Right bampots, as much as I love all the Emmet/Elle fluffiness that has taken over all Legally Blonde fanfiction, I thought it needed something new. These are basically Chutney's diary entries, and obviously in the next chatper (if I decide to write another chapter at all) will obviously progress just as the musical does. I know this could either be an epic win or epic fail, like Marmite, so here goes nothing!

Chutney's POV

06/10/07 23:27pm

Dear diary,

So yeah, maybe I shouldn't have accused Brooke of murdering my father. Maybe I shouldn't have convinced Nikos to lie. Maybe I shouldn't have shot anyone in the first place. There's not much I can do about it now, so who gives a rats ass?

I've never liked that workout-o-holic anyway, thought my father certainly did, which I find extremely creepy and rather perverse. God, I just got the most disturbing mental image ever, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm scarred for life now. Infinitely perverse. In other words: Vile. Disgusting. Rank. Repulsive and just plain weird; you can thank that Thesaurus for that.

I suppose Brooke had made one attempt at 'bonding', to be fair. Though she did spend half the time telling me how I 'should really stop getting perms, because us white girls just can't rock the afro look'. That's a direct quote, I'm not even exaggerating. In any case, I happen to think that my hairstyle is practical and very becoming; clearly she's an idiot to think otherwise.

I actually can't even bitch about her anymore, just her name brings me out in a rash. I really hope the sarcasm intended for the previous sentence came across. Anyway, from now onward I shall refer to her as The Stick. Nah, that's not very original...

23:50pm

Twiggy? No, that might seem complimentary, considering there is a model with the same name. Jeez, I'm unoriginal.

00:10am

Eureka! Lard ass! Ment ironically of course. God, sometimes I wonder why I'm not a comedian.

Well...that's twenty minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Its not like I meant to shoot my father. Why would I do such a thing without any motive whatsoever? Whereas Lard ass could well have had many reasons. The whole alleged affair thing didn't really work, considering the fact that Nikos is a complete and utter bampot who decided that during a trial was a good time to come back from the land of Narnia. Yeah, I did just make a 'Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe' reference joke.

The funny thing is, you'd probably expect me to have a starange Jean ValJean esque epiphany moment where I realize that it's not acceptable to lie, but I don't think there's much change of that happening. Why do time behind bars when someone else could be doing it for you? And anyway, its not like anyone genuinely cares about Lard ass losing her so called 'fitness empire'. She could always move to Amsterdam and become a prostitute.

Well, I quite literally have nothing left to write because I'm incredibly boring. Yay. Again, sarcasm.

So goodnight, and if there's an apocalypse, good luck.

So comments? Like or dislike? Continue or don't continue? Ah, so many questions. I know this first chapter is short, but that's because its like well...the first chapter. To be completely honest, I really had fun writing this. I don't know why, but I really did. Oh, and if you review leaving either constructive criticism or praise (I love me some praise), if you wish to you can request a diary entry fanfic for a character of your choice. I can't promise to do all of them, but I'll try my super-duper hardest.

Wow, I'm totally whoring for reviews now :')

And to finish off this really long author's note, for those who don't know what a 'bampot' is, its basically means idiot.