First Reborn fanfic ftw!

Sorry if they are OOC, i adore Bel but writing in his point of view or just simply writing about him at all is hard. D: I'm no good with his type of character.

I'm thinking of this EVENTUALLY being a FranxBel fic, i already have a few ideas of endings but so far it is a very slow start so please be patient with me D:

I do not own any of the characters in this, i just own my plot c:

Time goes slower when you have the feeling of helplessness.

You see or hear something happen that you know that you cannot or couldn't prevent. Like watching a glass fall to the ground, you just watch the glass and think "How in the world could can I prevent this?" and you watch as the glass shatters on the ground and instead of moving you are stuck staring at the display, one of the pieces cuts you and you draw back in surprise.

That itself is a form of beauty, from there you would continue to watch the blood slowly slide down your leg. Then your mind processes what is happening and the world returns to the normal timing.

Such things like that were art to me, anything to do with blood was. But a glass falling doesn't make me feel vulnerable.

But the feeling of helplessness wasn't something I enjoyed, or experienced often.

It started when Mammon didn't come back, I wasn't worried at all but everyone seemed down to me. Lussuria wasn't acting as jolly as he usually was, Squalo and Xanxus were quiet, Levi wasn't preaching to the boss, it was out of the ordinary but I didn't notice. I was too naïve to think that something bad had happened to Mammon, after all he was an Arcobaleno, he was invincible.

We ate our dinner in silence which was a first; I don't think I have ever had a dinner with the other officers of the Varia without someone yelling or someone throwing food. The air was tense and I finally realised something was wrong; I set down my cutlery and asked.

"What happened? You can't hide it from me for long because sooner or later I'll find out"

My face had no trademark grin, I didn't dare to laugh. I wanted so badly just to laugh and grin because the depressing air in the dining room was horrible in my covered eyes; sadness wasn't an emotion I have felt often. My mind raced through the possibilities of what had happened, none of them to do with Mammon, he was too strong to die. But I came to the conclusion (in less than twenty seconds) that it was indeed a joke, seeing at it was the 1st of April; it had to be a joke.

There was a long silence, it was one of those times that I thought everyone had a mental connection and they were all trying to see who would be the one who told me the news.

After what felt like an eternity, Squalo spoke. He used a voice that I had rarely ever heard him use. It was soft; I think this voice stopped me from stabbing something (or someone).

"Bel… today we lost our Mist Guardian, Mammon is dead."

Shocked wasn't the word to describe how I was feeling, my heart had been torn and ripped out of my chest and my mind was trying to think of Mammon, I didn't want my memories of him to be gone, I needed to preserve what he looked like I was afraid I wouldn't remember him. I was proud of myself for being so calm on the outer layers, yet on the inside I was dying silently.

"How did he die Squalo? I want to know." I asked, trying as hard as I could to disguise the cracks in my voice.

Squalo cleared his voice. "Well… Mammon was out on his mission where he met Colonello out of pure chance, Colonello said he needed to speak to Mammon about something… from there we are fuzzy on the details, we only knew that because Mammon told Xanxus. The next events were told to us by a Millefiore who we captured"

"One of the six funeral wreaths?" I asked him silently praying that was so, I didn't want to know Mammon was taken out by an underling.

Squalo shook his head "No, but he was head of a squad, or they we suspect there were two high level Millefiore present at the time. The man we captured reported that they overwhelmed them both with numbers and sheer force, and because of the Non-Trinisette… their powers were lower than half of what they were normally capable of, that you should know. Mammon was the one being targeted seeing as he is an illusionist and most of the men there didn't know how to protect themselves against illusions."

I smirked "Of course, the Millefiore are idiots."

Squalo waved his hand impatiently so I shut up. "Colonello and Mammon by then were fatigued and the Millefiore still had an advantage, being their numbers. Supposedly what happened next according to the Millefiore we caught said he caught Mammon in a position where he was sure to die when Colonello intervened and took the blow for Mammon. Mammon then realised the bad situation he was in and in a split second took his life, he chose to die instead of being tortured to death which was what he expected."

I wanted to punch Mammon in the face, I couldn't accept the fact he would be so selfish to take his life, he had always been a stingy little brat but I never thought he would put any of us in a situation like this, it was too much to bear. Everyone could tell I was upset about this fact and they were all sending me sympathetic looks, even Xanxus though it was hard to see as he was trying to hide it with his normal manner of glaring at everything. But I didn't want their sympathy.

I just wanted Mammon.

It was then I realised I was gripping my knife so hard that my hands were turning white, I loosened my grip and watched as colour slowly came back, colour that Mammon would never achieve again. I had seen it countless times; a dead person would have their face lose its colour to only be eaten by maggots, the flesh rots and the blood loses is characteristics, until all that is left is the bones of the person.

My comrades were waiting for me to say something, I think they were waiting for me to ask a question, any question, they weren't sure on what I was going to do. Nor was I, at the current moment my mind was trying to grasp the image of Mammon lying in a coffin, his hood hiding his glassy eyes… this image one I knew I would be seeing soon.

"So when will be his funeral?" I asked them.

And for the second moment in the past eight minutes I felt as if anyone had a mental connection, I could almost hear them think.

"Which one of us will tell Bel the answer? Should we tell the truth? Should we lie?"

"Che don't make me wait, one of you answer me right this instant." I said impatiently.

Squalo spoke up once more "Bel… we weren't able to recover Mammon's body, the Millefiore took it and probably disposed of it along with Colonello's"

This comment made me angry; I hated the idea that no one in the Varia cared about Mammon enough to go retrieve his body from them.

"WHY WAS MAMMON ALONE? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE HELP HIM OR GET HIS BODY? WHY? WHY DID HE KILL HIMSELF? WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE A WEAK STUPID BASTARD? THE VARIA ARE STRONG, MAMMON WAS STRONG BUT HE PROVED HE WASN'T. WHY DID HE DIE? WHY ARE THE MILLEFIORE LIKE THIS? I WANT TO JUST GO KILL BYAKURAN RIGHT NOW THE BASTARD NO ONE CAN STOP ME, A PRINCE'S WORD IS FINAL IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN ALWAYS WILL BE, WILL ANY OF YOU STOP ME? TRY I DARE YOU TRY AND STOP THIS PRINCE." I yelled. I was stabbing something, the table I think. I was mad, really mad. I had never been this mad in my life, had I ever been mad at all before? I got ticked off a few times, only a few enough to count on my hand and only one or two were by the side of another Varia member.

They were speechless, I could see that they were thinking that I was overreacting, they were scared. I didn't want to look at them; I didn't want to look at anything except Mammon, dead or alive. I was a visual person; I needed to see Mammon dead before I could accept it.

I stood up and glared at everyone, though the effort was wasted seeing as my eyes were covered.

"One of you take me to Mammon at this very moment or I'll tear you all to shreds" I said icily, producing three knives out of my jacket.

"Bel-chan, Squ-kun already told you that the Millefiore already took Mammon-chan's body in. Even if they didn't have it, the area they could have disposed of it in is too vast and it will take too long to find it, even if we did find it do you really want to see the remainder of Mammon-chan, no doubt now a mangled corpse infested with maggots?" Lussuria asked, trying to be kind but only pissing me off further.

"So you are basically saying the Varia can't be fucked about caring for their members?" I asked my voice still cold.

"Listen up trash, only the strong survive in this place. You should know that you idiotic scumbag." Xanxus growled. He was not impressed with my actions.

"Fine. If we don't need the weak then seeing as I am "overreacting" or so you are thinking, yes I can see it in your face. I'll just leave."

"Whatever trash, we all know you will only survive for a short while until you come crawling back." Xanxus snarled, apparently not caring that his words hurt.

"Boss… you don't need to be harsh to poor Bel-chan, he's upset about Mammon-chan" Lussuria said as he glanced at both of us, trying to make us stop.

"Stupid trash needs to be told how it is. He said it himself, the Varia are strong, if he lets a simple death make him leave the Varia then he obviously doesn't deserve to be here in the first place, let alone having the position of an officer."

That was it, I suddenly was disgusted at myself for being so loyal to a man like this, a man not capable of understanding any emotion except hatred, and I loathed him. Right then and there I wanted nothing more than to slit his throat, to watch the glorious blood spill from his neck into my hands. I wanted to see his eyes be filled with shock before I plunged my knives deeper into his skin. The faces of my comrades shocked and repulsed would only make me drive on further before he was well and truly dead.

But that wasn't something I could easily accomplish, nor was it something Mammon would have wanted him to do. My loyalty for Xanxus was still there, I wanted to kill him but I knew I would regret it and plus I wouldn't be able to be in the Varia again, the Vindice might take me away. I was regaining my composure little by little but at that current moment I was like a deer caught in the headlights.

Now what do I do?

I made the mistake of looking at Xanxus who was smirking at his self-proclaimed victory.

"I'm going to go train." I announced making my way towards the training floor in the gigantic mansion of the Varia; it was so tempting to go out on a killing spree. It was the only thing I felt that would fill the small hole inside of me that was aching for Mammon.

I'm not a physical person, without my knives or a ring or a box I can easily be defeated, hand to hand combat has never been one of my strong points, this is why I decided to train myself to be able to use that fighting style then and there. Humiliation, anger and sadness fuelled my desire to make myself stronger.

None of my other high ranked cohorts joined me or even watched me train. I was alone against numerous practice dummies and underlings, I had lost count of how many I KO-ed. I was quite happy with my outcome at the end, I had managed to make myself more comfortable when it came to kicking and punching, though I wasn't as good as Lussuria when it came to martial arts and it was far from being my preferred way of killing. I was still impressed though with my improvement and gave myself a mental pat on the back.

I began to walk back towards the gigantic rec room the guardians used for a source of entertainment, not caring about those who I injured. I walked into the rec room and sat on the couch and lazily flicked through the television channels before settling on a soap opera. I myself loved yelling at the people in the shows that thought their life was horrible; it was almost as amusing as performing pranks on people. Plus everyone else in the Varia, save for Lussuria hated the shows and my opinion there was nothing better than to fight with someone about what to watch until someone gave into my demands.

"Jonathan please no! Please don't leave me, I love you! I can't live without you!" A brunette girl on the television exclaimed while crying.

"Stupid girl, who would want to be around with a disgusting brat with no sex appeal?" I sneered resisting the urge to use one of my crafted knives to try and cut the picture on the screen.

"Voi, who the fuck are you talking to brat?"

I turned towards Squalo who was now leaning against the door frame holding a glass containing a crimson liquid I assumed to be wine.

"Ushishi, the idiots on TV make me irritated"

Squalo just shook his head and sat in the armchair next to me.

"Boss is already in the process of finding a replacement for Mammon."

I stiffened at the comment. "Any luck so far?"

Squalo shook his head. "Even if he did he would need to ask for your opinion first seeing as you were the closest to Mammon, therefore you would know what traits a proper illusionist should have."

I scowled at Squalo. "I'm not browsing for a fucking puppy, illusionists are people too. Nevertheless why does Boss need my outlook on which illusionist we should pick?" I asked him slicing the arm rest of the couch.

"It's not as if you see anyone of a lower standard as a person anyway. Or I should say anyone for that matter anyone seeing as you think you are top shit Belphegor, and don't ruin the couch or Boss will get mad."

I crossed my arms and faced away from him. "I'm a Prince, I can do whatever I want you stupid shark."

"VOI YOU PISS ME OFF YOU INSOLENT BRAT. SO, are you going to help choose or not?"

"Why does it even matter? We didn't replace Gola Mosca when that kid destroyed him" I mumbled.

"Yeah but how many illusionists do the Varia have? Two. I would've thought you would be happier to choose new bait to pick on."

I looked at Squalo and grinned. "When you put it that way it makes the task give the impression of being a lot more enjoyable." I looked back at the TV. "But still I don't want to socialise with the Boss"

"You're just a stubborn brat, who did you devote your loyalty to when you joined the Varia? Definitely not Mammon, in fact I recall in your first year of being here you hated his guts!"

He was right; I DID devote myself to Xanxus the boss of the Varia and not Mammon the mist guardian. He was also right about me disliking Mammon, I was an ignorant child used to being pampered. When Mammon didn't want to put up with my shit he would make me put up with his shit which was very unenjoyable. It took me a long time to understand Mammon's demeanour and even longer to get used to his constant talk about money, but I warmed up to him as soon as I started to understand him

"Mammon was my friend" I said softly.

Squalo's expression didn't change, he wasn't surprised, and he didn't soften at the comment. I could only guess what he was thinking and I didn't guess it being pleasant. "Prince The Ripper has a friend? I don't believe it. Now hurry the fuck up before I cut off your limbs, I don't want something thrown at me for making Boss wait." He growled.

I sighed angrily and picked myself up and slowly dragged myself to where Boss was sure to be.

"HURRY UP YOU FUCKING BASTARD DO YOU WANT BOSS TO HURT ME? VOII" He yelled, his temper was short because of my actions so everything was amplified by the thick layer of annoyance around him.

"Ushishi of course I do, don't you know anything?"

I was just trying to provoke him so I would have an excuse to hit him and be able to vent out my anger at the same time but he must've read me because instead of acting like he usually would he just walked faster which was the perfect move since I had no choice but to follow him. If I didn't meet up with Xanxus when he was looking for me, I would get punished regardless.

Squalo opened the double doors to Xanxus' office and I couldn't help but smile a little, it was my favourite room in the entire place, the walls were crimson red and the floors were wooden and shiny. The furniture matched the walls and ground and everything was just so breathtaking, it was far more exquisite than the castle I used to live in, it was a masculine type of beauty that got me every time I entered the room even though I didn't understand why.

"Trash, have you finally got over your tantrum or are you still going to act like a stupid little child?" Xanxus asked.

I glared at him, glad my fringe covered my eyes.

"You can decide on that one Boss, anyway Squalo told me you requested assistance in choosing a new member for the Varia."

"Trash lose your nerve before I reduce you to ash."

He was definitely being serious.

"Ushishi sorry Boss, so do you have profiles on many skilled illusionists so far?" I asked.

Oh man it was killing me to be polite to the goddamn bastard.

"We the Varia are an elite organization; therefore we have a lot of information about people right trash?"

The question surprised me, I hesitantly nodded. He pushed his laptop towards me and on it was three men… well two men and a young teen. He pulled the laptop back.

"All three of these scumbags have no bios, no information. We only have the locations of two of them and the name of one. Though the information could be inaccurate for one seeing as the picture of him was taken a number of years ago along with his information"

I frowned. "I know for certain that we had more illusionists on the database Boss."

"Idiot, about three quarters of the illusionists on the database are dead, and all but those three aren't skilled enough." He said knowingly.

"But you just said that we have barely any information on them"

"This means they are definitely good if they are able to stay hidden from the spies within our organization."

He had me there, the more I thought about it the more sense it made.

"Ushishi. True Boss, do you have a favourite out of the three?" I asked Xanxus.

He motioned me to come beside him to look at the screen. He pointed at the teen that had seam foam green hair and teal eyes; he was lanky from what I could tell, he looked quite feminine but he was easily identifiable as a guy. His photo was in a dark environment and his head was at an angle that made him hard to see.

"I heard from a little bird that this scumbag can perform first-class illusions, and is currently in the possession of a hell ring. In fact from what I have heard, he has a power that could rival Mammon's"

I didn't doubt his words. Suddenly this guy seemed intriguing to me, and for the first time since dinner Mammon's death wasn't painful.

"Can you zoom in on the picture Boss?"

He did so without questioning my request I began studying him, analysing him like I always did with my prey when I noticed a mark below his eye.

"Boss, can you zoom in some more roughly about here?" I asked pointing to the point where the mark was.

He growled but he zoomed in on it until I realised what that mark was.

"Those are *Nascosto marks."

Both Squalo and Xanxus looked at me questioningly.

"Mammon never told you what they are?"

They both shook their heads.

"Ushishi of course, the prince always gets to know things first. A Nascosto mark is a mark some illusionists have. Roughly around 3.4% of illusionists have them, it's very rare to have one. It's even more uncommon to have two. Both Mammon and this guy have two."

"Voiii. Mammon never told us about this. Does it make an illusionist more powerful?" Squalo asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know, Mammon never told me what a Nascosto mark meant."

"It's an odd name, Nascosto? What do they mean by that?" Squalo asked.

"Stupid shark, I've told you everything I know about them." I replied.

"One thing I don't get trash, you say you don't know much about these so called "Nascosto Marks", yet you could tell those are them?" Xanxus asked.

"Ushishi, it was my princely intuition that told me Boss. Anyway enough with the silly questions, when will officially hire him? I've decided he is worthy enough to be in my presence but that is only because of his proclaimed skill."

Xanxus' brow furrowed. "I'm not entirely sure, our trashy spies need to confirm his location and from there we will need to think of a plan to try and either capture him or motivate him into joining us."

I chuckled. "And who wouldn't want to?"

Xanxus just shook his head rather than to get into a discussion with me.

Yay! Complete, i'm going to continue so don't worry :P

*Nascosto means Hidden, i'll develop a proper meaning for the marks later on, remember this is purely fanmade, in no way is this real.

I'm hoping to be able to write good long chapters like this one.

Still it will be a while till the lemons D:

My writing ability slowly decreases when i write dialogue xD