PROUD FLESH: MISSING SCENES
"Are you all right?"
In the middle of all the screams and shouts, Alex heard only Bobby's voice. In the middle of all the flashing lights and pulsating sirens and the cameras, she saw only his dark eyes. She nodded slowly, her free hand rising slowly to her mouth. Bobby's hand hovered over her shoulder.
Jonas Slaughter yelled at the crowd as her herded his daughter-in-law away from her husband's body. Alex thought that she'd never let a monster like that pull her away from the man she loved. Bobby's eyes filled with rage, and he bounded over to confront Slaughter. Alex was very afraid, but she didn't know if she was afraid of or for Bobby.
"Detective Eames…Alex…"
Alex turned to face a uniformed Captain whose name she couldn't place with his face.
"Yes, Sir," she said.
"I'm sorry. I have to take your gun." The Captain was very polite and apologetic. "There's no question it was a good shoot, but we have to…"
"I know." Alex handed her weapon butt first to the Captain, who took it gingerly. Alex looked at Bobby, who was in Jonas Slaughter's face. "My partner…"
The Captain turned just as Bobby, with a great deal of effort, pulled away from Slaughter.
"I think he's coming back here," the Captain said with obvious relief.
The press vultures' attention started to swing from the victim of the shooting to the shooter.
"Detective," the Captain said to Bobby as he approached Alex. "Get Detective Eames out of here. I'll let your captain know what happened."
Bobby had regained control of the emotions he'd nearly lost. "Thank you, Sir…C'mon, Eames…" He shot an angry look at the photographers and cameramen before he guided Alex back into the courthouse. Like most cops, Bobby and Alex knew most of the passages and by ways of New York City courthouses. Alex found herself on a loading dock staring at a grey, concrete wall.
"Wait here," Bobby said. "I'll get a cab."
He disappeared around the grey wall before Alex could ask where they were. As she waited, she was grateful the concrete protected her from the press and the bitterly cold wind. She was just beginning to wonder if she should go after Bobby when he appeared from around the wall.
"I've got a cab," he said.
He slipped his badge back into his pocket. "You used your badge," she said as she followed him.
"Yea," he admitted. "In a pinch, I'm not above using it."
The cabdriver appeared relieved to discover that Alex was real. Bobby held the door open for her and slipped into the seat next to her. He hesitated before giving an address to the driver, and Alex spoke first.
"One Police Plaza," she said firmly.
"Are you…" Bobby began.
She quieted him with a fierce look. They sat silently as they travelled to Major Case. As they neared the building Bobby started to direct the driver to a side entrance, but Alex pointed him to the front of the building.
"I've got to face them sometime," she said as they left the cab.
And admiring and concerned Bobby followed Alex as she strode into the building and the squad room with her head held high. Deakins, talking on the phone, looked surprised as Alex and Bobby walked into his office.
"Are you all right, Alex?" he asked.
"I'm fine," she declared.
"It was a good shot," Bobby said. "She saved a civilian."
"That's what everyone's reported to me," Deakins said. "I don't think there'll be much of a question about that. For one thing, there's plenty of witnesses, not only at the courthouse, but plenty of cameras."
"Captain," Bobby said anxiously. "Chance Slaughter didn't kill his brother. He confessed to protect his father. His father said as much to me. We still have a case against him. The guy Jonas Slaughter hired…"
"I don't know." Deakins shook his head. "A dying confession…Captured on film…In front of hundreds of witnesses…"
"But Chance didn't do it!" Bobby shouted. "His father used him. They used Eames…"
"I know, Bobby." Deakins didn't blink. "I agree with you. And I'll do what I can to convince Carver and the Brass. I'm on your side. I suspect Jonas Slaughter won't find it as easy to escape questions as he thinks."
Bobby managed to calm himself. "Eames will get her gun back soon?"
"I'm sure of it," Deakins said. "I've talked to Internal Affairs. They're sending two officers right away…I think I see them now…"
Bobby and Alex had less reason than other cops to dislike or be suspicious of Internal Affairs. For all of Bobby's eccentricity and brushes with authority, he rarely inspired civilian complaints, and even IAB had trouble heeding the cries of the defense attorneys of clearly guilty perps. Alex had a reputation as a strictly by the book cop. Being regarded with suspicion by other cops was something they both were familiar with, and they felt some sympathy and empathy for the always maligned IAB. But they shared some of their fellow cops' resentments and suspicions of the cops who investigated cops.
"Remember," Alex thought as she sat across from the two detectives. "No matter how much they smile and tell how much they know how you feel, these people are not your friends."
It wasn't as painful as she feared it would be. Alex sensed both detectives were going through the motions. They didn't interrupt her account and asked few questions when she finished.
"I don't think there's any problem here," the detective with an ID giving his name as Hector Jiminez said. "You'll get your badge back soon."
As she left the room, Alex met Bobby. "It wasn't bad," she whispered. "I think they believed me."
"They have to," Bobby growled.
She tried not to pay attention to Bobby's interview, but her eyes occasionally strayed to the room. She knew that everyone else in the squad room was also trying not to pay attention as well. His interview lasted longer than hers, and he emerged rubbing his neck. He didn't look at her as he approached their desks.
"You…You're right…They believe us," he said.
"Well…Like you said…They had to," Alex said as she watched the IAB men enter Deakins' office. They spoke briefly with the Captain, shook his hand ("A good sign," Alex thought), and left his office.
"Detective Eames," Jiminez said as he and his partner passed Alex's desk. "Don't worry…You'll have your gun back tomorrow. This was clearly a case of suicide by cop."
"More like we were set up to do someone else's dirty work," Bobby muttered.
"Maybe," the other IAB cop said. "You could be right, Goren. Your captain is leaning that way. But whatever caused it, it was a justifiable shoot."
"Jonas Slaughter," Alex said warily.
"Don't worry Eames. Even a guy with as much money as he has can't buy off all those witnesses and edit all those cameras," Jiminez said. "Thank you, Detectives, for your cooperation. Sorry we met under these circumstances, but it's good to meet two of the department's better cops."
Deakins approached their desks as the two IAB detectives left. "Don't worry, Eames," the Captain said. He spoke loudly enough so that most of the Squad Room, which was trying to look like it wasn't listening, could hear him. "Like the detectives said, you'll have your gun back tomorrow. The reports can wait until then, especially since we don't know what ADA Carver wants to do. Get out of here." His voice became softer. "And Alex…"
Alex was reminded, not for the first time, that Deakins was the father of three daughters, and apparently a very good one.
"Call me if you need anything. And while I'm keeping you on active duty, I do want you to see a counselor."
Alex started to protest, but reconsidered. Counselors had helped her some before—not as much as getting back to work, but some—and Deakins was being more than reasonable. "I couldn't just talk to my partner?"
"I suspect Goren has as much…If not more…knowledge than a lot of psychiatrists," Deakins smiled. "But I'm afraid he's not an objective observer."
"I'm not sure how much help your partner's been lately," Bobby muttered.
"Well," Alex said after a moment. "He can buy me a margarita."
"Of course," Bobby said, quickly standing and grabbing Alex and his coats.
"Take care of yourselves," Deakins said, waving his hand in a gesture that could've been one of dismissal or of blessing.
Bobby was horribly quiet during the elevator ride. He stared at the floor, unable or unwilling to meet Alex's gaze. Alex felt hurt, angry, and confused, and was too frightened to say anything. They didn't speak until they were free of One Police Plaza.
"Bobby," Alex said sharply. "Damnit…Say something to me."
He stared at the sidewalk.
"Are you ashamed to be seen with me?" Alex's anger was rising, and she wasn't sure who or what it was directed at.
Bobby's head shot up. "No…Oh, God…No…Eames…I…I would never be ashamed to be with you…It…It's an honor to be with you…"
"Well, what's this silent treatment? What am I supposed to think? I…" Alex bit her lip.
Bobby waved for a cab. "C'mon," he said as one pulled up. "Let's go some place…"
Anger dripping from her, Alex slipped into the cab ahead of Bobby. Without thinking, Bobby gave the cabbie her address. The man gave him a look of protest, but Bobby assured him that he'd be well paid for the long trip.
"And who knows," Bobby thought. "I may just be taking this cab home…"
Alex maintained a stony silence through the trip. Bobby didn't dare to start any conversation. He feared the result of anything he might say. They reached Alex's house, and Bobby handed over a large part of his wallet's contents to the driver. He followed Alex out of the cab. She didn't encourage him, but she didn't discourage him either. He was in the front hallway and had just closed the door when she spun to face him.
"Where were you?" she shouted. "Why couldn't you get your damn gun out?"
Then she was on him, her arms flailing wildly and her fists pummeling him. Bobby didn't attempt to defend himself; he didn't even raise his binder as a shield. The fury of Alex's attack sent him against the wall, and Bobby leaned against it as Alex's blows rained on him. He stood mutely as Alex raged against Jonas Slaughter, Chance Slaughter, the NYPD, and Bobby Goren. Finally, after several long minutes, Alex stumbled away from Bobby and collapsed on the floor. Bobby stood uncertainly. One of his hands moved to his face, and he stared at it after he moved it away. It was covered in blood.
"Oh," Alex said. "I…I hurt you. I really hurt you."
"It…It's all right…You're upset…You have every right to be upset…And…And you're right…I…I shoulda protected you…You shouldn't have to…"
Alex lurched to her feet and stumbled towards him. "Oh, God…Bobby," she said, her hand reaching for his face.
Bobby flinched and turned away, and Alex felt terrible.
"It…It's nothing," he said.
"Bobby…There's blood all over your face. C'mon…" She took his hand and pulled him in the direction of her big bathroom. Bobby fought her.
"Please, Bobby…It'll make me feel better…"
He let her lead him into the bathroom where she sat him on the closed toilet and wiped the blood from his face. It came from a cut on his lip and his nose, and both stopped bleeding as Alex cleaned him up. Bobby glanced at Alex's hands as she wiped his face. "Uh…Eames…Your knuckles…"
Alex stared at her right hand; its knuckles were bruised and bloody.
"Here," Bobby said. "Let's change places…"
Before Alex knew what was happening, she was on the seat Bobby previously occupied. He balanced on the edge of the tub and carefully cleaned her hand with the tissues and disinfectant she'd just used on him.
"Bobby…It's just a few scrapes…You're…Ouch!" She winced as he dabbed at her knuckles. "Bobby…You're hurt a lot more than me…"
Bobby dropped her hand and jerked away from her. "I…I'm sorry…I…"
"I'm sorry too," Alex said gently. "Let's get out of here…"
Bobby stood shakily. "I…I'm sorry…I don't seem to be able to…Oh…Alex…"
His use of her first name and his plaintiff cry broke Alex's heart.
"I can't help you," Bobby said. "Everything I do…It's wrong…Today…I didn't react fast enough…You…It's not just that you…You could've been killed…But that…I can't even think of that…But that you had to kill someone…It…I…"
"Bobby…" Alex stood and reached for him. "You're not responsible for what happened. Jonas Slaughter was. You know what really frightened me?"
He looked down at her.
"When you went after him…I was afraid you might do something…You were so angry…And…And you were gone…You were away from me…And…And…" She began shaking, and Bobby wrapped his arms around her.
"Alex…Alex…"
"He…He was a young man…His wife was pregnant…Just like me…" Alex clung to Bobby so tightly that it hurt him.
"Chance Slaughter was going to kill an innocent young woman," Bobby said. "With a daughter. He had a choice Your husband was a cop doing his job. He didn't have a choice."
"What's she going to do? His widow? With that monster of a father-in-law?"
"I…I don't know…But…I don't know what Jonas Slaughter is thinking. By that time that child is old enough to take over his empire, Slaughter will be a very old man. An old, lonely man who probably won't have an empire. He sacrificed both of his sons for it, and because he has no sons, he'll have no empire. You can almost see the buzzards starting to circle. Jonas Slaughter killed both his sons. You or another cop…It would've been the same. You saved a little girl's mother. Remember that."
"I…I'm sorry I got so angry," Alex said. "I know I'm a better and faster shot than you."
"You're one of the best in the NYPD," Bobby said. "And I'm one of the worst."
"I guess that makes us a good match," Alex said shakily.
"One of many things that does," Bobby said. "Although you shouldn't have to…"
"C'mon…Let's get somewhere more comfortable." Alex guided Bobby back to the living room. They sat next to each other on her sofa, and Alex pulled the throw over them.
"What…"
"I need you," Alex said softly.
"I…I need you too," Bobby answered.
"You always protect me, Bobby…"
"You…You do the same for me…"
They held each other until they fell asleep.
END