Hank's Revenge

Chapter 1: Plotting

Hank Hill was very furious at this point. He sat impatiently in his office at a propane store called Strickland Propane. Hank looked out his window and watched the other employees selling propane and propane accessories. Hank was the assistant manager of Strickland Propane, and he was very proud of his job. Hank looked up at the clock on the wall behind him. It was 4:59 pm. He had one minute left before his boss, Mr. Buck Strickland, would let him leave the office. Hank sat at his small brown desk with a million receipts and contracts from propane customers. Hank's office had panel wood walls and a gray filing cabinet. Behind him was also a map of Texas, Mexico, and the surrounding areas.

Hank had no other work to do, so he took off his thick, square rimmed glasses and wiped them with his pale blue collared shirt. Most of the employees wore pale blue shirts at Strickland Propane. Mr. Strickland, however, was usually seen wearing a white collar shirt with a blue necktie and a black suit. Hank put his glasses back on, and he scratched his thick brown hair. Hank was fortunate to still have a full head of hair while in his early 40's. Two of his friends, Bill Dauterive and Dale Gribble were not so lucky, though.

Hank heard the clock click to 5:00, so he got up and began to leave the office. Boy was he in a hurry to leave. He was so angry with his wife, Peggy. Peggy had lately wanted to make out with Hank, but their son, Bobby, accidentally kicked Hank in the groin when Hank was teaching Bobby self-defense. As a result, Hank was still sore from the accident, and he could not make out with Peggy. Peggy did not like that, though, and it just so happened that Bill Dauterive had a crush on Peggy. He came over to the Hills' house one night to see Peggy, and they made out. What Hank found even more disgusting was that his niece, Luanne Platter, and even Bobby were sleeping in bed with Bill and Peggy. Hank chased Bill over to his house and beat him up. However, Peggy chose to stay with Bill at his house since Hank was not "useful in bed". Ever since the day Peggy walked into Bill's house, Hank had been feeling very disgusted.

Hank left his office and entered the showroom, which was a rather small room with red carpet and panel wood walls. There was a main desk in the back. Throughout the little room, there were several propane grills setup for display. Next to the entrance, an American flag hung. Just as Hank was about to leave Strickland Propane, he heard Mr. Strickland speak to him. "Ah, ah, ah, Hank, don't leave just yet. I've got one more thing for you to do," he said. Hank turned to face Mr. Strickland, who had balding gray hair.

"Yes, Mr. Strickland?" Hank asked.

"Hank, could you take those bad propane tanks to the dump?" Mr. Strickland asked, pointing to a stack of three propane tanks in the corner of the store. "Joe Jack's delivering some tanks, so he can't do it right now, and I need those tanks out immediately."

"Sure, Mr. Strickland," Hank said. Hank walked to the back of the store and got a blue hand truck. He loaded the propane tanks onto it and rolled the tanks outside. Hank took the ramp, which was next to the stairs. Hank rolled the hand truck to his red Ford F-150 pickup truck. It was a very large truck with all the new bells and whistles. He'd bought it as a replacement for his old Ford Ranger, which got totaled in a train wreck.

Hank loaded the propane tanks into his truck, and then he rolled back the hand truck into the store. "See you later, Hank," Mr. Strickland said.

"Bye, sir," Hank said, shutting the door. He then got into his big truck and started the engine. The truck roared as it started, and it growled as Hank stepped on the accelerator. That truck sure had loads of power! Hank left Strickland Propane and headed off several miles to the dump. He took a lonely country road and traveled very quickly along the way. He couldn't wait to get back home so that he could unwind with his friends. He had to tell them how angry he felt about Peggy. Maybe that would make him feel better.

Hank got to the dump and saw its rickety wooden fence and wooden sign that said, "Jenson's Refuge". Hank drove his truck into the dump and stopped it when he got to a pile of propane tanks that had accumulated. He shut off the power to the truck, and everything suddenly got much quieter. Hank unloaded the three propane tanks and placed them near the pile. Then, he got back in his truck and started it. He then drove back to the neighborhood to be with his friends.

TIME LAPSE 30 minutes later

"Yep," Dale said.

"Mm-hmm," Boomhauer mumbled. He then looked over the fence where they stood out. It bordered Hank's property. Boomhauer saw Hank coming out of his house and heading to the alley to talk to them. "Hey-man, here-come-dang-ol'-Hank, man," Boomhauer said quickly.

Hank stormed over to the guys. Dale had his usual orange cap, which covered his balding reddish brown hair. He had shiny sunglasses, which he almost never removed in public. Dale had his usual brown shirt on and blue jeans. A half-smoked cigarette dangled from his mouth. Boomhauer wore his black shirt and blue jeans, which he also seemed to wear just about every day of the week. Boomhauer had a serious face and blonde hair.

"Hey, Hank, you're here," Dale said. "Let's start the conversation over, Boomhauer," Dale said.

"Mm-hmm," Boomhauer said.

"Yep," Dale said.

"Yep," Boomhauer said.

"Yep," Dale said.

"You-dang-ol'-already-said-dang-ol'-yep, man," Boomhauer said.

"Guess it's my turn," Hank said. "Yep," he said, sounding irritated.

"What's the matter with you? Still mad about Peggy?" Dale asked.

"No, Dale, I'm mad because the sky is blue," he said sarcastically. "OF COURSE I'M MAD ABOUT PEGGY!" he shouted.

"Dang-ol'-Bill-man-got-dat-dang-ol-Peggy, man," Boomhauer said.

"What I don't understand is that Peggy and I have been married over 20 years, and I have a good, strong body. I'm assistant manager of Strickland Propane and helped raise Bobby. I just don't understand why Peggy would go to Bill. I mean, he's almost bald, he always wears an undershirt in public, he's an Army barber, and he got a divorce. Plus, he's never had any kids. I just don't understand why Peggy would choose Bill over me. I can't help it if I'm not in the shape to make out. She should be more understanding about that," Hank said.

"Hank, Peggy's just looking for a little fun in her life right now. She's a substitute teacher for goodness sakes. She's stressed out and tired, she needs a break," Dale said. "But I can help you get her back," Dale said.

"It's a good thing that Bill doesn't come to the alley anymore," Hank said. "I'd beat him up even more for stealing my wife!"

"Don't worry, Hank. We'll get your Peggy back. TO THE BUG-A-BAGO!" shouted Dale.

Minutes later, Hank, Boomhauer, and Dale were inside Dale's bug-a-bago. The bug-a-bago was basically just a utility van that had a large fake insect mounted to the roof. On the sides, it also said, "Dale's Dead Bug", which was the company that Dale owned and worked for.

"Gentlemen, we will first begin this operation by capturing Bill," Dale said. "We'll sneak inside his house when he's at work, and when he gets back, you guys will grab him and hold him down while I tie him up. Then, we lock him in his closet while Hank rescues Peggy and takes her back home. Then, mission accomplished."

"That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard," Hank said. "I'm going to handle this on my own," Hank said, leaving the bug-a-bago.

"Sure, reject my plan, but you'll be back!" snapped Dale. "Besides, whether you like it or not, Boomhauer and I are going to execute my plan anyways!"

"You do that, Dale. I've got my own ideas…" Hank said. Hank went back home to unwind for the rest of the evening.