It was a normal day for Dylan and her trusty pc 'matrix' eating cereal together at the breakfast table. But their crunchy meal was soon to be interrupted... by the doorbell. Dylan got up and walked into the living room, opening the door to find...Agent Smith!
"I have some matters to discuss with you...Miss Skylar."
Dylan, however, was not listening because she was completely freaking out obsessing over the fact that Agent Smith was on her doorstep. Seeing how he was being ignored...or at least what he was saying was...Agent Smith pulled out his gun. He did not like being ignored. Fortunately Dylan was a smart child and closed the door.
BLAM!
Dylan's door also happened to be bullet proof. Unfortunately, the door was not kick proof, and Agent Smith had soon kicked his way through. He then realized she had only closed the door, not locked it, and opened it the normal way.
The force of the door opening threw Dylan backwards as Agent Smith entered.
"I don't like playing games, Miss Skylar. It's really not wise to laugh at an Agent." He paused in annoyance as he realized Dylan was still looking highly amused. "You must realize I know all about you. In one life you are a normal girl at a prestigious high school. In another you are an online hacker, going by the alias of Vampiryyn, making fancy web pages, and writing..." he grimaced, "fanfiction. One of these lives has a future, the other does not." He pointed his gun at her head. "You chose."
Dylan was very scared by the sight of the gun, as she no longer had a door to close in the agent's face. Mere fear, however, did not daunt her. Instead she kicked the gun out of Agent Smith's hand, using the mad skills she had acquired from practice with hacky-sack. She then pushed the baffled Agent Smith out the door, also closing the kick-proof screen this time. Not hearing any curse words being thrown at her from outside, Dylan decided everything was ok and would go back to normal. How wrong she was. As she stepped into her bathroom and looked into the mirror she realized something was amiss.
"Ahhh! Goopy mirror!"
The mirror had in fact become 'goopy' as she put it, and was quickly enveloping her in it's cold, 'goopy' grasp. Dylan awoke in a dim room surrounded by dark figures in black trench-coats. Her eyes hurt, and she had no hair. She gasped.
"Oh my god! I'm out of the Matrix and you guys are Morpheus and Trinity and Neo and those other guys and somehow my present day is a time when none of you have died yet!" She gasped again. "I know the future!"
The crew of the...ship...thingey...looked at her in a puzzled fashion.
"Wow," said Neo, "we haven't even plugged her into any programs yet."
Morpheus smiled at Dylan.
"Yes, welcome to the ship...thingey...I am Morpheus, and we tracked you and picked you up after your mirror went psycho and spit you out of the Matrix."
"Wait..." muttered Dylan, "how could you track me if I never swallowed one of those red pills?"
Morpheus smiled...again.
"The tracking program can take many forms...we knew the Agents would come after one who creates such great web pages and fanfiction, so we made one that looks like a chocolate bar and put it on your window sill."
"Oh...so that's what that chocolate bar was doing there..."
"Yes, yes," muttered Morpheus. "but we have no time to waste. You must come with us back into the matrix to save your friends, who the Agents have targeted."
Dylan was shocked to learn that her friends might be in danger, but one thing was still bothering her.
"Um, should I, y'know, download some programs so I can have super mad kung fu moves and stuff to fight the agents with and be able to jump over buildings and that kinda stuff?"
"No time for that!" Morpheus exclaimed, "you'll pick it up as you go along."
Dylan was about to make a sarcastic comment before she was thrust back into the world of the matrix. Dylan appeared back in her own town, on her own street, wearing the most kickass clothing she had ever seen. her clothing was so kickass, in fact, that it could not be adequately described. As an inadequate description though, it was very black, very flowing, and involved sunglasses.
"Where to?" asked Dylan. Neo tilted his head as he used his omniscient One powers and replied.
"Agent Smith is attacking your red-haired friend."
"No! Natalie!" Dylan shouted, panic for her friend's safety setting in. Despite having no previous experience in the art, she flew off to her friend's aid, being shortly followed by Neo and then Morpheus and Trinity, because they somehow learned how to fly. Upon arriving at Natalie's house, Dylan was overjoyed to see that her friend was alright. The red-head had held off Smith's attack by hitting him with her herring and running around alot.
"Natalie! We've come to rescue you!" Dylan flew down to the scene of the battle, realizing a bit late that she didn't know how to land.
WHAM!
She plowed into Agent Smith, causing them both to fall over and the agent's gun to be knocked out of his hand. After much confused scrambling, the teen and the program managed to separate themselves, standing to face each other.
"You shouldn't have come back, Miss Skylar." He smirked. "Now you will meet your doom."
Dylan glared at him.
"My name...is Dylan! CANADAAAA!" She launched herself at the agent, adopting Neo's fighting techniques as she and the agent did the dance of death...salsa.
"Neo, now!" yelled Morpheus, pointing toward Natalie. "Give the girl this while Smith is distracted!" He threw Neo a foil-wrapped object, which The One opened to reveal...
"A brownie? You want me to give her a brownie!"
"It is not just any brownie, Neo, it is a Nestle Tollhouse brownie with real Hershey's chocolate."
"..."
"It's also a tracking device so that we can pull her out of the matrix before she is possessed by an agent."
"Oh...ok." Neo walked over to Natalie. "Um, hey, I need you to eat this." The girl stared warily at the chocolate pastry.
"No."
"What? Why not?"
Natalie gave him an annoyed look.
"You think I don't know about brownies? You're a drug lord trying to corrupt my young and impressionable mind! Leave me alone or I'll be forced to defend myself."
Neo looked blankly at her for a moment.
"Yeah...I still really need you to eat this."
SMACK!
The One got a face-full of fish.
Meanwhile...
"One two three, one two three..." Dylan whispered the counts under her breath as she danced with the program.
"Careful, Miss Skylar," Smith cautioned. "You wouldn't want to-" he dipped her, "lose count."
"You wish Smith," Dylan spat back, coming out of the dip into another quick three count and then a spin. Their dancing quickened, becoming faster and faster as the program tried to make the girl slip-up. "I will beat you. I wont let you hurt my friends."
"Ah, how touching," sneered the agent. "But you will find such a thing easier said than done. I am a program. I do not get tired. But you...you are only human."
So, while Dylan and Smith were...dancing, Neo was getting smacked around by a red-head with a herring.
WHACK "Ow!" WHACK "Hey-" WHACK "-little-" WHACK "-help?" WHACKWHACKWHACK.
"I'm sorry Neo," Morpheus stated somberly, "but we cannot help you."
"But...you're just standing there!" Neo had finally figured out that if he dodged, the fish would not hit him.
"Yes, well, we're...supervising."
Meanwhile, back at her dance contest with Smith, Dylan decided that this was all really pointless and that exposition sucked.
"Neo!" she yelled. "Throw me the brownie!" The One did so and she caught it in one hand while blocking an oncoming attack from Smith with the other. Briefly using her super mad kung fu moves to actually fight the agent, she finally managed to put him in an arm lock while grabbing his very stylish tie.
"You cannot win Miss Skylar," Smith stated, attempting to bring back the horrible exposition. But Dylan ignored him.
"Do you know what happens when you give someone who's not plugged into the Matrix something that takes them out of the Matrix?" she asked. Smith looked at her blankly. "So do I." She then force fed Smith the brownie...something that will not be described in detail, and he exploded in a puff of smoke and light and confetti. "Natalie, I'm so glad you're safe!" Dylan exclaimed. Her friend was holding her herring in a threatening manner while looking at Neo, but snapped out of it to give her rescuer a hug. "Are you alright, Natalie?" Dylan asked.
Natalie looked around at the ruins of her home, the rubble, the flames, her family sitting perfectly unharmed on the lawn where they had been the entire time. She looked at her friend, tears in her eyes.
"They shot my herring!"
It was at this moment that Neo got a call. "Hello? ...Yes. ...How'd you get this number? Oh, ok. Yeah, we'll be right over." He hung up the phone and calmly put it back in his pocket before looking up to realize everyone was staring at him. "Oh, that was your friend Robert. He says there are agents at his house...a lot of agents."