(Author's note: I do not own Super Mario Land I, II, or III, or the characters in them, such as Wario, Mario, Captain Syrup, ect. They
are all copyright under Nintendo.)
"Get him!" urged Captain Syrup. Her massive genie servant obeyed, hurling two arcane blasts at Wario. Wario kicked the genie's
lamp. It landed face up, and a cloud puffed from it. Hopping over the magic ball streaking his way, Wario leaped onto the cloud. He
used it as a trampoline, and he bounced up and over the genie's head. He landed on his head, and the genie's form wavered. The
genie disappeared. Captain Syrup plummeted to the ground, numb from her defeat. Wario pounced on the lamp, cackling in triumph.
At long last, the dreams of a castle, in his grasp! For so long he dreamed of it. He even stole Mario's castle while Mario was away
in Sarasaland.* Mario came back, and despite Wario's best efforts to keep his new treasure, Mario dethroned him. Wario still smarted
from his loss. Now someone else felt his pain, his shame, and his humiliation. Captain Syrup wobbled, and picked herself up. She
turned blazing eyes to him and...
RING-RING
Wario fumbled for his cell phone,"Hey?"
"Hey, Wario." his brother, Waluigi.
"Zup, Waluigi?" Wario asked.
"Playing tennis with Birdo and Bowser. Bowser's real pissed off Super Mario Land III's not about him."
Wario shook his head. "Man, don't he got a dozen games starring him?"
"That's what I said, dog. He threatened to kick my ass...in tennis. So whaja doin?"
Wario slid his gaze to Captain Syrup who was powdering her nose. "Fighting this bitch Captain Syrup," He watched Captain Syrup
turned an ugly shade of red, shaking her fists at him. "Hey, did you know when she shakes her fists, her boobies jiggle?"
"Word? Whats her didgets?" Waluigi asked.
Cursing, Syrup lit a huge bomb. "I'd love to see little bits and pieces of you scattered about," she sneered. "And you'll pay for that
comment about my breasts!"
"Wait, Syrup," Wario shouted, but she already hopped off screen. "Oh shit," he blurted,"I gotta jet,"
"But-" Waluigi began, but Wario shut off his phone. He spied a box with a smiley face and he jumped on it. Wario was magically
transported to safety from a huge explosion. He watched as Syrup's hideaway crumbling, the earth rumbling beneith his feet.
Shrapnel flew in his direction, and he ducked behind a tree until he heard no more explosions. Tenatively, he peered out. There,
under the proud sun's light, stood the Princess Toadstool statue!
Wario jump up and down, "Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh baby!" he shuffled his feet, grooving, luck had
finally chosen to bless him. He was too busy celebrating to hear a low rumbling from the distance. Visions of gold and jewels and
food, all the things he would gain from the ransom money. A castle and cash to fill it. Life was good...
The rumbling had turned out to be a helicopter. Wario looked up, in amazement as Mario saluted him, attached the cables to the
Princess Toadstool statue and fly off with it. What did Wario care, anyway? He had cash, a lamp and a dream.
He chose a nice spot to rub the lamp. Two puffs of smoke wafted from it, and revealing itselfto be the massive genie he
had battled. But this genie...looked anything but aggressive. "Greetings, Wario. I'm a genie in a bottle gotta rub me the right way,"
Wario purpled. "Hell no. I don't swing that way,"
The genie sniffed,"Don't flatter yourself. You're not my type." he crossed his legs, examining his fingernails. "You got a single wish,"
he announced,"So choose carefully,"
Wario's mouth dropped,"Hold on a second, man. You're telling me I got a SINGLE wish when genies are supposed to give THREE?!"
"New company regulations," the genie said, pulling a book, named the "Genie Handguide" out of thin air. He flipped around to a spot
in the book, and read,"'Receiving party, that's you, will receive one new wish, by the grantee, thats me'" he closed the book.
"Fine, I wish for three wishes," Wario smirked.
The genie flung his book to the floor,"Damn, everbody always gets by the one wish rule. They should make it illegal to wish for more
wishes," the genie held out his hands three times, murmuring ancient, lyrical words. "You've got your wishes,"
"Can't I wish for more wishes?" Wario asked.
"No," exclaimed the genie. "Just pick something, anything but more wishes,"
Hmmm.....what did he want? Jewels? He could always steal some. Money? He could always steal some more. Revenge on Mario
had a very nice ring to it. He thought of asking the genie to turn Mario into a pile of dogshit, but realized the whole point of Super
Mario Land III was for him to get a castle. Didn't he nearly kill himself just to get one? Still, what a great, wonderful way to get even
without breaking a sweat...
"Genie, I want a castle," he shouted.
The genie peered down at him,"A castle? Got any cash? The more moolah you give me, the better your castle will be,"
"WHAT?" Wario shouted,"You want ME to give you MY money?" he put his hands on his hips,"I thought genies did things for free!"
"Look Wario, do you think I live in a lamp for free? I've got bills to pay!"
"On second thought, I'll just steal Mario's castle again," Wario turned around.
"Wait!" the genie shouted,"Why dont you give me the cash and you can wish for a bigger horde?"
Wario pivoted,"A bigger horde, you say?" he inquired, dripping avarice. Wario tossed his check to the genie, who caught it.
The genie waved his hands three times, after a flash of magic, said,"There you go." his form became wispy. "I'm outta here,"
"What!" sqwaked Wario,"I thought I had three wishes!"
The genie pulled out his handbook, flipping to a page,"'In the rare case of multiple wishes,'" he read. "'The genie has the option to grant
the wish, depending upon how he or she feels towards the grantee,"' the genie stared hard at him," You are a pompous, greedy
little troll,"
"And you are a bloated fag!"
"Bloated fag!" shrieked the genie, encensed. "How dare you call me a fat cigarette!"
"Your hat looks like a cigarette filter," Wario snapped.
"Oh yeah? Well your mama's so fat, she uses a chimney for a tampon."
"And you're so ugly, mice jump on chairs whenever you enter a room," Wario countered.
"Screw you, Wario,"
"No thanks. You might have rabies!"
The genie glowered, magic blazing in his hands. He restrained the urge to smite Wario. "Look....I'll grant the other two wishes so that
we may never see each other again,"
"You got yourself a deal," Wario said, grinning. "My first wish, is that you turn that jerk Mario into a shitstain on Bowser's underwear."
The genie nodded, "And the other?"
"That i want lots of beautiful slave girls," he noted.
The genie waved his hands,"Done and done,"
Wario danced, pimp style, as his gorgeous slave girls escourted him to his new castle. He opened the door, expecting his cash to
spill out of the sides, when one of them asked,"Hey....where's all the cash you were talking about?"
Wario screamed,"CRAP! I forgot to ask for money!" then he fainted.
The End
* part of the plot for Super Mario Land for Gameboy.
are all copyright under Nintendo.)
"Get him!" urged Captain Syrup. Her massive genie servant obeyed, hurling two arcane blasts at Wario. Wario kicked the genie's
lamp. It landed face up, and a cloud puffed from it. Hopping over the magic ball streaking his way, Wario leaped onto the cloud. He
used it as a trampoline, and he bounced up and over the genie's head. He landed on his head, and the genie's form wavered. The
genie disappeared. Captain Syrup plummeted to the ground, numb from her defeat. Wario pounced on the lamp, cackling in triumph.
At long last, the dreams of a castle, in his grasp! For so long he dreamed of it. He even stole Mario's castle while Mario was away
in Sarasaland.* Mario came back, and despite Wario's best efforts to keep his new treasure, Mario dethroned him. Wario still smarted
from his loss. Now someone else felt his pain, his shame, and his humiliation. Captain Syrup wobbled, and picked herself up. She
turned blazing eyes to him and...
RING-RING
Wario fumbled for his cell phone,"Hey?"
"Hey, Wario." his brother, Waluigi.
"Zup, Waluigi?" Wario asked.
"Playing tennis with Birdo and Bowser. Bowser's real pissed off Super Mario Land III's not about him."
Wario shook his head. "Man, don't he got a dozen games starring him?"
"That's what I said, dog. He threatened to kick my ass...in tennis. So whaja doin?"
Wario slid his gaze to Captain Syrup who was powdering her nose. "Fighting this bitch Captain Syrup," He watched Captain Syrup
turned an ugly shade of red, shaking her fists at him. "Hey, did you know when she shakes her fists, her boobies jiggle?"
"Word? Whats her didgets?" Waluigi asked.
Cursing, Syrup lit a huge bomb. "I'd love to see little bits and pieces of you scattered about," she sneered. "And you'll pay for that
comment about my breasts!"
"Wait, Syrup," Wario shouted, but she already hopped off screen. "Oh shit," he blurted,"I gotta jet,"
"But-" Waluigi began, but Wario shut off his phone. He spied a box with a smiley face and he jumped on it. Wario was magically
transported to safety from a huge explosion. He watched as Syrup's hideaway crumbling, the earth rumbling beneith his feet.
Shrapnel flew in his direction, and he ducked behind a tree until he heard no more explosions. Tenatively, he peered out. There,
under the proud sun's light, stood the Princess Toadstool statue!
Wario jump up and down, "Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh baby!" he shuffled his feet, grooving, luck had
finally chosen to bless him. He was too busy celebrating to hear a low rumbling from the distance. Visions of gold and jewels and
food, all the things he would gain from the ransom money. A castle and cash to fill it. Life was good...
The rumbling had turned out to be a helicopter. Wario looked up, in amazement as Mario saluted him, attached the cables to the
Princess Toadstool statue and fly off with it. What did Wario care, anyway? He had cash, a lamp and a dream.
He chose a nice spot to rub the lamp. Two puffs of smoke wafted from it, and revealing itselfto be the massive genie he
had battled. But this genie...looked anything but aggressive. "Greetings, Wario. I'm a genie in a bottle gotta rub me the right way,"
Wario purpled. "Hell no. I don't swing that way,"
The genie sniffed,"Don't flatter yourself. You're not my type." he crossed his legs, examining his fingernails. "You got a single wish,"
he announced,"So choose carefully,"
Wario's mouth dropped,"Hold on a second, man. You're telling me I got a SINGLE wish when genies are supposed to give THREE?!"
"New company regulations," the genie said, pulling a book, named the "Genie Handguide" out of thin air. He flipped around to a spot
in the book, and read,"'Receiving party, that's you, will receive one new wish, by the grantee, thats me'" he closed the book.
"Fine, I wish for three wishes," Wario smirked.
The genie flung his book to the floor,"Damn, everbody always gets by the one wish rule. They should make it illegal to wish for more
wishes," the genie held out his hands three times, murmuring ancient, lyrical words. "You've got your wishes,"
"Can't I wish for more wishes?" Wario asked.
"No," exclaimed the genie. "Just pick something, anything but more wishes,"
Hmmm.....what did he want? Jewels? He could always steal some. Money? He could always steal some more. Revenge on Mario
had a very nice ring to it. He thought of asking the genie to turn Mario into a pile of dogshit, but realized the whole point of Super
Mario Land III was for him to get a castle. Didn't he nearly kill himself just to get one? Still, what a great, wonderful way to get even
without breaking a sweat...
"Genie, I want a castle," he shouted.
The genie peered down at him,"A castle? Got any cash? The more moolah you give me, the better your castle will be,"
"WHAT?" Wario shouted,"You want ME to give you MY money?" he put his hands on his hips,"I thought genies did things for free!"
"Look Wario, do you think I live in a lamp for free? I've got bills to pay!"
"On second thought, I'll just steal Mario's castle again," Wario turned around.
"Wait!" the genie shouted,"Why dont you give me the cash and you can wish for a bigger horde?"
Wario pivoted,"A bigger horde, you say?" he inquired, dripping avarice. Wario tossed his check to the genie, who caught it.
The genie waved his hands three times, after a flash of magic, said,"There you go." his form became wispy. "I'm outta here,"
"What!" sqwaked Wario,"I thought I had three wishes!"
The genie pulled out his handbook, flipping to a page,"'In the rare case of multiple wishes,'" he read. "'The genie has the option to grant
the wish, depending upon how he or she feels towards the grantee,"' the genie stared hard at him," You are a pompous, greedy
little troll,"
"And you are a bloated fag!"
"Bloated fag!" shrieked the genie, encensed. "How dare you call me a fat cigarette!"
"Your hat looks like a cigarette filter," Wario snapped.
"Oh yeah? Well your mama's so fat, she uses a chimney for a tampon."
"And you're so ugly, mice jump on chairs whenever you enter a room," Wario countered.
"Screw you, Wario,"
"No thanks. You might have rabies!"
The genie glowered, magic blazing in his hands. He restrained the urge to smite Wario. "Look....I'll grant the other two wishes so that
we may never see each other again,"
"You got yourself a deal," Wario said, grinning. "My first wish, is that you turn that jerk Mario into a shitstain on Bowser's underwear."
The genie nodded, "And the other?"
"That i want lots of beautiful slave girls," he noted.
The genie waved his hands,"Done and done,"
Wario danced, pimp style, as his gorgeous slave girls escourted him to his new castle. He opened the door, expecting his cash to
spill out of the sides, when one of them asked,"Hey....where's all the cash you were talking about?"
Wario screamed,"CRAP! I forgot to ask for money!" then he fainted.
The End
* part of the plot for Super Mario Land for Gameboy.