Mercy

The sound of fists hitting the bag is loud and rhythmic in the silence of the room. The only sound is the pounding of the fists against the bag and the pounding of her heart. She wipes the sweat out of her eyes and feels the burn of her muscles but she ignores it. She keeps pounding, hoping she will either pass out or be able to ignore the pain. She pushes herself praying for relief, praying for a way out of this misery. The last six months had been the worst of her life, pretending it was ok, pretending she didn't want something as much as she wanted her next breath. She kept pace with the furious pounding of her heart, needing to make it all stop.

She felt the change in the air and knew without turning who it was. She didn't want to turn, didn't want to see, but something inside her forced her, as if she were a moth to a flame. Her eyes slid to him and she was shocked again by him, his light. It seemed to come from inside him and damn it hurt her eyes. She turned away and focused again on the bag. She pounded it harder and kept up a steady pace, hoping he'd get the point and go away. Jace had other plans.

The bag pulled free of her pounding fists and quicker than she could blink her fists were caught in one large hand. He tugged and Clary's hands were against his chest locked in one giant paw as his other one locked around her lifting her and pulling her against him. Clary closed her eyes for a moment wanting to just enjoy the moment, the feeling of him against her. She'd been starving for it for months but hadn't wanted to give in. The pain around her heart wrapped around her tighter and she felt the breath come shorter in her chest as the pain cut through her.

The revelation that they were brother and sister had devastated them both and Jace had left for Idris the next day, neither of them knowing what to do with the stray feelings that swamped them. Clary had wanted him with every breath but she hadn't seen him in months. She'd watched him walk away from behind a column and had wanted to beg him to stay, if only so she could be near him, but she hadn't if only for her own sanity. Somewhere inside her she'd hoped that he'd come back, had dreamed about it, but he hadn't. He had moved on completely, including an engagement to the perfect shadow hunter.

A sob tried to break free from her throat but she bit it back. She would be damned if she'd let him see that he had broken her, he and that bitch fate. She opened her eyes and glared at him focusing all her attention on channeling hate into her gaze.

"get off me." She said in a scathing tone as she pulled back and glared at him. "I don't' want to hurt you." She struggled against his grip but found it hard as iron. "Wouldn't want to damage your perfect face for the wedding."

"No" he said in a firm low voice, "not a chance."

She glared at him and did what came naturally, a survival instinct. Everything in her screamed to get away like a wounded animal and she head-butted him hard. Her skull connected with his and he growled in pain as his hands released her. She felt the pain but pushed it away as she slid to the floor and walked away as quickly as possible, she had to get away from him. She had to get away from New York as soon as possible, no way in hell she was going to stay and watch him marry someone else. "I warned you." She said on a tired sigh as she grabbed her towel and reached for the handle. "leave me alone."Her heart hurt and she wanted so many things, she wanted him, but he was out of her reach and it was killing her. She reached to pull the door open when she was slammed against the door hard. Her arms were pulled up and pinned to the door and her body was pinned by the hard hot one behind her. Clary breathed hard, practically sobbing as the feel of him brought it all back. She could no longer hide or pretend that it didn't matter. The months apart had changed him, made him harder, more solid and he seemed to be everywhere around her. She could feel the his warm breath on her neck and she felt the pain rip her open.

"That's the problem" he said softly as he fit his body perfectly against hers "I can't."

To be continued…