Author's Note: The recent discovery of classic episodes of Sesame Street on Netflix kickstarted a flood of nostalgia – Ernie's Bert-tormenting antics, endearingly trippy cartoons and songs I haven't heard in 20+ years yet remember lyric for lyric as soon as the music starts.
One such song is "People in Your Neighborhood." a sticks-in-your-head-but-in-a-good-way gem, sung by dear old Bob and various Muppets. There's the grocer, the doctor, the fireman, the postman, the baker and a host of well-meaning others.
But how about the people you meet in the neighborhood when you're a bit older? Who are they? And more importantly, don't they deserve a song too?
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Disclaimer: For parody purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.
People in Your Neighborhood: The Adult Version
Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood?
In your neighborhood?
In your neighborhood?
Say, who are the people in your neighborhood?
The people that you meet each day
...
See the hipster in his skinny jeans
Sipping drinks brewed from organic beans
Such a snob he makes you want to gag
Or hit him with his own man bag
...
'Cause the hipster is a person in your neighborhood
In your neighborhood
He's in your neighborhood
The hipster is a person in your neighborhood
A person that you meet each day
...
Oh, the panhandler reeks of hash
Yet he hopes that you will share your cash
Look away, or spare a buck or two
Will your conscience tell you what to do?
...
'Cause the panhandler's a person in your neighborhood
In your neighborhood
He's in your neighborhood
The panhandler's a person in your neighborhood
A person that you meet each day
...
And the hipster is a person in your neighborhood
...
Well, they're the people that you meet
When you're walking down the street
They're the people that you meet each day
Who else lives in the neighborhood? Stay tuned… (And if there's anyone you want to see, please let me know.)