"Mr. Bigglesworth where are you?" cried Dr. Evil. He looked everywhere for his precious little kitty. "Number 2! Number 2!" he shouted desperately.
Number two entered Dr. Evil's room. He saw the pathetic figure of Dr. Evil sobbing with his face hidden on his pillow.
Number 2 cleared his throat loudly so that Dr. Evil would know of his presence.
"Go away!"
"But you called for me. Dr. Evil."
"Oh, silly me; I forget," said Dr. Evil, rising from his bed. "Did you by any chance saw me crying."
"Uh...no Dr. Evil."
"No?"
"No."
"Good."
"Fine."
"Right. Number 2, there is an emergency I want you to take care of."
"If it's Austin Powers I've already taken care of that. I sent Mustafa to---"
"Never mind Austin Powers! There are more important things in life than constantly following and consequently failing to kill your arch nemesis. Not that it isn't fun..."
"Dr. Evil---"
"Silence, you insolent fart!"
"I beg your pardon?"
"'Insolent fart'. I'm trying to start a new trend you know. The pinky on the lips thing is getting kinda old. Don't want to be uncool, you know. Chicks dig cool." he said, his pinky resting on his lower lip. He gently put it away hoping that No. 2 didn't see it. "You think I'm hip, No. 2?"
"Yes, Dr. Evil. Very hip."
"Good. Anyway, I want you to find Mr. Bigglesworth. He's been missing all day. This morning I went to give him his Meow Mix--- You know Meow Mix right?" He sings: "I want chicken... I want liver..."
"Yes, yes Dr. Evil I know the song."
"Are you sure? I can get the piano if you want..."
"Dr. Evil I think you should check if your son Scott knows anything about Mr. Bigglesworth's whereabouts. Yesterday he said, and I quote: 'That's it! I've had it with you freak.' Uh, 'freak' means you. ' I'm gonna get your cat and nail it to the ceiling.' Then he pointed at the cat and said 'I'm going to get you pussy...cat.' "
Dr. Evil thought for a moment and finally said: "No, I don't think it was him."
"What about Frau Farbissina?"
"No."
"Mustafa? Mr. Plum?"
"No! And don't insult my intelligence. That's one of the characters from Monopoly for crying out loud!"
"Clue, Dr. Evil."
"Now your quoting Blues Clues!? I will not tolerate your insolence No. 2! That's it. Gimme your best shot," said Dr. Evil as he jumped from side to side jabbing in the air, trying to look as dangerous as he could.
"Dr. Evil, really..."
"What? You a chicken? Come on. I dare you. Gimme your best shot."
WHACK!
After Dr. Evil regained consciousness he went to Scott's room.
"What do you want, you mutated weirdo?" yelled Scott over the heavy metal music.
"I want you to tell me where you hid Mr. Bigglesworth!"
"What are you talking about?"
Dr. Evil quickly slid under Scott's bed and tried to see if there was any sign of Mr. Bigglesworth underneath the big pile of dirty magazines and Metallica bootlegs. Scott grabbed his old man by the legs and tried to pull him out, but Evil hung unto the bed's legs and wouldn't let go.
"Get out of there, freak."
"No! You have Mr. Bigglesworth and I won't let you harm him."
"I don't have your stupid cat! Now will you stop acting like the loser you are and get out of here?"
"Fine." said his father standing up with his dignity intact. "But don't be surprised if your Limb Bizkit concert ticket disappears." And he went out of the room, his evil laughter making Scott wanna hurl.
"Him stealing one stupid Limp Bizkit concert ticket?? Who cares right Fred?"
"Right," said Fred Durst as he stepped out of Scott's closet, holding tightly a bald feline.
To Be Continued...