My Husband: TV Show Host, Father, and Moron
Chapter 1: Doctor's Orders
Well, thanks to the court appointed psychiatrist, I have to start this online diary to keep my you are wondering what I am doing in court, I was trying to get a divorce from my husband. You know, the crazy and cheap tv show host of the "Total Drama" series? Chris freaking McLean? If you are wondering how I'm related to him, I can tell you have his IQ level (one of the many reasons on why I was trying to get divorced!). I'm Christine McLean, his first and third/current wife. It's complicated and I'll explain the "wife" thing later. Where was I? Oh, right! I was ranting about my dislike towards my husband. That self-centered (insert bad word of choice here)! He even endangered our children (and my step-child) for his own personal gain! Again, I'll list my children and step-child some other time. I'm still peeved off that Chris somehow convinced me not to leave. Again! Maybe I should stay with Snooki at the shore for a bit. Ugh, I should have listened to my parents. He's a bad influence, they said. Stay away from him, they said. Sigh. Well I better let you know a little more about me.
My full name is Christine Riley McLean. My maiden name is Crock. I am an only child unless you include my cousins Katelyn, Pandora, and Zara. They were around most of my life and practically lived with me since their dad didn't really pay attention to them. Heck, their dad didn't even know their names. He called them Kiwi, Pancake, and Zucchini. Bonus points if you can guess who had what nickname. Anyway, I was born to Chrissy Smith and Christian Crock on September 23, 1977. If you do have my husband's IQ, I'm 35 and had my oldest child who is 17, at the age of 18. I use to have a job but thanks to my "hubby dearest" and the RCMP constantly being after him, I had to quite my job to take care of the kids. I have blond hair, grey eyes, pale, thin, and around 5'4. No you may not ask about my weight. Have your parents taught you nothing?
In other words, I'm my husband's complete opposite personality and look wise. I love my family, heck, I love that narcissist (insert another bad word) of a husband! But I love my children more than anything, explaining why I'm writing this in the first place. You see, I tried to get a divorce from my husband for second time this year, but apparently in Canadian court, you can't get a divorce because you claim "He is driving me insane and had done so for years" and not having any evidence doesn't cut it. So the court ruled I get some help before that happens. So I am writing this online diary to vent to complete strangers. Though that's better than bottling it up and then setting the house on fire (one of my daughters had done it before but for a different reason).
So people reading this, I will tell you what it is like living with and raising the children of Chris McLean for as long as the Canadian court deems necessary.
Hello people! Thanks for reading this and I hope you enjoyed it. I know no one like Christine. She is based off of an idea my younger sibling and I had on what Chris's wife would be like. I love the show and I'm not trying to bash Canadians if I accidentally insulted you. I own nothing except for Christine and her family. Everything belongs to their respected owners.
Christine: Leave me a question and I'll try and fit a few in on my next diary entry.