Disclaimer: I actually own this charrie and co-own the story he goes to. Therefore, all rights and everything concerning him belong solely to me. Karei Asagao. Aka Kar Ala AL. So there in j00r face! I don't even need this disclaimer XD mua ha ha. (It's not against the rules to fanfic your charries is it? I mean, j00 can be a fan of your own hot bishie guy right? RIGHT! Kidding kidding.)

This is something I came up with at 2 am while bored and going through rp withdrawal and thinking about various conversations with various people and fantasizing about new ways to antagonize poor dead Haa-san. This question Laur asked popped into mind and me being bored decided to do this long and dorky thing. If ya'll's got's any problemo with that I don't know what I can tell you - c'ept maybe- go eat those prettily colored mushrooms over there, or go suck an elf.

Interview with Hatori Ame-

Answering the question: why doesn't Tori'san show affection to- or even seem to love his own offspring?

IN a little of shade room in the bowels of the Ferewood Mansion. . .Teen with purple streaked hair sits down in a white whicker chair holding a clipboard.

Clock: 'Tick tock ... tick tock... ticktock....'

. Minutes drag by...

... He's late. Thinks the Purple haired teen interviewer to her lonesome self. But of course, what else could I expect. -Sigh, eye-roll- Well I suppose I might as well make my self comfortable. I may be waiting for a while. The teen sat back in her white wicker chair and put her feet up on the glass coffee table.

Half an hour later

A tall handsome man with black shoulder length hair and steel gray eyes strides in. There's a lock of gray/silver hair above his right eye.

The purple haired teen is fast asleep clutching her clipboard, her mouth open and catching flies.

The man smirks to himself and stalks silently towards the girl, coming up behind her. He positions his hands above her head, at the ready, and after a quick pause, brings them together in a loud 'CLAP!'

The girl leaps up startled and disoriented. "What! What!" She spins around, only to be shoved back down in her seat.

"Sit. Make this quick. I have places I'd rather be." Say's the man.

"Of course." Sighs the girl, miffed. "And for future reference a tap on the shoulder will to the trick just fine."

The man ignores the comment and takes a seat across the table from her. He leans back in his chair looking almost bored. "So what has the great 'goddess' Kar have need to ask me? I thought you knew everything about my person. You created me after all, did you not?"

"You're a mystery even to me. . . Which I admit is sad. " replied Kar with a lopsided frown and a shrug. "I'm here to interview you. Our -cough-imaginary-cough- readers always have questions."

"What if I only feel up to answering one?" Hatori asked folding his arms and putting his feet up on the coffee table carelessly.

"Then I ask only one for today and come back another day." Kar answered simply. "By the way, I just wanted to say- Hatori, I'm sorry I killed you- no hard feelings right? I mean, I even miss you- and ... almost even regret killing you. You're cool with that right love?"

Hatori just looked at her.

Kar: oo -gulp- "Alright... on with the questioning then, I guess." Hatori raised his chin a millimeter or so to show he was ready. "First question: Do you love you children?"

"Do I what?" Hatori looked at her with surprise.

"You're children. Do you love them?" Kar repeated.

"I heard you. I just didn't expect such an obvious question." Said Hatori. "They're mine aren't they? Why wouldn't I love them?"

"... Well... you never show them any ya know- like, affection, or anything. Towards them."

" 'Affection'?" He looked puzzled.

"Yeah- 'Affection' I mean, you're all like 'you're here because I got it on with your mother one night and didn't use protection.' " Kar said.

"And...?" Hatori moved his index finger in a circular motion. " So. ..? That's exactly what happened what's your point?"

Kar stared. "0.0 didn't you want them? How can you be so nonchalant! These are your kid's we're talking about! Where's the love? -goes into south park mode- You bastard !"

"Vampire- remember? I thought I was shooting blanks." replied Hatori cooly. "Next thing I know I'm a father. A 237 year old first-time father with powerful, fast-growing super babies as kids. What was I supposed to do? Shower them with kisses? They'd have bitten my face off with their baby fangs."

Kar: thinks about it ". . . Well... yeah but-... -sigh- okay, you've got a point there. But then why didn't you do anything to you know, like bond or something with them?"

"What would I have done? They were talking by the time they were a week old, and already hunting for themselves. Both litters preferred being around Rem- flocked to her; was I supposed to take them away from their own mother? I don't know what to do with kids- they don't know what to do with me. We would have ended up having a staring contest until something distracted them and they left me in the dust to chase after that."Hatori shrugged and said simply, his hand made a careless wave in the air to emphasize this.

"But-" Kar was cut off.

"But what? Look I think I did the best I could given the circumstances, don't you think? I saw to it they got a good, well rounded education. Saw to it they were cared for. Granted I wasn't always around, but that wasn't my fault-" he cut himself off, looked up at Kar and gave her the start of a snarl. "That was your fault- your 'ingenious' plot working. I'll never forgive you for that void incident."

"Eh-heh" -nervous laugh- "That's all in the past, it's done, it's gone, it's over with. Can't we just move on? . ?"

Hatori fixed her with a look.

"Ahem You were, uh- saying?" Kar prompted, to bring the subject away from dangerous waters and hopefully back on target.

Hatori knew exactly what she was doing be pretended he didn't. "Well, in any case, my being gone so much when they were growing up wasn't my fault. But at least I was always around in some way/shape/form or another for them. And I always helped them whenever they came to me in a bind."

Kar gets up. "I'm really sorry- but I really, kinda need to do this."

Hatori: "oo do what?" -shifts nervously-

Kar: -star glazed eyes- "MUA HA HA!"

Hatori: -gulp-

Kar: Launches herself into air -GLOMP!- " Ah, the bishie goodness!" -strokes petrified Haa-san-

"What in all hells brought this on! Get off me evil creator woman!" -throws Kar off-

"T-T Aww! I couldn't help it!" Kar whined. "I've been staring at you all this time, trying to stay on topic, and you're sitting there all hot and yummy looking and you've been dead so long and all my rp friends have been busy and I'm bored and- and I HAD A LOT OF CHOCOLATE EARLIER! What'd you expect? You can't put me on sugar high and stick hot bishies in front of me and expect me not to do anything!" Kar picked herself up and started crawling towards the now greatly disturbed Haa-san. "Come on! Just one tinsy insy winsy ittle cuddle! That's all I want!"

"Like hell." Hatori backed up.

"Pleeasssee?" Kar was at his feet.

"Will it get you to knock this off? Do you promise to bring me back so I can be with Rem again?" Hatori decided to try and get something out of this. It wasn't the first time he'd used his body to get something he wanted. -looks up- What? You think we guys can't play that card either? I have no shame!

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want." Kar agreed,

"Alright." Hatori sat and opened his arms to her.

D! Kar leapt on him and snuggled into his chest. "w ah... this is more like it." Kar snuggled some more then D mua ha ha, that's right vampire. Sit with your false sense of security. You don't suspect thing do you?

Hatori, up till now had been letting Kar cuddle him, sitting patiently. But, at the Kar's evil plotting smirk said. "Did you forget I can read minds?"

Kar: D – 0.0 – . "D'oh!" "Then I better do this before you can stop me!" Kar brought her hand down on Hatori's thigh.

Hatori: OO -feels something sharp and pointy-

"Take that!" Kar had stuck him with something.

"What did you just shoot me with?" demanded Hatori.

"Specially concocted vampire truth serum!" Replied Kar triumphantly.

Hatori: -- "oh crap. "

Kar got off Hatori and returned to her seat, taking up her clipboard again. Looking quite pleased with herself. "Now I can ask you whatever question I want and you have to answer me truthfully!"

Hatori pulled the needle out of his thigh, a slight wave of euphoria swept over him as he started to feel the effects of the drug. "Aren't you supposed to administer the drug BEFORE you ask the questions- not after?" asked he asked looking at Kar with an expression that said 'you are so dumb, I think that purple dye job somehow had an effect on your brain.'

Kar: Oo "Oh yeah..."

"Yeah." Hatori sighed, he started feeling sluggish and yet oddly light. Like all his cares had suddenly gone away and all he had to worry about was ... string. String? Yes string, what an interesting concept string was. He undid his right shoelace and picked it up. He tangled his fingers in the shoelace, then stared at it.

Kar stared at him funny. "Um- Hattypoo? Love? You feeling all right?"

"Don't call me that." replied Hatori sounding distant as he continued to play with the shoelace. "I should be really pissed at you."

"Eh-heh. I put you through a rather lot haven't I?" Kar was tense. Hatori unpredictable under the best circumstances, who knew what he'd do now. Maybe I shouldn't have drugged him... without restraints...

"Got that right." He'd read her thoughts again.

"Right Well um- mind if I ask you some more questions?" Kar attempted to change the subject.

"I'd really rather you didn't. But you're going to anyway aren't you?" Hatori made a cat's cradle with the lace.

"Yep. Pretty much."

"You know I could get around the whole truth thing by simply not saying anything right?" he went on from the cat's cradle and made numerous other more complicated intricate designs.

"You won't." Kar stated confidently.

"And how do you know that?" Man this drug was good stuff, he felt like he was on cloud nine.

"Cuz you won't think things through or censor yourself when your high."

"Say's who?"

"Says your creator who was with you at that concert where you drank from that group of stoned dudes."

"Oh yeah..." Hatori smiled. "I'd nearly forgotten about that. Good times. . .Good times. Remember that girl I did that thing to afterwards?" he laughed his quiet almost non-existent laugh.

"O.e yeah... unfortunately I do. Um, I was thinking more along the line of me asking you the questions."

"Ask away. I'm smarter than you. You won't get through." Hatori leaned back in his chair, reclining.

The end.

XD XD! Did I get you going? Bet you thought I was going to continue, but I just cut it off right there! Mua ha ha. All ph34r my awesome awful writing-ness!

This may or may not be continued. Mainly I started to get bored. I bet y'all did too. I know it's not the most interesting read. But it kept me occupied for a bit.

Later allz. ;)