Wrong Warriors of Light
By:
Saslyax-chan
Rated: K+
Genre: Adventure, Humor
Summary: Final Fantasy I: The Warriors of Light aren't exactly the heroes everyone expects them to be.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy.
Wrong Warriors of Light
You may assume that the four Warriors of Light possess the purest and bravest of hearts. They are kind and humble and any other trait people often associate with heroes. They show courage, save the world, and live the rest of their happily-ever-afters as unknown heroes.
You assume wrong.
Really, only one of the young warriors comes close to fitting into this cliché category.
A young Warrior, who eventually grows into a strong Knight, is branded the leader of the group. As a child, his mother tells him fantastic stories about the brave Warriors of Light. She even goes as far as telling her son that he will one day grow into a hero, since he has one of the famed Crystals in his possession.
His noble traits, adventurous soul, and kind heart, are eventually believed to belong to the rest of the warriors. In some tales, it is believed that the entire group consists of four Knights that are pretty much carbon copies of each other.
This story is false.
The Warrior has a thrill for excitement and adventure; he often goes out to explore the surrounding wooded area to hunt weak monsters. Without him, the world would still be trapped in an endless cycle of chaos. He is the one that gathers his three beloved friends and coerces them into joining him on his journey, so they can make his bedtime story a reality.
Dressed in billowing, black robes and a hat to keep the sun out of her eyes, the Black Mage is the first warrior recruited for his noble plight. She never cares much for a leadership position and easily follows the Warrior as he explains his new plans for adventure; she is completely hooked when he promises her that she can learn more advanced spells if they leave their sheltered homeland.
She is quiet and reserved, and many people are even lucky to hear her speak two words, never mind full sentences. Whenever she speaks, one knows it is important. The Black Mage chuckles, "Those poor monsters."
The Monk is much harder to recruit. He is more practically and realizes the journey will be difficult. The Monk thinks it just might be too much of a hassle and an annoyance to trot after his friend. He only agrees to join if the Warrior can beat him in a sparring match. The Warrior has a 10% chance of beating the more trained Monk.
Unfortunately, this fight happens to be one of the few times the Warrior manages to defeats his friend. The Warrior suggests that his friend should consider buying a sword for their journey, for better attack power.
The Monk shrugs, "It's much more rewarding destroying things with my bare hands. This way, it's all me. I refuse to hide behind fancy weapons and heavy armor. Besides, it's too much fun slowly choking the life out of you instead of lobbing your head off."
The final member is a White Mage. With everyone else following the brave Warrior, she's simply forced into joining them. The Warrior refuses to leave a single one of his friends behind. He practically carries her away while she sighs in defeated protest.
She, perhaps, has the most important role out of the group: it is her responsibility to keep everyone alive and healthy. Though the constant, "Hurry, cast Protera!" or the "Use Curaga, already!" gets pretty annoying. She doesn't like it when the Warrior barks out orders, especially since he's the one that made her tag along. She'd much rather sleep the day away instead of casting spells left and right.
Sometimes, she is tempted to simply stop casting Raise. It's not like the group carries Phoenix Downs. They can barely afford a single Potion since most of their Gil is spent on the best looking armor the Warrior can get his hands on. Tents and Cottages are nonexistent in their inventory, while inns are a rare luxury. Everyone calls on her to heal them, and she feels so used.
She is always the first to protect her fellow magic-wielder, and is sadly forced into healing the reckless Warrior that always jumps in front of an attack to save his fellow friends from certain death. The Warrior usually covers the Monk, while she covers the Black Mage.
In the beginning, the Warrior loves protecting his friends. However, after he spends all of their Gil on a shiny, new set of armor, he fails at his shielding job. The Warrior refused to get a single scratch on his new armor.
The White Mage is upset at the extra magic she has to waste on healing her lightly armored allies. When the Warrior faints against the Earth Fiend, she refuses to cast Raise on him. The Warrior learns his lesson after that; his experience gain is forever lagging and stunted compared to the rest of his team.
Side quests are a pain in their ass; however, the Warrior enjoys completing every request people ask of him. He can't refuse to help a friend, even if he's just met them. The rest of the group sighs and follows as they get sidetracked, again.
Three of the Warriors of Light, groan as they rescue a princess, retrieve a magical eye, awaken a sleeping Elf, retrieve a Levistone, unearth an airship, earn a Rat's Tail, learn a pointless language, and the list goes on.
On even worse days, the four Warriors of Light will explore dungeons blind. The Knight happens to be out of commission due to a stray Sleepra spell. The Master takes charge and proceeds to get them lost; it gets even worse when the Black Wizard tries to assist. The White Wizard curses herself for not learning Exit.
Being around the same people, for too long, can drive a person insane. The Black Wizard doesn't always handle this stress very well.
Luckily, for the rest of the group, the Black Wizard usually takes out her rage on the lesser mobs that often attack them. On bad days, she casts Blind and watches them stumble around uselessly, or laughs when they fall prey to her Confuse and grins when they slaughter each other. On her more impatient days, she simply casts Flare and watches the poor creatures disintegrate in a marvelous explosion of death.
Late into their journey, the White Wizard breaks down. She decides it is finally time to splurge some of their meager funds. She is sick of casting multiple Poisonas on the Master since he seems to be the only one dying of poison left and right in the midst of battle. She's sick of being the parties healing bitch! So, she buys a Ribbon. The Knight and the Black Wizard have to restrain the protesting Master while she craftily ties the ribbon into his hair.
The Warriors of Light will forever be remembered in tales of magic and fantasy. They repaired the time loop of chaos, killed the four Fiends, and slaughtered Chaos, when they traveled two thousand years into the past.
The demonic form of Garland finally falls limp, after a long and gruesome battle. It is only after the battle, the four Warriors of Light realize, they have altered the future. When they go home, not a single soul, but themselves, will remember their heroism. There will be no fame or fortune, when they return.
The Knight laughs it off. They've done a good deed and returned peace to the land.
Only three of the Warriors of Light return home.
End of
Wrong Warriors of Light
I just recently beat Final Fantasy the Anniversary Edition for the PSP. Yeah, this is a rather silly fic that was inspired after I decided to name the Warriors of Light after my friends and me... It made some of the annoying parts of the game tolerable. Yeah, well... these were some of the thoughts racing through my mind when I was lost in dungeons or annoyed with the millions of random encounters.
Just in case anyone is confused, the White Mage/White Wizard, Black Mage/Black Wizard, Warrior/Knight, and Monk/Master are the same. It is the title of their new class after they upgrade and retrieve the Rat's Tail.
I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for reading!
Posted: 8-11-11