Disclaimers: I don't own anything except for Hope, Faith and Dustin.
Author's Note 2004/03/12: Chapter completely revised. I tried to kill every misspelling and grammatical errors but I'm not sure that I won the final battle.
Memories
Chapter 1: The pain
She is finishing washing the dishes, looking out the windows, feeling sorry that winter will soon take over. Today is her twenty-fourth birthday; no one has wished her happy birthday, which is probably because nobody knows when her birthday is. Actually, no one even bothered to ask when her birthday is. Trying to put back the sadness overcoming her, she remembers the previous summer when she has gone to every festival that her new city had to offer. Montreal is a big town filled with events all summer long.
The first week of June was the Beer Festival, the last two weeks of June was the Jazz Festival where bands played in the street and everywhere there is people walking in the street. Then there is June 24th and July first, which are like American's Independence Day.
In July it's 'Just for laugh' festival, followed by the festival 'Les francophies' presenting French singer.
Later in August there is 'Les Fêtes Gourmandes' where all kind of international food is served.
September, kids go back to school, summer is over but the weather is still very hot.
October, people start to decorate their house for the upcoming Halloween. Orange lights are everywhere with black cats and skeletons hanging.
November, the weather drops, one day it's hot and the following day winter's close. Everything is grey; Halloween lights are taken off, replaced by Christmas lights that won't be lighten up before December.
Summer was great, all the activities almost made her forget about the day that changed her life completely. The door bell rings, interrupting her thinking. She walks over to the front door to open it.
"Happy birthday Leigh!" a cheerful little girl exclaims while wrapping her small arms around Leigh.
Lowering on her knees to level with the little girl, Leigh sees happiness in the little girl's purple eyes, "Aren't you supposed to be in bed by now?"
"I was but then I figured it out!" says the little girl, proud of herself.
"What have you figured out Faith?" Leigh asks, curiosity burning in her turquoise eyes.
"That there must be a good reason why you've been so sad in the last couple of days. Then I realised that if no one would remember my birthday I would be really sad. So when was it?"
Trying to fight the tears coming to her eyes, Leigh whispers, "Today."
Faith turns around to face the door and screams, "Mommy, mommy! I was right! It's today!"
Then Hope, Faith's mother, appears in the doorway, carrying a cake with pink candles. With a sympathetic smile, Hope says, "You should have told me Leigh! I'm sorry I didn't know. Make a wish!"
Tears start to fall down Leigh cheeks, "I don't have anything to wish for anymore!" She sits down on the floor and cries.
Faith looks at her mom with confused eyes then she hugs Leigh and gives her a kiss. Faith says with her small voice, "Remember, I love you. Don't be sad, you're much more beautiful when you smile! I'm going to let you with my mom, I'll go to bed."
Hugging the little girl back, Leigh whispers, "I love you too honey. Sweat dreams."
"Faith, tell your daddy not to wait up for me!"
"Okay!" Faith starts walking back to her own house which was only two doors away.
Hope waits at the door for her child to safely inside her own house before she closes the door. Looking at the beautiful young woman that is crying, she levels on the same level as Leigh and suggests, "Why don't we go to the kitchen and we'll have a cup of coffee." Silently nodding, Leigh follows Hope in the kitchen. Hope makes some coffee, fills two cups, and sits down in front of Leigh, "I know it hurts, I know you have a past but I also think you should not shut it out. You need to talk about it."
"I just want to forget all about my past."
"Why? Was there only bad memories?"
Giving Hope a small smile that never meets with her eyes, Leigh answers, "Actually, they're all good memories. That's why it so hurtful because I don't have anything anymore!" Putting her head on the table, she cries when she feels Hope arms around her.
Taking a deep breath, Hope says very firmly, "You need help Leigh. Life is not always pink, but you have to find happiness anywhere you can and hope for the best."
"I just don't have anything to be happy about anymore."
"What about Leila? Don't you think she isn't enough of a source of happiness?"
"Yes and no."
"I know, she's a link to your past and you can't be fully happy about her but do you really think that she deserves to pay for a past she's not responsible for?"
"No, I love her, I cried when she was born, she fills me with wonder but it's just that looking at her, I see her father."
"Who is he?"
"He's no one anymore."
"You have to talk to someone? You know my door is always open, come and talk to me anytime. I'll be there."
Then for what seems like hours, Hope hugs Leigh until she falls asleep. Hope is a very skinny woman, with long red curls and big purple eyes, but she is a person with a lot of strength, even more for the people she cares about. She takes a deep breath, takes Leigh into her arms to put her to bed. She covers this young woman tenderly and whispers, "I hope one day you have enough faith in me to talk."
She leaves the room, rinses the cups of coffee, and opens Leila's bedroom door to go check on the baby. The baby is asleep, making sure the baby is well covered, she locks the door on her way out.
A month later, Hope's thirty-fourth birthday party
Sitting at the table with Leila asleep in her arms, Leigh analyses this family that welcomed her as a part of there own a little over a year ago. Faith is smiling at her mom with that sparkle of life in her eyes. Hope's husband, Dustin, is looking at his wife with amazement and adoration in his green eyes. Hope is just like always, beautiful her purple eyes filled with love and happiness.
Leigh thinks about the last year and a half. What would she have done without this family that simply loved loving? She remembers the first time she met Hope, it was during her first day in Montreal, and she was extenuated as she sat down in a park looking at children play when she had started to cry…
"I'm sorry Miss, I don't like to see people cry, can I help you with anything? Are you lost?" asks a little girl with long blond hair.
"No." Leigh cries even harder.
"Would you like me to give you a hug, it always helps when my mommy holds me tight." Leigh doesn't have time to answer because the little girl wraps her arms around her making Leigh cries even harder. When she calms down, an older woman is sitting beside her and the child.
Letting go of the child, Leigh hears the woman say, "My name is Hope and this is my daughter Faith, I know it's cliché but I liked it."
"I'm Leigh; do you let your daughter hold stranger often?"
"Only when I feel that the stranger needs to have a little faith." Leigh looks at the woman and before she can answer, the woman takes her in her arms saying, "And I think you need more than faith so I'll also give you a little hope."
She did receive a lot from them except faith and hope. Hope looks at her asking, "What's wrong? I just saw your eyes going from content to cloudy."
"I was just thinking about how much I owe you."
"That was free. Don't worry about it."
"Hope, Hope!" screams Leigh as she walking inside Hope's house.
"What's wrong Leigh?"
"I'm pregnant. This can't be happening!"
"How pregnant are you?"
"At least five months." Hope looks at her and says with a lecturing voice, "Don't you know your cycles but now?"
"Yes, but I never though that I was, I never really though about it since I came here. I don't know what to do!"
"You don't have many options now. You're having a baby."
"But I don't want to, not without my mom!" and Leigh starts to cry with Hope holding her and letting her cry.
"We'll be there for you. Don't worry about it."
"Hope, please come, I don't feel great, I need you!" Leigh screams on the phone.
Two minutes later Hope is right beside her, one hand on her stomach and discreetly checking the clock. After some sweat talk, Hope says cheerfully, "I'm calling the hospital, you're having a baby!" Leigh starts to cry, she doesn't want to go through this alone, Hope suggest, "If you want me to, I'll be there all the way." Leigh just nods as a big contraction passes around her belly.
Twenty hours later, Hope looks into Leigh eyes and whispers "Take a deep breath and then push as hard as you can."
"I can't, I'm too tired, I don't want to have that baby, and I just want things to go back to normal." Leigh cries.
Hope knows the feeling because she felt it while in labour but she orders with a lot of authority, "You're almost there, now PUSH!" and Leigh pushes, then she screams.
While Leigh is still pushing, she hears a baby cry. She still feels the baby coming out of her when the nurse puts a purple sausage on her stomach. All Leigh can say is, "It's not a baby! I don't want that thing!" and while nurses cleans Leigh up she looks at Hope who's holding a beautiful sleeping baby in her arms. Leigh wonders 'Is it mines? Can life be so wonderful?'
Looking out the windows, Leigh sees the first snow of the season, looking at Hope, she says, "Mom always says that magical things happen in the snow."
"You mom is a very wise woman. I'd like to meet her someday."
"Hope, I'm leaving, I have to."
"What are you running away from this time? Don't you know that time will catch up with you? You better turn around and face your fears."
"I'm running to my past this time. I think I need to feel the closure of the pain to be able to live again."
"Will you come back?"
"I don't know?"
"Will you keep in touch with us?"
"If I forget, seek for Lorelai Leigh Gilmore in Stars Hollow. I have to go back there; I have to figure things out."
"Go Lorelai, I just want you to feel again."
Starting to cry, Rory formally known as Leigh says, "I could never forget you so I'll call you."
Author's Note:
Every comments is always appreciated.Siaram