Dane Soar
Originally "Rose Pricks of Blood Red" (so melodramatic sounding).
Before this was a six chapter story with very short chapters. However, in an effort to touch this story (which I wrote quite a while ago) I made it one rather long one-shot and changed the name. I hope you enjoy this revised version and please review.
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Most demons, if you asked them if they could void their emotions, wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about. But some very, very, old demons would lean closer to you and inquire extremely seriously where you heard of that. After all, it's supposed to be a lost technique. Very few demons can pull it off.
Specifically one.
Me.
Or not me, exactly, as I was still in the form of Youko, if you wish to really be technical. I figured out back then, over several hundreds of years, how to create a place in Spirit World outwardly so small no one would notice it and drain emotions into it at important moments when I needed total concentration.
When I became reborn and gained the name Shuichi I had to wait until my energy returned sufficiently before I could begin to drain away, but by the time I had turned ten I had regained enough to begin once again.
People have always wondered why I was so calm. How could I be anything but that when a simple prick of a finger would send those troublesome feelings away to a place that I no longer had to worry about them? That's all it takes, one drop of blood and the access to my void is open.
Sounds far too easy, doesn't it?
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"All right, these weaklings are goin' down!" Yusuke yelled as the crowd of rather low level demons ran toward us, very intent of killing. A pitifully small crowd. They couldn't be much more then twenty. How did they manage to cause so much trouble just by sneaking into the human world?
In the lead, Yusuke leveled his glowing finger at the roaring mass. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kuwabara summon his Spirit Sword holding it out in a pose that was obviously supposed to look heroic. At times, he can be amusingly foolish.
But there was no posturing on Hiei's part; he simply popped his sword from its sheath as he stood on the other side of me.
I suppose I should… brushing back my hair swiftly I drew out my rose, the blood red rose. A fitting color considering its use, I believe.
"Let's go!" yelled Yusuke beginning his own charge toward the demons.
"Yea, time to get rid of this trash!" Kuwabara swung his sword dramatically running after. Hiei followed the two of them with a word and I after.
Apprehension picked at me, worry for the upcoming battle.
But apprehension, that won't do. I am the calm one, right? The irony does not escape me.
Time to shed those useless feelings and fight. Time to become who I am.
Or who I've become.
Empty.
Completely empty.
Gently I pressed my thumb on one of the thorns, as I've done so often before. One drop of blood. That's all it takes. All my void takes as payment. I felt a calmness flow through me as my emotions flowed away.
It's a wonderful feeling, as all your troubles fade away, everything narrows down to you and the enemy.
Calm. That's what I am right?
Calm.
Empty.
"Rose Whip!" I shouted out, flicking my wrist and raising at so that the whip would only partially trail on the ground. The others were already ahead and start the fight, I was about to aid them, then paused.
Looking down at my hand I saw that my Rose Whip was… still a rose.
What is this?
I flicked my wrist again, hoping that it would transform. What was wrong?
Blood splattered the ground.
What was this?! I raised my other hand to stare at it, on each finger the little scars from countless pricks bleed slowly. Dropping my rose I looked at my other hand. It too bled from each little old scar.
A prickle of fear ran through me, what was going on?
Fear! I thought that that was…
Confusion made me frown and ignoring the other's battle I continued to stare at my hands.
Confusion?! That emotion too should be gone! I shouldn't be feeling it! This should not be happening!
All the sudden feelings surged through me and I had the ominous feeling that perhaps after all these years my void is full?! No! But that cannot be!!
My void loomed in my eyes only, black and dark, I could no longer see the fight, only the darkness.
All of the things that I had drained into it so that I wouldn't have to face them were there…
And it hurt, hurt quit a lot, so much I fell to my knees, it felt as if it was my spirit being torn to shreds.
Which was true, in a way.
The full void demanded a final payment. For that, it took my soul.
I felt my almost empty body fall to the ground just barely, as if it was a long way away.
But then my vision became black as the void swallowed me, and it was all I could see from horizon to horizon.
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With a certain amount of malicious pleasure, Yusuke slammed his fist into the last demon's face, sending him across the old warehouse with a few less teeth. He turned, rubbing his stinging fist to grin at his team, "Man, his jaw's like a rock! I think I bruised my hand. I hate having to punch out ox demons, but they're so dumb there's not much else you can do with them."
Kuwabara looked around, counting the demons he saw out on his fingers (a slow affair, Kuwabara not being over-fond of math). "The toddler said there was almost thirty demons in this gang, so far it doesn't look like they'll add up to anywhere near that." he commented.
With a shrug, Yusuke said. "Okay then, keep your eyes open. And speaking of demons, where did Hiei and Kurama disappear off to?" He just barely caught sight of Hiei disappearing around the open door that they'd run through in the charge toward the enemy. Yusuke nodded at the door.
"Oh," Kuwabara said softly, and followed him through the door, but bumped into Yusuke when he stopped suddenly "Hey! Would you mind warning me before you…" he let his sentence trail off as he saw what had made Yusuke pause.
There was blood on the ground.
It wasn't the blood of the demons they had just finished betting the hell out of, though it was demonic. Lying full out, face down, was the missing member of their team. He didn't look well, his eyes were open but glassy.
Hiei picked up Kurama's arm to check for a pulse, though he seamed to have trouble finding it.
"Is he…" Yusuke was reluctant to ask.
"He's alive," Hiei said, a statement, not an opinion, "barely."
"Where did all the blood come from?" Kuwabara came to kneel beside the prone demon.
But Yusuke stayed by the door looking in on the scene carefully, taking in every detail, as it was the only thing useful he could do at the moment. If there was anything that could be done for Kurama here the other two could handle it, he'd probably just be in the way.
Genkai always told him. "You may be a dimwit, but you've a decent eye for noticing things," Which if anyone was wondering, is Genkai's idea of high praise.
And as he looked around the room he noted that there were no demon corpses in this room, that meant that it wasn't one of the demons that had gotten him, he probably would have taken at least one down with him.
Also, now that Yusuke looked back on the fight, he didn't remember seeing Kurama as they were fighting. The only assumption to make was that he'd been here the whole time. Which made sense, but then, how had Kurama gotten wounded?
There hadn't been any of the enemy in here, who had hurt him?
Unless his wounds were self inflicted. But that option he dismissed almost at once as impossible.
Which left him at a blank.
"Yusuke, look at this." Kuwabara said suddenly and he held up one of Kurama's limp hands. "he's really only bleeding from here," and he was right, small little wounds dotted his fingers. For such small cuts, they bled a lot. "What do you think happened?" Kuwabara wondered aloud.
"I donno, but I think we should get out of here, let's take him to Genkai's or something, we can come back later and clean up the ones that got by us."
Carefully, Kuwabara lifted Kurama. "Let's go,"
As they left, Yusuke glanced back and saw Hiei, who was still standing, staring at the blood on the ground with a frown, his face closed in thought.
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It was dark, very dark.
And yet somehow, I can still see.
It's strange, I don't understand it,
What is this?
Where am I?
Ah, wait, now I remember, my Void.
Slowly I opened my eyes, sitting up. I'm not sure how sense I don't know if I have a body here.
This place, this Void, it's a strange inside, odd that I've never seen all of something that I'm so dependent on. It was very like a large room, this Void, but the strangest thing here is the emotions it holds.
They manifest themselves as glowing strands that wrapped themselves around each other in a hypnotic dance of color.
I can tell them apart oddly enough, which one is hate, or fear, or sadness. There are a lot of them here.
In my Void.
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Wordlessly Hiei watched Kuwabara laid Kurama on a sleeping pallet in Genkai's temple.
"Do you know what's the matter with him?" asked Yusuke in a low mummer to the old lady. "we don't have a clue, he just suddenly collapsed in the middle of a battle."
Genkai "hmm,"ed and both withdrew from the room, talking quietly to each other for once not snapping at each other.
From were Hiei sat by the wall he watched Kuwabara pause to look down on the kitsune, then reached down to close the glazed eyes, after that, sighing he followed the others out.
Hiei rolled his eyes at the sentimentalism.
Once the room was empty he hopped off his perch, drawing close to the kitsune.
What had happened?
Not that Hiei really cared, of course, oh no, but if Kurama died he'd have no one to complain about the human's stupidity to.
With that excuse firmly in mind, Hiei examined Kurama once again.
The only wounds he had were superficial, merely scrapes, they should have healed long ago. But as he saw on closer inspection they were looked like tiny stab wounds and they still bled, strangely enough.
Stab wounds?
The only way he could think of to get so many was to grip something sharp and spiky. For example like the thorns on a rose vine, something that Kurama always has with him. Like puzzle peaces, the facts fell together, but one was still missing.
Why would he stab his own fingers?
Hiei sighed and settled himself cross-legged on the floor beside the sleeping pallet. He would have to ask Kurama, then.
Slowly he took the white cloth off the Jagan and opened it.
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The kitsune's mind was easy to enter, that in itself an odd thing, usually he kept strong complicated barriers and Hiei had trouble breaking through.
But he was empty.
It was if he was simply, not in there.
That was strange, Hiei had never seen a mind wiped completely blank before, and it was both puzzling and annoying.
There simply wasn't anything here and Hiei couldn't find something that might even hint as to what happened.
But then he found it; there was something there.
Hidden in the far corners of Kurama's mind was something, it was like an opening.
Or a hole.
Slowly he sent out a probe to see what it was and found the probe drawn toward it faster than he could cut the link. It was drawing him in like some sort of black hole or… no, more like a void.
And Kurama was in there somewhere.
He could sense it; Kurama was in there beyond whatever that was in his mind. The only thing Hiei could guess was that this was some kind of opening to…to something or other.
However at the moment, it was reeling him in at an alarming rate, closer and closer, and he couldn't close the Jagan; whatever it was would not let him!
Just when he was starting to lose control and it his real body was beginning to fall, when someone grabbed him roughly by the shoulders, shaking him so hard the Jagan snapped closed.
His eyes took a moment to focus on Yusuke's face as the Detective gave him another shake, apparently for good measure. But the interruption had luckily allowed his mind to slip free from the hold.
"What the hell were you trying to do Hiei?" Yusuke was angrily glaring at him. "I came in again to find you staring off into space and then you fell over!"
Hiei stood, snapping, "Don't touch me…" all the sudden for him the ceiling and floor slewed together.
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Then abruptly, amidst all of the despair and depression I felt something coming. No, not something, someone.
"Hiei?" my voice was only the softest of whispers, I barely dared to hope. He was coming closer to the void. But how could he find this place?
But then again if Hiei used the Jagan to find his way into my mind he could find his way through. There was a small link from my own mind to the Void, there had to be for me to be able to drain emotions into it.
Standing up, I made my way to one of the walls tearing into the hatred that twined in this particular patch, it was impossible to get through, but I had to warn him before he was drawn into my Void.
And then, there was no more hatred to claw through and my hands touched the wall of the Void.
I screamed and reeled back clutching my hands to my chest.
The palms were red and raw, burned by the Void's wall. Kneeling I felt the sense of Hiei disappear, my Void's hold on him broken.
And again I was alone with my fears.
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Now two demons slept on pallets on the floor.
Yusuke had managed to keep Hiei from splitting his head open when he fell but earned a stern lecture from Genkai about the right ways to break someone out of a deep trance, non of which included shaking them by the shoulders. She finished by telling him, after she was done calling him dumbass, that it was the recoil of being shaken out of Kurama's mind so roughly that had made Hiei pass out.
Yusuke was about to head out to see if he could talk to Yukina, on the off chance Kuwabara wasn't. Though Kuwabara always…
He sniffed the air. What was that smell? It was almost like… something burning.
Turning back to look in the room at both sleepers, Hiei seemed to be fine and Kurama also.
That was, until he saw that the skin of hand that Kurama had rested on the pillow was smoking gently.
"Genkai!" Yusuke yelled, running into the next room were the others sat, cups of that disgusting tea he hated, in hand.
"What is it, Dimwit?" asked the old lady getting to her feet as if she was years younger.
"Trouble."
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Slowly the old women wrapped the kitsune's hands in bandages with a frown.
"So what happened, Genkai?" Kuwabara asked. He too was frowning; no one in the room looked as if they weren't worried.
Genkai just shook her head. "Honestly, I really don't know."
Hiei was woken by someone yelling. "What do you mean you don't know?!"
He mentally promised decapitation to the person, then opened his eyes.
"Are those burns going to go away?" Kuwabara asked, leaning in more. He commented, "You know I coulda sworn he had longer fingers than that."
"Well, I coulda sworn that he had skin on his fingers too." Yusuke muttered.
As Hiei sat up, Genkai told him. "Before you even, ask you've been out for only a few hours. You have Dimwit over there to thank for that impromptu nap." she nodded at Yusuke and Hiei glared at him, but his heart didn't seem in it.
"What did I miss?" he asked in a voice that said he didn't care, though his body language suggested otherwise.
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So again, I am alone.
Sitting crossed legged on the floor I blew gently on my hands, oddly enough they didn't hurt as much now. The pain had dulled down to an icy numbness, I remembered Genkai having a salve that had a similar effect. Perhaps my body has been taken to Genkai's temple. Perhaps they are waiting for me to wake up. Perhaps they are wondering what happened.
It is hard to think of being trapped here forever. To think that I will never wake up again, never seeing Mother, never talking to Hiei, never fighting alongside Yusuke and Kuwabara. Never, ever, again.
Suddenly, something bloomed in me, slowly like a seed sprouting up to leaf out. I had realized something I never realized before.
I did not want to die.
I didn't want to leave the shambles of a life that I'd managed to find, that I had so often scrambled to keep together. There were people that I lived for, ones that I wanted to protect
Mother.
Hiei.
Yusuke.
Kuwabara.
Botan.
And the others too. I had never before cared about so many people. And if I was stuck in here that would be another never added to the list.
That emotion that had bloomed in me grew, seaming to fill me with energy and… I glanced down at the emotion clump that I'd unknowingly been sitting on… it was determination.
Determination to be free.
I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been, wallowing in misery and giving up.
If I did that, there was a good chance I would be trapped here forever, and that would not do. Wheeling around I scanned the walls. If hatred had burned me, maybe a better feeling would have a better reaction. The determination I stood on didn't hurt to come in contact with.
So what was the purest emotion?
Looking as hard as I could I couldn't find it until…there! It was a tiny patch of hope.
Reaching toward it my fingers, they easily sank into it.
But turning back quickly I scanned the walls again looking for something quite different this time. I was looking for the destruction thread for the Void.
And there it was, a little thread I remembered weaving into the wall, oh so long ago, when I created it. One pull and in a few seconds the Void would collapse in on itself.
I hadn't used it before because… because… because it might work, but on the other hand it might be suicide.
The fear around the thread made my hand sizzle again as I reached into it until I was able to grip it. One quick yank and I was running to the opposite wall, running for the patch of hope as the ceiling sagged overhead.
There was barely enough room to run as the walls also were closing in and just before I ran out of room, I made a wild dive for my one chance at escape, that one patch of hope.
Alone?
No.
I somehow, don't think I am.
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Genkai gave Hiei a summery of recent events that was so quick and to the point it took him a full second to digest.
"Yeah that's pretty much it," Yusuke commented. "nicely put Grandma."
"Hey guys," Kuwabara's voice had an odd tone to it. "am I the only one that feels that…?"
He was cut off as suddenly everyone else found out what he was talking about all at once.
And it hurt.
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I was alone in an eternity of darkness, of pain. The moments of tearing and slashing seamed to last for an eternity in the nothingness that was all consuming.
But some how I could still think clearly as if only part of my mind felt the pain.
Where was I? I hadn't the faintest clue, which was the problem.
But where is my body? I needed to get back to it or I could end up eternally a drifting spirit.
All I needed was a something to mark my position, something to brake through this blackness and show me the way back.
To bad it wasn't here.
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"Goddamnit, that hurt!" Yusuke growled from his place on the floor, were he'd been thrown by the shockwave.
Slowly Hiei peeled himself away from the wall he'd been slammed to, "Of course it hurt, it's the floor."
Genkai shoved aside the remains of the door that she'd been thrown through and reentered as the humans both scrambled to their collective feet. "Well, that was a big blowout," she snorted. "Is Kurama the same?"
They peered around the room, looking hard. Everything that wasn't fastened down had been slammed against the nearest wall… except for Kurama.
He lay as he was before, eyes open now, but still unseeing.
Kuwabara sighed. "So we're back to square one."
"Damnit," muttered Yusuke, "this would be a lot easier if we knew what the hell was going on." he glanced at Hiei. "So, midget, don't just stand there, hop to it."
"Shut up and go do something useful." Hiei snapped reflexively, as he took off the cloth covering the Jagan. It opened glowing and he looked again into the kitsune's mind.
"What do you see?" Genkai asked quietly.
Hiei hesitated, "… I see what Kurama is seeing."
"And…?" Prompted Yusuke.
Frowning he continued, "It's nothing, completely nothing."
Both the boys exchanged looks that said 'huh?'
"I thought so." Genkai murmured, "A Void. I bet that's what it was. Should have guessed."
Yusuke looked even more confused at this. "Would you to stop speaking in code and explain what's going on?"
"What's this Void thingy?" asked Kuwabara, who was as clueless as the Detective.
Genkai and Hiei exchanged annoyed glances for a second, then Hiei let his eyes focus again on what the Jagan saw. "You explain," he said simply.
Sighing a world-weary sigh as both boys turned to her, Genkai explained. "A Void of Emotions, Dimwits, is just what it sounds like. Somewhere the creator can drain their feelings into. It leaves the user unusually calm and clear minded, something I think you two could associate easily with Kurama."
"And so what happened was…?" Yusuke trailed off looking questioningly at Genkai for her to fill in the blank.
"Voids are notoriously unstable. Kurama's must have become full, as a final seal it took his soul and closed itself, trapping him."
"Oh, I get it. But the blowout, what was that?" asked Kuwabara.
Hiei refocused his eyes on the room and took up the explanation, "He must have collapsed the Void in on itself."
Yusuke looked alarmed. "But if Kurama was inside, wouldn't that have been something like suicide?"
He frowned. "Something like that." and on that bad thought he sought the kitsune through the Jagan.
There was no way Kurama could be dead. No, the kitsune was far too stubborn for that.
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But among the darkness, came a black light, like a dark star in the even greater blackness burning brightly.
Slowly I turned toward it, "…Hiei…?… is that you?"
The light took form, swirling into the shape of a small demon that I never knew I could be so glad to see.
"Who else would I be in a place like this?" snapped Hiei, shoving his hands moodily into his pockets.
I laughed in relief, and how good it felt to feel relief, to really feel it for once.
Glaring at me, Hiei nodded behind him. "Are you coming back? Or are you going to just stand there?"
I smiled. "After you, then," beside him in a moment, together we stepped back into my own mind.
It was good to be home once more.
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So while Yusuke questioned Genkai intently about this Void, Kuwabara glanced over at Hiei who stared into the distance with his Jagan open.
Abruptly he blinked, and the Jagan snapped closed.
"Hey, Shorty," I called over to him. "come up at a blank again?"
He sneered at him and got up going over to where Kurama was still laying. Reaching down he tapped Kurama on the cheek muttering. "Kurama, come on fox, wake up."
"I thought," said Yusuke surprisingly calmly. "that we just got done establishing that he wouldn't wake up."
The look Hiei gave him would have killed a lesser man. "As usual, you fools are several steps behind the times."
"What happened, Hiei?" Genkai slowly and a bit stiffly got to her feet, "Is he…?"
She stopped in the middle of her sentence, because they had all noticed one thing.
Kurama was awake.
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From the darkness to the light I went in a rush, following Hiei closely. When he disappeared, everything went black once again.
A few seconds later I realized that I was lying down. The renewed darkness seemed due to the fact that my eyes were closed, nervousness was tugging at me, apprehension too. It had been so long sense I'd felt these feelings. Too long perhaps.
I could feel a light tapping on my cheek. "Kurama, come on fox, wake up."
Hiei's familiar voice said from above me.
"I thought," Yusuke sounded surprisingly calm considering the circumstances, "we just got done establishing that he wouldn't be waking up."
I could imagine the look Hiei was giving him as he said. "As usual, you fools are several steps behind the times."
Slowly, I opened my eyes, feeling as if they were made of lead. Right next to me was Hiei, behind him I could see Kuwabara, with Yusuke not far from him, and farther back Genkai was standing up.
"What happened, Hiei?" she asked coming closer, "Is he …" Genkai had noticed I was watching with interest and trailed off.
"See?" Hiei sneered in an I-know-so-much-more-than-you way.
Kuwabara cast him filthy look.
Sitting up, I winced.
"You okay?" asked Yusuke.
Was I really? How, after all, could I go on after this without my Void? I was still nervous after all. Looking down at my hands, I studied the bandages on them slowly.
But I felt a small bit of happiness lurking under everything else. How long had it been since I felt happy, really, truly, happy?
Maybe I could go on, maybe things would be better this way.
Looking up, I smiled. "I'm fine, Yusuke. Just fine."
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The End