In a few moments, it will all be over.
As you cling onto the train you'll think back to your old life back in Brooklyn. Before the War, before the mess. Before the world became so goddamn complicated. You'll wonder why you were so eager to join the fight in the first place, why you were so desperate for a change. But you'll know you did well. You played your part.
You'll think of your kind mother cooking something sweet in the kitchen, a pink apron tied neatly around her middle, her auburn hair in a loose bun; you'll think of your strict father and the smell of his cigars and the glint of his glasses as he reads a newspaper by the fire. You'll remember your childhood. Growing up on the playground, playing in the sandbox, playing catch with your friends.
You'll think of when you started middle school and how the seniors were so mean. You'll remember entering high school and the strange looks and glances you got for being the weedy, unpopular guy's friend. You'll remember prom and the beauty you went with, and how lucky you felt at that moment. You'll wonder what she's doing now. Does she have a family? Where does she live? You'll remember graduation, standing side by side with your best friend, beaming proudly. The one who endured all the tests, all the harsh teachers, all the bullies with you. Is he really the one who is reaching out to grab your hand now? The one who calls your name? Is this still the same old Steve?
It is then that you'll decide that you lived a good life, even if the world is much different now. But that just makes dying all the worse, doesn't it? You'll be missing out on so much that is good. If life had been terrible, maybe you would not mind. You wanted to see the end of this war. "Am I being selfish?" You'll wonder.
You'll think back to the girl you met just a few months ago. Rose was her name. You wanted to see her again. You'll remember her smile, the smell of her perfume, the touch of her hand.
The tough wind will bite at your snow-covered fingers, and as you finally lose your grip of the train, you will plummet. It will seem like a life time for you, but in reality it will only last a few moments. You'll shout his name and hear your voice break. You'll see his face and a hundred words will jump to mind; scared, panicked, shocked… but none of them will seem to fit the expression you see.
And you will fall.
You won't feel the crack of your neck, the breaking of your spine, the jagged blocks of ice that will break you, tear through you. You won't feel the freezing rapids of the lake below when your body cracks down on the water's surface, when you sink into the black abyss. You won't feel anything in a few moments.
In just a few moments, it will all be over.