My aching body fell to the floor, tears running freely down my cheeks in torrents that had no intentions of stopping. What had I done? How could my whole world just turn upside down in one conversation? I felt like I was in a never ending storm. The burning in my throat was making it hard to breathe. How long could I stay like this?
But I was finally being honest with myself: I had told him. I was able to gather what little courage I had these days and tell him how I felt.
If this is what I had been wanting, then why did it hurt so much to let him go? I am free to be who I am and be with; who my heart was longing to be with; free to live my life the way I truly wanted to.
I stared straight ahead, not seeing anything. I could taste the saltiness of my tears as they dripped into my mouth. I couldn't feel anything anymore: I'm numb.
I'm not sure how long I sat at the bottom of the stairs; I'm not sure when the tears stopped running down my face; I'm not positive what time it was when he walked in and lifted me off the floor. I didn't complain, I just buried my head in the crook of his neck and inhaled his impossibly intoxicating scent.
This was my choice. He was my choice. I knew that now. The problem was just to get everyone else to accept that this is what I wanted.