This is a birthday fic for my awesomely talented friend and partner in crime iEvenstarEstel. When I asked her for a prompt, she simply told me what she liked (which I knew already of course) and then added "And you can throw in a coconut cupcake in somewhere."... so here goes, and Happy Birthday!
As always, if you enjoy, please let me know!
"Perfect!"
Abby pressed her hands and forehead against the shop window and gazed at the display. After spending the best part of three hours walking the length and breadth of the high street and its side streets searching for a gift for Connor's birthday, she'd found it at last.
Connor hadn't asked for anything; he never did, which made it incredibly difficult to buy anything for him at Christmas and for his birthday. Just for once, Abby would have liked him to have at least hinted if there was a new DVD he wanted. When pushed, Connor would answer that he already had everything he needed and would pull Abby into a kiss. It was sweet and romantic, but didn't solve her problem.
She'd passed the shop several times but it had never occurred to her to actually stop and look. The smell of fresh baked bread filled her nostrils and made her stomach growl in hunger, but it wasn't the bread that had drawn her to the window. The bakery had a display of cupcakes as a centrepiece, all different designs and each lovingly hand made. It was one in particular that had grabbed her attention - a delicate coconut sponge with a swirl of coconut flavoured icing on top and sprinkled with flakes of coconut. She knew she had to get it for Connor.
After she'd ordered a box of four, the assistant said she could gift wrap it if Abby didn't mind waiting a few minutes. She ordered a coffee and sat down at a small table to wait. A smile traced across her lips; if only this idea had come to her sooner. Finally she could fulfil the promise she'd made to Connor all those months ago during their early days of being stranded in the Cretaceous era. A promise made at a time when she'd finally realised what he meant to her...
…The scream sent a wave of terror surging through Abby's entire body; a wave so intense it almost made her heart stop as she gasped for breath. Momentarily frozen to the spot, she tried to compose herself before she dropped the fish she'd spent the last hour carefully stringing together ready for smoking and began to run as fast as she could in the direction of the scream.
She willed her feet to move swiftly and accurately. Being delayed by only a second because she'd stumbled could mean the difference between life and death. Her heart was racing now and her breathing hard. It wasn't a "I've accidentally blown up your hairdryer again!" kind of scream, nor was it a "I've fallen over!" distress call. This was real and terrifying. Connor was in danger.
Abby cursed herself for allowing them to become complacent. For the first couple of weeks here, they'd barely left each other's side. They'd kept a 360 degree vigil at all times and became each other's eyes and ears. Then they grew more familiar and confident with their surroundings and they began to allow the other a little breathing space. It hadn't felt necessary to spend every single moment together, and they'd decided that they would be more productive if they split the chores between them.
The path from the lake down to the clearing that was slowly shaping itself into their home was well worn now, and Abby knew every inch well. For that she was grateful since in her current state of panic she'd very easily have got herself lost if there was a moment of doubt.
After what felt like an eternity she reached the clearing where she'd left Connor this morning. He'd clearly left in a hurry since his tools were scattered on the ground along with some branches and vines. He'd been working on the roof of their new shelter, discovering that his nimble fingers that were used to speeding over a computer keyboard were incredibly adept at weaving a strong rope from vines that could be used to bind together and tie down whatever they needed it to.
"Connor!" Abby could feel her throat tightening and something stinging her eyes as she scanned the immediate vicinity for any sign of him. She froze again and choked back a sob when she realised other objects in their camp had been knocked over, as if there'd been some kind of struggle, and then she saw the patch of blood on the floor. A quick closer examination told Abby that whatever the blood had come from had dragged itself, or had been dragged away, in the direction of the thicket close to where the anomaly had been.
Abby followed the trail until she saw movement ahead. She could make out the un-mistakable form of a Raptor and it seemed to be eating something on the ground. Knowing it would be distracted she edged closer, desperate to see just what it was eating. She knew the possibility it was Connor was very real and the sight would probably scar her forever, but she also knew that she had to find out for certain. Relief washed over her as she got nearer; the Raptor was eating another. She wanted to believe that the scream she'd heard was the two of them having a fight; strong versus weak vying to be the alpha male, but it wasn't.
Perhaps Connor had seen the fight and screamed in fear then ran away? It didn't seem likely. She'd seem him face things far scarier than a couple of Raptors having a brawl and when she thought about it, he was probably the bravest person she knew. He wasn't a soldier like Becker, or a natural in the outdoors like Stephen had been, which made the things he had done all the more remarkable. That meant something else had happened and the fact she still couldn't see him or hear him scared her. Where was he? She couldn't call out for him because whilst the Raptor was oblivious to her at the moment, the second she made a sound or sudden movement it would be chasing after her.
A better vantage point was needed, and the safest place to be was up a nearby tree. As she shimmied herself up the tree trunk, she glanced down to make sure the Raptor was still enjoying devouring its kill. That was when she spotted Connor. She held her breath and watched his lifeless form spread out on the grass several metres from the two Raptors. She hoped he was simply 'playing dead' so that the creature would leave him alone, but he was doing far too good a job at it.
She was fighting back tears, determined that she wouldn't lose it until she knew for certain what Connor's fate was. Despite the words of a conversation they'd had only a few nights ago ringing in her head, she was not going to leave him. She couldn't remember them actually agreeing anything, but Connor had said that if one of them got badly injured, the other should try to save themselves. "No point in us both dying out here," he'd said. It did make sense at the time, but faced with that very situation, Abby couldn't do it. If there was even the tiniest chance that he was still alive, she was going to do whatever it took to try and save him. After all, she knew Connor would be doing exactly the same in her shoes, despite what he'd said.
From where she was, she reckoned she would be able to shuffle along the thick branch that hung directly over where the Raptors were. It would be the perfect spot, and as long as she took her time and aimed carefully, she should be able to drive her fishing spear into the back of the Raptor's neck. It probably wouldn't kill it, but it would give her time to jump down and go over to Connor.
The creature still seemed completely oblivious to Abby's presence as she slid along the branch and settled just above its head. She tried to remain calm, focussed purely on this one task and not on how badly injured Connor might be. She had to bide her time and wait for the right moment. One thing she'd learnt here was not to rush; taking a few extra seconds to compose yourself gave much better results. Taking a deep breath, she pulled back her right arm then surged forward and struck hard, piercing the back of the Raptor's neck with the spear.
The Raptor thrashed around, angrily screeching and lashing out towards Abby. Its jaws snapped only inches from her body and for a moment she feared that all she'd succeeded in doing was making it angry and setting herself up as its next target. Then it fell to the ground and was still. Abby knew it was merely unconscious, weakened by the blood loss, and she had to act quickly. She dropped herself down to the ground, landing on her feet like a cat and then running towards where Connor lay, still lifeless.
"Connor?" She placed her fingers to his neck and let out a huge sigh of relief. There was a pulse, feint but definitely there. His hands were completely red, covered in blood. She hoped that it, and the blood on his t-shirt, was from the dead Raptor that the other had been eating, but she knew deep down it was Connor's own blood. As she pressed her hand to his face, his eyelids flickered open and he let out a sigh.
"Abby?"
"Shh, don't try to speak or move. I'll get you away from here and then we can talk." She placed her finger over his lips, anxious that he would not be aware of where he was and would make too much noise.
"Save yourself, Abby," he breathed. "That's the agreement."
"There was no agreement, Connor. I'm not leaving you here."
Connor tried to sit up then yelped out in pain. Abby saw his eyes roll as he slumped back to the ground. "I'm not going to make it. Leave me here, you have to"
"No!" Abby grasped his hand and squeezed it tight. For a second, Connor held her gaze and she could see the terrified look in his eyes. He was getting weaker by the second, and she knew if she didn't do something soon he would slip away from her. "Hang in there. I can stop the bleeding and you'll be fine."
"Abby, please. You have to think about your own safety. Leave me!"
"I can't! I love you!" The moment the words left her lips, Abby felt an incredible sense of clarity for the first time in many years. She'd never allowed those words to come out before, fearing what it meant and that putting her heart on her sleeve would make it open to abuse. Yet they seemed to come so easily and felt so right. She did love Connor, and probably had for some months, but why the hell had she only realised that just as it seemed she could possibly lose him forever?
Connor opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He was still and his grip on Abby's hand loosened. Choking back the sobs she knew were coming, Abby gingerly placed her fingers on his neck to check for his pulse. He was still hanging on, but barely. She had to get him to safety and deal with the situation fast.
When she thought about it later, Abby had no idea how she managed to get Connor back to the shelter. For a skinny guy he was incredibly heavy and it had taken all of Abby's strength and resolve.
With her hands shaking, she began to try and assess the extent of his injuries. His shirt was soaked right through with blood and she hardly dared look, but she had to know exactly what she was dealing with if she was going to help him. The shirt was sticking to the wound where some of the blood was clotting. Abby figured that had to be a good sign; clotting meant the body's own natural defences were working and trying to create a scab to keep the wound clean. However, as she peeled the fabric away it became clear that the wound was too deep to simply heal on its own. Ideally it needed to be properly cleaned and stitched and under other circumstances she'd have had no hesitation in giving it try. Surely dealing with a wound like Connor's wouldn't be that different to some of the ones she'd dealt with on creatures in her care. It wasn't that long ago that she'd improvised out in the field to stitch up a wound on the Dracorex, but then she had the convenience of modern surroundings to draw from. She had nothing to work with here and the situation was beginning to feel completely hopeless.
There was only one option. She had to make sure the wound was as clean as possible by flushing it out with water and then try to cover it over as best she could to protect it from getting infected. Grabbing the large container of water they kept by the fire, she began to wash the wound. Focussing on her task kept her mind from other thoughts that she really didn't want to contemplate. Connor was still unconscious and apart from a slight flinch when she peeled the shirt away, he had barely responded to her.
"Connor, please! I can't do this without you!" She shook him, hoping he would wake up, but he remained still. Her head was spinning with a million and one thoughts. The sudden admittance that not only did she love Connor but couldn't be without him confused and scared her. Being alone had never bothered her before; in fact she had preferred it. It wasn't an option any longer; she was not going to let Connor die and leave her, and then she would make sure that they remained together.
She'd used the entire container of water cleansing the wound, and it looked pretty clean. However he was still losing blood and Abby knew she had to try and stop it. A thought suddenly hit her. Yesterday, Connor had cut several squares of thick moss that they'd found growing near the stream. He intended to use it on the roof of the shelter. "It'll keep the warmth in," he had said, "and it'll soak up any rain like a sponge." Abby ran over to the pile in the corner and took a piece of the moss. It reminded her of the turf she'd helped her dad lay once, except thicker. The piece, about 30 centimetre square, would cover Connor's wound adequately and hopefully help to stop the flow of blood.
After carefully placing the moss over the gaping wound, Abby took Connor's hand again and stopped to try and take stock of what she needed to do next. With her free hand, she stroked Connor's ashen face and willed him to get better. With the bleeding almost stopped, she had at least given him a fighting chance.
Night was beginning to fall and a chill was setting in. Connor was already cold and Abby's new fear was that if the night time temperature dropped too low, it would kill him in his weakened state. The fire they kept burning at the front of the shelter was for cooking purposes and to keep any predators at bay, it didn't really throw out much heat unless you were almost on top of it. Finding another ounce of strength from somewhere within, she managed to move Connor closer to the fire and hoped the heat would be enough.
She sat for a while, holding Connor's hand and watching the flickering glow from the flames dancing on his pale skin. It took her right back to the time not long after they'd first met when Connor had persuaded her to camp out in the forest in pursuit of a creature. He'd suggested huddling together for warmth, and she'd dismissed it as his very poor attempt at flirting with her. It wasn't that bad an idea though. He needed to keep warm, and so did she.
Carefully pressing herself against him, she settled her head on his chest and rested her arm around his waist. She thought she would feel at least some warmth from his body but he was much colder than she'd realised. That wasn't a good sign.
"Stay with me, Connor," she sniffed, feeling a stray tear trickle down her cheek. "You can't die! I won't let you!" The tears began to flow more freely and normally she'd be ashamed of herself, but she didn't care now. She wanted to feel Connor's arms around her, comforting her and telling her it would be OK, but all she could do was hold onto him tighter and let him somehow feel her warmth, protection and love. Her body brushed against the clump of moss and she froze. Would it hurt him too much if she stayed like this? At least the weight of her body would hold it in place and maybe help to stop the bleeding.
The last thing Abby remembered before she drifted off to sleep was snuggling against Connor, breathing in his scent and trying to commit the moment to memory in case this was the last one she'd ever have with him.
The sun rising over the horizon woke Abby some hours later. She sat up and stretched out the knots in her aching muscles then gave Connor a nudge, hoping he would wake too. He didn't stir and for a moment she feared the worst. However, she could see the soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, and his dry, cracked lips were slightly parted allowing the air to rattle out almost like snoring. She placed her hand on his cheek and noted that he felt a little warmer than he had done last night, and some colour had returned to his skin. It had to be a good sign.
Abby's stomach growled and she realised that she had not eaten or had anything to drink since yesterday. She'd used all of their supply of fresh water cleaning Connor's wound, and the fish she had been preparing yesterday would either have already been devoured by some scavenger or still scattered on the ground where she'd dropped them, inedible by now. There would be no fresh fish either since she'd not reset the lines. Dealing with her hunger could wait, but her thirst couldn't and she would also need to try and get some fluids into Connor as well.
"I have to go to the river," she whispered, squeezing Connor's hand. "We need water. I don't want to leave you like this but..." Her head felt heavy. If she left him and that Raptor came back he'd have no chance of surviving, but if she didn't get water he'd die of dehydration within hours anyway and she wouldn't be far behind.
"I won't be long," she called, summoning her courage and strength to drag herself away from Connor's side. She ran as fast as her feet would take her back to the river and first drank her fill before filling the container with as much as she could carry. When she returned to Connor, her first priority was to try and get some water into him. After a moment to think, she wondered if a trick she'd used with sick animals would work with Connor. Tugging at the sleeve of her hooded jacket, she dipped the cuff into the water until it was saturated and then allowed it to drip onto Connor's dry lips.
There was movement and Abby almost cried for joy. She dipped the cuff into the container again and then dripped more water onto his lips. His tongue darted out and he licked his lips.
"Connor?"
His eyelids flickered open and he tried to speak, but Abby pressed her finger to his lips. Taking his head in her hands, she supported him in her lap and then held the container to his mouth, encouraging him to take a sip of water. "Drink," she whispered, helping him to lift his head to drink more easily.
"How long was I..." Connor finally managed to gasp.
"All night," Abby tried not to let her emotions show, but her voice betrayed her. Connor looked at her, seeing the tears filling her eyes and raised his hand to her cheek.
"Abby?"
"You scared me! Connor, I thought I was going to lose you!" She moved her hand to brush his away from her, but as she connected she realised she didn't want to let it go. His fingers curled tightly around hers, and the relief washed over her. There was strength in his grip; he was going to be OK.
"You don't get rid of me that easy," he laughed, then cried out in pain. For the first time he noticed the patch of moss and pressed his hand on it. "It's just a scratch really."
"Your wound's probably going to take a while to heal. You should keep it covered like that for a few days to stop infection getting in. Actually, I should probably apply a fresh one for you." She moved to stand up, but Connor tightened his grip.
"Stay," he whispered. "A few more minutes won't make much difference."
"OK." Abby settled herself down beside him. They remained in silence for a few moments, Abby playing back everything in her head and trying not to think about how badly this could have ended. "What happened?" she eventually asked. She had to make sure nothing like this occurred again; she couldn't put herself through another night like the one that had just passed.
"I was on the roof," Connor began. "The Raptor... it was in the camp. I was afraid it would attack you if you came back, so I tried to lure it away by throwing clumps of moss to distract it. Lost me balance, didn't I, and fell off."
Abby closed her eyes. She should have been there. It would never have happened if she'd been looking out for him whilst he worked.
"It went for me," he continued. "That's when this happened." He indicated his wound and winced at the memory. "Then the other one came. Thought I was a goner, but they turned on each other instead and I managed to crawl away."
"Don't you ever do anything like that to me again!" Abby sobbed, giving Connor a shove in the shoulder and losing her fight against the tears she'd been holding back.
"Sorry," Connor mumbled, a little confused at Abby's unusual outburst. She shoved him again and then buried her head against his chest, choking on her sobs and grasping at his jacket as if her own life depended on it. Connor folded his arms around her and stroked her hair. Apart from when Cutter died, she'd not shown this level of emotion in front of him before and he wasn't sure how he should handle it. "Abby?" he said eventually when her sobbing seemed to have subsided.
"I'm OK," she sniffed, sitting up and pulling herself back together. "It was a long night, and I was afraid that... I was afraid you wouldn't wake up."
"Well, I have."
"Yes." There was a tense silence, the tension in the air thick enough to almost reach out and touch. With the immediate danger gone, Abby's thoughts turned to other concerns. She'd said things, realised how she really felt about Connor, but was it appropriate to act on those feelings here? Would having to deal with those kind of issues distract them from what they needed to do to survive? "I should get you that clean moss," she said. She hoped it would give her a few minutes to clear her head and decide what to do.
"It's fine, Abby," Connor replied. "But I do know what you can get for me."
"Anything," Abby smiled. She meant it. Right now, she'd give Connor the moon and stars if she could.
"I really fancy a coconut cupcake."
"What?"
"You remember those that Sarah brought in for her birthday? They were gorgeous! I had two because Becker said he didn't like coconut and Sarah didn't want it to go to waste."
"Connor, we're not exactly in a position to..."
"If you really do love me, you'd get me one." He grinned and then laughed as her cheeks began to redden with embarrassment. "I don't expect you to actually say the words again, once is enough. Sometimes actions speak louder than any words."
Abby knew she had two choices. She could deny she'd said anything; pretend that he must have imagined it in his delirious state – just like he'd done all those months ago when he'd said that he loved her. How different things might have been if she'd called him on it. Why was it so easy to say it when they thought they were about to lose each other, and yet when they had all the time in the world it was so hard? Or she could give in and actually admit that she wanted to be with him.
Actions speak louder than words, he'd said. Perhaps he was right. "A coconut cupcake will have to wait. You'll have to make do with this instead." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, softly kissing him. He let out a sigh and began to return the kiss and Abby sank into his arms, her head spinning. She realised that this was the first time he'd ever kissed her; she'd given him affectionate pecks on the cheek and then there was the kiss at the race track after she'd found out what he'd done to get Rex back, but he'd never once kissed her back until now. One day she'd ask him about why that was, but for now she was just revelling in what was essentially their first proper kiss.
When they finally parted, Abby felt like a giddy schoolgirl. Had she done enough for him to realise what he meant to her now? His actions certainly spoke of his feelings too and she liked it. "Now promise me, whatever we do from now on, we do it together. No more heroics, no more splitting the chores that take us away from each other."
"You're right, Abby." He squeezed her hand.
"Of course I am!" she laughed. The tension had lifted and a whole new chapter had just opened up for them.
"And you must make a promise to me," Connor said seriously. "If you still love me when we get home, you have to get me a coconut cupcake."
Abby felt her stomach twist into knots. She didn't believe in making a promise that she couldn't fulfil, and since she knew there was no way they'd make it back home this was a promise she couldn't keep no matter how much she wanted to. Connor looked at her with his big, brown eyes and she knew she couldn't let him down now. "OK," she said, taking a deep breath. "If we make it home, I promise that I will buy you a coconut cupcake to say how much..." Connor put his finger on her lips.
"That's all I need to hear," he smiled, then took her hand and kissed it...
… "Miss? Miss? I have your cakes." Abby looked up. The girl from behind the till had gift wrapped the box of cupcakes with a blue silk ribbon done in a large bow and had placed the box next to her mug on the table.
"Sorry, I was miles away," Abby said. Miles away, years away. She ran her fingers across the box and her heart began to pound hard against the wall of her chest. She should have done this long before now, but their homecoming hadn't been quite as they'd expected and then they'd been thrown headlong into the thick of things with the whole Philip Burton and New Dawn thing. There just hadn't been time to think about the simple things that mattered. She hoped Connor would remember the significance.
Slipping the box into her bag, she drank the last mouthful of her coffee and stood up. Connor would be home now and although it wasn't his birthday until tomorrow, she decided that she'd give him the cakes as soon as she got back. They could then spend all night and all day tomorrow allowing certain actions to speak the words they found easier to say these days.