I'm having a bit of writer's block while working on the story I have to write for my creative writing class (obviously, it's gonna be a high school AU Phan story, just with the names changed), so I wrote this short piece in the meantime. You guys loved Don't You Wonder, so I thought I'd take a crack at doing another fluffy phanfic. I wrote this in light of Dan and Phil's TATINOF films (aren't you just proud of our little squishes?). The song that inspired this is what I think is a perfect song to describe Phan, especially since I do pretty much believe that Dan and Phil are born for each other.

Happy reading!

How does one define love? If a person asked Dan that question prior to 2009, he wouldn't know how to answer it. To Dan of the past, love is a complicated emotion that he didn't understand the mechanics of. To Dan of the present, love is defined by a single word. Or, more precisely, one name.

Phil.

Out of the billions of people walking on this planet, what were the chances that his path would intertwine with Phil? For 18 years, his life has no clear direction. He roamed through Earth as merely another living specimen, breathing air and taking up unnecessary space. He believed that he didn't possess any talent he could use to contribute to the world and make a difference. He could have been a name with no significant importance on a birth certificate, high school diploma, and/or any other records that could easily perish in a fire. He could have suffered through the rest of uni and become a miserable lawyer questioning the choices he made and wishing he made different decisions.

But he isn't a miserable lawyer. His name isn't lost amongst a sea of other names. He did have a talent, and he wouldn't have realized he had a talent in the first place if it wasn't for the man that's sleeping peacefully under his colorful duvet.

Dan leans against the doorway of Phil's room. It has been a long day of editing their next Sims 4 video for their gaming channel. The emergence of the autumn season has brought days of pumpkin spice lattes, autumn-inspired scented candles, and red, orange, and yellow leaves drifting through the air and occasionally landing on their flat's windowsills. Today was a relatively casual day in their home. Aside from filming their video, they spent most of the day catching up with their favorite anime and TV shows and playing video games. It's now a quarter past 1 PM. While Phil is fast asleep, Dan remains half-awake. He too is on the verge of slumber, though the simple act of watching Phil sleeping is a sight that he has a need to look at before he goes to bed. Seeing Phil in a serene state stirs the warmest sensations in his stomach.

This is how it feels to have a lover that happens to also be your best friend. The road to get them to where they are today was challenging. Then again, nothing in life is ever simple. Dan's life was always a hodgepodge of events that he didn't intend to happen. If his relationship with Phil was simple, they probably wouldn't be known as Dan and Phil anymore. They would simply be Dan or Phil, and that's something for the internet to cause an uproar about.

Careful to make as little noise as possible, Dan closes the door behind him and tiptoes his way toward Phil's bed. He crawls under the duvet, scooting as close to Phil as possible so their pajama-covered knees are touching. Moonlight filters through the window blinds, casting a translucent glow on Phil's face. Dan smiles, burying his head at the crook of Phil's neck and his arm snaking around the raven-haired man's face. He inhales, smelling a hint of the Japanese Cherry Blossom shampoo that Phil bought from Bath and Body Works' online store. The faint aroma brings back fond memories of their trip to Japan. Dan recalls wrapping his arms around Phil's neck and kissing him under a Sakura tree when the camera wasn't rolling, a kiss that was a long time coming since their Manchester years.

The Manchester period seems like a lifetime away. He remembers long hours of Skype calls, childish pillow fights, and watching the fireworks on the London Eye on New Years Eve. He remembers the overwhelming emotions that struck his heart all of a sudden, the clarity that he desired something more from Phil. He remembers their cheesy confessions when they told each other "I love you" on Valentine's Day in 2010 while playing Crash Bandicoot. He remembers the same holiday tearing them apart because of the video-that-shall-not-be-spoken-of. He remembers falling hard and fast, floating on a cloud 9 for several months and crashing back to the ground with the realization that maybe what they had wasn't meant to be forever. And he remembers learning to be okay with that, because he couldn't handle the long periods of silence that lingered in their flat for months, choosing to let bygones be bygones and to try to restore their friendship.

But things are better now. Dan learned that maybe it should have been better for them to wait for a later time to pursue their relationship. Living in London strengthened their bond and brought them closer than they already were. As best friends, Dan didn't have to worry about buying the wrong gifts, because Phil will love anything that Dan purchases for him. He didn't have to worry about walking in on Phil putting on (or removing) clothes, because he has already seen Phil with absolutely nothing on. He didn't have to worry about being trapped in existential crises for days, because Phil is capable of pulling him out of them within 24 hours. Worries between average best friends didn't exist; they already experienced the stage of being more than friends.

And that's the thing about Dan and Phil. Everything about them isn't average. Nothing in their lives have ever been normal. After all, it isn't normal for best friends who became lovers, broke up, and went back to being best friends to hug for longer than a few seconds, cuddle with each other on their sofa while watching a movie, and stare at each other with secret longing. They ended what brought them the peak of their happiness, but it didn't mean that it was impossible for them to blur the lines between friendship and love again.

"Dan, go to sleep," Phil mumbles.

Dan chuckles. "Thought you were asleep."

"I was, until I felt you come to bed."

Dan inches his head back so his face is centimeters away from Phil. Phil's cerulean eyes stare sleepily at Dan, a lazy smile forming on the raven-haired boy's face.

"What are you thinking about?" Phil questions.

"Nothing in particular. Us, how I'm lucky to have you."

"Dan being cheesy? Is it a blue moon tonight?"

Dan rolls his eyes mockingly. "I'm being sentimental. Don't ruin the moment."

"I love when you're sentimental. So what about us?"

Dan leans his forehead against Phil's. "I'm just thinking how I'm happy that we're meant to be. After everything that happened to us, who knows where we could've been if we never met. I could've been stuck with a law degree that would make me bald before I'm 30 and you could've been a successful film maker with movies souring through the box office. But look at us now. We each have a few million subscribers. We wrote a book, did a stage show, and even have a song that topped iTunes charts around the world. If someone told me five years ago that this would happen to me, I probably would've laughed at their face and tell them to fuck off. Call me crazy, but I think we were born for each other. We were born to have shitty lives for the first two decades of existing and then someday meet and know that we need each other to feel complete."

"Dan, are you sure this isn't the blue moon talking?"

Dan laughs, snuggling closer to Phil. "No, this is me talking."

Beneath the duvet, Phil reaches to grab Dan's hand, clasping it firmly with his calloused fingers. "I'm not as sentimental as you are, but I can tell you that you are my perfect half. You make me happy with your control freak tendencies and Kanye West addiction. You're the weirdest person in my life, but we both know I can be just as weird. I used to be a bit afraid of being the strange kid with a fascination for braces and plushies and Buffy, but because of you, I've let those fears go and appreciate that no one can be me and I should be proud to be who I am. Even though there are foolish people who don't like the idea of us together like this, I don't even care because as soon as I look at your eyes, I'm completely immune to the hate. When I'm in your arms, everything feels right. You know how they say you need two halves to make a whole? I'm half empty when you're not around, but when we're together, we make a whole."

"Gee, Phil. I thought I'm supposed to be the wise one between us," Dan jokes.

"Hey, I can have my reflecting-on-the-universe moments!"

"Whatever, you spork."

They grin affectionately at each other. They've accomplished so much for the last seven years, both with their YouTube careers and their personal lives. They've made all of these memories together, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

Dan yawns. "Are we done talking? It's time I do what you told me five minutes and actually go to sleep."

"I thought you liked the pillow talk."

"I do, but my people need me."

"Aren't your people me?"

"Well yes… you get what I mean! Good night, Phil."

"Where's my good night kiss?"

"Phil, we're not five anymore."

Phil pouts, his eyes morphing into the familiar puppy dog eyes that always gets Dan to agree to his silly ideas.

"Oh, fine." Dan releases Phil's hand to touch Phil's cheek, his lips pecking on Phil's mouth before tracing the outline of Phil's bottom lip with his tongue. The kiss immediately deepens to a point where Dan feels as if he ran for his life from a giant moth once the kiss ends.

"Happy now?"

"Very happy." Phil kisses Dan's nose. "Good night, love."

"Night, Phil. I love you."

"I love you too, Dan."

Phil moves so his back lies on his bed covers, allowing Dan to rest his head on Phil's chest.

Dan closes his eyes, sleep finally consuming him.

He lives in such a random world, but as long as he has Phil, Dan will always be blessed that he was born for Phil.