title: the roommate equation (or, how to deal with your roommate and their dates)

characters: jeff winger, annie edison, britta perry, troy barnes, abed nadir, shirley bennett, pierce hawthorne

setting: apartment 303

pairing(s): jeffxannie, troyxbritta

word count: 655

There is nothing more awkward than dating amongst friends. Then, take those friends, toss three of them together as roommates, have yourself and a friend you used to have casual sex with be seeing two of previously mentioned roommates, and you've got yourself a real party.

The easiest way out the sheer awkwardness of it is simple. You do not want to be the first one caught doing the early morning tiptoe out of a bedroom. It doesn't matter where your destination is (okay, heading out the front door is kind of iffy), the simple thing is don't get caught. Easier said than done, considering the two actual bedrooms of the apartment face one another. Design flaw by the architects, or purposely placed there to torture future tenants? (Troy thinks so, even with Jeff constantly shooting the idea down. He's more inclined to agree later on when they crash into one another at four in the morning.)

Ground rules are quietly established. The bathroom is off-limits towards any activities other than the ones meant to be performed in there. Plus, shower sex is seriously tacky, and Jeff likes his shower much better. Annie agrees. Not about Jeff's shower, but about the shower sex (and yes, she likes Jeff's bathroom better, too). The kitchen (seriously, who does stuff in the kitchen?) goes without saying. People make food in there (Annie. Annie makes food in there). Living room is a big fat No, because have you seen how thin the walls of Abed's bedroom are? He's still very impressionable, you know, and may or may not have cameras set up for a new documentary he's working on (and he already has a sex tape of me and Jeff.

Wait, what?

What?

Ugh, yes. The living room is off limits).

Speaking of thin walls, this apartment isn't exactly sound-proofed, a conclusion drawn from many tapings of Troy and Abed in the Morning!: Nights, and certain people (not naming any names) just not being able to keep vocals to themselves at the most impromptu times. It makes breakfast the next day awkward, and sitting across from that person at the study table even worse.

So, if you're not studying, cuddling, or know how to turn the mute button on yourself and your significant other, then take the bedroom activities somewhere else (Annie has been seen around the apartment less and less lately, and it makes Troy kind of sad. Abed says nothing of it. Britta thinks it's kind of sweet how much they care about their roommate).

Shirley keeps her mouth shut about the whole thing, weird little pact included. Which is surprising, to say the least. Oh yes, there's the occasional hard look of warning (it's like Jeff has bulls-eyes on him), but other than that, she's been oddly subdued. She stops by the apartment, but only when invited, usually bearing gifts in the form of brownies or a new chocolate chip recipe she's been trying (one word: delicious).

The calm before the storm, Abed warns them one evening before melting into the shadows of the blanket fort.

Britta purses her lips. Troy looks confused. Annie frowns, upset. Jeff does what he can to appear unperturbed.

(They all know he fears Shirley more than anyone).

Pierce's opinion virtually goes ignored, and this is something that apparently doesn't sit well with him.

(Troy groans and says that it's like he's trying to replace Annie. Pierce acts blustered and says that that's preposterous. His chest is nearly big enough, and the last thing he wants is to be Jeff Winger's beard.

His big gay beard.

Because Jeff is gay.

...

Nevermind.)

So. Pierce is apparently on board.

This is something that's delicate, and needs to be handled that way (at least according to Britta). Troy thinks it's awesome (even though there are some days that he can't look Jeff directly in the eye). Annie agrees with them both, because once you get past all of those past things, they're all friends and they all love one another.

Jeff just wants to know why the hell dating has become to complicated.