Well, I broke. I just had to make one of these! So now without further ado, my take on the horrid, the imfamous, the brain-cell killing My Immortal!
Disclaimer: I does not own. This monstrosity is not mine.
Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) (Not funny) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) (We weren't the ones thinking it.) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. (She did a horrid job) U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! (I feel sorry for Justin. He has to go out with you.) MCR ROX! (*Insert random plug of your favourite band here*)
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (That is the weirdest name I have ever heard. It must be a bitch to fill out forms.) and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) (So you had long, ebony black hair at birth? *Is sceptical*) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears (Limped tears? *Gigglesnort*) and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). (I dare you to read that entire sentence in one breath. Seriously, I dare you.) I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. (INCEST ALERT!) I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. (Dafuq?) I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (It's in Scotland) where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) (You mean goth wannabe, right?) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example (Oh no. It's the first endless clothes description of DEATH!) today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. (No one cares) I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. (NO ONE CARES!) I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining (That's sleet) so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. (Because being happy about there being no sun is just the epitome of goth, isn't it?) A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. (So cheerful. SO. FEAKIN'. CHEERFUL.)
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…(A bouncing walrus juggling potatoes and singing selections from Willy Wonka?) Draco Malfoy! (Damn)
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly. (Draco Malfoy? Shy? BLASPHEMY!)
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. (…Well…that was…anticlimactic…)
AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! (No. It's so bad, it's going to spawn a hate cult. Congratulations! You've just set the new standard for bad fanfics!)