As part of the 1000Richonne Fics for Richonne Just Desserts.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these character.
Her side of the bed was cool and empty when he rolled over for a morning snuggle before the duties of the day called. Missing the warmth of her body, he looked over at the clock and saw it was a few minutes to seven. He knew where she would be. While rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he tossed the blanket and sheet aside and stumbled out of bed.
The smell of fresh brewed coffee greeted him as he shuffled downstairs wearing just his pajama bottoms. He poured himself a cup before making his way to the opened backdoor and watched her. He loved how he was the only one privileged enough to see her this way: wearing only one of his t-shirts, barefoot, loose locs cascading down her back, her face turned upward with a slight smile as she watched the sunrise. Every few days she rose before dawn to catch the sky in motion.
He sipped on the bitter coffee, making sure to save some for her. Even though she told him she preferred tea, her lips always found the rim of his cup for a sip or two. He could never resist the way she smiled playfully as she did so.
She crouched down while balancing herself on her toes. The morning dew was cold and wet as she massaged a blade of grass between her fingers. Each day he found something new to love about her. Her appreciation of the little things in a world dominated by the big things made him fall even harder. He took another drink from his mug and smiled. Being lovesick had never felt so good.
She tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked off into the distance at a spot at the edge of the yard, her brows creased and lost in thought. He felt his breath quicken as her lips opened slightly. As much he loved watching her, he preferred the mornings spent making love; languid and slow as if the world stopped just for them to explore how much they loved each other.
Judith slept in sweet bliss on the baby monitor in his hand. Carl was at Hilltop visiting Jesus. After their rocky start, Rick had come to appreciate and respect the man a great deal. He was happy Jesus had taken Carl under his wings as a mentor and surrogate big brother. The teen needed someone other than his parents to look up to. With a sleeping baby and a teen-less house he was about to ask her why they were out there when they could be doing other things to start their morning. Her voice stopped him as it cut through the quiet.
"Are you just going to stand there staring or are you going to join me?"
He grinned and placed the mug and monitor on a nearby table before walking out into the backyard. "You looked peaceful. Didn't want to disturb you."
She was still facing the sunrise as she reached out a hand beckoning him to her. "You never disturb my peace."
He walked up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. He kissed her temple then her lips when she turned her head towards him.
"You enjoy the sunrise?"
Her thumb drew circles on his bare arm. "Mmm. Yeah. It was scenic as usual. There's still a lot of beauty in this world."
"Yeah, and I'm looking right at her."
Michonne raised an eyebrow and tilted her head back to meet his amused gaze. "That was smooth, babe."
He grinned and shrugged adorably. "I tried. I was never a ladies' man. Shane always told me I didn't know how to talk to women."
"You know how to talk to women. A so-called ladies man talks at women like we're only here for their pleasure. You actually think we're human and should be respected. I'll take that any day over someone with game." She turned and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You're perfect just the way you are."
She laid her head on his chest and his arms tightened around her. Both sighed together in harmony. Coming together in each other's arms always felt like home. Rick would sometimes marvel at how in the year leading up to them falling in love, he could count on his hands how many times they touched. But now that he had every inch of her skin memorized, his hands acted as magnets to her body; always drawn to her if she was in any proximity to him. Her tight hold of him as she rubbed his back let him know she felt the same.
"It's still early," he whispered in her ear. "Wanna go back upstairs and get back in bed?" His hands traveled down and squeezed her backside.
She emitted a soft moan and looked up at him. "I'm guessing you don't mean to sleep."
He gave her an impish grin "Judith's sleeping. Carl's not home. Be a shame to waste the mornin'."
"Yeah a shame." She smiled briefly then her expression clouded over into a subdued melancholy.
He tilted her head to the side and looked closely at her. "You OK?"
"I'm fine." She pulled away from his slightly and waved off his concern. "Wasn't feeling too well last night. I was mostly tossing and turning. Then Judith decided to be a night owl too. We were up reading stories until she finally fell back to sleep about an hour ago. I'm just tired."
He cupped her cheek; his face etched with concern. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"You were sound asleep. Didn't want to disturb your peace," she said mimicking his earlier words back to him.
"You should have woke me up anyway. I could have taken care of Judith while you relaxed."
"You don't sleep enough as it is. You needed your rest."
He grunted in dismissal. "Not more than I need to be there for my family."
She stood on the tips of her toes and touch his lips with hers in a faint kiss. "You always are. Just waking up next to you every morning gives me comfort."
Her words touched him deeply but he still held on to her tight again; trying to give her the comfort he felt he should have the night before.
"What had you not feeling well?"
"At first I thought dinner didn't agree with me. Felt nauseous. But I've also been feeling tired and sluggish a lot lately. Then right after I put Judith down it hit me that my period is late…" She looked up at him and bit her lip as she her voice trailed off.
The expressions on his face changed in rapid succession: confusion, understanding, worry, fear.
She took a step away from him and nodded; reading the thoughts expressed through his face as a mirror to her own. "Yeah, me too."
She trailed her hand down his arm before pivoting and walking back towards the house. "I need to start getting Judith's breakfast ready," she mumbled.
Rick stood in the same spot unable to move; unable to fully process Michonne being pregnant. Images of her crying and bleeding as she tried to push a baby out filled his head. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead at the thought of anything happening to her. He wiped at his eyes then followed her inside.
He found her in the kitchen putting a red pot on the stove then rummaging through the cabinets for baby hot cereal and powdered milk.
"Judith just went to sleep, but I know she's going to be hungry soon. We'll wake her up once I finish breakfast. She'll probably need an early nap though," Michonne said calmly as she carefully measured the milk and cereal.
"Michonne we need to talk about this." Rick's voice was strained.
She nodded. "I know. We will. But the world hasn't stopped. We still need to get things done." She added water to the milk and poured it into the pot with the cereal.
Rick put his hands on her shoulders. "Michonne…"
"Later Rick. We have all day."
"Michonne stop." His voice was forceful in a way he rarely used with her. He grabbed her hand to stop the stirring and spun her around. "Are...are you pregnant?"
She shrugged and looked down. "I...I…" The calmness left her voice replaced by pain and worry. She cleared her throat and started again. "I don't know. My cycle hasn't exactly been regular since the world changed, but it's never been this late before."
She looked at him with big, vulnerable eyes. He couldn't remember ever seeing her that way, and it broke his heart. He cupped her cheeks with both of his hands. "What do we need to do, baby? Go to Hilltop to see the doctor?" He looked at his watch contemplating what time they'd get there; ready to pack up Judith and Michonne to leave at that moment.
"No need to do that. At least not right now." She pointed towards her old downstairs bedroom. "There's some pregnancy tests in the bathroom in there. Denise put together a care package for us ladies before everything happened. Been trying to work up the courage to take one." Her lips trembled slightly.
Rick hugged her close. "I'm here. I'm with you. We'll do it together."
She exhaled and nodded against his chest. "OK, but I'm the only one that needs to pee on the stick."
He scoffed playfully before planting a kiss on her cheek. "You always get to have all the fun."
Rick sat on the bed with his mug of coffee and the baby monitor next to him. His leg bounced up and down as he glanced at his watch. Michonne had been in the bathroom for over five minutes.
"Everything OK in there," he called out.
She appeared in the doorway a few seconds later with a hand covering her stomach. "Yeah. My bladder suddenly wanted to be shy, but it's done now." She sat next to him on the bed. "So now we wait."
"How long?"
"Five minutes or so."
"How do we know if you're pregnant?"
"Two pink lines mean pregnant. One means not pregnant."
"You sure the test is still good? Maybe we just head to Hilltop anyway."
"I checked the expiration date. It's good for another couple of years."
"Oh." He took a drink of coffee and looked at his watch again as if he could make it five minutes later by sheer force of will.
"You have some coffee left?" She asked.
He nodded and handed her the mug. She took a sip, screwed up her face, and handed it back to him. "Tea tastes better."
He chuckled lightly. "So I've heard."
Michonne looked around the bare room. She'd moved all her personal items out and into the bedroom she now shared with Rick a few days after they first made love. "We really do need to do something about this space. Thought Daryl would want it but he's moved out now."
"Carl could move down here. In...in case we need another nursery upstairs."
Michonne sighed. "I suppose so." She stood and walked over to examine the wall near the bedroom door. "The paint could use a touch up. All the rooms could use a fresh coat if we ever have the time and resources. Painting was always calming for me. I had so much fun doing Andre's nursery." She smiled wistfully. "I went all out because I knew I'd never do it again."
"You didn't want to have any more kids?"
"Not at all. My Peanut was a surprise. The most wonderful surprise, but one was enough for me."
Rick smiled. He loved whenever she called Andre her Peanut. It made him imagine a smiling and joyful boy who was always eager to be by his mother's side as she doted on him. Not for the first time he wished the boy was here with them now; a part of their family.
"I always wanted two or three kids. Some of my best memories from before are the first few years after Carl was born. I remember being in the delivery room thinking I couldn't believe I helped make such a perfect tiny, human."
Michonne leaned against the wall with her arms crossed and smiled. "It is unbelievable how perfect they are from the start. Why didn't you have more?"
Rick sat his mug on the floor then rested his elbows on his knees. "We wanted to. We tried for a while, but nothing. Then one morning Lori woke up in a lot of pain. I rushed her to emergency room. After many tests they found out she had endometriosis. Probably couldn't have any more kids every specialist we went to said."
Michonne walked back over to him and stood between his legs as she ran a comforting hand through his hair. "That had to be hard to hear."
He nodded and rubbed at the backs of her thighs. "It was but then we decided the three of us were enough. Things were good for a while. Then it wasn't. Overnight it felt like we became different people who could no longer understand each other."
"Felt like that with Mike too. I was never one to look for a man to save me. I only wanted an equal partner. I had that with him, but he turned into someone else when the world crumbled. After he and Andre died I was so angry at him for letting me down, but I realized maybe I had let him down too by not understanding what he was feeling. How he could never adapt."
"That's the thang. I don't think Lori ever adapted either. Gotta wonder about those of us that did so quickly. Maybe we're the mess up ones."
Her fingers pulled absentmindedly at the back of his hair as she stared off at a spot over his head. "You have to wonder."
"I was a shit husband to Lori while she was pregnant with Judith. Things were tense and strained between us, but I didn't have to treat her the way I did. It's hard to forgive myself for that. I blamed her for so much. Things I should have forgiven her for and things she didn't have any control of. It wasn't her fault she didn't know I was alive in that hospital. It wasn't her fault Shane tried to kill me. When she died, the mixture of grief and guilt made me go crazy." He squeezed her thigh. "You saw that aftermath of that."
"I did. I think that's why I felt such a kinship with you. We were one in the same. I carried so much guilt about Mike and Andre. I felt like I was suffocating and would never find air again. Andrea's friendship helped but I didn't want to live anymore without my Peanut. I stayed alive to punish myself for not being there when my family needed me." She ran a hand down his face. "Then I found you."
"Two imperfect people who are perfect together." Rick kissed the palm of her hand. "The days after Lori died were almost unbearable, but I can look back at it now with a bitter sweetness because of Judith. She shouldn't have been able to be conceived. But she was and she's here. She's our little miracle."
Michonne smiled. "That she is. I couldn't love her more if I'd given birth to her myself."
"That's one of the many reasons why I love you so much."
"You and the kids make me happier than I thought could be possible now. Sometimes I'm filled with guilt that I'll never be ever to share this happiness with Andre." She wiped at her eyes as she felt wetness start to gather. "I don't know what I'll do if I'm pregnant. Having a baby is hard enough in the best of circumstances. But this now…" She shook her head and thought of Maggie. "I don't think I can handle losing another child." Her voice was quiet, but on the brink of anguish.
Rick nodded and pulled her down to sit on his lap. He closed his eyes trying not think about anything happening to Michonne or a baby that might be on the way.
"What we'll do is love and protect the baby as much as we do Carl and Judith," he said.
"Can we keep another small child safe? We have a nice home behind a secure wall now, but we know that may not always be the case. There's no guarantees now. We know how hard it is to live on the road with a baby. It would be near impossible with two."
"We'll find a way. We always do. Isn't that what you always tell me," he tried to reassure her before looking at his watch. "It's been seven minutes. Time to check the test."
She stared at the bathroom door with a tremble in her hands as she rose from Rick's lap. She shook her head and crossed to the other side of the room. "I don't think I can look. You check it."
"OK. I got it."
Michonne faced the opposite wall as Rick walked into the bathroom with some trepidation in his steps. She paced back and forth and wrung her hands together for what felt like hours, but was only as few seconds. She stopped when she felt Rick walk up behind her.
"So?" she asked.
He grabbed her waist to turn her around to face him. She could usually read him better than he could himself, but she couldn't discern his expression this time. Then the small shake of his head told her everything.
"Only one pink line. You're not pregnant."
"I'm not pregnant. Wow." She shook her head in disbelief. "I really thought I was." The tears she'd been keeping at bay started to flow down her cheeks. "Damn. I don't know what to feel. After everything I just said, I'm not sure if these are happy or sad tears."
Rick realized he'd been on the verge of tears since she first told him she was late out in the backyard. Seeing her cry made them finally flood over. He wiped hers away with his thumb. "I'm not sure either." He hugged her to him again. "As much as it scares me, a life we created together could never be wrong."
She smiled through her tears. "No. Never." She exhaled. "I think I'd been holding my breath for hours. Before you came downstairs I was teetering between agonizing fear and picking out baby names. I was so certain my body was telling me I was pregnant."
"Was one of the names Rick Jr.?" He winked at her trying to lighten the mood.
She tilted her head to the side and smirked at him. "No Juniors. I always felt kids deserved their own identity not tied to anyone else." She reached her hand up to wipe away his tears.
"No. I agree. That's why Carl isn't a Junior. But that means no Michonne Jr. either."
"But it such a good name," she joked.
He kissed her softly. "It's the best name."
They stood intertwined in the empty bedroom as the sounds of the community waking up drifted over them. Footsteps and muffled greetings could be heard all around. Rick mentally went through his To Do list. There wasn't anything that couldn't wait a day or two.
"Maybe we should still go to Hilltop." He turned serious again. "Get you checked out since you haven't been feeling well. You're not pregnant, but we should make sure there's not anything else wrong with you."
She nodded. "Not a bad idea. Family road trip and I do miss Carl." She cleared her throat and put a hand on his chest. "Next time the pregnancy could be real. We try the best we can to be careful, but there's no ninety-nine percent safe birth control around anymore. Unless we stop having sex." She giggled at the pained look on his face. "Don't worry. We're not going to stop."
He laughed at his own self. "I love and want to be with you whether or not we ever have sex again. But I really wanna keep having sex."
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Me too, babe." Their lips met in another kiss. "Our family is perfect just the way it is. I don't want to try for a baby, but if it happens we'll be OK. We'll love him or her with all our hearts."
"We will. We're great at four, but if a baby makes us five strong we'll be just as great."
"I love you."
"I love you too." His hands inched up t-shirt to find her breasts and started a soft caress. "Speaking of sex…" He gestured with his head to the bed. "We don't have to leave right at this moment…"
"Uh uh." She halted his ministrations and pulled him out of the room. "Let's go get dressed before we tempt fate and really make a baby."