A/N: As much as I would like to, I do not own any of the characters of Downton Abbey. This is my first fanfic ever! So please read, enjoy and, above all, review!

Mary:

"Matthew…"

His name tingled her lips. There was something so very wonderful about his name. If only he was called something like Eugene, something unpleasant, then perhaps he would be easier to forget. But, it was Matthew, Matthew with his piercing blue eyes and shattering smile. How could she ever forget him?

She studied him, taking mental pictures of his tampered face as if at any moment he would just disappear… Poof! Like a puff of smoke, vanished from her life. The thought nearly wrenched her heart out. When she heard the news of his injury, she could barely contain herself. If it had not been for the years of practice, the years of masking her emotions, she would have broken down there and then. A life without Matthew… What kind of life would that be? She was still trying to accept the fact that they could never share a life together. No, they could never do that. He no longer loved her. He had Lavinia now. And she was sweet, kind and loyal to him, things that Mary never was. Things that she wish she could have been when she had the chance.

"Matthew." She murmured with greater urgency. She stole glance at his chest – still rising and falling at a slow but regular rhythm. She needed to know he was okay. She needed to see those eyes; those cruel yet beautiful eyes that stole her heart away and never gave it back.

And she will never have it back because it will always be his. Everyone else would simply be second best.

Matthew:

Matthew.

There it was again. Her voice. The last and first thing he wanted to here. The voice that could slice him in two and easily mend him back together. The voice that he could not get out of his head.

Her tone is calm and collected like it always was, and yet it evoked so many emotions from him: anger, vulnerability, sadness, joy, pain and, worst of all, love.

He remembered the first time he saw her and the first word that came into his mind was perfect. After that day, no one else could compare. She was the sole subject of his thoughts. During the day, he wondered how she spent her time. He wondered whether she was dallying with another handsome nobleman who was in every way his superior. During dinner, he wondered if she knew he was staring at her. He wondered how it possible that she could get more perfect every time he saw her. And at night, he wondered what she was dreaming about. Him? Did she dream about him like he did of her?

Then, when she kissed him, it was like his universe was complete, and he could not grasp how he ever managed to live life without her. But that was before… before… the pregnancy, the war and Lavinia.

Lavinia. Yes, how agreeable and gentle she was! She was his fiancée. She was the one he had chosen to spend the rest of his life with. It was supposed to be the thought of her, Lavinia, that kept him going. He had survived the trenches to come back to her.

But, you know she isn't. You chose me, but I didn't want you. How could I ever want you? Her voice reappeared in the back of his mind, nagging him in the most beautiful way. I don't love you. Even in his imagination, those words hurt. They hurt more than the bruises on his back. They stung the open wound in his heart.

Lavinia, Lavinia, Lavinia, Lavinia. He repeated her name until he was sure another would not slip out.

"Where's Lavina?"

Well that's the end of that! I'd love to know what you thought, so please leave a review for me! If you are interested in any other works of mine, check out my author's page. Until then...