A/N: This had not been beta'd. I apologize in advanced for any errors. It's been a very long time since I've last posted anything. I just want to see if I can still do this. Concrit is welcome.
The Note
He arrived in his sitting room after a tour of the green houses inspecting and supervising the harvest of the potions ingredients needed for the school year. He was about to enter his den to review the lesson plans for the new term when he saw it on the coffee table. It was a piece of parchment folded in half like a small tent, to prevent it from being missed.
S,
I can't take it anymore. I must leave now.
H
Severus could hardly believe his eyes. She was leaving him. He could not help but feel sorry for himself at a time like this. Of course she would leave him. Why would a young, beautiful woman, with the world at her feet choose to stay with a person like Severus Snape? He always wondered why. He even questioned it.
Although it was not even noon, he could not help pouring himself a rather generous serving of fire whiskey. Three fingers to be precise. Getting totally pissed would not solve anything and it would not make him feel better, it should have helped him forget, but all he could do was remember.
~*~
"Why do spend time with me?"
"I… umm… it's hard to explain."
"Try."
"You're an interesting person. I learn something new every time we talk."
"Is that all?"
"I admire you Severus. You are a very special person, and I like to think of you as a friend. Although, I'm not entirely sure if you consider me a friend as well."
"I do Hermione. You have become an important part of my life."
~*~
Severus had to admit to himself that his heart was breaking. He had never thought that she would just up and leave him after they had wed. She might have considered it before the wedding perhaps, but not after. He had asked her on many occasions if she was sure that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. He would have preferred to lose her early on in the relationship. It would have been painful, surely, but not as much as this heart wrenching, ache that was consuming him now. There would not be enough alcohol in all of Hogsmeade to dull this pain. Why could he not forget?
~*~
"Hermione?"
"Yes Severus."
What will you do when your apprenticeship with Minerva is completed?"
"I really haven't considered it. There aren't many opportunities for transfiguration mistresses."
"That is rather surprising. You always have everything planned out."
"It's not so simple. I would enjoy teaching very much, but there will not be an opening here for years. I've been considering asking Professor Vector for an arithmancy apprenticeship. I am a scholar at heart."
"Yes you are, but wouldn't that be a rather lonely existence."
"I wouldn't be alone. I'm not ever alone when I'm surrounded by books, and I have you."
~*~
On that day, Severus realized that he was in love with Hermione. His heart would always belong to her, even as she was tearing it to pieces. He sighed as he realized that the tumbler that he was drinking from was empty. He abandoned it decided to drink straight from the bottle. She wouldn't be returning, civility and manners meant little without her presence in their home. He sighed again as he thought how disappointed she would be in him if she found him this way. Not that she would, she had left him.
~*~
"Severus, please tell me what's bothering you."
"It is nothing worth mentioning."
"You seem so distracted. That is so unlike you. Have you heard anything I've said in the last five minutes?"
"My apologies Hermione, this is something that I cannot discuss this with you."
"Why ever not Severus? I thought we were friends."
"We are. That is part of the problem."
"How can our friendship be part of the problem? Do you not want to be my friend?"
"No Hermione, I no longer want to be your friend. I see you as more than a friend, and I know that you could never feel the same about me. I care for you, no that's not right. Hermione Granger, I love you. I hope that it will not-"
He never finished his sentence. Hermione silenced him with a kiss, and that's how it all began.
~*~
Now she was gone. There was no happily ever after, not for Severus Snape. Those were his last thoughts as he fell into a drunken sleep. He would surely wake with a crick in his neck from sleeping in an extremely awkward position in an armchair.
That is how Hermione found him two hours later. The stench from the alcohol was overwhelming. She ran to the toilet and emptied out the contents of her stomach. She would deal with her husband, as soon as she brushed her teeth and splashed some cold water on her face.
"Severus Snape, get out of that chair this instant." Hermione shrieked and her entirely body was shaking.
"What, what?" Severus slurred, as his eyes slowly opened. He covered them quickly with his hands as his head was throbbing.
"Serves you right. What has gotten into you? You never drink at this time of the day, and I have never once witnessed such over indulgence from you."
"I… you… this," he said incoherently and handed her the scrap of parchment.
Hermione looked at the parchment and then looked back at her husband. She went into the bathroom retrieved a vial and handed it to him. "Here drink," she commanded, and he did.
She offered her hand and he took it, but neither said a word. She led him to the couch so they would be sitting together and they could talk. Hermione had yet to release his hand. Severus could not meet her eyes. He felt so ashamed. He had not expected her to return for her belongings so soon. He did not like that she found him in this sorry state.
"Severus, did honestly believe that I was leaving you?"
"Yes, the note was clear," he responded but still did not look at her.
"I'm so sorry Severus. I was in a hurry. I would never leave you, I love you."
"I love you too, Hermione. Life without you-" He paused and placed his hands over his face clearly trying to hide his tears. Hermione took hands from his face and held them in her own. Severus gazed into the eyes of the woman he loved. What he saw there was warmth, love, and acceptance. Even in the horrible state that he was currently in, it seemed impossible, but he knew this to be the truth. Severus did not want to lose her. It had to be all or nothing. There would be no holding back. He pulled to him and held her tight. "I'll never let you go Hermione. Even if you want to leave me, I'll not let go without a fight."
Hermione pulled out of his embrace and looked into his dark eyes, "you won't have to my love."
Certain in the knowledge that his wife loved him, Severus became curious about her whereabouts. "If I may inquire, where were you my dear?"
"St. Mungo's and I do apologize, love. I really was in a hurry. When I wrote that I could not take it anymore, I meant the dizziness and the nausea I've been feeling lately. I was planning to wait until Poppy came back from her holiday but it was becoming unbearable, so I went to St. Mungo's instead."
"Is everything alright love? Why didn't you ask me to accompany you?"
Well, you had already left to do your inspection when I woke, so I chose not to disturb you." Severus frowned, but she ignored it and continued. "The healer assures me that I'm in perfect health, she also informed me that I'm pregnant"
Severus' eyes became as large as dinner plates upon hearing the news. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His already sallow skin became even paler. Hermione smirked, "close your mouth dear, you'll catch flies that way."
Hermione's attempt at sarcasm brought Severus out of his stupor. He once again took his wife in his arms and held her close. Only this time he did it with more tenderness. Hermione loved him, she was not leaving him, and they were having a baby. Perhaps there was a happily ever after for Severus Snape after all.
A/N #2: For those who are wondering about my WIP, "Waking the Dead", it has not been abandoned. I am currently working on it. I will not post any new chapters until it has been completed. Thanks for reading this. Any comments left will be greatly appreciated.
~Songbird