Okay! First Portal fic, first Christmas fic... lots of firsts today. My original idea was for Chell to sneak into Aperture and get the place Christmas-fied, but I tinkered with the idea a bit and started pondering why there weren't many ATLAS and P-body fics. So this spilled out of my brain and onto my keyboard. Enjoy.

EDIT: I came back to fix some mistakes, as I am a perfectiontist. Also, just as this fic is about the co-op robots, I happen to have a co-pilot myself for this story: my greatly talented friend Falconflight. Enjoy!

GLaDOS was bored.

That was the best definition of the instance. Her days at Aperture had become so peaceful that they seemed to drone on forever. The human test subjects were essentially useless, and most seemed to have the intelligence of a lemon. Furthermore, they just kept dying. Science can't be done with a dead test subject, at least not the type of science that was required for testing of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.

The co-operative testing was working well, but science with controlled variables just didn't feel right. Since GLaDOS was running out of co-operative testing rooms, she had decided to experiment a little by letting ATLAS and P-body- Blue and Orange, as she called them- use some of the older solo test chambers. It was boring her to no end, watching them fool around after finishing a test. For robots, they were so... human.

But testing was all she could really do, due to both the fact that that was how she was programmed and because something had to prevent her from dying of boredom.

Well.

As if she could even die in the first place. No matter how many times a dangerous mute lunatic had tried to kill her, she was still alive. She would live forever, but sometimes living forever can get so dull...

ATLAS and P-Body were also bored. They had different reasons for being bored, however. They had finished testing for the day, and were looking for something to do in an old office space outside of a test chamber, spinning around in office chairs, optics half closed.

P-body's sensors picked up a small movement on the ground nearby. She opened her optic fully, seeing a dark shape dart underneath a door. Naturally curious, she softly but quickly walked to the closet door. She curled her metal fingers around the door handle and pulled.

As she did so, a multitude of boxes that had been resting on the door from the inside tumbled out and onto the android. She let out a startled noise as ATLAS suddenly became more attentive. He stood up and quickly stepped across to P-body, who was covered with the boxes. The robot with the blue optic extended an animatronic arm to help her up, but something glittery caught his eye- erm, sensory optic. A glittery strand spilled out of a cardboard container. He removed the top, pulling out a long, silver, sparkly cord of tinsel garland.

P-body pulled herself up to her feet, snatching the tinsel from her partner's hand. She held it up curiously, batting at it like a kitten with the other hand. Neither of the robots had ever seen anything like it, and since they were programmed for scientific testing, they both had equally curious minds. ATLAS flicked the silver string, then picked up the box it had come from.

It was a rather large box, around the size of a Weighted Storage Cube. Weighted Storage Cubes, however, do not contain quite as interesting things as the round robot soon discovered this cube did. He removed two floppy red and white objects, which his data identified as hats, as he set the box back down. P-body, fascinated by this new discovery, stepped over to her partner in testing.

[What is that?] she communicated in a series of whirs and beeps.

[A hat,] ATLAS spoke back. He placed it on top of P-body's turret-like main body frame, the closest thing to a head he could really find. [You wear it.]

P-body quickly removed the headwear. [Only humans wear clothing,] she chided. [And you know how She feels about human behavior. She'll get mad!]

ATLAS looked at his feet, then walked over to the box. [You know what?] he lifted the other hat up. [I think She needs to lighten up a little.] With that, he donned the hat.

If robots could gasp, P-body would have done such. Instead, she let out a surprised noise. [You know what She would do if she heard you? She's disassemble you and use your parts to make a blender!] The android wasn't quite sure what a blender was, but it didn't sound like the best career choice.

[That wasn't my point,] ATLAS transmitted as [But I just had an idea.]

[Use turrets, propulsion gel, and an edgeless safety cube to go bowling?] P-body beeped hopefully.

[Not today Orange,] ATLAS replied. [I think we need to cheer her up.]

P-body rolled her optic and made a huff-like noise. [How are we going to do that without being disassembled?]

ATLAS gestured for his partner to take a look in the box. Inside were strings of colored lights, sheet music for carols, and many more Christmas related items.

[I think we should take a look in here...]

Approximately 1.02 hours later...

GLaDOS was mulling over how to make testing more exciting for her- and, consequently more dangerous for humans- when she saw Blue and Orange fiddling with an old computer through a camera. GLaDOS' main optic narrowed as she zoomed in on what they were doing. Orange was chattering nervously to Blue, who was trying to operate the computer. For robots, they didn't know a lot about computers. She wasn't sure what they were looking for, but they were searching in really random files. Cake recipes, the exact affects of lunar rocks on humans, Christmas celebrations, the testing logs…

The testing logs?

She attempted to zoom in closer. Her curiosity had to be satisfied; what could they be up to? The two had never been the most... intelligent Artificial Intelligences, so behavior such as this was unusual. However, Orange quickly whirred around at the nearly inaudible sound of the camera zoom (her sensors were very accurate) and quickly picked up her Portal Gun, shooting a lighter colored portal at the camera, which fell to the ground.

Something is very wrong here, the AI noted bitterly, and I need to right it. For science.

Excuse the shortness! New chapters soon to follow! If I don't have this done by Christmas (which I hope I do), it will be complete by New Years. As my good friends Falconflight and FuzzehNomNom like to say, Feliz Navidad, idiotas!