Code blue, ICU.

"Reese, come with me!" Connor called out.

"Yes, Dr. Rhodes," Sarah replied, following him into the room.

"Excuse me," Connor said, pushing past a thirty-something year old man.

"Is my brother going to be okay?!" he shouted, pushing back.

"Maggie!" Connor called. "A little help here?"

"Come with me, sir," Maggie said, gently placing her hand on the thirty-something year old's arm. He obliged with tears streaming down his face.

"There's no pulse," Sarah breathed. "He's unresponsive,"

"He's in V-tach. Cardiac arrest," Connor confirmed. "Give me the paddles. Charge to 200,"

"Charging to 200,"

"Clear?"

"Clear,"

The patient jolted. Sarah checked for a pulse. Nothing. She shook her head.

"No pulse," she said.

"One milligram of EPI," Connor said.

"Got it. One of EPI,"

"Again. Clear?!"

"Clear!"

The patient jolted again.

"Still no pulse," she said after checking.

"Another milligram of EPI,"

"One of EPI," Sarah responded, feeling sick to her stomach. She couldn't block out the sound of the patient's brother. He was screaming.

"Clear?!"

"Clear!"

The patient jolted yet again. There was still no pulse.

"Time of death," Connor said, looking up at Sarah after looking at the clock. "15:49,"

Connor and Sarah lost their patient. For Connor, this was revisited territory. But this was the first time that Sarah was involved in a patient's death. Connor knew it right away. He saw the look on her face. He didn't know her well but he knew what that look meant on anyone. He felt her stomach drop as if it was his own.

She didn't even know the patient's name. She wasn't sure that she wanted to. It would make it seem more real.

Maggie wasn't able to keep the patient's brother out of the room anymore. He opened the door as wide as possible and lost control.

"YOU - FUCKING - DOCTORS!" he shouted. "You go through all that schooling and then get paid oh so fucking much and what do you have to show for it?!" he pushed a rollaway table with force, making it crash into the wall next to Sarah. She jumped. He was looking directly at her. "At least he looks old enough to be a doctor," he breathed, pointing at Connor. "But you," he was pointing at her now. "You look like you're seventeen fucking years old!"

"Sir, that's enough," Connor said calmly yet firmly, stepping in front of Sarah. "Maggie, get security,"

"I will fucking kill you, girl!" He shouted. "See, this is why you shouldn't let women become doctors," he spat at Connor. "This isn't over," he said, looking Sarah right in the eyes. She couldn't breathe. No one had ever looked at her with such hate before.

"Actually, it is," Connor said, nodding towards Maggie and the security guard. The five of them exited the room. "Please make sure he doesn't come back in here," he told the security guard. He turned around, expecting to see Sarah, but she had already left.

He knew where she was. He had seen her go there before.

He lightly tapped on the storage room door.

"Sarah?" he called softly. He had seen her go into the storage room a few times for several minutes at a time and returning with nothing. He slowly turned the knob. She didn't bother to turn the lights on. He saw her sitting on the floor at the back of the room, pulling her knees up to her chest. Her face was slightly illuminated by a nearby nightlight. "Can I come in?"

"Okay," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. If anyone were to understand what she was going through, it would be him. He closed the door behind him and sat down next to her.

"Was he your first - " her nod cut him off. "I thought so," he breathed deeply. "He was my patient, Sarah. I've been treating him all day. You were just assisting me," she kept looking down at her knees, tears streaming down her face. He lightly cupped her chin in his hand, turning her face towards him. "It's on me,"

"That's not how I look at it," she said. He released her chin and wiped a fresh tear from her face.

"I know," he said. "You're never going to fully push past this. The first death you witness firsthand has some strange way of sticking with you," he paused. Sarah searched him. She imagined he was reflecting on his first time. "It's going to happen again. It doesn't really get any easier," he said. "But you do learn to live with it,"

She tilted her head, allowing it to rest on his shoulder. She expected him to flinch away but was relieved when he didn't.

"Okay," she said, holding in a sob. She took a few deep breaths before standing up. She dusted off her pants with her hands. Connor stood up as well.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked. She nodded, wiping her eyes again. He checked his watch. "Your shift's done now isn't it? Maybe you should go home and get some rest,"

"Yeah. Maybe," she said. She opened the storage room door.

"See you later," he said, smiling sadly at her.

"See you," she replied, trying but failing to smile. She headed for the lounge.

She left her white coat in her locker in exchange for her winter one. It was so cold that day. She wore a black turtleneck and gray dress pants with black booties.

She saw some books on the coffee table out of the corner of her eye. They tempted her.

She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to go back to her tiny, lonely apartment. It was so quiet there. Too quiet. She knew that the events of today would replay in her head over and over again in the silence. She tossed her coat on the couch and sat down.

One of the dozen books were on cardiac arrests. She swallowed hard. Clearly I need to read up on this, she thought, surveying the book. She read about sixty pages before she fell asleep hugging it.

Connor opened the door to the lounge, cursing himself for not doing it quieter. He closed the door behind him very lightly. He checked his watch. 12:11am. He had to wake her. She undoubtedly had another early shift within eight hours and needed to get a proper sleep at home.

"Sarah?" he said softly. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She began to stir. She slowly opened her eyes for a few seconds before they grew wide.

"Dr. Rhodes!" she gasped, fumbling with the book. "Shit, what time is it?"

"It's after midnight. Come on, I'll take you home," he said. "Just let me change up,"

"That's okay, really," she said. "There's a bus that comes every hour during the night so I'll just - "

"Reese," he raised his eyebrows. "You're coming with me. Just give me a minute,"

"Okay," she said, her breathing finally resembling normalcy. He smiled at her before leaving the lounge.

He returned in a white long-sleeve and khaki pants. He was putting his work clothes in his locker and taking out his fur-lined leather jacket. She looked him up and down, her face flushing red. She shook her head to snap out of it. He put on his leather jacket, taking his car keys from it.

"You ready?" he asked, turning to her.

"Yeah," she said, putting her own coat on. He held the door open for her. "Thanks," she said shyly. The two of them exited the hospital.

"My car's right here," he said, pointing at the black BMW. She nodded, heading for the passenger's side.

"I really appreciate you doing this," she said once they were both inside.

"It's really not a big deal," Connor shrugged. "So, where do you live?"

"It's about thirty blocks east," she said, resisting the urge to cringe. She felt so guilty and he noticed.

"Hey, would you stop?" he laughed. "I really don't mind. Just give me directions as we go,"

"Okay," she exhaled. She looked down from his eyes and caught herself starring at his lips. She quickly looked back up at his eyes, hoping he didn't notice. He smiled and put the key in the ignition. They drove away from their second home. "So, did you always want to be a doctor?" she asked, looking down at her hands.

"My whole life? No," he said. "I wanted to be an austronaut until I was about twelve or thirteen. Then I wanted to be an orthodontist when I got braces just because I thought their job was cool. Putting coloured metal in people's mouths all day," he laughed. "Then, when I was about seventeen, my best friend started choking at lunch this one time. I felt so useless. His face turned purple by the time our gym teacher finally got to the cafeteria and helped him," he paused. "He was alright but, from that moment on, I knew that I wanted to help people,"

Sarah smiled. "That's a really nice story," she said.

"And you?" he asked.

"Oh," she said. "Not really. I don't know. Sometimes, I'm still not sure about the whole doctor thing," she blushed, realizing how stupid her answer seemed in comparison to his.

"That's perfectly normal," he said. "I think one in one hundred of our cases actually makes us feel good about what we do. It's the times where we successfully stop someone from choking that makes it all worthwhile," he turned to face her and winked. Her breath got caught in her throat.

"Turn right," she said. "It's the second apartment on the left." He pulled in as close as he could to the entrance door.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said.

"You bet," she smiled. "Thanks again," she turned to leave and immediately turned back to face him.

"Actually, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah. Shoot,"

"Remember how our patient's brother said that he'd kill me?" she asked. Connor flinched when she said the second last word.

"Yes," he said steadily.

"Do you think he really meant it?" she asked, her vision blurry from the tears in her eyes. She was such an emotional wreck.

"No," Connor said. "He needed someone to blame. Unfortunately, he chose you even though you were not at fault in any way. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. I've had several husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, and friends who have threatened me countless times. I try to put myself in their shoes,"

"Okay," she breathed, looking down and nodding. He held her chin again like he did earlier, turning her face towards him.

"You're an amazing doctor, Sarah," he said softly. "You should get some rest,"

"Yes, thank you," she said, turning to leave. "For everything," she said before opening the door. She got out and shut it behind her. He smiled and raised his right hand. She waved back and turned around, now facing her apartment building. She got her keys out of her pocket, fumbling to find the entrance key once she noticed that Connor was waiting to make sure she got in safe. She dropped them. Fuck, she thought as she bent over to pick them up. There you are, you little shit, she thought, finally finding the right key. She shoved it in the keyhole and opened the door. She didn't turn around to wave at Connor again because her face was beet red. She quickly walked up to the staircase, her legs ready for the twenty-two flights ahead of her.