A/N: This is the first femslash Ned's Declassified I've ever seen, and it greatly saddens me that I had to write it. But if no one else was gonna…then by golly it was up to me! I'm glad I did it though, I've had other ideas bouncing in my head for months now and this is the first story I've ever written. It didn't come out like I wanted it to, but I'm still happy with it. Leave your thoughts if you're so inclined, if not… well that's ok too.

Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just angsting on them for a while. And I'm certainly not making any money from this, so no suing please! (that should be made into a button)

Further A/N: I don't know the name of the high school or the mascot and I don't really care, I've kept the Wolves (which I also don't own) and don't mention the school name. Deal with it.

Warning: Mild femslash, if you don't like it don't read it. If you do then proceed!

Rumination

It had been a long night for our volleyball team tonight. First came the two hour drive to the game, then the game itself, then the ride home. We are tired. As well we should be, we'd been playing hard and had pulled out a win against one of the toughest teams we've faced all season, the Eagles. But we Wolves did exceedingly well and coach is pleased. At least that's what I think that face means, he seems less frown-y than usual.

At first I thought being a co-captain with Suzie would be hard, but we've been doing this since middle school, and now in our junior year we've become a great team. Working together to whip our girls into shape and play the game right has brought us closer together than I'd ever dreamed we could be. When we were younger we had this preposterous and intense dislike of one another, I'd go so far as to say we were approaching 'hate'. But we settled our differences (which were surprisingly few once we got straight down to talking about it) while playing the game and becoming a team.

I don't want to lose that…ever. She's the best girl friend I've ever had, and that includes Lisa and Claire. They're nice and all, but Suzie means so much more to me…she always has really. Even when we were fighting, my competition with her was more important than just about everything else. There's always been something about her, something that keeps me interested, something that makes me want to know more…I'm attracted to her.

I know I shouldn't be thinking this way. I shouldn't feel any attraction to her, especially since I know how Ned feels about her. Even after all these years he still carries a torch for her. They'd dated briefly in sophomore year but she had broken it off. She told me she thought he was sweet but she just wasn't attracted to him like that. She also told me that she'd been worried that I wouldn't be her friend anymore once she wasn't dating him. I wonder…what made her so worried? Surely she knows that I value our friendship more than to end it over something like that…at least I hope she does. Ned still moons over her whenever he and I talk; he keeps asking me if I'll set them up so he can have another chance. I hate it when he does that, it makes me feel guilty for being attracted to her and for not helping him out like a good best friend should.

When I first figured out that I liked her as more than a friend, I freaked out. I had caught myself studying her in homeroom at the end of the day and thinking about how pretty she was with the sun hitting her just so and her hair loose about her face. Then I thought 'where the HECK did THAT come from! I'm not attracted to SUZIE; I can't be attracted to her! …she...she's…SUZIE for gods sakes! She's my best freaking FRIEND!' At that point she looked up at me with a confused expression on her face and asked me how to do this one problem, and then she noticed the look on my face and asked what was wrong. I told her nothing and tried to go back to work but my eyes kept traveling back to her…the way her brow furrowed while she thought out a problem, the way she smirked once she got it, the way her writing seemed to flow from inside her and come out all pretty and dainty and neat….that's when I felt a hot blush on my face and looked down at my own work. I stayed like that for the rest of the period trying to forget that I was thinking about her…still. After the period ended I did my best to avoid her and get myself home before we could talk, I just knew something stupid would pop out of my mouth if we did, or I'd turn into a bumbling idiot, or a total klutz…which is what happened anyway.

Suzie managed to corner me at my locker before I could escape to the relative safety of the rush-out-of-school crowd. She started asking me questions about what was up, and why hadn't I waited for her, and why was I in such a hurry…none of which I could think up a good answer for so I just shrugged and continued rummaging through my locker, pretending to be looking for a book while trying to think of a good excuse to get away. She stopped asking questions and started talking normally about regular gossip and over-all chitchat. I made short responses along the lines of 'uh huh' 'oh' 'hmm' 'um' and 'yeah', showing what a witty conversationalist I could be. Before I knew it she had me agreeing to a sleepover at her place that weekend and cursing myself for not paying attention to what she'd been saying.

She surprised me so thoroughly with the sleepover that I accidentally slammed my fingers in my locker when I went to close it. I whipped them back and yelped in pain and surprise. Then I started waving them around whimpering and further making a fool of myself. Tears were starting up in my eyes but again Suzie shocked me into a stupor when she caught my wrist and took my hand in hers saying "Jesus Jennifer! What did you do that for!" She was looking at my fingers a moment later and softly murmured "that must hurt like crazy…" then she pulled my hand up, bent her head down, and kissed my fingers. I think my heart stopped for a second. Her lips were so soft and warm. And with her eyes closed like that she was so beautiful. Then she said "There, all better now!" knocking me out of my ruminations and pulling me away from my locker after closing it properly.

I don't know what prompted her to kiss my fingers like that, it's never happened before, and it hasn't happened since. Once I figured out that I actually was attracted to her…no, falling for her, it got harder to be around her. My heart would ache and my mind would always be thinking about her. Whenever I caught sight of her when I wasn't expecting to my breath stuck in my chest and I was always shocked to notice just how beautiful she was. How beautiful she is.

After the game (and it was a late game) the team all piled into the bus. Suzie next to me, as per usual, and we were all tired. About ten minutes into the ride she put her head on my shoulder and leaned into me then fell asleep. I let her stay there. Looking at her now with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted I think once again just how beautiful she is. I wonder how she captured my heart so completely without even trying, I wonder if it's even a remote possibility that she could feel the same way, and I wonder how long it's going to take me to say "I love you Suzie Crabgrass".

It's been almost a year since she kissed my fingers and I still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how I feel. I'm not sure I ever will, especially not while Ned is still trying to get with her. She keeps turning him down though and I can't figure out why…in fact, she's turned down every guy that's asked her out since she dumped Ned last year… right around the time I found I was attracted to her and she kissed my fingers …maybe…maybe there's a chance that she feels the same way. Maybe she dumped Ned because she realized that she had feelings for me. Oh god I can only hope! Maybe I should tell her how I feel, maybe it should be tonight.

We're almost home now, pulling into the school as I think. I look at Suzie once more and think it will be tonight, I will tell her how I feel. I just hope she doesn't hate me for it.

I whisper "Suzie, it's time to wake up. We're back at the school and there's equipment to carry before we go to your place."