Please Note Before Reading: This story really will make very little sense without reading the other ones in my series. I almost didn't post it on here because it doesn't do well as a stand-alone story. You can certainly read it without reading all my other stories first, but it may be hard to understand what's going on- especially since this is a very strange tale anyway! Thanks for reading! - Waks
"Ferb, you put a baloney sandwich in my side of the locker."
"Oops." Ferb said. He pushed a button in the locker door and the sandwich materialized in the top locker.
"How did you guys manage to morph your bottom and top lockers together?" Perry asked.
"Well, we used an atomic sy-"
"Forget it, I don't know science. Very impressive, though."
"Thanks for coming to our parents' night, Perry." Phineas said. "I wish mom and dad could have come. But they were busy."
"No problem." Perry said. "You have a nice school."
"But our school colors are weird." Phineas sighed.
"Khaki and clear." Ferb said.
"You guys should suggest changing them." Perry said.
"Good idea!" Phineas said. "Ferb, let's invent a new color!"
"You can't just make a new color no one's see-" Perry stopped. "Never mind. Nothing's impossible with you two."
Ferb closed the locker doors.
"Hey, I wasn't done yet!" Phineas said.
"Oops." Ferb opened it again.
"You have a picture of a blowfish in your locker?" Perry asked.
"A buh-lowfish." Ferb corrected.
"Right." Perry said.
"Our school play is gonna happen soon." Phineas said. "Will you come, Perry? It's the Wizard Of Oz."
"Sure I'll come."
"Good. We were afraid you'd miss it for the world."
"The expression is 'I wouldn't miss it for the world'."
"Well, we were afraid you would miss it. Because sometimes you have to. Your job IS saving the world, after all."
Perry shrugged.
They started down the hallway to leave.
"I like the parents' night sticker Mr. Morrison gave me." Phineas said. "It has a puppy on it."
"I named my puppy on my sticker Philip." Ferb said.
"I named mine Remus." Phineas said.
"You name EVERYTHING Remus." Ferb said.
"I like the name. It's the name of Romulus's brother in the Roman legend. They were really close, like us, Ferb."
"But then they killed each other."
"No, Romulus killed Remus."
"Don't get any inspiration, you two." Perry said. "The Romans weren't always right."
"Well, they were twins." Phineas said. "We aren't twins. So we're different."
"You two are the same age, though." Perry said.
"I'm older by a month." Ferb said.
"So we're like twins that are a month apart." Phineas said.
"Wonderful visual." Perry said.
...
Perry had just started falling asleep in his chair when Monogram's voice woke him.
"Agent P! PSST! Wake up!"
Perry opened one eye.
"Sorry to disturb you, Agent P, but there have been some strange things going on around Danville. People behaving oddly. Cars behaving oddly. Plants behaving oddly. Carl behaving oddly. Well, I guess that isn't strange."
"Sir!" Carl protested.
"Anyway, we suspect Doofenshmirtz. Find him and get to the bottom of it."
Perry gave a sleepy salute and left his lair.
...
Perry ran down the street, taking in anything he could. He didn't actually notice anything out of the ordinary, save for the fact that Buford van Stomm was licking the sidewalk, but that didn't seem like anything to be concerned about.
Perry entered Doofenshmirtz's building and rode the elevator up to the top floor. He went to Doofenshmirtz's door and knocked.
"Who is it?" Doofenshmirtz asked, opening the door.
Perry punched him in the face.
...
"I know it's hard to believe, but I really didn't do anything." Doofenshmirtz said, looking out of the window. "I didn't make that girl run backwards up a tree, or that spot of grass there turn blue, or that kid lick the sidewalk. But I wish I had. It'd be easy to take over."
Perry joined him by the window.
"It's kind of scary, really." Doofenshmirtz said. "I don't know what could be causing it. I mean, look! Whatever it is made that kid's hair turn green."
Perry saw Ferb walking down the street.
Without Phineas.
That was strange.
"Oh, that's just Ferbeus." Doofenshmirtz said. "Where's his twin brother Phil?"
"I don't know." Perry chattered.
"I think I'm gonna lock all the doors tonight." Doofenshmirtz said. "And leave Norm on watch. This is really creeping me out."
...
"Strange things around Danville?" Phineas asked. "Nah, I didn't notice anything."
"Well, for one thing, Ferb's not here." Perry said.
"He had to go get a part for a machine we were making." Phineas said, taking a bite of zucchini.
"And for another thing, you're eating zucchini."
"Yeah…"
"You hate zucchini."
Phineas looked down at his plate. "You're right. I have no idea why I'm eating this. I just kind of really wanted zucchini today."
"See? Strange things. And when I was walking home from Doofenshmirtz's, I saw a balloon holding a kid."
Phineas pushed his plate away. "Maybe Doofenshmirtz made another inator."
"That's what I thought. But he swears it wasn't him."
"Weird." Phineas said. "Really weird."
Ferb entered the room. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Things have been out of the ordinary lately." Phineas said.
"Like how?" Ferb asked. "Buford licking the sidewalk?"
"No, that's normal. Like balloons holding kids." Phineas said.
"Grass changing color." Perry supplied.
"Me eating zucchini."
Ferb raised an eyebrow. "You ate zucchini? Okay, I'm going back to bed."
"It's weird, right?" Phineas said.
"Maybe today's National Weird Day and no one bothered to tell us." Ferb said.
"But then how did the grass know?" Phineas asked.
"Because the grass was informed." Ferb said.
...
When Perry entered the O.W.C.A the next morning, the animals were all gathered in the main room.
Monogram stood in front of them, looking very distressed. Carl and Monty were behind him, also worried.
"Ah, good. Agent P." Monogram said. "Please, have a seat. I need to talk to all of you."
Perry sat down next to Pinky the Chihuahua.
Monogram cleared his throat. "You all may have noticed that people and plants have been doing some strange things since yesterday. Well, Carl and I tracked it to a strange slimy substance that Danville was apparently exposed to. The slime is not visible but can be touched. Upon further analysis it was found that this slime matches no substance known to us."
The animals began to chitter.
"Quiet, please." Monogram said. "We discovered that this substance has a strong, viral effect on humans, technology and plants, but it does not have a very strong effect on animals. Unfortunately, it is getting stronger all the time. In a few days, unless we find the source of this slime and destroy it… we humans may lose our sanity completely. This means that I will not be able to guide you. I need to trust that all of you will do whatever you can to get everything back to normal. Remember, you're not alone. Work with each other."
Perry frowned.
"I know this is frightening." Monogram said. "We have no idea what is causing this or why. It may be terribly dangerous. But you have to fix this. Please, agents. We need your help."
Kyle the kangaroo stood up as though he wanted to say something.
Carrie the cat stood as well.
Slowly, one by one, all of the agents stood up.
Monogram smiled sadly. "Thank you, agents. Thank you."
...
"I wish I could tell myself this slime stuff wasn't affecting the boys, but yesterday Phineas was eating zucchini." Perry said.
"Yesterday Isabella ate grass." Pinky said. "At first I thought she was doing it for a Fireside-patch thing or whatever, because sometimes she does weird things like that. But it turns out she was just doing it for fun."
"I feel really alone right now." Perry said. "I mean, I can't go to the boys. I can't go to Doofenshmirtz. What am I going to do?"
"Remember what Monogram said." Pinky said. "You're not alone. All the agents have each other."
"I'm surrounded by tons of people." Perry said. "But I'm still as alone as ever."