Okay. I have a question for myself that I want you to hear the answer to (because some of you MIGHT have this question yourselves).
Question: Why the hell am I doing this?
Answer: Boredom. Besides, I got the idea and don't want to lose it.
So! Let us begin.
But first, I must Disclaim this material. Because I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Nor do I own the idea of Fem!Ed. Fem!Ed has been around for far longer than I've been reading/writing fanfiction. So has Fem!Al. And Male!Winry. Yeah. Genderbending! Fun stuff!
Now, watch as I spin a tale of secrets and crushes. . . OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH juicy delicious secrets! Love triangles! Unrequited love! Requited love! YAY!~
Let's do this!
Edward Elric was filled with secrets. His biggest was that he and his brother had committed human transmutation at the ages of eleven and ten, and that was why Edward's right arm and left leg were made of automail and Alphonse was merely a suit of armor bonded with a soul.
The second largest secret? Edward and Alphonse Elric, the most famous brothers in Amestris. . . were sisters.
Yep. Sisters.
Edalia and Alleda Elric had never really embraced their femininity. They were always too interested in alchemy to act like the girls they were. Even Winter Rockbell, Edalia's automail mechanic, sometimes forgot that the two were of the fairer gender.
When Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye came by, they were told that the siblings were brothers: Edward and Alphonse Elric. It was a farce that the sisters had pulled often. With their short hair and non-gender specific clothing, they convinced the entire town of Risembool that they were boys. Pinako Rockbell quite enjoyed this sport and had grown used to introducing the siblings as "the Elric brothers, Edward and Alphonse." Winter had all but forgotten that the two weren't boys, and was therefore quite comfortable in introducing them as such. Both were so comfortable, in fact, that they mistakenly informed the military man and woman that the two were brothers.
When Ed decided to try and become a state alchemist, she continued pretending to be a boy. She didn't know if females were even allowed to sit through the state alchemy exam. Besides, she was used to pretending to be a boy. It made her feel comfortable, safe. She alone knew what she was, out of all of the military men and women. She alone knew her secret.
And having THAT over Mustang was. . . wonderful. She didn't let it show, but knowing that he didn't know she was a girl was incredible.
As a matter of fact, no one did. The doctors that delivered Ed and Al were none other than Sarah and Urey Rockbell, and Pinako kept the papers confirming the girls' births. When Ed confirmed that she and Al wanted to be known as boys, Pinako made the necessary adjustments to the papers of her surrogate granddaughters.
For three years, Edalia Elric had kept up this subterfuge. Still, even girls who aren't all that feminine need to do girly things once in a while. . . and shopping really was therapeutic sometimes.
"Al! I'm going out!" Edalia called to her younger sister.
"Do you have your disguise on, Brother?" Alleda called. She'd gotten used to addressing her older sibling as such, as it made it easier to keep up their pretense.
Edalia laughed. "Of course, Al. I'm never forgetting it again!" She shuddered, remembering The Incident*. "Nope, never again."
"Good, have fun then!"
"Will do!"
Ed crept out of the hotel, careful to avoid being seen by anyone. Her hair was down, reaching just below her shoulder blades. She wore a red T-shirt, a black leather jacket, and a black not-too-mini miniskirt with special automail-disguising gray fleece leggings. Her normal white gloves were on. Her platform boots were on, too, but they were transmuted into low heels. Her purse's zipper pull was shaped like a Flamel. She was aware of the fact that her outfit was similar to her regular clothing, but why do away with a good style? Besides, Ed knew she didn't look very different from the billions of Edward Elric fangirls she seemed to run into everywhere.
She had her cover story ready, of course. She was Ennaline Elric, cousin of Edward Elric. She had convincing fake papers, too, thanks again to the Rockbells.
She wasn't particularly concerned about being found out, though. She was a little preoccupied with. . . other thoughts.
Can't believe the Colonel was being such an ass!
That was the real reason Ed had needed a shopping trip: to rant internally at the annoying bastard that was Roy Mustang.
He thinks he can say whatever he wants to me! "Oh, Fullmetal, it's a good thing my paperwork didn't fall on you, or we never would have found you!" "Hey, Alphonse, where's your brother? Oh, never mind, found him! He's down there!" It's. . . It's just. . . ARGH! He's impossible!
I wonder what he would think if he knew the truth. . .
"Whoa! Hey, watch where you're going!"
Ed jumped. "Oh, I'm sorry!"
"Yeah, you should be!" the man she'd bumped into exclaimed. He leered down at the girl. "You're a Fullmetal Alchemist fangirl, aren't you? You girls think you can do anything, don't you? Just because some guy is the youngest state alchemist ever!" He sounded. . . bitter, almost. "I bet I'm just as good as that phony!"
Ed rolled her eyes. "No, you're not."
The man glared. "You wanna go, bitch?"
Ed shrugged. "I wouldn't mind, but I have the feeling my friends and family would prefer I don't waste my time with a lowlife like you."
"THAT'S IT!"
Ed slipped into a ready stance as the man charged.
But his hits never came.
"Lay off the girl, Daniels!"
Hang on. . . she knew that voice!
"We know you're bitter, but you have to stop attacking Fullmetal Alchemist fangirls."
That one, too!
"True. It's how we keep catching you. Idiot."
Havoc. . . and Fuery. . . and Breda!
"Step away from the girl, Daniels."
Hawkeye. . .
"You're coming in this time for sure."
Falman. . .
Oh shit.
"Are you alright, miss? Don't worry: the man who tried to attack you has been apprehended."
ShitshitshitshitSHIT.
"He's bitter because he feels like he should have become a State Alchemist rather than Fullmetal. It's fine now- Hey, where are you going?!"
Ed ran.
"Wait, miss!"
No, no, no! Not waiting. Waiting equals being caught. Being caught equals being questioned. Being questioned equals being found out. Equivalent exchange. . . so that chain can never start! I've been lying to the state for YEARS now! There would have to be SOME retribution!
Ed was a golden wind, fast and furious and whipping through the crowds of Central like a whirlwind; there, then gone.
Finally, when she thought she was safe. . .
"Excuse me, ma'am, but are you okay?"
If before was shit, now is hell. If there is a hell in this damn world, I am in it.
"Are you alright?" Colonel Roy Mustang asked again.
"No, I'm not," Ed snapped back. "I am in hell."
Mustang looked taken aback. "Ma'am?"
"Everything has gone to hell in the space of a few minutes," Ed continued, turning towards the Colonel. Colonel Bastard. . .
"You look. . . familiar," Mustang ventured, realizing that this girl looked remarkably like Fullmetal himself.
Ed rolled her eyes. "Unsurprising. You're the Flame Alchemist, Colonel Roy Mustang. I know who you are."
Mustang was now completely nonplussed. Ed could see it in his eyes. "Well, you know me. . . but who are you?"
Ed smirked. "Ennaline. Ennaline Elric."
All pretenses Mustang had been keeping up dropped. "What?"
Ed laughed evilly. "Yes, I said Elric. Ask Ed and Al if you want more info on me. . ." Ed held up her hands and made air quote. "Colonel Bastard."
And she ran off, leaving a gobsmacked Flame Colonel in her wake, as well as an incredibly confused mix of civilians and military officers.
Hehehe. . . wait until they find out, Edo-chan. Just you wait. . .
YAY!~
This is fun.
*The Incident: Ed almost got caught because she was an idiot. In fact, Paninya found out, but she swore to keep it a secret.
So, yeah. That's all, folks!
Love ya! lulu