Note: I don't own Soul Calibur or any of its characters. I know you're probably tired of hearing that, but I have to put this. I would also like to note that this might offend some deep Raphael fans. I want you to know that I am also a Raph fan. I just have sadistic humor so don't burn me.
It all starts when Raphael was in his bedroom. He was calmly sitting in his chair, reading his favorite literature. It was finally over. He finally got Soul Edge to complete his task. Just as he was getting use to the calm new environment, he heard someone call him.
"DADDY!" he heard someone scream from another room. He quickly jumped up from his seat. Amy was calling him.
"DADDY!" he heard her scream again. He ran to her room.
He quickly opened the door to see what she was screaming about. Amy was standing in the corner of the room in front of a mirror. "What's wrong?" he asked frantically, thinking that something was serious. She turned around to look at him. Her eyes were full of tears.
"There's a bump on my forehead and I don't know how it got there!" she said quickly, sucking up her tear at the end of the sentence. Raphael walked up to her to see what she was talking about.
"What do you mean? I don't see anything," he said, searching for the bump on her face. Amy pointed at small pimple on her forehead.
"THAT! IT'S HIDEOUS!" she screamed. Raphael stared at the pimple, his eyebrow raised. After thinking in his head of how utterly stupid the situation was getting, he finally walked out of the room without saying another word.
The next day, he was sitting down reading his literature again. Just when he was getting to the good part of story, he suddenly heard it again.
"DADDY!" he heard Amy scream once again. Instead of getting up and frantically running into her room like he did last time, he simply lied down his book.
"What is it this time, Amy?" he said, trying as best as he could to hide the annoyance in his voice.
"I'M BLEEDING!" she yelled. That quickly got his attention. He got up and ran to her room.
Raphael got to her room with a rag in his hand. Amy was covering herself up with a blanket. She had a freaked out stare on her face. "Where are you bleeding?" Raphael asked. Amy's eyes went wider.
"You don't want to know," she said.
"But I need to know. If you're bleeding I need to treat the wound," he said.
"No, you REALLY don't want to know," she said. Raphael was getting a little annoyed,
"You have to tell me where it is," he said. She rapidly shook her head.
"It's too embarrassing!" she said. Raphael was starting to get an idea.
"Well, do you want to whisper it to me? At least give me a hint?" he asked. She thought about it, then nodded. Raphael walked up to her and leaned his ear towards her. She went up to his ear and told him. His eyes shot wide.
"Oh my! Where you kicked or something?" he asked.
"No," she said.
"Does it hurt?" he asked.
"No," she said. Raphael was confused. Amy started crying.
"AM I GOING TO DIE?" she asked.
"...No," Raphael said, walking out of the room in embarrassment. Raphael went around to look for a maid.
He found one of the maids. "Can you help me?" he asked. She turned her head to him.
"What's the problem?" she asked.
"It's Amy. She's bleeding in a...feminine area..." he said, blushing. She cleared her throat.
"I'll take care of it," she said.
A week later, Raphael was sitting in a room, minding his own business, when Amy walked by. He glanced at her for a second, then stopped and took a second glance. There was something different that he really didn't want to notice, but did. He had to say something about it.
"Um, Amy?" he asked. She turned her head.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Are you stuffing your shirt?" he asked. Her eyes went a little wide, then she slowly shook her head. At that moment, Raphael's eyes went wide. That could only mean one thing. Due to the embarrassment he felt in the situation, he walked out of the room.
That night, he decided to finally talk to her to at least make her feel better about what was going on. "Amy, could you come in here for a moment?" he said from his bedroom. She walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed. He cleared his throat and began to speak.
"Amy, I can see that you are now changing. You are now becoming an adult. I remember when I began to change. It's like it was yesterday. One day I'm a short young little lad, until all of the suddenly I got taller, I started growing hair on my crotch, my testicles dropped and my voice began to crack, and every time I looked at or thought of women I had the powerful urge to-"
"Daddy...I really didn't want to know that," she said with a freaked out stare.
"I only wanted to do 'nice' things to the women," he said.
"What kind of nice things?" she asked, all though not wanting to know what he meant. Raphael began to explain.
"When a man and a women are alone in a bedroom together, they want to-"
"SHUT UP!" Amy screamed, covering her ears. Raphael's mind went straight again.
"Maybe I shouldn't tell you about that. Really the point I wanted to make was that even though I'm not biologically your father, I look at you like a father would at their daughter. I'm protective of you at times when I need to be. I'm worried for you at the times when I need to be, but right now I'm just scared out of my mind...of coarse every American dad would be," he said.
"But dad...we're French," Amy said. Raphael quickly covered her mouth.
"Don't let them hear you say that! They'll come in and cut me if they hear that!" he said. Amy raised her eyebrow. Raphael removed his hand from her mouth and cleared his throat.
"The point is, I'm just scared now that you're changing," he said. Amy nodded with understanding.
"We're good now that we got that settled," he said. She got up to go to her room. Just as she was about to she turned around. "Daddy?" she asked.
"Yes?" he asked, smiling.
"Lately I have felt different around boys and you're around a lot more and I like guys and there's you and...I'M INFATUATED BY YOU!" she screamed. Raphael's eyes shot wide. It was quiet in the room for several minutes.
"...I'm getting you a boyfriend," he finally said.