5/3/05

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Contains spoilers for Colonial Day and KLG 1, as well as sexual situations (Kara/Baltar/psuedo-Lee).

Much of the night was a fragmented, hazy blur, but a few images and thoughts stuck out clearly in her mind. The dress first of all, she really loved that dress. She had bought it almost six months ago when the Galactica had made a port of call at the Tauron spacedock. Several of the crewmembers had been granted shore leave and Kara had gone shopping. This was the first opportunity she'd gotten to wear it. That stunned look on Lee's face, alone, had made the exorbitant price of the dress worthwhile. For the first time in... she couldn't remember how long, she'd actually felt pretty.

Oh, sure, she was fully aware that he'd probably only said those things to be nice. Men were programmed to say complimentary things to a woman who had obviously made an effort to improve her appearance, especially a woman who didn't necessarily make that effort on a regular basis. But it had still felt nice and it had taken away the sting from that snide remark he'd made about her hygiene earlier.

And, of course, Lee had looked fabulous in his dress uniform. But then, as she had begun to notice in recent weeks, Lee could somehow manage to make even a pair of cut-off sweat pants look sexy. But she couldn't deny that he looked particularly amazing in the dress uniform. She loved the way the diagonal sash emphasized his nice shoulders and seemed to naturally lead the eyes down to the belt and his trim waist.

Their few dances together had also been memorable. Even now, some 12 hours later, she could still almost feel the warmth of his hands on her hips, as it had seeped through the thin fabric of her dress. It's funny, she hadn't really been aware of it at the time. She had simply been enjoying a dance with a friend, a very attractive friend, yes, but still only a friend. But somewhere during the course of the night, she didn't remember exactly when, that had all changed... No, that wasn't right, she did remember precisely when her entire perception of Lee Adama had shifted...

The night was still young; she and Lee were sharing their second dance of the evening. Dr. Baltar had stepped up and politely cut in. Lee had graciously stepped aside, finishing the remainder of the dance with Cally. When the song ended, Kara started to leave the floor, but Gaius persuaded her to stay for another dance. She didn't mind. She liked to dance.

Three songs later, she finally pleaded that she needed a rest and a drink, and they moved a table away from the dance floor. While Gaius thoughtfully went to the bar to get their drinks, Kara looked around for Lee. She didn't see him at any of the tables, nor was he on the dance floor. Spying Adama standing chatting with Col. Tigh and his wife, Kara headed over to the man.

"Hey, where's Lee?" she asked.

"He went back to the Galactica," Adama answered.

"What? Already! It's still way early!"

"He said he was tired. The two of you had a long and difficult day. Aren't you tired?"

"Yeah, but then I didn't get my ass kicked in a fight I started!" she said with savage glee. "Sorry, just because Lee's a wuss, doesn't mean that I'm one too. I mean, when's the next time we're going to have an opportunity to enjoy ourselves like this? Nope, I plan on staying until they throw my ass out!"

"Well, have a good time," the elder Adama said with an indulgent smile.

Seeing that Gaius had returned with their drinks, Kara went back to join him. She and the scientist spent much of the remaining evening together. She found the man surprisingly attentive to her, which was incredibly flattering to any female. And she had always had respect for any man who could keep up with her when she was drinking. If she had been with Lee, she would have drunk him under the table hours ago, even despite his weight advantage. But then, Lee didn't drink hard liquor much.

As she had proclaimed, she and Baltar were among the last of the revelers to leave the luxury liner. As they boarded the last shuttle back to the Galactica, the scientist asked, "Would you like to come back to my room for a nightcap? I have some ambrosia."

"Sure," Kara said, with a smile. "It's still too early to go to bed."

As she had fully expected, the nightcap had lead to 'other' things, which was okay with her. She hadn't been with anyone since Zac's death. It had been a long, lonely two years and considering what they'd all been dealing with this past month, she desperately wanted... needed this human contact.

The adult portion of the evening's entertainment began promisingly enough. The kissing was quite enjoyable, as was the light petting, but as things progressed, the scientist became increasingly fixated on her breasts and she quickly began to lose interest. Why were so many men so fascinated with women's breasts? I mean, there were other erogenous zones on the female body. The base of the neck was quite nice, as were the inner thighs, but no, so many men seemed to just go right for the breasts.

She supposed that she should say something, drop some hints that he should move on to other body parts, but that just seemed like too much effort. So, she simply let him fondle to his heart's content and she let her mind wander.

She remembered when she and Zac had first started sleeping together. He had not had that much experience, so she had been able to teach him exactly what she liked, without having to force him to unlearn too many bad habits. He had been eager to please and quick to learn and it had been quite nice. She had gotten used to having someone simply know her body, without her having to vocalize her needs or preferences.

Her mind continued to drift along its nostalgic path and she remembered a conversation she and Zac had had one evening while drinking and snuggling in bed. They had somehow, she didn't remember how, gotten on the subject of what Lee would be like as a lover. Zac, of course, had found the entire topic highly amusing, claiming that he simply could not wrap his brain around the idea of his uptight brother making 'goo-goo' eyes at any woman or whispering sweet-nothings in her ear, never mind actually having sex with her.

"Come on, this is Lee we're talking about," Zac had said, still chuckling. "When he finally decided to have sex for the first time, after carefully weighing all the pros and cons, of course, he probably went out and bought a damn manual on how to do it properly."

At the time Kara had agreed and the two had shared a good laugh at the absent Lee's expense. But now, she suddenly found that the joke wasn't so funny anymore. This past month, Kara had spent more time with Lee than she had in several years and she now found herself again wondering what he would be like as a lover... She couldn't see him being one of those clingy types that always have to hold your hand and call you three or four times a day. Nor could she see him acting aloof and disinterested, one of those men who were perpetually afraid of commitment. No, she didn't see Lee having a problem with commitment, but intimacy, perhaps...

She imagined that he would probably be similar to Zac as a lover, conscientious and mindful of the needs and desires of his partner. And if he had read a manual, as she and Zac had suspected, he would know not to devote too much time on the breasts.

As if in response to her thoughts, Gaius finally did seem to grow tired of her breasts. They lay back on the narrow bed and for a moment the thought that they were not using any protection flashed briefly through her mind. But then it seemed somehow ludicrous that, after facing the Cylons in combat, she would die from contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Yes, it was a childish rationalization, but drunk as she was, it seemed logical in the moment. She wasn't worried about pregnancy. She had continued with her birth control even after Zac's death. She wasn't sure why, except that it had simply become habit. And considering that it may not be available to her for much longer, she figured she should take advantage of it while she still could.

Kara's distracted disinterest continued even as Gaius began making love to her. She just couldn't seem to keep her mind on the man above her. She wasn't sure why. She was attracted to him. He intrigued her. He seemed so supremely self-confident in his personal charm and yet, seemed hesitant and awkward in doing his job. In many ways he was the complete opposite of Lee, who was confident in his abilities on the job, but was ill-at-ease in personal matters. Lee was conscientious, idealistic, and a natural leader. Gaius was arrogant, cynical, and a loner... Is that what draws me to him? I see myself in him?

Why had Lee left the party so damn early? she asked herself yet again. For some reason this was still bothering her. He deserves to relax and have some fun as much as everyone else. Why won't he allow himself that luxury? Why does he always act like he's in competition with his father? He needs to lighten up... He needs to get laid.

With this thought and Gaius' ministrations to provide inspiration, her thoughts returned to her speculations about Lee as a lover. She knew from past experience that he was actually surprisingly ticklish. Would he still be so, in intimate situations? Eyes closed, she imagined running her fingertips lightly along his sides, felt the small ridges of muscle and rib ripple beneath them. She imagined the soft gasp that would escape his lips as his body shivered slightly at this stimulation.

Losing herself in the fantasy, she began to respond with more enthusiasm to her lover's touch. Bending her knees, she cradled the strong body as it moved between her thighs. She ran her hands up the wonderfully toned arms. She felt him nuzzle his face against her neck and this time it was she who shivered as his warm breath played lightly across the sensitive skin.

Gliding her hands sensuously over the muscled body and savoring the feel of every firm inch she could reach, Kara almost missed the ever-so-soft groan that slipped past his tight control and tumbled from his lips. That small sound was more erotic to her than anything she had ever previously heard and it seemed to travel straight to her groin. She arched her hips up to meet him with a soft sigh of her own.

Lee was rarely demonstrative and frequently self-conscious. No, he would never be one of those men who vented his pleasure loudly for the world to hear or spoke in lavish praise, or graphic terms, of his partner during the act. No, she had known that Lee would be nearly silent during sex, with the exception of his ragged breathing, which would be beyond even his control. So, she took that small groan as an indication of victory that she had successfully wrung from his body.

Would he be shocked if one of his partners were to behave in the demonstrative manner which he worked so hard to control? Would it please or embarrass him to hear his own name cried out in the heights of passion? She suspected that it would be the latter and in that sadistic portion of her mind, which was a fairly sizable portion, she thought that it would do him some good to have his world rocked, just a bit.

"Oh, yes, Lee!" she moaned loudly. "Lee!"

Abruptly all movements above her stopped. This was not the response Kara had expected. She had expected some embarrassment, perhaps shock, but not this. Surely not even Lee was so sensitive as to be offended by that. She opened her eyes and gazed up into a pair of startled, slightly hurt, brown eyes, not the blue ones she had been picturing in her mind... oh, yeah, Gaius.

Oh, frak.

Kara sat on the floor of the shower stall, letting the hot water beat down on her. It would automatically shut off in a minute or so. She had gone straight to the bathroom near her state room after she had fled from Baltar's room. She wanted to wash the smeared make-up and the smell of sex off of her before she went to her rack. Suddenly she couldn't stand the thought of Lee possibly smelling Baltar on her skin.

What the hell is the matter with me? she asked herself. I was fantasizing about Lee, my former fiancé's brother, my friend. This is so unacceptable, for so many reasons, not the least of which is, what would Adama say? I killed one of his sons, now I'm going for the other one? Oh Gods, why am I such a screw-up? They are both going to hate me.

I was drunk, she told herself. I was drunk and lonely and needed to comfort myself... except that I was already with a handsome, desirable man. Why did I feel the need to fantasize about a different one? One that I can't have, that I don't deserve.

As if to underscore that last thought, the water abruptly shut off, leaving her shivering. Quickly toweling off, she went to her state room and quietly donned the sweats and tanks she slept in. As she was about to climb into her rack, she glanced over at Lee's, which was across the aisle from hers. The curtain was partially pulled back and he was lying facing the aisle way. Had he been watching for her return? If he had been, he was asleep now, looking very young and peaceful.

No, she told herself firmly, he had probably been watching to make sure that all of his pilots returned from Cloud 9 safely and, since she was obviously the last one, he had been watching for her, but it had been nothing personal. Resolutely turning her back on him, she climbed into bed and pulled the curtain of her rack closed.

THE END