So, I've been reading a lot of DA:I fanfiction and I am simply in love with Cullen. I haven't played the game yet, it's going to be my Christmas gift, so the story is a little AU. Every story I read, Cullen and the Inquisitor almost instantly fall in love, so I wanted to picture a place where they didn't get along in the beginning, but learn to respect and adore each other.
Also, it must be really lonely having to wait for her to come back, worrying all the time.
I hope you enjoy it. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age Inquisition, it belongs only to BioWare, but I do love it with all my heart and was really glad to play in this world for a while.
Time was not a kind thing, Cullen had concluded. It was the most cruel and ironic things of all. When you wanted time to go slow, it ran like its life depended on it; when you needed time to go faster, an hour seemed like less than a second. It was just simply painfully cruel. End of story.
The sky from his window glowed with stars, shining bright above his confused and frustrated head, making all of his worries seem trivial. So the man stared to the immensity like he did every day; every day his companions were away. Every day she was away from Skyhold, where she belongs.
When the Inquisition recruited him at Kirkwall, granting Cullen the magnificent honor that was being a Commander, thank you very much, it didn't cross his mind that most of his days would consist of worrying incessantly. Commander or not, templar or not, nothing warned him of the impending feelings that struck him.
Cullen sighed as he raised the glass with wine to his lips, an useless act to ease his mind and heart, to distract his thoughts of their beloved, his beloved, Inquisitor.
He found it quite funny how their relationship had changed over the months they spent together working to make this plan to save the world work. At first Lady Trevelyan did not like him at all. Not one bit. And he reciprocated her feelings. The memory burned fresh on his memory, like it had happened only moments ago and Cullen found himself lettings his thoughts wander to the past.
Lady Seeker had arrived with the prisoner after they successfully stabilized the Breach, postponing the threat that loomed over their head, like a monster ready to attack without a warning. She was a tiny thing, that woman. What was her name? He forgot.
Tre... Trevelyan, that's right, he had heard the name before, a noble house, if he wasn't mistaken. But politics were not his thing, he could be wrong.
The former prisoner barely reached his shoulder, long light brown hair was contained in a messy braid, he assumed from the fighting, she probably kept it like that to keep it off her face. The woman's piercing blue-grayish eyes ever so attentive felt like burning holes in his face, from how attentively she was watching him.
"This is the Commander of our military forces, Cullen." Cassandra introduced him, but Cullen felt it wasn't needed, for somehow it seemed like they knew each other already. No words were spoken, only a nod share, the air heavy as they glared at each other, he distrusted her for obvious reasons. The sole survivor of the massacre in the Conclave, with a green left hand glowing dangerously. And she, well, they were her guards once, it was clear the woman wouldn't trust them easily.
Cullen and the Inquisitor stood in opposites sides when the council was summoned to a meeting, and of course the Commander thought it was going to be, to say the least, interesting to see Trevelyan's insight on the situation and how she was going to handle everything. He felt himself expecting it, watching her from his position not too close to the table with the maps.
Nightingale and Josephine were there, as well as Cassandra, sharing their opinions about which company they should approach for help:, the rebel mages or the templars. And he was quite open about his lack of trust in the mages, they were mages after all.
"Nothing more to expect from an ex-templar like yourself, ser. If your view on this holds nothing more than resent and disrespect for the kind, please refrain from making it vocal. We have too many nut heads on our toes as it is." It was the first time the Inquisitor spoke directly to him, her tone harsh and cold, blue eyes piercing through his hazel ones. Animosity was written in stone between them.
She was no mage, but a warrior, so comprehension failed to reach him as he pondered as to why the woman was against him. Cullen didn't hate the mages, only distrusted the power they held and their capability to not burst like a pinless grenade ready to burst and hurt everyone around them.
They bickered like an old couple, truth be said. The more he thought about it, the more he saw the truth in the statement. One would surely disagree if the other said the sky was blue, only for the pure pleasure and stubbornness of not granting the victory.
It was only when he found her sitting alone in the partially destroyed fountain they had somewhere in Skyhold that he got to know Trevelyan better.
She was there, sitting on the bench alone, the rare light of the sun illuminating her features as she looked to Andraste's figure in the fountain. Cullen approached quietly, wanting to go unnoticed, but the sound of her voice made him stop.
"Do you ever wonder...? What it must have been like for her?" The Inquisitor did not turn nor made a move to acknowledge him, only went on speaking absently. "She was a normal person, and then, not anymore. The eyes of the world turned to her, tracking every one of the steps she took, every ears expecting words to come out of her mouth. The right words. It must have been difficult."
His feet led him to the bench she sat and for the first time they did not argue, but kept each other company, Cullen knew the woman was talking more about herself than anything else, he sympathized with her. "Andraste was never a normal person, it was her fate. She had something within her since the day she was born. Just like you do. What happened to you is... Not something I fully understand, but it has its reasons. And it led you to us and gives us hope that maybe, just maybe, we can make things right."
"And if we can't...?" Trevelyan's voice was low, gentle, not something the young man was used to hear being directed at him, it caught him off guard. "We can. And we will. You are not alone in this, Trevelyan, we will hold some of the weight you have on your shoulders."
Silence. For some time the only sound audible was the wind blowing, making her hair fly on her face, all Cullen could do was stare, allowing himself to lower his guard for the first time and try to understand the woman sitting next to him. She was just human, not a machine, or a God, she was just human.
"My brother was a mage, you know...? My family was not very thrilled about it, being the good Andrastians and Chantry supporters they are… Were. He was sent to the Circle as soon as the magic begun to show. Just a little kid, barely five years old at the time. I was angry at my father for letting it happen, for sending him without letting me say goodbye."
It explained why she was so adamant to help mages whenever she could. Cullen waited patiently for Trevelyan to continue, his somewhat tender gaze on her.
"Years after he left, I think he was thirteen then, a letter came to our house, addressed to my father. It took me a great effort to discover its content." She snorted at the memory, a heartbreaking smile on her lips, he noticed how beautifully shaped they were, wait, what? No. He didn't notice that at all, he would never. Cullen shook his head to dismiss the thoughts and returned his attention to the story, a blush appearing on his face.
"A fight occurred inside the Circle. They accused my brother of using magic against the templars and hurting one of them, without a reason, and for that he was killed. Of course I didn't believe it, my brother was not aggressive, he liked healing magic, the nature. I had been keeping contact with him in secret, so I wrote to one of his friends he had mentioned, asking what had really happened that night."
"One templar assaulted a girl, abused her, and my brother caught him in the act, made him stop and was forced to use magic to defend himself and the poor girl. They killed him anyway. Magic must be used for the man, never to rule over him. Something like that, I stopped reading the Chant soon after he was taken."
Cullen felt like something had crushed his heart and a lump formed on his throat. Without thinking straight he reached for one of the Inquisitor's hand, holding the soft, but calloused tiny hand with his bigger one, and was surprised when she didn't pull away. Words were missing, but the smile she gave him showed they weren't needed. And for that smile, his heart skipped the first beat of so many more to follow.
They had held hands many more times after that encounter, a brush, a touch of affection or protection, he never had mustered the courage to try something deeper that really showed his feelings toward her.
He would, soon, Cullen promised himself. Yes, soon.
The man's thoughts were interrupted when someone knocked on his door with urgency. The Commander set down his glass and made his way to open the door, only to find Iron Bull standing on the hall, looking pale and haunted. So, if he was there, that meant the Inquisitor was back from her mission, so why hasn't she looked for him, but sent Iron Bull instead?
"Bull? What happened?" Cullen asked suspiciously as the Qunary before him paced nervously, replying a hushed "Follow me" before storming out from the way he had probably come from. Disquiet grew inside of him, a feeling that something was terribly wrong was beginning to make the hair from his neck stand up, but he simply followed. Answers were soon going to be acquired.
Cullen recognized the way to the Inquisitor's chamber, a much nicer place than his, and his heart stopped and dropped at the sight he had been having nightmares recently. Trevelyan was lying on her bed, with Dorian and Solas on both sides of her bed, looking drained of all mana they had inside of them. Her small body lied there lifeless, her bloodied chest barely moving as shallow breathes escaped her lips.
"What happened?" He asked, but no one answered. "What in the Maker's name happened? She left in one piece and now she is like that. Someone explain, now!" His Commander's voice must have had an effect, for Dorian looked at him, the smug look wiped out of his face, only concern covered his features.
"We were surrounded while in a village. Red-Templars came from everywhere. We had to take the people to safety... But Evelyn... She had to stay back and help a kid that fell... She had to... It happened too quickly for any of us to help..."
A Red-Templar... A Templar had done that to her. As if her memories of them weren't bad enough. "Can she be healed?" Cullen asked, his voice low and cold. "We did everything we could, but she's lost too much blood... She needs rest now, Commander."
"Out." Cullen barked, receiving looks of disbelief. "If you are not needed, leave. Trevelyan needs to rest and that will not happen if ten people surround her bed. Leave, now." And they did, only leaving him and Dorian in the room.
And now he sat next to her bed, for Maker knows how many days, the chair he had been stationed had acquired a special place on his heart, for it had been his bed for the time she was unconscious.
He was used to the waiting. He waited for her to return after every mission, he waited to the war to be over, he waited for peace. And now he waited for her to come back to him, to stay alive so he could finally make his feelings for her known, for it was too clear he felt them strong as ever inside of him.
Cullen felt his mind slipping from tiredness, but a movement caught his attention and he sat straight, looking at the woman lying on the bed, her eyes flustered open and a hand had made its way to her forehead as she moaned in pain. "My body hurts..."
"Hello to you too, Inquisitor." He kicked himself mentally for his first words, he probably should had considered them more carefully, but was relieved when she chuckled and turned her head to face him, a breathless sound coming from her mouth, as if the woman was relieved to see him. "Cullen..."
The Commander sat closer, their eyes meeting in a silent conversation. "What happened...?" Trevelyan asked weakly while trying to sit, he helped her as gently as possible. "You were hurt during the last mission, quite badly, I... We almost lost you..."
"Is the kid alright?" Typical, her first concern wasn't with her, he probably should scold her for that, but later. "He is fine, not a scratch... But you, my lady..." It was going to leave a scar, he was sure, a templar's blade had scarred her body, it was a thought he couldn't bear to have right now. It would drive him mad.
"I am fine now... For how long have I been out? A year? Maker... You have a beard..." Trevelyan chuckled and Cullen felt himself blushing, well, at least the beard would hide that. He was stunned when a cold hand touched his cheek, caressing the exposed skin and tracing the place his scar was hidden and messing withthe hair that had just been mocked by its owner. Trevelyan had a gentle touch, one he would never get tired of feeling. "Are you going to lecture me...?"
He closed his eyes for a second, appreciating her touch, then held her hand with his tenderly. "I was considering it... But no. It wouldn't have been you if you didn't help the kid and scared us all. I will leave it to Cassandra or Josephine."
She collected her hand and Cullen missed its warmth immediately. "I am sorry I scared all of you…" She whispered, eyes downcast. The Commander held her hand once more, this time more firmly so she wouldn't be able to snatch it away from his gentle grasp. "You almost gave me a heart attack, Evelyn…" Her name rolled on his tongue perfectly and Cullen felt his cheeks burning.
Slowly Trevelyan raised her eyes to meet his, her intense blue eyes locked on his warm hazel ones, making his breath become harder as the air left his mouth. His heart skipped a beat when he realized he had leaned forward and the distance between their faces was now almost inexistent. His eyes gazed on her lips for a second, so close now that he could almost taste them.
Her eyes slowly closed as he prepared to close the distance between them, licking his lips nervously as he did so, but the door burst open and Cullen went flying back to the chair and Evelyn also backed away, both feeling their faces burn in flames.
"Did I interrupt something?" Cassandra asked, a confused look on her face as she stared at them.
The Commander coughed and got up, still blushing like mad. "No, I was just leaving. Lady Tr… Evelyn." He bowed slightly before leaving the room, a smile playing on his lips as he noticed the killer look Evelyn was giving an innocent Cassandra. It would have to wait and he would wait eagerly for the moment when they would meet in private.
Perhaps waiting was not a bad thing after all, if you have something worth waiting for.
Thaat's it. Just a short story, I hope I can find the time to write a longer one. :)
Thank you for reading!