TITLE: The Maddest Trick A Man Can Ever Play
SUMMARY: Batman does not celebrate New Year's Eve. But Superman does.
DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to DC Comics. I just fantasize about them.
NOTES: Fanfic100 #95, New Year and Psych30 #21, Rationalization
"Master Bruce..." Alfred sounded like he was at his wit's end when Clark strolled down the steps into the Cave, which was as damp and uncomfortable as ever.

"Alfred, as I have said for the past hour, I am not going to waste New Year's Eve at some ball when there will be the usual crime going on. I'll send a check to whatever charity it is, but that's it." Bruce hadn't moved from his position standing at the main computer or even looked up. "What are you doing here, Clark?"

Clark shrugged. He'd given up trying to figure out Bruce's tricks years previously. "I'm attending the ball tonight and Alfred pointed out I could change here and ride with you."

Bruce whirled, face taut and white. "I've got a possible serial killer out there, plus the usual madness and you expect me to be Bruce Wayne?"

Clark smiled at Alfred and the older man sighed as he trudged up the stairs. When Clark heard the clock door snick shut, he turned to look at Bruce, genial smile firmly in place.

Bruce glared, every dangerous inch of him poised for battle.

Clark leaned against a cabinet he knew held spare uniforms, hands tucked in his pockets, and continued to smile, projecting genial with all his might.

Bruce glared harder, crossing his arms. "I'm not going."

"Okay," Clark said with a shrug, smile undimmed.

Bruce opened his mouth to argue, then shut it when he realized Clark wasn't arguing. His eyes narrowed. "What are you up to?"

Clark widened his smile a trifle. "Nothing, Bruce. I'm just standing here."

Bruce looked suspicious. "Right. I'll just...go back to work then." He waited a beat, but when Clark didn't move, Bruce sat back down at the computer.

It wasn't entirely a ruse, Clark thought as he watched Bruce's quicksilver thoughts shuffle and reshuffle evidence, data, and theories on the giant screens. There was something intensely sexy about watching Bruce work and usually he couldn't pay as much attention as he'd like. After all, it wouldn't do for Superman to be caught mooning over Batman like a teenage girl with a crush.

It took almost exactly as long as he'd predicted--after half an hour, Bruce started to slow in his work, clicking on the wrong portion of the screen and developing a twitch in one shoulder.

Suppressing a grin, Clark waited.

Bruce's hands slowed, then stopped. After a full two minutes staring at the screen, he turned the chair around. "What are you doing?"

"I'm watching you work. What does it look like?" Clark raised his eyebrows in a parody of innocence he knew would make Bruce fume.

"Clark."

The low growl was exactly the sign he'd been looking for, and Clark gave up his relaxed pose. Stalking forward, he grabbed Bruce's shoulders and pulled him up and forward into a searing kiss. Bruce struggled for a second, but finally relaxed into the kiss, grabbing Clark's shirt and pulling him closer.

When Clark let go, Bruce's breathing was fast and his pulse sounded like a jackhammer to superhearing.

Clark smiled at him again, but his time allowed the Man of Steel to show through. "It is New Year's Eve. I would like to attend this charity ball with you and on the stroke of midnight kiss you so hard you forget your name."

Swallowing, Bruce appeared speechless--possibly the first time that had ever occurred in Clark's presence. Maybe the first time ever.

"Does this plan meet with your approval?" Clark asked.

Bruce closed his eyes, then opened them again. "Patrol--"

"Will be done by some of the many operatives you have on tap. And if that's not sufficient, I will make several speed circuits over the city throughout the course of the evening to ensure all is quiet."

Bruce started to say something and Clark took the opportunity to kiss him again--a kiss full of tongue and heat and strength and promise.

This time when they broke off, Bruce glared at him. "I won't make a habit of this."

"Of course not," Clark said.

"And when you do your overflights, you'll stay out of range of eyes and cameras."

"Naturally."

Bruce glared. "But you should know I'm only agreeing to this because otherwise you and Alfred will hound me for hours and waste the whole day."

"Of course." Clark smiled, ever gracious in victory.

"Are you smirking?"

Clark put a hand to his chest. "Does Superman smirk?"

"No, but Clark does."

"What can I say?" Clark shrugged. "I'm a man of many talents."

Bruce grinned. "And if I have to go to this ridiculous ball, you're going to demonstrate every one of those talents to me later to make up for it." And he turned back to the computer.

Clark blinked. For some reason, he suddenly felt as if he'd been outmaneuvered...

--end--