Full Summary:
Dean gets hit by a truck in mid-morning traffic and as a result suffers lifelong injuries. On his road to recovery he begins to depend on opiates and narcotics to keep the pain at bay, terrified of dealing with the raw pain after his brush with it during his time in the hospital. With the support of his brother, Bobby, and a concerned doctor Dean isn't sure if that will be enough. Putting up a face and convincing others that he's fine has everyone fooled but behind closed doors Dean spirals further and further into his addiction. Can he be saved before he's lost completely?
Hey folks, so this is my first Destiel fic and I've had so many ideas for such a long time until I finally settled on one that hits close to home, something that I know from experience. Not that I don't like writing fiction and creating a new world with new characters, but I also know that what makes a compelling story comes from a real place in one way or another. I've recently battled, and still battling, against my own addiction to opiates and narcotics due to a surgery and lifelong diagnosis, fluctuating from getting sober and relapsing. So consider this a trigger warning to those who need it as I will be writing from my own experience and of others. Pain can change who a person is so much and I cannot stress enough that I don't condone the abuse of narcotics or pain management, or anything addictive really. I can see the irony in giving advice when I myself have a hard time keeping to it but if I can dissuade someone from going down the same path I did, that many have followed, then I've done some good. Also I don't have a person to review and edit my works so, if you see any mistakes I apologize in advance. I try my best to go through my writing to make sure it's as correct as possible but, I'm only human.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story and ask you leave a review once you're done. I'd love to hear what you think.
Be kind.
-Bel
I do not own Supernatural.
Dean woke up as he usually did. His alarm blaring one of his favorite songs, the guitar riff loud and nearly blowing out the speakers with its intense volume. He grunted in response and rolled over to slam his hand on the nightstand repeatedly until finally finding and hitting the alarm off, his hand flopping back uselessly to his side. He yawned into his pillow before rolling onto his back and blinking lazily up at his ceiling, sleep still clinging to his eyes and threatening to lull him back to whatever he was dreaming about. He grunted again, almost defiantly, to wake himself up and threw his legs over his bed sitting up straight, stretching as loudly as he could before getting up and starting his morning routine.
"Wakey, wakey eggs and bakey." he mumbled to himself.
It was like clockwork really. Brush teeth, use toilet, shower, get dressed, make breakfast, watch the morning news to find out about the traffic, gather his things for work and leave by 7am.
Not 6:59, not 7:01. Always 7 on the dot.
He left his condo quickly, drumming his fingers to a song stuck in his head as he took the stairs down to the parking garage under the apartment building. Dean pushed the heavy door that led to the garage and was greeted with the cool morning chill of the city, the smell of fog heavy in the air and it woke Dean up better than any cup of coffee he'd drink. His eyes gave a quick scan over the parked cars until he saw his beloved Chevy Impala, the black paint of the car shining in anticipation to be driven under the harsh lighting of the florescent lights. Dean grinned and lightly jogged over to his most prized possession, his fingers lightly playing over the hood of the car to caress the cool metal while his other hand fished the keys from his pocket, eager to hit the road to work.
"Mornin' baby, how'd you sleep hm? Ready to show these poor tasteless city folks how to drive a real car?" He chuckled to himself before opening the driver's seat and revved up the classic car, peeling out of the garage and hit the usual route to his work, music blasting and his fingers drumming along to the songs. The city was always busy in the morning but for some reason it was busier than usual,the rush hour hectic even for a Monday. He was half way through an impressive display of air guitar when his phone went off, the vibration rattling horribly off the leather seat next to him. He didn't answer until he finished the riff, not bothering to look at who was calling.
"Winchester, the man, myth and legend." he replied cheerily.
"Seriously? You're still using that line when answering the phone?" Dean could picture the ever famous bitch face his brother gave him when he was annoyed with Dean. He couldn't help but grin.
"Sammy! Good mornin' to you too sunshine. How's it hangin', still a little to the left?"
"Ugh, dude...you know our relationship as brothers is seriously weird when you think that's an okay question to ask."
Dean chuckled and switched his phone to speakerphone, turning down the volume so he could hear his brother.
"Why are you callin' me when I'm making my way to the office? I'll see you in like...30 minutes."
"Yeah, about that. I need you to scope out a potential lot somewhere out in Daly City to set up a store front. I keep hearing one thing from the landlord and another from the actual real estate company. I'd do it myself but I'm kinda wrapped up in something and my assistant isn't here yet."
Dean rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile, his fingers dancing over the steering wheel, his heart rate picking up at the thought of going out onto the freeway and stretching his baby's wheels. It wouldn't be a long drive but a drive nonetheless.
"Yeah why not, text me the address and I'll send you some pictures. Need me to get anything else while I'm out there?"
"Nah, just send me some pictures and tell me what you think about the neighborhood. And try not to get distracted by the Krispy Kreme that's out there. Please. Last thing we need is a repeat of the donut fiasco of 2010."
"No promises. But you owe me for disrupting my carefully scheduled route to work. I won't be able to chat up that new cook we got for the company kitchen, he's kinda adorable. Think he has a sister for you?"
"Oh my god Dean, shut up already." and with that Sam ended the call leaving Dean laughing and changing his route to hit the freeway to make his way towards the plot Sam was interested in.
They had just managed to seal the deal with a few places here in the city as well as some of the outer towns but had yet to find a suitable area more south of the city, not many available plots for sale. Dean guessed not a lot of people were interested in adding another auto-repair shop to the neighborhood seeing as how a majority of the people who lived in the area chose public transportation or other means. Dean knew he probably could have called his own assistant to do the grunt work but decided against it, the purr of his Impala and his personal tunes making him think twice. He lost himself to the music, the familiar roar of his car, the wind whistling past the windshield that he didn't notice the very large cargo truck heading in his direction from the other side of the lane until it was too late.
The truck nearly hit him dead on, his well-loved car flipping in the air and tumbling off the highway into the dirt road off to the side. The sickening sound of metal hitting metal and glass crunching under the weight of the car was so deafening that Dean couldn't even hear himself scream as his car soared through the air. He was locked securely in his seatbelt, his arms flailing about helplessly as he rolled with the car until his left arm was trapped painfully above him in the folds of bent metal, a pinching sensation in his right leg that he was sure he would regret in the morning and his head repeatedly hitting the steering wheel in front of him. White hot pain blossomed from his forehead, his vision going white a few times and him blinking trying to restore his sight. Before he could fully assess how much pain the rest of his body was in, or the damage done to his 'baby', or even the fact that the world was upside down was that this morning definitely sucked. He managed a frown before darkness began to creep at the edge of his vision and soon passed out to the sound of his car horn which his forehead was currently slumped over on.
Sam had rushed to the hospital when he received the call from an officer telling him that his older brother had been in a major car accident on his way to work and was currently being admitted to S.F General. His whole body went numb from the news and he knew that all that mattered was where his brother was and what would be quickest way to get there. He rushed out from his office, ignoring the elevator and instead chose to run down the steps two at a time in a quick attempt to get into his car at the garage below the building and speed towards the hospital that held his brother. The officer didn't know what condition the elder Winchester brother was in, only that if the wreckage was anything to go by, it wasn't looking good.
"Please be okay, please be okay...c'mon c'mon!" he mumbled to himself as he sped towards the hospital, his grip tight on the steering wheel. If he was worried about being pulled over, he didn't show it.
Sam wasn't really sure how he managed to get to the front doors of the hospital, he couldn't remember if he parked the car or if he just left it in the loading zone in front of the hospital, all he knew was that he needed to find Dean and to make sure he was alright. He wrinkled his nose at the thought, no. He needed to know if Dean was alive.
Sam rushed to the front desk and all but slammed into the desk, his action scaring the woman to look up at him, both their eyes wide with fear but for different reasons.
"I need to know where Dean Winchester is. I-I was told he was admitted here by paramedics about an hour ago?" blurted out quickly.
The woman blinked a few times, trying to get over her initial shock of the taller mans outburst.
He slammed his fist against the counter and growled in frustration.
"Dean Winchester! He's my brother and was in a car accident this morning, I need to know what room he's in!"
"Sir, please calm do-" the woman started before being cut off by Sam, his anxiety and his fear getting the best of him.
"No! Just tell me...where's my brother!?" he yelled out.
The woman stood up and raised up her hand trying to placate Sam, asking him again to calm down and Sam was about to yell at her again before his attention was pulled away by a deep gravelly voice calling out his family name.
"Winchester? Are you Dean Winchester's brother?"
Sam spun around at the sound of his last name, eyes frantically searching only to meet a pair of shockingly, yet inquisitive, bright blue eyes.
"Uh, yeah. Yes, names' Sam."
The blue eyed man neared Sam and held out his hand which Sam shook tightly, if the handshake caused the doctor any pain he didn't show it.
"My name is Dr. Castiel Novak, I was just on my way into the O.R. to prepare and operate on your brother. Please." Castiel motioned for Sam to follow him and the two men quickly walked down the corridor, Sam easily keeping up with the quick paced doctor. Just as Sam was about to ask the doctor about his brother, as if reading his mind, Castiel spoke.
"He arrived about an hour ago in critical condition. He suffered major head trauma, multiple fractures, his left arm is broken in 2 different places, a few broken ribs, significant blood loss and a piece of shrapnel still embedded in his leg that's plugging his femoral artery. It needs to be extracted but if done incorrectly he could bleed out in seconds."
Sam paled more and more with each word that came out of the doctors lips, his gut wrenching anxiously, jaw clenching, and closed his eyes shut tight for only a moment. Castiel continued despite the silence from the younger Winchester.
"The shrapnel and head trauma are what concern me most. Depending on the severity of the trauma his brain is most likely swelling as we speak, best case scenario he has a concussion but I won't be able to properly diagnose until I see him."
The doctor stopped just outside a pair of mint green doors, a huge sign saying 'STAFF ONLY' on each door, and turned to look up evenly at Sam. His intense blue eyes softened as he spoke, his gravelly voice calm and reassuring.
"I'm going to do my best to save your brother Mr. Winchester. I'm considered one of the most skilled surgeons in this hospital and your brother is in safe hands." He gestured to an open room down the hallway over his shoulder.
"The waiting room is there, I'll have someone notify you with news after the surgery has been completed but if I'm being honest you should prepare to be here for a few hours."
Sam nodded tightly, swallowing thickly and took a deep shaky breath.
"Thanks doc. I'll be waiting."
Castiel nodded and took a step towards the doors before turning to look back at Sam, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly and disappearing through the double doors.
Sam walked into the tiny waiting room, which was thankfully empty, and sunk into one of the chairs closest to the door, blinking a few moments before letting the wave of emotions that had been threatening to wash over him finally crash full force. He let out a choked sob, hot tears cresting over his cheeks to trail down his face, and his head surging forward to land in the palms of his hands as he cried. In the back of his mind he was glad that there was no one in the waiting room to witness his melt down but he was so torn and lost in his grief that even if the room was full and near capacity he wouldn't have cared either way. His big brother was on the brink of life or death and Sam couldn't bear the thought of losing his brother, the big brother that practically raised him, that babied him even now, the big brother that was always there for him no matter what. The only true family he had left on earth was now in the hands of uncertainty and in the hands of a skilled blue-eyed surgeon. He rocked back and forth in the chair while his cries filled the small room.
Sam had counted the minutes at first which then turned into hours, which then turned to fervent prayers, prayers that turned into desperate begs for his brothers life, that he would come out of this alive. That he would see his brother, see him with that cocky grin and shrug off the accident like he did with anything serious and only care about what happened to his car. Sam sat back in his chair, the back of his head hitting the wall behind him and his legs sprawled out in front of him. He looked down at his long legs and saw that he was still in his suit that he had worn to work that day. Or was it yesterday? How long had he been waiting now? Hours? Days?
A small knock brought him out of his thoughts and his eyes flew up to meet the familiar blue of the surgeon. He took in the surgeon's appearance and saw fatigue clear on his face, his dark green scrubs splattered with dried blood. Sams' eyes widened slightly at the sight and felt his breath catch in his throat. Was it Deans blood? Did the doctor come straight from the operating room to deliver the bad news himself? To break the news to Sam himself instead of sending a nurse with the good news? If Dean was in such a critical condition shouldn't the doctor be back in the operating room to save his brother? What the hell was he doing out here?
'Get the hell back in there and save him!' Sam wanted to yell, to grab the doctor by his scrubs and shake him, refusing to hear that his brother was gone.
Thought after thought assaulted him before he shook his head and quickly rose to his feet, rushing towards the doctor.
"What's going on, is he okay?" he asked desperately, his voice strained from his meltdown earlier and the current one rapidly approaching.
Castiel took a deep breath but Sam saw a small smile pull at his lips and he dared to hope.
"He's stable for now. He indeed had swelling in his brain but we managed to prevent it from getting out of hand, the shrapnel was removed successfully and he's being moved into the ICU at the moment.
Sam let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and let out a cry of relief, his shoulders sagging.
"We've put him in a medically induced coma to aid in the healing process but I must warn you about the future of his recovery. He will most likely have permanent damage because of the severity of his injuries. Physical therapy will no doubt be in the near future so he can regain functionality in his leg where the shrapnel was embedded."
Sam furrowed his brows.
"Wait but you said you got it out right? Why would he need to learn how to use his leg if you got it out?"
"It pierced through nerves, muscle and a bit of bone, he will most likely walk with a limp if everything heals the way it should. With a cut that deep, he won't be able to use that leg until it fully heals to prevent even more lasting damage. Same goes for his left arm. The road to his recovery is going to be a long and difficult one I'm afraid."
Sam swallowed thickly but despite the concern laced in the doctors voice all Sam really cared about was that Dean was alive and that even if his brother was stuck in a wheelchair it was better than in a coffin 6 feet under.
"Doc, I know you mean well and everything but I just care that my brother's alive." Sam half laughed half scoffed, his hand running nervously through his hair. "Can I go see him?"
Castiel smiled tightly and nodded.
"Of course Sam. He'll be asleep but you'll be able to see him. Follow me I'll show you to his room."
Sam followed the surgeon, who didn't seem to be moving fast enough for Sam, and led him through a different set of doors to a ward where Sam guessed was the ICU. Castiel walked passed what felt like hundreds of rooms until he finally stopped on the furthest one away from where they had entered. Castiel pushed the door open for Sam to enter first and it was then Sam hesitated. He took a deep breath and walked passed the doctor and was soon greeted by the sight of his brother swallowed up in a hospital bed. Sam hissed at the sight, barely recognizing the black and blue mess that was his older brother but knew without a doubt it was him. If that mess of dirty blonde hair was anything to go by.
His face had a mess of white bandages, bruises and cuts covering his face that no doubt Dean would complain about when he woke up, his left arm was in a fresh cast that looked to be 4 sizes too big, his right leg wasn't any better and was hoisted up slightly by a net that cradled his thigh, all sorts of tubes were sticking out from under the covers hooked up the machines that Sam was sure beeped for a purpose but he couldn't guess what. All that mattered was the steady beep of the heart monitor and the sound of Deans loud mouth breathing.
But Dean was there, he was alive, he was breathing and that was what mattered. Sam settled into a chair closest to the hospital bed and he set himself into a watchful vigil over his brother, his jaw tightly clenched, his hazel eyes bright with the threat of fresh tears and his hands clasped tightly in his lap. It was a painful sight to see his older brother so vulnerable, so fragile, so...human but, Sam had to take comfort in the fact that Dean was at least there to look like such.
Castiel silently looked over Deans chart at the foot of his bed, not bothering to say anything because if Sam's expression was anything to go by it was that words didn't matter at the moment. Only his older brother did. For a brief moment Castiel felt a pang of jealousy for Dean but it quickly passed and was replaced by a wave of affection for the brothers, the blatant display of love and affection from Sam only showed Castiel a glimpse at how close these two were. Dean was very lucky to have a brother that cared so much...Castiel wished he was that lucky to have even one single family member that cared even half as much as Sam. Well...he had one but... Castiel shook his head of his thoughts and wrote something down on the clipboard before excusing himself silently, leaving the room and returning to his other patients. That chapter in his life was closed and he had no intention of opening it in the near future.
Sam didn't miss a day to go visit his brother at the hospital. He called out from work explaining the situation to his secretary and to relay the message to the rest of the office. Neither he or Dean would be returning to work anytime soon and wouldn't know until Dean woke up. After Sam left the hospital the first night, he contacted Bobby Singer, the only other man he and Dean had close to a father after the death of their own, and Bobby was on the first flight out of South Dakota.
Sam drove to the airport to pick up Bobby and after he parked the car, he want to wait by baggage claim to meet the permanent grumpy mechanic. He stood off to the side, his eyes scanning the crowd until he saw the familiar figure of a rugged man trudging down the steps with a tattered carry-on in one hand and jacket in the other. Sams heart hammered in his chest as he spotted the man and could already feel tears prickling at his eyes, his breath hitching in his throat.
"Bobby!" Sam called out, waving his hands above his head to get the other mans attention. Bobby looked up and his ever present grumpy expression softened as he saw the taller man, the lines on his face smoothing out and picked up his pace as he walked towards Sam.
Sam met him halfway and they both stood apart for a moment, just looking at one another and Bobby could tell the younger man had had a rough few days. Exhaustion was clear on Sams young features, dark circles under his eyes, his face gaunt and pale, his long brown hair unkempt and wild around his head. Not that the old man could blame him.
"You look like shit boy." Bobby gruffed out.
But Sam knew better than to take it personal, it was Bobbys own way of showing affection.
Sam let out a short laugh and ran a hand through his wild hair before he stepped forward to wrap his arms tightly around the older man. Bobby dropped his bag and immediately returned the hug, his grip just as tight.
"It's good to see you too Bobby, glad you made it."
Bobby snorted. "A'course. You know I consider you two boys like one of my own. How are you holdin' up?"
Sam took a deep breath and shook his head, taking a step back ending their hug.
"Yeah, not doin' too well Bobby...they still got him in a coma but they said after a few days they're gonna try and bring him out of it to see what the swelling's done to his brain. Apparently he hit the steering wheel pretty hard. They said…" he cleared his throat. "They said if he wasn't wearing his seat belt he would've flown out the window."
Bobby grunted in response but Sam could see the worry that formed on his face, his eyes shining with tears but they never fell.
"At least he's not that stupid." he grumbled out. "Alright well...let's hit the road and see if we can't get some food in you and a good nights sleep. When was the last time you got a full 8 hours?"
Sam smiled sheepishly. "Uh, before or after you gave us the company?" he joked.
Bobby shook his head and mumbled something under his breath but Sam caught it, the word bringing a genuine smile to his lips.
"Idjit…"
Sam settled Bobby and himself in Deans apartment, the spacious condo had enough room to house both he and Bobby without it being cramped. Dean kept his place clean and tidy but it was definitely 'neat' Dean-style. Despite the condo having been designed with 'modernism' in mind, Dean seemed to make it his own. The place was accented with what could only be described as rustic, his roots of growing up in Kansas showing through, with southwestern rugs decorating the grey walls, warm brown furnishings that gave the place a homey feel and comfy sofas with thick woolen throws over the back that were pointing towards a grand T.V hanging off the wall. The large windows had thick beige curtains to keep the cool air of the city out as well as provide privacy, a modest wooden book case sagging with heavy books and papers in between the two grand windows that opened up to a small balcony. From the entrance of the condo to the immediate right was a hallway that no doubt led to the bedrooms and bath while on the left was the kitchen and an open spaced dining room, directly ahead was the living room where said couches were. Other than the T.V everything was modest and it seemed like everything in the room had a purpose one way or another.
It looked like someone's home.
Sam had set up Bobby in the spare bedroom while Sam settled on the couch, not sure if he could handle sleeping in Deans room where he was sure he'd lose whatever sanity he had together. Bobby offered to take up Deans room originally, instead of the guest bedroom, after Sam had explained why he was sleeping on the couch instead so Sam could have a bed to sleep on. But that 'discussion' didn't end well for the both of them. Sam knew the older man was just trying to watch out for him but the Winchesters were anything but stubborn.
So Sam sat on the plush couch, while Bobby unpacked in the spare room, and waited so he could drive Bobby to the hospital while he could get some rest back at the condo.
They had agreed on the drive over that they'd trade off, one being at the hospital in case anything changed, while the other rested up and prepped the condo ready for Dean and his recovery. They'd come up with a plan later on how to rearrange the furniture to make it easier for Dean to move about and maybe even hire a in-home aide to help him while Sam was at work. Bobby agreed he'd stick around to offer some familiar company while Dean recovered and step in with the company to help with decisions if need be.
See, when Bobby was a little younger, he started an auto-repair business out in South Dakota that quickly became a popular spot for locals to go for repairs and Bobby decided to take a chance and invest, branch out to try and make it a chain business. Like Auto-Zone or Pep-Boys. Quickly his business boomed, his chain business spreading like wildfire around the country and soon there was at least one Singers Auto in every state.
Since Bobby was a longtime family friend, close with Sam and Deans father, and when he found out Sam was going to school to become a lawyer and Dean was flip flopping with his decision in what to major in he offered the business to the boys so he could retire. Bobby never had any kids of his own to pass it down to and he didn't want to pass off the business to some stranger that would just drive his beloved business into the ground while bleeding it dry. So Sam and Dean agreed to take over after they were done with school. Sam decided to minor in business while Dean focused on majoring in business and minoring in advertising.
Once school was done, they graduated with degrees in hand, and after Bobby properly trained them on how to handle the booming company, Bobby retired and left it to the two boys to run. Bobby couldn't have been prouder on how the two took care of his old business and glad that they had agreed to take over in the first place but that didn't mean the old timer was out of the picture completely.
Every now and then the boys would call him up asking for advice on some decisions on what routes to take and where, which was fine to Bobby, it would keep his old mind busy that wasn't awful day-time television or old folk-lore books he was obsessed with, and also keep track of his boys.
So Bobby figured he'd stick around, help out when he could and enjoy just being around his two favorite idjits.
5 DAYS LATER
Sam was passed out on the couch when he felt his phone vibrate underneath his pillow, his eyes flying open at the sound and clumsily moved his hand to try and find it before tapping on the screen answering it.
"Y-yeah?" he answered sleepily, breaking out into a long drawn out yawn.
"Is this Samuel Winchester?" asked a sly voice.
Sam furrowed his brows and checked the screen, it wasn't a number he recognized and the voice didn't sound familiar.
"Who's asking?" he asked warily.
"Calm down, this is San Francisco General. I'm one of the nurses here in the ICU, we have your number as a primary contact for Dean Winchester it says here you're his brother?"
Sam relaxed but only for a second, his voice tight as he asked.
"Is he okay?"
"Yes, he hasn't woken up but his condition hasn't worsened. I was told to contact this number if anything were to change and I wanted to tell you that Dr. Novak has decided to try and bring Dean out from the medically induced coma to see the extent of the damage his brain might have suffered during the swelling. Dr. Novak assumed you'd like to be here for that."
"Uh y-yeah. Yes. I'm on my way, could you please tell Bobby that too, he should be in Deans room right now. He's an older-"
"Oh yeah, we know Bobby. He's already charmed half the nurses here. I even think he got one of their numbers." the voice said in surprise and a hint of mock jealousy.
Sam laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, that's Bobby for you. Thanks for letting me know, I'll be there soon."
Sam rushed through the hospital and pushed through the familiar door that led to Deans room to see Bobby and the familiar form of the surgeon.
Sams entrance drew the eyes of the two men in the room and Bobby nodded his head in greeting.
"Sam, glad you could make it. I was just explaining to Bobby the situation." Castiel replied.
"When are you planning on doing it?"
"I've already began weaning him off the medication, it'll be another hour before I lessen it again. Hopefully he'll be completely off of it by tomorrow afternoon.
He checked his watch and furrowed his brows.
"I'll be remaining in the hospital for the next 16 hours so if you need any assistance please feel free to call me or my brother. I believe you spoke to him earlier on the phone."
Sams eyes widened in surprise. "You have a brother that works here?"
Castiel nodded, fishing out his business card from his coat pocket handing one to Sam and another to Bobby.
"Yes, his name is Gabriel. If you can't reach me you can contact Gabriel and he'll notify me. He should be somewhere around here for the next 8 hours or so, I believe he just started his shift."
Sam nodded and pocketed the card, silently reminding himself to save the number to his phone when he had a chance.
"Thanks, I'll keep an eye out."
Castiel excused himself from the room and made his way to the front desk to find his brother. He didn't have to look for long, he spotted the smaller man talking to another nurse but if the enamored look on her face said anything he guessed his brother was flirting. Again.
"Gabriel." Castiel scolded lightly, making the female nurse blush and excuse herself.
"Aww, Cassy you always ruin my fun." Gabriel turned around and pouted at the doctor before smirking and leaning against the front desk counter, taking one of the lollipops from the jar meant for kids.
"Those...aren't for you Gabriel."
"I won't tell if you won't." Gabriel winked and unwrapped the treat with ease before popping it in his mouth. "What can I do for you little bro?"
Castiel sighed and shook his head before responding.
"I told Sam Winchester to contact me if he had any questions regarding his brothers condition and I also told him to contact you if I was too busy. I want to make sure Sam can get ahold of me if he has any questions."
Castiel could see a mischievous twinkle in his older brothers golden eyes, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Oh? Would Sam Winchester happen to be the tall, dark, and handsome hot mess that rushed through here a few minutes ago? He looks like a knot I'd like to untangle and wrap around my finger."
Castiel rolled his eyes. "Brother you are hopeless. Please just...let me know if Sam needs my assistance."
"Sure thing little bro...wait. How long are you planning on working today?"
Castiel looked at his watch and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath.
"I've been here since yesterday night. Naomi had to call out so I'm covering her patients until she returns tomorrow night." Exhaustion was already rearing its ugly head and he was sure he'd need to rely on coffee again to get through his long shift.
Gabriels brows furrowed, a Novak tick Castiel noticed, and he lowered his voice, his tone full of brotherly concern.
"Hey, when was the last time you ate? Cassy do you need me to get you anything? Are you hungry? Joshua still owes me a couple of free lunches I could get you something from the cafeteria."
Castiel thought about it for a moment before relenting, his stomach growled speaking for the doctor.
"Yes, I suppose that would be wise. I wouldn't much use to my patients if I'm grumpy due to low blood sugar, that would reflect poorly on my part."
Gabriel clapped Castiels shoulder and nodded.
"I'll getcha somethin' good bro. I'll text you when I'm on my way up."
"Thank you Gabriel." Castiel relaxed his shoulders, a sort of weight lifting from his shoulders. He was glad Gabriel was there today, he was glad Gabriel was there period.
When Castiel was little he found out Gabriel had left the family randomly in the middle of the night. Castiel couldn't help but take it personally, his childlike reasoning came to the conclusion that it was his fault his brother had left. But as the years went by and he reconnected with Gabriel he found out that wasn't the case.
The Novak clan came from highly religious roots and when they discovered Gabriel didn't 'have faith' they gave him an ultimatum; to stay and find his path in the light with the family or to leave and never look back. Gabriel chose to leave while Castiel was still asleep, hoping to avoid saying goodbye, and Castiel hadn't heard from him since, never even had the chance to say goodbye to his favorite big brother. That is...until he stumbled across Gabriel at school many years later.
At first Gabriel had refused to hear out Castiel, worried he'd hear the same hate that his siblings and parents had spat at him but...Castiel was different. Castiel was in near tears at seeing Gabriel after so long and assured the older brother he didn't share the same views as the rest of his family, that he too had been cast out from the Novak home. Gabriel had his suspicions that maybe Castiel was lying just to get close to the man but after he hung out with his socially awkward little brother a few times, got to know him and what kind of man he had grown up to be, he honestly didn't think the man had it in him.
So when Gabriel attained his nursing license and Castiel his M.D they both decided to apply to the same hospital and remain close. And Castiel couldn't have been more grateful to have his brother back in his life and his support, that he wouldn't be alone in the cold city and competitive profession.
Castiel had finally stopped the I.V drip that allowed Dean to remain in a coma and assured the younger Winchester it would only be a matter of time until Dean woke up on his own but warned that it shouldn't come as a surprise if Dean still slept on. That Deans body could have slipped into a coma naturally so as to let him rest and recover over time without outside help, but that in most cases Dean would wake up once his body was ready.
So Sam and Bobby stayed in Deans room waiting for the elder brother to wake, the hours ticking by sluggishly until finally Sam passed out in the surprisingly comfortable hospital chair. Not soon after Sam had fallen asleep a knock woke him up. He sat up in his chair, blinking away the sleep from his eyes and saw Castiel walking into the room looking worse for wear. He noticed dark circles under the doctors eyes, his face haggard, and a bit of a five o'clock shadow growing on his chin.
"Hey Doc, you look...terrible."
Castiel nodded and yawned sleepily while trying to look at his watch.
"Technically I'm off but I wanted to check in on Deans condition before I left for the day. I hope you don't mind my personal involvement."
Sam shook his head.
"No, of course not. You've done so much for Dean."
Castiel smiled in thanks before moving over to Deans side, taking note of his vitals and turning to check the mans bandages. He didn't know if it was because he was tired or that he didn't have to rush off to another patient after his long shift, or that the swelling in the injured mans face had gone down to properly reveal his facial features, but in the afternoon light he took notice of how...handsome Dean Winchester was.
Despite the many nicks and cuts on his gorgeous face. Like old chips on a marble statue, it only added to his features. His lips were full even with the cuts and tube sticking out from his mouth, his nose was so delicate and defined, his lashes long against his freckled, rounded cheeks.
Freckles.
Dean Winchester had freckles and all Castiel wanted to do was to count them. Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes before opening them and his breath caught in his throat as he saw a shock of meadow green eyes. Those eyes were hazy, no doubt because of the drug and attempt to wake up, but they startled Castiel with how...incredibly vibrant they looked. As if a light was shining from within Deans soul and shining out against the glass of his eyes, illuminating them a bright green like a sunrise or sunset against the stained glass of a church.
Soon the haze cleared from his eyes and they focused in on Castiels own, his gaze looking up at the doctor so intently.
"Angel…" Dean breathed out, or tried to with the tube blocking most of his speech, his voice barely audible but Castiel caught it.
"Hello Dean." Castiel replied dumbly, his brain barely registering that the tube that was helping Dean breathe needed to come out now that the man was awake.
"Dean? He's awake?!" Sam called out, jumping to his feet.
Castiel ignored the younger Winchester and cleared his voice, keeping calm.
"Dean I have to remove the tube from your mouth, I need you to relax your throat so I can take it out. Blink once if you understand."
Dean groaned and closed his eyes before he opened them and looked up at Castiel again, blinking once with purpose. Castiel untaped the tube from the side of his cheek and gently pulled the tube out, surprised that the man didn't gag as patients usually did and placed it to the side.
"Usually...I'm...I'm the one saying that." came Deans strangled voice, a cheeky smile playing at his lips and Castiel had a hard time looking away.
"Oh my god Dean...you...you can't help yourself even now." Sam said, disbelief in his voice, tears pouring down his face as he shook his head. "Unbelieveable."
Castiel looked at Dean evenly, watching the man carefully.
"Dean my name is Dr. Castiel Novak, I need to ask you a few questions to determine your mental state. Can you tell me what year it is?"
"Yeah...the year I start taking the bus to work." he croaked.
"Dean…" Castiel reprimanded gently.
"Yeah, yeah...2016. November." he said, waving his uninjured hand dismissively in the air.
"And your full name?"
"Dean Winchester I have a dorky younger brother Sam Winchester."
"HEY!" Sam argued. Both men ignored him
"What is the last thing you remember?"
Dean furrowed his brows and closed his eyes for a moment before responding, his eyes still closed.
"Baby...she...is she okay?"
Castiel tilted his head in confusion his gaze looking to Sam for clarity.
"His car...he calls his car Baby. Dean, she's at the company's repair shop, nothing Bobby can't fix."
Dean let out a sigh in relief and opened his eyes again and groaned loudly.
"So doc, damage report?"
Castiel returned his attention to Dean and cleared his throat before speaking.
"You suffered major head trauma as well as many fractures in many parts of your body. The major breaks that concern me are the 2 in your arm and the few on your ribs. But we had to remove a large piece of shrapnel from your right leg that cut through muscle and to the bone, we were successful but I'm afraid you will be looking forward to a long road of recovery. Mainly your leg."
Dean looked down to his own form and took in his battered body realizing he couldn't move his right leg or his left arm, his body aching from the broken ribs and bruises he was sure he would find.
"Damn...I feel like I've gone through hell."
"You look it too." came the grumpy reply.
Deans eyes flew open and looked around the room spotting the older man.
"Heya Bobby…"
Bobby uncrossed his arms from his chest and smiled.
"Hey kid, how you feelin'...other than the obvious?"
"A helluva a lot better now that you're here. Means my Baby's in good hands seeing as how…" he looked over at his casted hand and wiggled what fingers were exposed.
Bobby gave a gruff laugh and shook his head.
"Not like you won't be breathin' down my neck tellin' me what to do."
"Damn straight." then Dean looked over at Sam, his heart sinking at seeing him. He noticed right away how stressed his little brother looked, his jaw tense, greasy hair from not having showered, his sweatpants and hoodie rumpled and wrinkled. He hated it. He hated that he made his little brother worry about him when it was supposed to be the other way around. He was the one that was supposed to look out and take care of his little brother, to be there for him and make sure he was okay, above everything else Sam always came first.
"Sammy…how's it hangin'?" he joked despite the tightness in his voice.
Sam gave a short laugh before he walked over to his brothers right bedside, gripping his uninjured hand and squeezing, as if to make sure his brother was there, in front of him, awake and alive.
"Jerk." Sam muttered but there was no malice in his voice.
"Bitch."
They shared a comfortable silence before Dean spoke up and looked up at Castiel, clearing his throat before talking.
"So, what are we lookin' at here? How long am I gonna be cooped up before I can go home?"
Castiel frowned and cocked his head questioningly.
"Dean you are still recovering from a major car accident, I'm afraid you're looking at another week or two here at the hospital. Maybe more depending on the circumstances."
Dean groaned and shut his eyes, gritting his teeth. He hated feeling helpless.
"For the moment you need to rest and heal so you don't put your body through any unnecessary stress. You are severely injured."
"You're...severely...injured." Dean retorted childishly, looking off to the side, pouting.
"Dean will you just shut up and listen to the man, now's not the time for you to get all 'macho' and get yourself any more hurt than you already are. You are goin' to lay there, get better, and then when the time comes you can go home. So shut up and count your blessings." Bobby huffed out, his voice firm and filled with authority which, to Castiels eyes, caused the injured man to sit up straight and nod.
"Yes sir."
"Good. Now since you're awake I'm going to head back to the apartment and get some shut eye. Sam, you good here?" Bobby asked, turning to grab his jacket.
"Yeah Bobby, here.
He tossed the old mechanic a set of keys.
"You can drive, I'll grab a cab home once I'm finished up here."
Bobby nodded before looking at Dean, his expression soft.
"I'll see ya later Dean, glad you're awake." he said before excusing himself, shrugging on his jacket leaving the room.
"I suppose I'll do the same and leave you two to catch up." Castiel replied tiredly, his long shift quickly catching up to him after the adrenaline rush he had at seeing Dean wake quickly dissipating.
"Tomorrow is my day off but please don't hesitate to call me if you have any questions. I believe Dr. Alastair Masters will be overseeing you in my absence but my brother will also be here tomorrow. He's one of the nurses here and he would be more than happy to help you as well." Castiel assured Dean.
Dean smirked and cocked an eyebrow up.
"Call you? Even for dating advice?"
Castiel tilted his head, questioning Dean.
"I don't...I don't see how relationship advice is relevant to your condition."
Sam rushed in to put a stop to the conversation before it escalated, already seeing the dangerous glint in his brothers eyes.
"Okay! Uh, thank you doctor I'll make sure to give Dean your number before I leave. Thanks so much for your help today, really."
Castiel nodded and straightened his back, bowing his head.
"Gentlemen, you have a good rest of your day. And Dean, rest. Please. You may feel fine but that's just the pain medication talking." Castiel gently warned, and with that hanging in the air he left to room, a swish of his coat signaling his departure.
"Wow! Did you see that guy's eyes? Bluer than the sky, and his upper lip?" Dean groaned in mock pleasure and hit his head back against the pillow.
"God, he was gorgeous."
Sam shifted uncomfortably where he stood, avoiding eye contact with his brother. He wasn't uncomfortable with his brothers sexual orientation, he had known since they were teens what Dean preferred and had no problem with it. Hell, they lived in a city that had earned the title 'The Gayest City on Earth', but Dean also had no shame and was such a flirt, he seemed to exist for the sole purpose of making Sam as uncomfortable as possible. Sure, Dean wasn't prancing around waving a rainbow flag, tossing glitter and wearing nothing but a speedo and rollerblades proclaiming his status as a gay man but he still managed to embarrass the younger Winchester. Maybe it was just an older brother trait.
"Do you need some time alone? I think I have enough time to flag Bobby down so I can go home and flush my ears out with bleach."
Dean rolled his eyes and shifted in his bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. "So...how you holdin' up Sam? You look about as bad as I do."
Sam shrugged and pulled a seat up close to the hospital bed, sitting down with a huff, his hand coming up to rub at his face tiredly.
"I was worried about you, yeah. I don't know where I'd be without Bobby though. I…" Sam gulped, his jaw clenching.
"I thought I was gonna lose you." his voice strained, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
"Aw, c'mon Sam...you can't get rid of me that easy." he winked lightheartedly before reaching out his hand towards Sam, gripping his forearm tightly.
"I'm alright Sammy, seriously. You heard the doctor, I'll be here for a few more weeks right? That means I'll be around people who will know what to do if shit hits the fan."
Sam nodded and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and relaxed somewhat. Dean was right, there was Castiel and his brother and not to mention the fact Dean was in a hospital with dozens of other doctors and nurses around. Technically Dean couldn't be in a safer area than right where he was and with that thought, a weight was lifted from his shoulders and met his brothers eyes evenly. Dean was safe.
Sam left after staying with Dean for a few hours, the stress from waiting for his brother to wake up hitting him all at once. He left Dean a list of numbers to call, since Deans phone was broken in the accident, and told him he'd be back again tomorrow to visit. So Dean was left alone in his room with nothing but the occasional noise from the machines that he was linked up to and the chatter from outside his room.
His thoughts soon took him to the first time he saw the doctor, how those furrowed brows and intense blue eyes stared at him, really stared at him as if he was looking past Dean and into his soul. Dean was still on the fence on wether he liked it or not but those eyes...those blue eyes. Those he definitely liked. When the haze of sleep finally cleared and he could get a better look at the doctor, oh...he definitely liked what he saw. That tanned skin, the light stubble on his proud chin, the mussed black hair that defied gravity and stood out at different angles. And his voice. God, the noises he'd give anything to hear from that voice. It surprised Dean how deep it was, not taking the doctor for a baritone at first glance but it didn't take away from the obviously attractive doctor. So he couldn't help himself when he began flirting with said doctor, taking note of the subtle and not so subtle shyness Castiel showed but he didn't stop Dean. He didn't even show that he disliked the flirting. Interesting.
Dean grinned at the idea of continuing his flirting with the doctor and ran through different scenarios in his head on how to further flirt with the man until the strain between his legs stirred and he knew he should stop while he was ahead. He had read enough horror stories about young kids, dudes mostly, who tried to masturbate in a hospital not realizing their heart rate was being monitored and would alert the nurses if it reached to a certain point. That was not an experience he needed in his life.
So he tried to fill the time with some meaningless daytime t.v but soon found himself falling back asleep from the combined exhaustion his body was in from the accident, and potency of the medicine he was receiving via I.V drip. Whatever they had him on worked like a fucking charm, he could barely register the pain his body was most likely in, all he could sense was a dull soreness that he was sure would be a thousand times worse without the help of the medication. He made a mental note, before he passed out, to thank the blue-eyed doctor the next time he saw him.
Dean felt like he only managed to get a few hours of sleep in before a searing pain in his injured leg woke him up. At first he noticed it started slow, tossing and turning every now and then until finally it climbed and became a white hot pain that he couldn't ignore. He groaned loudly as he woke and gripped his upper thigh, the part that wasn't casted, and gritted his teeth.
He thought maybe this was just a spasm or a wave of pain that would go away if he gave it a few minutes. But it kept climbing and Dean could soon feel his casted leg throb in tune with his heartbeat and the fresh wave of pain with each throb made him cry out. He tried, he really tried to just grit and bear it, that maybe he could just force himself through the pain and not have to call for help but... it was just so painful.
His free hand fumbled around to try and call a nurse, a doctor, anyone to help with this.
"Where the fuck is everyone!" he growled out, pressing the button as fast as his thumb could.
Soon enough he heard footsteps outside his room and a doctor entered, his appearance calm and collected as he entered, irritating Dean even further.
"No please, take your time. Not like I'm in pain or anything." Dean snarkily greeted to the doctor.
"It's to be expected, you're still recovering from a near fatal accident. If anything the pain is assurance that you're still alive. You should take comfort in that." Dean noticed the doctor had a small lisp, his voice coming out like a poor imitation of Marlon Brando from the Godfather.
"Please don't tell me you're Dr. Novaks brother because you aren't half as cute as he is."
The doctor smiled wryly, an eyebrow cocked in half amusement.
"No, my name is Dr. Alastair Masters, I'm overseeing you while Dr. Novak is away. He won't be back until tomorrow as I'm sure he's told you."
He picked up Deans chart and flipped through the pages before raising an eyebrow again and looked at Deans I.V line.
"You're on some potent narcotics Mr. Winchester. Dr. Novak certainly lives up to his reputation but I think a change in pain medication would be the wisest decision here. There's no need for such potency. See, unlike Dr. Novak, I take a more conservative view on pain management. Can't have you becoming another statistic, now can we?"
Deans' skin crawled at how cold the doctors voice and shifted warily in his bed.
"Statistic? What do you mean change the medication? Like...stronger?" he couldn't stop the small hint of hope in his voice.
"Oh no, that would defeat the purpose. I think a simple NSAID should do the trick." Alastair wrote something on Deans chart and smirked up at the injured man which sent a chill down his spine, a sort of panic building in his chest at the doctors sinister look.
"I'll start the change in medication now." He walked over to Deans I.V line and unhooked him from the now empty bag before wrapping it in the spare tubing. Dean took a look at the bag and figured the reason he woke up from the pain was because he was out of whatever was in it.
"Look doc, I get your...uh…your 'concern' over me being addicted to pain meds and all that but I'm in agony over here. It feels like I have friggin razors and lava in my leg and my bones feel like they're made of shards of glass, you gotta help me out here."
"I am helping you Dean. Alastair purred, nearing the injured man and leaning slightly forward, his eyes locking with Deans.
"As a doctor your health is my first priority but I also have to look out for any long-term effects that this will have on you. Based off your injuries pain is going to be a constant companion on your road to recovery."
At this Alastair let his cold eyes roam over Deans form, as if he could see him bare beneath the covers, beneath Deans gown and under his bindings. Could see how battered and injured he was, every nick, and bruise was laid out in the open for Alastair to see and the doctor smirked at his own statement, as if...as if he derived enjoyment from Deans pain. The way Dean gripped at his leg, how he leaned slightly to the left as if he could escape the pain in his leg by staying as far away as his body allowed, his scrunched up face with plain discomfort and how quick his breathing came.
"I'll make sure the nurses know about the change in medication." replied the doctor before exiting the room, leaving Dean speechless where he lay.
Dean could feel panic creep up his throat, the throbbing pain seeming to increase as each second ticked by. His breaths were rapid and only added to the pain as his ribs protested at the act, making his blood run cold. He shut his eyes tightly while he tried to get his breathing under control, his head pressed tightly against his pillow as he struggled.
Never in his life had he felt this kind of pain and helplessness that threatened to overtake him. He tried to reason that, as much as an asshole Alastair came off as, Alastair was still a doctor and knew what he was doing so if he said Dean needed to come off the hard drugs then that was it. Right?
But the pain...oh god the pain.
His heart hammered in his chest, hot tears running down his cheek and his blood roared in his ears drowning out the sound of the rapid beeping of his heart monitor.
He couldn't bear it, he couldn't take it.
At this point he was done trying to be macho and 'take it like a man' he didn't care, he just didn't want to be in pain anymore. He gripped the railing guards that lined his bed and gripped it tight, his breath still coming out in short bursts and his heartbeat like a drum in his ears. Was he having a panic attack? This felt like a panic attack or he was having a heart attack.
He blindly patted for the phone that was hooked onto the side of his bed and grabbed it while gripping the list of numbers Sam had left for him. His blurred eyes searched for the name he wanted, tears still spilling out over his cheeks which smudge the paper a bit and punched in the numbers forcefully. He shut his eyes as he heard the tone ring until finally a voice answered a bit sleepily.
"H-hello?" came the gravelly voice, confused and heavy with sleep. If Dean wasn't in such excruciating pain he'd have a better appreciation of how much more attractive that gravelly voiced sounded than usual.
"C-Cas…" he breathed, his voice desperate before finally succumbing to the darkness.
Castiel stormed into the ICU, his usual calm demeanor gone and replaced with fury, and anger. He had received Deans phone call mid-nap and when he picked up the note of desperation in the injured mans tone, it woke him up. Like someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over him. When he called out for Dean and heard no response he assumed the man had passed out. Well, he hoped so anyway.
He quickly readied himself so he could return to the hospital, throwing anything on that he could grab his hands on.
On his way he phoned his brother asking him to check in on Dean and ask what his condition was. When Gabriel told him that there was a change in medication his blood boiled.
Dr. Masters had apparently ordered Dean to be taken off the morphine and instead be given NSAID's.
Castiel growled under his breath and could feel a fresh wave of rage roll over his body at the news, nearly shaking in anger.
He told Gabriel to stay with Dean until he could get there and switch back the medication before Alastair could do any more damage. At first Castiel wanted to find the doctor and demand why he would give a grievously injured patient, that only just came out from a major surgery and near-fatal car accident, an ibuprofen to deal with the pain. But with that thought he was reminded of Deans condition and knew Dean had to come first, that desperate voice that called out his name haunting his thoughts.
Castiel ignored the surprised looks of nurses and doctors as he entered the ICU, heading straight to Deans room and was relieved that Gabriel was still there and that, for the moment, Dean was asleep.
"Hey Cassy."
"How is he? What did you give him?" Castiel asked, quickly moving to Deans side and reading his vitals.
"Nothing. He passed out on his own, I think the pain got to be too much so his body just shut down. He hasn't woken up yet. I was taking a look at his readings before he passed out, it looks like he was experiencing a panic attack and that's what made his body shut down."
"Put him back on the morphine drip. I'll sign off on it. Where's Dr. Masters?"
"Last I saw him he was about to go on his break, maybe check the cafeteria?"
Castiel nodded and left the room heading to the cafeteria, ignoring the elevator and taking the stairs so he wouldn't miss the doctor.
It wasn't hard to find the other doctor, seeing as how Alastair was the only one in the cafeteria, reading a file and eating what looked to be like soup.
Castiel stormed up to the doctor and slammed his hands onto the table, semi-startling the older doctor before he looked up at Castiel. A knowing smirk formed on his lips.
"Castiel, surprised to see you here, isn't it your day off? Ever the committed doctor aren't you." Alastair mocked.
"You had no right! No right whatsoever to treat a patient like that. I can't even begin to list the reasons why you were wrong."
"I was completely in the right for what I did. Not that I need to explain my reasoning to you but, Mr. Winchester's pain can be managed with a simple ibuprofen." He stressed at Deans last name, poking fun at how Castiel spoke of his patient with such familiarity.
"Perhaps, if one would agree with causing a patient immense, unnecessary discomfort. It's incredibly inhumane to make a patient with Deans injuries take a simple over the counter pain medication to deal with it. It's nothing short of torture!"
Alastair simply smiled up at Castiel, unfazed by his outburst.
"Dean's a big boy. He can handle it."
Castiel, in a moment of unbridled rage and fury, wiped the table clear of Alastairs soup and files before pointing a finger at Alastair.
"You are to stay away from my patient or so help me god, I will bring the judgement of the Medical Board onto you. If I see you anywhere near him…" Castiel left his threat hanging in the air before turning on his heels and storming out from the cafeteria.
Alastair simply smiled at the retreating form of the blue-eyed doctor and rolled his eyes.
"Possessive aren't we Castiel…" he said to himself before picking up his files and leaving, not bothering with cleaning up the mess from the spilled soup.
Castiel returned to Deans room, the anger and adrenaline he experienced earlier now gone, leaving the doctor tired and spent. He still hadn't fully recovered from his long shift covering for Naomi but it wouldn't be the first time, or the last, to soldier through the day. Gabriel was there waiting for him with a clipboard in his hands.
"Hey...I just need your signature real quick and then we can get Dean-o here back on the morphine drip." Gabriel greeted softly, holding out a pen for Castiel. He could tell his brother was upset, the tell-tale signs of his stiff shoulders and tense face. It wasn't as intense as when Castiel first arrived but it was there and Gabriel knew better than to get in his way.
Castiel nodded and signed quickly before silently going to Deans bedside, sitting in the chair that Sam had occupied earlier that day, his gaze focused on the mans sleeping form.
"Please inform the other nurses and doctors that Dr. Masters is not allowed to come near or interact with Dean Winchester. If there is a need for Dr. Masters to interact with him, I am to be notified immediately." he replied, his voice tight but full of authority.
Gabriel stared at him before nodding, not wanting to piss off his little brother.
"Yeah, of course Cassy."
Castiel quietly nodded in thanks, and with that Gabriel left to get a new bag of morphine.
Castiel sat forward and noticed that a heavy sheet of sweat still covered Deans skin and his near-constant tossing and turning.
He knew Dean was close to re-awakening and began to wipe down his patient, hoping his actions might calm him until Gabriel returned. He wiped at Deans face, removing the sweat and, upon closer inspection, tears from his troubled face. He also noticed Deans sheets and gown were soaked with sweat.
Making a mental note that they should be changed, he would inform Gabriel once he came back. Castiel firmly gripped the cloth in hands, gritting his teeth before he fell back into the chair.
"I'm so sorry Dean…" he whispered to the empty room. The thought of how much pain Dean must have been in, it pulled at Castiels heart and he felt a lump form in his throat. Castiel had his fair share of patients come through the ICU and knew firsthand what pain could do, it could instill so much hopelessness, could drag the toughest of men or women to their knees. How pain could twist the purest soul. How could Alastair ignore the obvious injuries Dean was in and leave him to suffer? Castiel couldn't believe that man was allowed anywhere near a Hospital, let alone be a doctor. And second he couldn't believe Alastair didn't consult with him before changing his patients medication and instead making the decision himself, deliberately ignoring Castiel.
That was what offended Castiel the most. Alastair was only supposed to be overseeing him.
Dean was his patient, not Alastairs.
Castiel blinked at his possessiveness over the man, surprising himself at how strongly he felt towards Dean. Sure he's felt a sort of possessive nature and protectiveness over his patients in the past, they were under his charge after all, but with Dean...it felt different. Maybe he was getting too involved, too attached to the man, maybe he should pass Dean on to another doctor...but at the thought of it Castiel felt that possessiveness rear its' ugly head again. No. He'd see it out to the end. It would raise questions within the ward and draw unnecessary attention to himself and maybe even question his position as a doctor.
Castiels train of thought was cut short by Dean gasping for air and crying out, his hands immediately going to his casted leg, gripping his thigh tightly.
Castiel jumped up and quickly went to Deans side, his eyes locking with those pain-filled green ones.
"Cas..." Dean breathed out in relief, closing his eyes briefly and taking comfort that his doctor was here.
"Hello Dean. Castiel couldn't deny the butterflies that flurried in his stomach as he saw the obvious relief that settled on Deans face, the relief that laced his words and in the way he said the doctors name.
'Cas huh?' Castiel thought endearingly.
"I came as soon as you called, I want to apologize for Alastairs actions. Had I known what he would do...I never would have left you in his care. He won't be overseeing you any longer, I promise."
Dean nodded, his jaw clenched tight before responding.
"It's okay, as long as I don't see that smug bastard ever again I'll be happy. But...doc you gotta help me out here. I can't...I can't even think straight with all this pain."
Dean swallowed thickly and, despite his best efforts, let out a small whimper. "Please make it stop."
"Don't worry. I've already ordered for you to be put back on the morphine drip and Gabriel should return soon. Would you...would you like for me to go look for him?"
At that Dean's eyes widened and his right hand flew out to grip the doctors own, Castiels hands were resting on the bed guard.
"Don't go...please."
Castiel nodded and held Deans hand in his own, gripping him tightly in his hands.
"I won't. I'll be here, I'll watch over you. Shall I call Sam? Or Bobby?" he offered. He didn't know if Dean wanted a more familiar face to comfort him in his vulnerable state but if having Bobby or Sam here helped with his pain, it was worth calling them.
"No...leave em. Once...once I'm back on that drip I'll be fine. They both need the rest. Especially Sammy."
"Alright."
They stayed like that for a while, Castiel holding Deans right hand in his own, his eyes watching Dean as he fought through the pain, his body shaking, fresh tears spilling out over his cheeks again no matter how many times he wiped them away. It was torture looking at him go through this, unable to do anything until Gabriel returned.
Before Castiel could ask if he should go find his brother, Gabriel entered the room hurriedly, a bag filled with clear liquid in his hands and a needle.
"I figured a small shot in his thigh should take care of some of the pain before hooking him up." Gabriel took a quick look at Deans sweat drenched shaking form on the bed.
"Glad I did too." he muttered and tossed the bag to Castiel while he readied the needle.
Castiel released his grip on Deans hand to catch the bag, immediately getting to work on hooking it up into Deans I.V line. Gabriel came to stand next to Castiel and lifted Deans bedsheets and gown to expose his thigh.
"This will sting a little but...with the amount of pain you're in you probably wont feel it."
Dean nodded and tried to stay as still as he could while Gabriel gently jabbed the needle and injected him the liquid. And Gabriel was right, it did sting, no it fucking burned but then a wave of...something came over him and he soon felt his whole body relax.
Dean couldn't help but groan out loud in relief and relaxed, the pain that had been searing hot melted away into nothing but an itch and Dean wondered why he was so panicked in the first place. Like all the panic and anxiety he had felt because of his injuries, the fear that Alastair had instilled in him when he said he'd change his medication, all of that didn't matter anymore. It all faded away until it was barely white noise in the background, the relief of being pain free overpowering any other emotion. It was like he was floating but his body felt heavy and he noticed it took him some considerable effort on his part to keep his eyes open. He turned his head slowly to look up at Gabriel, barely registering that fresh tears were sliding down his cheeks and he tried to form some sort of coherent thought to say to the nurse.
"Wow...s'like...s'like being kissed by god. Or sumfin…" he mumbled out, a heavy haze settling over him.
Castiel finished attaching the bag to Deans I.V line and turned his attention back to the man, glad that it looked like he wasn't in pain any longer.
"Yeah well, I gave you a special cocktail. Looks like its working its magic on ya."
Dean hummed in agreement.
"I'll take one for the road." he slurred out, a loopy grin forming on his lips that was so contagious, Castiel couldn't help but laugh and smile himself.
"Hold your horses there cowboy, you're not going anywhere anytime soon Dean-o. And we got you hooked up now so you should be good." Gabriel gently pat Dean on his arm and looked up to his little brother.
"I'll keep an eye on him for the rest of my shift. I'll leave a note for Tessa to watch over him once my shift is over but I'll check on him before I leave for the day. I already let the rest of the ward know about Alastair and if changes have to be made that they should call you."
Castiel nodded before a thought occurred to him.
"Also, if you could have Deans sheets replaced and his gown. He's soaked with sweat and if left alone he'll start to get cold."
Gabriel gave him a thumbs up. "No problem bro. I'll go get some fresh sheets ready and a gown."
"Thank you Gabriel. I appreciate your help."
Gabriel smiled and shrugged.
"I know, you'd fall apart without me." Gabriel joked and patted Castiel on the back before leaving the room.
Castiel looked down to Dean and saw that the man was dazedly looking up at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused until finally they sharpened and looked at him.
"Angel…" Dean whispered, smiling adoringly at Castiel and reached a hand out, his fingers wiggling for the doctors own.
Castiel took Deans hand without question, his body turning to pull the chair closer to the bed so he could sit and watch over Dean. He settled on the edge of the seat and returned his attention back to his injured patient, holding Deans hand gently in his own.
"That's the second time you've called me that." he said conversationally, but also curious as to why Dean considered Castiel to be an angel of the lord despite the origin of his name.
"Mmm...cos you are. My own angel. You saved me. Never had one b'fore."
"Coincidentally I am named after one, so technically you are correct. In a manner of speaking. I don't have a halo or wings."
"Black." Dean said with conviction, making Castiel tilt his head, silently questioning him.
"Wings...like your hair. Black." he clarified.
"Oh, I see. Well if that's the case then in turn, Gabriels would be blonde? Since he himself is named after an Archangel."
Dean nodded, grinning happily that Castiel understood his reasoning. Castiel smiled softly in return and gently rubbed his thumb over the smooth backing of Deans hand, which caused the injured man to hum in pleasure, his eyes closing.
They stayed like that for a few moments until Deans breathing evened out and his snores filled the room. Castiel took that as his sign to leave and gently untangled their hands, placing Deans arm to rest at his side and stood up. He took one last look at Deans peaceful sleeping form, burning the image into his head, taking comfort that he was no longer suffering from Alastairs twisted decision and left the room.
He wasted no time in getting home, tiredly opening the door to his house, kicking it closed behind him and stumbled over to his couch. He didn't bother with climbing the stairs, certain that'd he'd just stop halfway and pass out mid step, and flopped onto the overly plush couch, already half asleep as his head hit the pillow, welcoming sleep like an old friend.
AN
Please let me know what you think and how the formatting looks,if the spacing is too much or hard to read. I feel like i went overboard with the spacing but no matter how many times I go over it and adjust it looks fine. But that's just me. I hope you like the story so far and a fair warning to those who are invested, I plan on making this into quite a long story. Not 50 chapters or anything but it will be long. So buckle up for the emotional roller-coaster that this story will be. Have a good one~
-Bel