A/N : This is short short short songfic based on the song 'Stacy's Mom'. If you've never heard it I suggest you go listen to it before you read any further. I don't own any of this, none of the characters or any of the lyrics I haven't changed. Well I hope you enjoy this quick little fun oneshot !
Rose Weasley walked to her usual meeting spot with Scorpius. She glanced around for his white blonde hair, but found nothing. She sighed and slide down the tree trunk, and closed her eyes. She and Scorp had been dating since their third year at Hogwarts. She listened for the sound of someone apparating, but no such luck. It was summer holidays between her sixth and seventh year.
She nervously glanced around the semi busy park and glared at all the couples. She was jealous that they were happy. Ever since she had introduced Scorpius to her mother and father three summers ago, their relationship seemed to be slowly failing. Rose had met his parents the summer previous, and were delighted the loved her. His father was definitely a FILF (Father I'd Like to Fuck).She smirked to herself and looked up. An owl hooted loudly in the tree above her. Rose's eyes grew wide. An Owl. In broad daylight. In a muggle park! She shooed it away, and it hooted angrily.
Rose looked away, but the owl continued to hoot noisily. Muggles looked in her direction and her pale face reddened. She glared at it, and it hooted back. She once again tried to shoo it away, causing it to swoop upon her, drop a letter into her lap, and fly away but not without leaving a scratch on her arm. She cursed loudly at the owl, and received more looks from muggle passerbies. She mumbled darkly, and opened the letter. It started to sing, in Scorpius voice, which wasn't that nice.
'Rosie's mom has got it goin' on,
Rosie's mom has got it goin' on,
Rosie's mom has got it goin' on,
Rosie's mom has got it goin' on.
Rosie, sorry I had to ditch (had to ditch)
Can we hang out at your Quidditch pitch? (Quidditch pitch)
Is your mom back from Ginny's game? (Ginny's game)
Or is she not there, which is really lame (which is lame)
You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see
Rosie's mom has got it going on
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Rosie, can't you see, you're not the girl for me.
I know it might be wrong but I'm in like Rosie's mom.
Rosie's mom has got it goin' on,
Rosie's mom has got it goin' on.
Rosie, do you remember when I degnomed your lawn? (Degnomed your lawn)
Your mom came out with just a robe on (robe on)
I could tell she was impressed by the way she stared (way she stared)
And by the way she said, "you missed one over there"(one over there)
I know that you'll think it's just a fantasy
But since I've met you're mom, I knew she could use a guy just like me
Rosie's mom has got it goin on,
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Rosie can't you see, you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Rosie's mom
Rosie's mom has got it goin on,
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Rosie can't you see, you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but oh oh
(I know it might be wrong)
I'm in love with (Rosie's mom oh oh)
(Rosie's mom oh oh)
I'm in love with Rosie's mom.'
The song ended and Rose's jaw was hanging off her skull. Scorpius was breaking up with her for her mother? Of all people, Hermione bleeding Weasley? What the hell! Rosie screamed loud enough for the whole park to hear, and stomped away. She found a seculded area and apparated right into the pricks bedroom. He was lying on bed, no doubtably waiting for her. He looked scared but calm as well.
Rose marched up to the twat, slapped him hard across the face and spit at him. He took it like was nothing and calmly wiped the spit of his face. Everything he'd said in that letter was extremely true. Mrs. Weasley- no wait, she'd asked him call her Hermione- Hermione was bloody sexy. He'd like to tear that up. He watched his ex girlfriend ruin his room, throwing priceless things on the ground and against the wall. She marched up to him and breathed heavily in his face.
"Are you quite done?" He asked her calmly. She growled at him, in a fit of rage. She wanted to hurt him, no she wanted to kill him. He broke her heart, and she wanted to break him, literally.
"You selfish prick! You couldn't have done any better than my own mother!" She screeched. He glanced at her, still quite calm and just smirked a little." Well, Malfoy, see how you fucking like it!" And with that she tore up his bedroom room and marched down the hall. Scorpius followed her quickly, so she wouldn't do anything rational.
Draco Malfoy was sitting in lounge by himself since Astoria was no longer welcomed here. He was listening to stomping feet of Scorpius and probably his girlfriend. Those two were adorable together even if she was Weasley. She was amazing, extremely intelligent, like her mother, and talented on a broom like her father. Draco glanced up from his paper to find a very angry looking Rose, and a smug looking Scorp.
Draco was just about to open his mouth when Rose marched up to him, and took advantage of his open mouth. She kissed him furiously out of anger. It was a long kiss that Draco didn't respond to. He was extremely confused, but before he knew it she pulled away. He glanced between the two teen, bewildered, Scorpius was smirking and Rose was breathing heavily.
"Goodbye Mr. Malfoy," She hissed, glared once more at Scorp and apparated away. Draco glanced curious at his son who shrugged and fell lazily into the armchair to the right of his father. Draco didn't drop his gaze once from his son.
"What the hell was that?" Draco asked.
"I broke up with her for her mother," and Scorpius did the one this Malfoy's do best. He smirked at his father's shocked face.