Rated M – Violence, Language, Smut :]
I've taken liberties with the ME universe, storyline, and characters. For instance, I never understood why some of the big reveals with characters are only available to certain genders; Tali's helmet, Jack finally opening up, etc. I've made assumptions about the locations of various characters and their past relationships (such as who was on the Normandy when it was destroyed). Yes, I call my FemShep by her first name. Often. I get tired of writing Shepard over and over. Her first name is Adrian. Her basic background; Earthborn, Sole Survivor, Paragade, Vanguard.
Commander Adrian Shepard's foot was asleep. She inwardly cursed her habit of sitting on her foot and gingerly set it back on the floor, trying to ignore the odd sensation of pins and needles dancing across her skin. Her eyes felt bleary and dry; she was finishing her fifth report of the morning. No Geth activity, no sign of the Reapers…not a single nonorganic piece of shit she could let out her frustrations on. This was not a good day. She was frustrated that the Council and the Alliance weren't doing everything they could to prepare. They'd look into it, they'd send out a team to confirm what kind of tech it was that attacked the Citadel…Of course, it didn't matter that she and her entire team told them—repeatedly—that it was the Reapers.
She glanced sideways at the clock sitting on her desk; Kaidan would be done with his rounds by now. He said he had something important he wanted to talk to her about. Adrian snorted, he had been subtly trying to tell her that he wanted a normal life, perhaps even a family. Shepard held no illusions of the sort. Kaidan had a home to go back to and a family. Perhaps if things were different, Shepard began to think wistfully…she pushed that thought away.
The LT had taken it upon himself to check the crew deck for repairs daily. Shepard had reminded him that both Garrus and Tali checked daily as well but Kaidan had, in turn, reminded her that her other squadmates tended to stick to the cargo and engine room. After their night together en route to Ilos, Kaidan had been around her all the time. He always wanted to be near, always wanted to touch her. It was strange but at the same time, Shepard liked having someone around that cared for her in that way. She was glad that most of her crew had decided to stay aboard the Normandy, if only for a little while longer. Wrex had gone to Tuchanka to try to merge the clans and Tali was being dropped off at the Flotilla within the next couple of days. Garrus was headed to the Citadel to apply to be a Spectre within the week and Liara was going to publish her research about the Protheans when she returned to Illium. Most of the team had decided to go on one last mission, one last Geth killing spree. Except there are no Geth to be found.
A sudden scream jerked Shepard into an upright position, the datapad she was holding clattered to the floor. What the hell? She had started to stand when an explosion rocked the Normandy. Shepard was thrown onto the floor of her cabin; all the air in her lungs was pushed out with a hard grunt. Adrian lay still for a moment, straining to hear. The sudden quiet was shattered by the shrill blare of the Normandy's alarms. They were under attack. She scrambled to her feet and ripped her armor off the table it had been resting on. She hastily snapped it into place, grabbed her helmet, raced out of the cabin, and rounded the corner to the rest of the crew deck. Possible scenarios were flying through her head but when she saw the damage all the probable answers disappeared. Flames that had already consumed the sleeping pods were rapidly spreading towards the mess—no ship had the technology to do this much damage to the ship from one hit. Shit. The console to activate the distress beacon was down the gangway to the sleeper pods. Adrian tried to remember where she could find a fire extinguisher. Another blast hit the Normandy and Shepard sprinted towards the elevator to avoid the sudden flash of fire.
"Mayday, mayday, mayday—this is SSV Normandy, we're under attack from an unknown vessel!" Joker called from above.
Shepard threw her back against the elevator doors, flattening herself as much as possible as flames licked around the mess tables. A sudden thump from the other side of the elevator doors made Shepard jump. Her comm crackled, "—pard….elevator—"
Dread filled her stomach and she slammed her palm against the emergency override button by the doors. She heard the locks groaning but not giving. Part of her crew was stuck in the elevator. Shepard's fingers flew across her omni-tool, trying to hack through the elevator's locks. Damn, she need needed an engineer.
"Shepard!" Adrian whipped around to see Tali coming out of the infirmary, followed closely by Doctor Chakwas, whose arm had a long burn from shoulder to elbow. Tali's helmet was smeared with ash, her many veils charred and blackened.
Adrian felt her heart quiver; Tali and Chakwas were safe. Shepard closed the distance between them quickly and grasped Tali's elbow, "Tali—I need you to get this elevator unlocked, there are people stuck in it. After that you and Chakwas get everyone to the escape shuttles."
Tali nodded and began working on the lock. Shepard then remembered; there were fire extinguishers in the medbay and the elevator. She began to head towards the medbay when Chakwas grabbed her arm, "There is too much fire back there!"
"Adrian, catch!"
Shepard turned to Tali's call and caught the small extinguisher. The engineering crew poured out the elevator followed by Garrus, who was pulling his helmet onto his head.
"Tali, Garrus—get them to the escape shuttles."
"We won't leave you." Garrus replied shortly.
"That wasn't a request."
Adrian turned and began to fight her way through the fiery hall that lead to the emergency console. She peered over her shoulder to see Garrus and Tali looking after her before they both turned and began to usher people to the exit. The sleeper pods were twisted and blackened, she briefly thought of the twisted gnarly trees on Earth. She reached the console and, thankfully, it was still intact. Her hands flew over the holographic keyboard; Omega Nebula…Amada System…Unknown Enemy. She could hear footsteps behind her as she reached for her helmet and jammed it on her head.
"Shepard!"
She cursed inwardly. Everyone on the Normandy knew the procedure for emergencies like this. No one should be seeking her out. Kaidan watched her hit the final keys to send their distress call, "Will the Alliance get here in time?"
The console blinked out, "I'm not doing this just so that can find frozen corpses. We just need to give them time. Get everyone onto the escape shuttles."
The Normandy rocked again, sending Kaidan sprawling into the wall. Shepard dug her fingers into the console.
"Joker is still in the cockpit, he won't abandon ship. I'm not leaving either."
God damnit, "Get to the damn shuttles! I'll haul Joker's ass out of here!" Shepard snarled.
Kaidan paused, "Adrian…"
She shoved him away, hard, "Get the hell out of here!"
Shepard turned and ran back down the short hall and around the mess to the stairs leading to the bridge. A fire raged on one of the stairs and Shepard turned her face away from the flames. She raced up the curved steps to the bridge and stopped short when the door slide open. The Normandy's hull was nearly in half and the ceiling was gone. Shepard looked up. She was briefly thankful that her boots were magnetically sealed and proceeded to make her way to the cockpit. Joker's hands were flying furiously over the holographic keyboard and various screens.
She leaned in, "Come on Joker, we have to get out of here."
"No I can still save her!"
Shepard bit her cheek to keep her voice calm, "The Normandy is lost, going down with the ship won't change that. Don't throw your life away."
Joker paused, then turned to look at her, "Yeah…ok. Help me up." Adrian had gently grasped his shoulder when he stiffened, "Shit, they're coming around for another attack!"
She braced herself against Joker's seat and ground her teeth together as the energy beam tore through the bridge. They had to get off the Normandy. Now. Not waiting, Shepard snatched Joker's forearm, not even wincing when she heard a loud crack, and hauled him to his feet. He hissed, face contorting in pain, but said nothing. Shepard tried to lower him as gently as she could into the cockpit's emergency shuttle when another explosion caused her to lose her footing. Shitshitshit. Her boots lost contact with floor and she suddenly found herself floating.
"Commander!"
Her hands frantically slide along the smooth siding of the Normandy, looking for some kind of purchase—something she could grab onto when she managed to grab the corner next to the secondary emergency shuttle controls. She weighed her options and threw a quick glance over her shoulder. The ship was coming back and there was no way she could make it back to the shuttle before it destroyed her and Joker.
She looked at Joker. He squinted before realizing where she was, what she was going to do. He shook his head hysterically, "No! Shepard!"
Adrian hit the override and sealed his shuttle, sending it hurtling away from the Normandy. She tried to ignore his screams, his voice begging her to let him die with her. When the enemy ship fired on the Normandy again, Shepard closed her eyes and waited, she'd seen Sovereign shreds enough ships. She didn't want to see the Normandy go down. The explosion knocked her away from the ship and she was rained with debris. She screamed when something heavy slammed into the base of her spine and sucked in a breath, trying to control the pain, even as her legs feebly jerked in protest. Shepard was floating away from the wreck and realized that she was heading towards a planet. I'm going to die, she thought numbly.
She decided to watch disinterestedly as the Normandy exploded and tried to ignore the constant spikes of pain as more debris hit her – until something punctured the tube to her oxygen supply. Shepard froze. Please, I don't want to suffocate. She would rather be consumed in the planet's atmosphere. Oxygen was hissing out her supply and she frantically pressed her hands against it to try to stem the flow, body contorting. It was no good. Pain bloomed in her chest, as though her lungs were tearing themselves apart, and her heart raced ahead frantically seeking oxygen. Shepard stopped, realizing it futile and turned her gaze towards what was left of the Normandy. Then suddenly everything slowed; her heart, her blood, her brain. Through her darkening vision, the escape shuttles looked like tiny shooting stars. The icy planet loomed ahead and Shepard knew no more.
You've stripped me down, the layers fall like rain
It's over now, just innocence and instinct still remain
You watched me while I slowly disappeared
I reached for you to save me; you were frozen in your fear.
Take It All Away - RED