So, I was in an angsty mood (I'm quite far from home) and I was watching the end of season 3 of Private Practice...which made me angstier because I am a Paddison is how this came about. It's quite sad, but because it's me (and I am the queen of cheesy endings) it's got a happyish ending.

And this does have the typical reason of why Addek went wrong in it...but from a Paddison view point. You'll see what I mean.

I hope you like it :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing...or else things would have been different from the very begining.

Addison had never been one to fight dirty, although she had witnessed a lot of it in her time. The way her parents used to fight- which, she now knew everything about. Her mother's long-term affair, her father's several affairs. It hurt to think about. Then there was Derek, who had apparently thought having a girlfriend of his own was the best was to retaliate against her mistakes with Mark. Addison considered none of the above could really be thought of as 'fighting dirty', as every single one was deserved. She had loved Derek, but she had hurt him. So he hurt her back. As someone once said- all's fair in love and war.

So, when Violet Turner told her she was going to fight dirty, over something Addison hadn't even divulged to the lawyer, she wasn't exactly sure what to expect.

"Do you have children, Dr Montgomery?" Violets lawyer asked, staring at her- just like everyone else in the room. Addison felt like her heart had stopped.

"No. No I do not." She said quietly. Her eyes darted to Naomi, who was looking slightly skittish.

"Let me re-phrase that, Dr Montgomery," The lawyer addressed her again, Addison tried to remain calm. "Have you ever had any children?" Addison's eyes flew to Naomi again, who was now looking at her feet. There were only two other people in the room who knew, and Sam was currently looking at Naomi in disgust – so it couldn't have been him. Addison looked towards Violet, whose face lacked emotion at this point, then at Pete- who was looking expectantly at her.

"Yes." She answered as emotionlessly as she could, and she hadn't been successful. There had been some audible gasps coming behind Pete and Violet. Dell looked shocked, as did Charlotte and Cooper. Pete looked the most shocked of all. "I-I had a son." She stuttered, her calm and cool image completely gone.

"And what happened to your son?" Pete had obviously sensed how much she wanted to get out of the room, and nudged his lawyer- who suddenly jumped to her feet.

"Objection, Your honour- this has nothing to do with the-"

"I have a point, your honour." Addison looked to the judge, who nodded- signalling Violet's lawyer could continue. She closed her eyes.

"My son died- when he was one month old." She answered, when she opened her eyes they were filled with tears. "It was a cot-death." She said quietly, so quietly the people in the room barely heard her.

"So, what makes you think- if you were unable to look after your own child- that you are capable of looking after my client's son?" Addison felt her heart stop again; she closed her eyes and reminded herself what she had been telling herself for years it is NOT your fault. It's not your fault... "Or is this your last attempt at being a mother, you can't have any more children can you?" Addison opened her eyes. And this time her tears fell down her cheeks.

"Your honour," Pete's lawyer demanded, "this is all highly unnecessar-"

"I happen to agree." The judge turned to Violet's lawyer, "Unless any of your questions are directly involved with the case- Dr Montgomery can stand down."

"No more questions your honour." The lawyer sat down, and Addison looked at the judge, who nodded at her. Addison walked from the stand, and noticed everyone was staring at her. She walked past Pete, ignoring him when he tried to grab her arm, and past her seat out of the courtroom. It was only when the door slammed behind her that she started to sob.

Addison was in the bathroom, sitting in a cubicle trying to calm herself down. It wasn't working. She hadn't spoken about it in years. No one had. No one in Seattle- apart from Derek and Mark- even knew. So to be forced to talk about the loss of her son, in front of people who didn't need to know was heart-breaking. She was a Forbes- Montgomery. Silence was their way of grieving. She heard the door to the bathroom open.

"Addison?" Naomi's voice rang out. Addison put her head in her hands, Naomi was the one person she didn't want to see right now. The door to the cubicle she was in swung open, and Addison wished she had remembered to lock it. "Addie-"

"Save it, I don't want to talk." Addison pushed past her and looked at herself in the mirror, attempting to re-do at least some of her make-up so she could face the people outside.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think that-"

"You didn't think what Nay?" She turned to her friend, waving her hand with her lipstick in around. "You didn't think I would mind all that being thrown in my face after so long?"

"I didn't think she would use it in that way."

"You had no right to tell her in the first place," He voice broke again, "You had no right."

"It was a mistake-"

"How could that have been a mistake, Naomi? How? You just happened to mention to her one day that my baby died?"

"It was a while ago, she asked why you seemed so sad on his birthday- I'd been drinking. It slipped out. I am so sorry Addison."

"Sorry doesn't exactly cover it." She put her things back in her bag. "Well it looks like you got your revenge for what never happened between me and Sam. Everyone now knows why I am so messed up." She left the bathroom, not bothering to hear Naomi's reply. Pete was standing outside waiting for her. "Can we just go home please?" She asked, trying to sound strong, before he could ask any questions.

That night Addison sat out on the deck with a glass of wine, as Pete put Lucas to bed. She looked at the photo in her hand, she hadn't taken it out of the box in years. It was of her and her little boy, who would have grown up to look so much like his father.

"Hey." Sam's voice made her jump.

"Hi." She said softly, looking at him over the wall. "It's been a rough day."

"I know." He came and sat on the chair next to her, "Naomi is sorry."

"So she's trying to get you to make me see that?" Addison shook her head. "She's unbelievable."

"She didn't mean to tell Violet, she was so mad at herself-"

"Wait a minute- you knew she told her! Why didn't you say something?"

"You never talk about it, how would I have told you?" He sounded angry at her, she wasn't sure why.

"You don't have a right to be angry at me about this. I don't like talking about it- I mean, who would like talking about it?" They sat in silence for a moment.

"Addie," She looked up at him, "I know what the lawyer said was out of order and horrible, but are you sure she wasn't on to something?" Addison's face fell for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Are you using Lucas as a replacement? Does this situation actually make you happy?"

"How dare you." She said getting up, "I didn't expect this off you Sam, I thought you would understand. I love Lucas, and not as a replacement for a baby I lost." She turned around too quickly and found herself with her face in Pete's chest. She didn't move. Pete wrapped his arms around her and looked at Sam.

"I think you should go." He said softly, and looked at him in a way that said they would talk in the morning. Sam understood, and left. "Let's get you inside." He whispered to Addison.

The laid on the bed together in silence, Addison still clasping the picture in her hand, she could feel Pete looking at her.

"I keep it in a shoe box." She said quietly, handing the picture over to him. "No one would ever bother looking in one of my shoe-boxes because there are so many of them." He examined the picture of a slightly younger looking Addison holding a small baby. In the picture she is smiling, and her eyes are sparkling, the young boy she is holding is asleep, and has a head full of dark hair. "I fell pregnant when we had been married for seven years, we were residents. And still very much in love." She smiled slightly, Pete grabbed her hand to let her know she was listening. "People used to say we were disgusting. It was a pretty normal pregnancy, despite me trying to be my own OB/GYN much to Derek's dismay. We knew we were having a boy, so we decorated the nursery accordingly. Before I knew it, he had arrived." She started to cry, and Pete pulled her closer. "We called him Christopher after Derek's dad. He was perfect."

She was crying harder now, Pete pulled her into a tight hug.

"Addison, you don't have to tell me."

"Yes. I do. The night that he died I was home alone, Derek was on call. He was normally such a fussy baby and would cry a lot. I fell asleep on the couch, and when I woke up I realised it had been a while since I had put him down. I-I went to check him and he...he was..." She had to stop because she was sobbing so heavily

"Addie-"

"No one liked talking about it afterwards. Both Derek and I deal with things by pretending they don't exist. Which sounds horrible, but I couldn't deal with it at all. So no one around us spoke about it. Sam and Naomi were going to be God-parents. Derek and I drifted apart and you know the rest." They laid there holding each other, Addison's crying being the only sound in the room. "I think about him every day."

"I know you do." Lucas' cries came over the baby-monitor. "I'll get that."

"No- I'll go.

"Are you sure-"

"I'll be fine." She whispered quietly, kissing him quickly before heading to the room in her house which had quickly become Lucas' room. She picked him up, and sat on the queen bed that was still in there. "Hey buddy," She said. "What's wrong?" Lucas looked at her and frowned slightly, before patting her wet cheeks with his chubby hand. She laughed, despite her tears. He had already stopped crying, seemingly just wanting some attention. He settled into her arms and fell asleep again. She smiled at him and pressed a kiss into his forehead. She then noticed Pete was standing at the door, he came over and sat next to her.

"This is why you were afraid of him at first wasn't it?" He asked, putting an arm around her.

"I didn't want to get attached, I couldn't, I can't lose another child."

"You won't."

"But Violet-"

"You won't." He kissed her temple. She got up and put Lucas back in his crib.

"You do know he's not a replacement, right? I love him, so much." She whispered to Pete as they walked back to the room that was slowly becoming their room.

"I know." He said softly. They climbed into bed, and Addison rested her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "I love you." He whispered after a while.

"I love you too." She replied, before finally succumbing to the sleep she needed.

They were at the courtroom again; Addison was back to 'normal' and looking as together as always. Pete knew she wasn't but let her allow everyone else to believe she was. As the judge announced that Pete had won the custody of his son he turned to her and hugged her. He had won. They had won.

Outside of the courtroom Pete found himself confronted by Violet.

"Pete-"

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry-"

"Bring me into this- fine. But Addison? And her dead baby? I expected more of you Violet. It wasn't even her who told the lawyer about the abortions- it was me. I was fighting dirty, what you did was on a whole other level." He spat angrily

"I just wanted to see my son." She said to him as he walked away.

"He's not your son." He said, without even looking back.

When he got back he found Addison sitting on the floor, with Lucas sitting in-between her legs. She was reading to him from his favourite book.

"Hey honey, I'm home." He said jokingly. She looked up at him and smiled

"Look Lucas, it's Daddy." The boy looked up at him and smiled, making Addison smile more. He sat on the floor behind Addison as they continued their story. When Addison had finished reading she turned back to him and kissed him on the lips. Lucas made a protesting noise and they both laughed and looked at him. "Are you jealous, buddy?"She asked softly before kissing his cheek. This time he laughed.

"We'll be ok- won't we?" Addison asked him, as they sat on the sun-lounger that was on the beach. Lucas was in bed and they were relaxing before turning in themselves.

"Yeah, we will be." He paused and looked at her. "Are you ok?"

"As well as can be expected. I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. Everyone will be looking at me with sympathy in their eyes and they'll have questions."

"It will be fine."

"We could go away, just you, me and Lucas."

"Us three- against the world?" He asked teasingly, then he noticed she was serious. "it won't help Addie, they will still have questions when we got back. It will be fine."

"How do you know that?"

"I will be there to help you." He kissed the top of her head. She smiled slightly.

"Gladiator Pete."

"Exactly." He smiled as she settled further into his embrace, looking at the ocean whilst finishing her wine. Pete knew they had a while to go, and that things were not going to be easy with Violet around. He knew Addison probably had a lot more about herself to tell him, and vice versa. But he also knew they would figure it out. Eventually. And that they would be a family. Just him, Lucas and Addison against the world.

What do you think?

Please review :)

Fifteeen Minutes Old

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p.s. oh- and I know some of you want to kill me for how I ended the last chapter of "A Familiar Face." The next chapter will be up in a day or two.