Stupid

Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Hey Arnold.

I am looking up at the ceiling, counting the dotes, as I ponder to myself. 'What am I doing? Why am I here?' I feel his hand moving up my outer leg, as he bite my neck. 'God, how did everything go so wrong?'

It all started six months ago, Arnold and I decided to become friends, good friends. Whatever that really means. High school was over and college just began. I did not know that we would be attending the same school, until I ran into him. The last time I saw Arnold was at our high school graduation. He told me to follow my dreams and I did the same. I was walking to my next class on campus, when I crashed into him, just like the old days. He did not know who I was until after he helped me pick up my books. He grabbed me to him and gave me a big hug. I could not believe it. I thought that I would never see him again. I made up my mind that I would focus on school and myself, but here he comes crashing into my life yet again. I told him that I had to go to class and it was good seeing him. He told me that he was working at the local café and to come by to see him. I said sure why not. It took me a month, to go to the café. I keep debating in my head, to go see him, until I worked up the courage.

He takes his tongue and licks my neck where he had bit me. His hands are sneaking higher and higher up my thighs. I let out a long moan and suck my lower lip in between my teeth.

I walk into the local café and see him taking someone's order. He looks up and gives me a smile. He finishes up with a customer and tells his co-worker that he will be right back. He walks over to me and gives me a hug. We talk for a few minutes, when he looks at his coworker who needs his help. He turns to me and ask for my number. My mouth speaks before I could think, so I tell him. He smiles to me and says he will call me later. I walk out of the café saying to myself not to hold my breath waiting for him to call. To my surprise, he does call me and asks to hung out. That's all it was, hanging out with a 'friend.' I told myself, not to put my true feels out there, because he would hurt me. And if he wanted to be just friends, then that's what we would be, 'friends.'

He is trailing kisses up my neck across my jawline until he captures my lips into a long possessive kiss. I break the kiss and turn my head to the ceiling again, as he leaves kisses down my neck, to the middle of my chest and down my stomach. He starts to unbutton my shirt, as my hands play with his hair. I am trying to get my mind right and be here in this moment, but something is holding me back.

Two months go by and we are still hanging out. He has broken down my walls to the point, we tell each other almost everything. But now, he is starting to send me mix signals, like he is debating about wanting to make our friendship more. One night we were hanging out in his room, waiting for his roommate to come in. He was sitting at his desk and I was sitting on his bed. I needed to know where his head is at. So I asked, "why are you not in a relationship?"

He looks down at his mug in his hand, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship."

My stomach drops and everything around me starts to spin. "Why not?" Why did I think that he would be?

He continued to look down at the mug in his hand, "I am just trying to focus on myself, I am not looking for a relationship right now." He was clearly still hurt about his past relationship with Lila.

My mouth starts moving before my mind could think, "what happened between you and Lila?"

He finally looks up from his mug and made eye contact with me. I might not have been hanging out with our gang back in high school, but I was not blind that Arnold and Lila were dating for two years. "She…wanted someone else." He broke eye contact and continue, "she wanted to start getting into shape at the gym, before she went away to cheerleading camp. So I was going to support her…She met this personal trainer at the gym and instantly I knew that she was crushing on him." He started laughing to himself and shaking his head, "So I confronted her about it and she became defensive, so I dropped it. After a month, she comes to me and gives me this stupid excuse about why we should break up. Something about college is going to be starting and we are going to be going our separate ways. WE were planning on attending the same college together, so I did not understand. She told me that she changed her mind, she is staying here." He takes a deep breath, "After a month of us being broken up, she starts dating her personal trainer…two years of us dating and it ends over something so stupid…We were each other's first and deep down I wanted her to be my last."

I nodded my head, "I understand how that goes. It hurts when someone you 'love' leaves

you for someone else."

His looks back up at me, "what happened between you and Brainy?"

I start laughing. Brian and I both knew deep down that it would never work, but we wanted to try. "There is nothing really to tell. We dated for two years, he was in love with me and I wasn't. After a while he knew that I did not love him, like he loved me and started pulling away. That's when he met this girl name, Heather." The irony of this story makes me laugh. "One night, we went to a party and got into a fight, so I left with Phoebe and he stayed…They hooked up."

He gets up from his seat and comes to sit on the bed, next to me. "Oh gosh Helga, I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It's no big deal, shit like this happens all the time." Stupid Football Head, always having me feel all mushy inside. I might not have loved Brainy, but I cared about him. It took me a while to get over it.

"No, it doesn't."

I start laughing at him. "Oh yeah, what about you and Lila. At least she did not cheat on you. I never excepted Brainy to do that to me."

He gave me an unreadable expression and rolled his eyes. "If he really loved you he would have never cheated on you." He looked into my eyes and "I can't imagine anyone cheating on you." For some reason, we were getting closer to each other.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because…" He is leaning into me and I am doing the same.

But the moment is ruin, when someone comes running to the room. "Hey man, what's up." Jack, Arnold's roommate, smiles to the both of us.

"I better go; I have to get up early tomorrow morning." I stand up from the bed and walk towards the door.

"Yeah, I see you around." Arnold walks me to the door. He gives me in unsure smile and opens the door. I walk out into the hall and wave goodbye. That was the last time, Arnold and I was alone together. He always made it clear to have someone around us and I never understand.

My shirt is open revealing my lace bra, as he cups both my breast in his hands and kisses them. I ran my hands through his hair, as he teases my right nipple. I pull his shirt off and toss it across the room. 'Should I be doing this now, with everything that's been happening? Yes! I need this.'

Three months go by and he has been acting jealous of every guy that comes around me. He made it clear that he does not want to be in a relationship, but now all he ever wants to do is run every guy around me away. We were walking in the mall with Jack, his roommate, when I saw this guy that I use to work with. He comes up to me and gives me a hug, we talk for a few minutes and he leaves. I turn to Arnold and before I can say anything he say, 'is that your boyfriend?' He would not look at me as he asks the question.

I look at him in confusion, "no, why do you ask?"

"Because you told him that you will see him later." Jack said angrily.

"What? I have not seen him and years, I don't even have his number." 'Wait, why am I explaining myself to them? It's not like we are together and he is just a regular guy that passed by, who I happen to lose contact with. I don't understand. And why is Jack mad at me? After a while, Arnold and I get into a fight and Jack leaves us at the mall, together, alone!

Arnold and I was seating in his car at the mall waiting for the other to say something. The fight started about each other types and what we look for in a mate and it ended with me calling him a judgment control freak, that's when Jack left. Something so stupid. Now we are just seating here in complete silence waiting for someone to speak. I know if I look into his eyes, something is going to happen and it is not going to be good. I don't want to mess up our friendship, so it is best to leave, but I can't for some reason, he is holding me back. I know deep down that I am not his type. I am no Lila. "No one has…ever told me that before." He started the conversation. "I know that I am a little OCD and I am trying to work on it."

I turn to him and met his eyes, "I understand, but I think it is time to take off the blinders and see what is right in front of you, because not everything is what it seems." I turn to him and the unspoken question is in the air. "I hope you found the right girl for you, because you really are worth it." I make it easy on the both of us, because I know deep down he does not want me. "See you later." I put my hand on the handle to exit the car, but he stops me and pulls me close.

"Thanks Helga for being there for me." I pull away and leave to my own car. I think it is time for me to start dating and not wait around for something that will never happen.

He starts moving his hips against mine, as his tongue dances with mine. He pulls away from me and looks into my eyes, before trailing kisses back down my stomach, "God, your so beautiful." He pulls my pants off and toss it across the room. He leaves kisses across my hipbone, as I grab the sheets.

A few weeks go by, since the mall, we have not seen each other since, because I have been avoiding him. I can't take seeing him, knowing deep down that he will never feel the same way. So I have been keeping my head in my books. I was walking pass the café when I crashed into him. I did not know how much I missed him until that every moment. I looked into his face and saw that he missed me just as much. He told me that he does not appreciate me not talking to him. I explained that I just needed time to myself. He says that he understands and gives me a hug, as he hugs me, I open my mouth and say, "I missed you." I was in shock, I could not believe that I said those words, but I did. But what shocked me more is he saying the same thing and him holding me tighter.

So, you may ask how am I here with another guy and not Arnold? Because I got tired of the same old thing, with nothing happening between us. And me feeling like I am in the friend zone. It's been six months of mix signals, misunderstanding, and us fighting over the stupidest things. Friends telling me that he likes me more than a friend, people thinking we are a couple, but we are not. I can't do it and the last straw was some red-headed chick all in his face and people calling them a couple. He rolls off of me and gives me a cheesy smile.

"What?" I turn my head to him and wait for him to respond.

"You're so beautiful…I'm glad you are giving us a chance." He continues to smile at me.

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, whatever." I sit up, move my feet from the bed and walk around the room to collect my clothes to put them on.

"Where are you going?" He sits up in bed.

"I am going to my room…I think this was a mistake." I can't look at him, as I hook my bra together.

He stands up and walks to me, "Helga…" he turns me to him.

I pull away, "I'm sorry, I can't do this with you."

"This is about Arnold." Jack says, "You're in love with him."

"I'm…I'm sorry." I grab my shirt, "I have to go."

I walk towards the door as he nods his head, "he was never with Ginger, because he could never get you out of his head."

I turn around to face him, "he is with her now."

"Because you are with me…" He shakes his head, "You both are so stupid, and I feel sorry for you both."

I open the door and walk out into the hall. I walk to my dorm in a fog. I can't believe that I sleep with Arnold's roommate. I turn the corner and see Arnold leaving Ginger's room that was next to mine. He turns to me, gives me a heartbreaking look, because we both knew what happened tonight. There is nothing to say, so I walk pass him into my room. I close the door behind me and lean against it. I wanted to move on and that's what I need to do, but why do I feel so stupid?

A/N: Hey Guys! I hope you enjoy this one-shot. I am not going to continue this right now or I just might leave it. I have to finish writing my other stories, but this one has been in my head for a while and I just needed to write it down. Please review and tell me how you like it. I don't know when I am going to update Valentine's Day Dance. Maybe next month. I have a little writer's block. Please let me know how you like this one. Thanks again for reading and reviewing.