This is the 'Nexus', you may say, for my fiction based on the somewhat unknown game known as Yume Nikki. For those of you who know of the game and have played all the way through it, you'll notice that this story is my interpretation of the game as a whole.

If you've never played the game before, allow me a brief description. Yume Nikki is a game created by a single japanese person only known as Kikiyama. Virtually nothing is known about the creator beside that name. The game itself was first released only in Japanese, but was then translated into english and has found itself with a steadily growing fanbase.

The game itself is rather unique, involving a girl only known as Madotsuki, which is roughly translated to window. (Although Mado means window and tsuki means moon, but I only barely understand the language) There is absolutely no dialogue in the game outside of the instructions, which detail how to play the game. The instructions are simple; Save at the desk. Go to sleep, explore the dream world. Wake up. Save the game. Repeat.

Madotsuki's room is bare, only having a disfunctional TV without cable, a system with one game, a bookshelf, a bed and balcony. She refuses to leave her room, which leads people to believe she's a hikikomori (Japanese term for a shut in, in some cases a person with agoraphobia). Since there isn't any dialogue, the entire game is left to fan interpretation. The dreams Madotsuki has are very disturbing and unnerving at times and can be interpreted as clues to her past and what made her this way.

This story, simply called "Opening the Book", is my (rather embellished) interpretation of the game after having beaten it. If you've never played or beaten the game but want to, you may wish to first do so if you're interested after reading this. But if you don't plan to, don't hesitate to read on. The story is explanatory and enjoyable even without having played the game.

The First Page

There wasn't a place I hated more than this. The walls of the outside were cracked, as if they were resisting the explosion of coarse misery trapped at the apex of this building. The glass was covered in a thick layer of grime, obscuring the light from seeping in and bringing any kind of light to the inhabitants.

My thoughts didn't reflect cheer, either. Take in a deep breath. Enjoy the freshness of the air. Enjoy the warmth of the sun on your skin, Makoto. Because once you enter this building and climb to the very top, there wouldn't be anything happy to see. No sun would be awaiting me with a smile. No, quite the opposite. Instead, a lifeless moon waited for me atop the apartment complex. Chiseled into it, the expression of a girl who had lost more than one could imagine.

I exhaled, bidding farewell to the sun and warmth of the outside world.

The climb up the apartment complex's stairs was always quick and void of thought; how many times had I made this ascent? As I passed the floors that the other tenants inhabited, sad glances were exchanged between us. Everyone knew why I was here. Everyone knew of the sadness that awaited at the very top floor of the apartment complex and why I was headed there. Sooner than I expected, I was standing in front of that door. This was the door I sometimes spent seconds, minutes, even hours staring at while I wondered what I was doing. The door that lead to a quiet, somber world.

It was Madotsuki's door that lead to that quiet, joyless world.

I knocked a few times, reaching into my pocket. "Mado, it's me. Makoto. I'm coming in." I called through the door. As usual, no response. Moments later, I fished the key out of my pocket. Madotsuki's uncle made me a copy of her apartment's key, seeing as I was the only one who really checked in on her anymore.

I plunged the key into the doorknob, hesitating whether to turn it and open the door. I looked to the dingy walls around me, filled with deeply set cracks and covered with cobwebs, discarded remnants of life that had given up making its home here. Madotsuki's uncle owned this apartment complex. It was tall, taller than most apartment buildings you'd find around the neighborhood. Despite being so tall, it was small and cramped, slowly falling into disrepair. The building itself was bigger than Madotsuki's uncle could handle. Since I could remember, the complex had been withered by time and neglect.

The building itself wasn't the only thing that had been corroded by those two elements, either.

I twisted the key in the ***, pushing the door open. The room was absolutely silent, as usual. Madotsuki's room, unlike the rest of the building, was kept in an oddly pristine fashion. I guess the girl had nothing else to do with her time, so she kept her room clean. My eyes roamed over the spotless room, taking in the details. Scattered around the floor were various pillows, ones that never seemed to be moved from their location. They laid neatly and purposely, each matching the same angle as the other pillows. In front of her television a lone, ancient video game system laid, its only cartridge inserted into it. In the center of the room was a carpet emblazoned with some strange Aztec art, all in shades of crimson and yellow. Against the wall was a tall, neatly kept bookshelf. A desk with a single notebook open on it, a pen beside it. A door that lead to the minuscule bathroom, bearing a toilet and a cramped standing shower.

The door to the balcony was left ajar, a slight breeze flowing into the room in the direction of the bed. The bed... the place where Madotsuki rarely ever left. Madotsuki, curled up and covered completely by her sheets, lay snoring softly.

I sat down at the desk's chair, my eyes wandering to the corner of the desk facing her bed. A dozen orange medicine containers stand there, lids uncapped and multicolored pills scattered around the desk. "Hey." I said, tearing my eyes from those damned pills. I loathed them. I laid most of the blame for how Madotsuki had turned out on the pills they forced down her throat.

No response from the bed. I focused my eyes on those dull brown sheets, an ache entering my chest. The sense of dire this place radiated was already setting in. The TV that had no channels, the bookshelf filled with meaningless books that would never be read. The diary of bleak dreams she kept. "Mado, wake up." I said, placing a hand on the bulge in the blankets. Shaking her gently, I heard a soft groan.

That was usually the most I'd hear from her. She slowly pulled the blankets out from over her head and sat up, rubbing her eyes at me. For a few minutes she sat up, her eyes still closed. Even though she slept so much, she still looked so tired. It bothered me to see Madotsuki like this. I wondered why it seemed like everything in her life had turned against her.

I had known her since she was a kid. She was still a kid, really. How old was she now? Fifteen? I was twenty, the only reason I knew her was because my parents were excellent friends with hers. I never really spoke to her, but... after everything happened to her, I made her parents a promise. A promise that I was holding to even this moment.

She opened her eyes and looked up at me. That was when the remainder of spirit I had in me was crushed. Those eyes were enough to cripple anyone. Empty, void, lifeless, deject. There were so many words to say what her expression held, but none of them could quite fit the defeat her eyes exuded. Despite the dreariness she gave off, I had to force a smile for her. "Good morning, Mado. It's four in the afternoon, should you be sleeping that late?" I asked with a cheesy grin. She didn't say anything, only rubbing an ochre eye at me while reaching for her braided pigtail.

Her left pigtail was loose, coming undone. She undid it softly, retying it within seconds and affixing her beaded elastic around it. I watched her colorless hands work swiftly, they moved like they had done this millions of times. Her skin was another thing that made her seem weak and defeated. It was a pale, a stark white. There were no windows in this apartment, just the glass door that she always kept slid open a bit and obscured by blinds.

I kept smiling at her, hoping she'd say something to me. She hadn't spoken in so long. I remember her being a reserved person, but never to this degree. It was only after the accident that things became this way. When I realized she wasn't about to say anything, my smile folded a little. "Are you hungry? I can go make you some food to eat." I told her, which seemed to catch her attention. Her eyes opened wider and were a bit more alert at the words 'food to eat'. She never left her apartment, always resisting, giving nothing more than a reluctant shake of the head when someone suggested she leave the room. Oftentimes she didn't even try to approach the door.

I smiled at her, patting her on the head as I stood up. I began walking away from the bed, towards that door she seemed so afraid of. "Don't fall asleep while I'm making your food, ok? I don't want to have to wake you from a good dream." I told her as she stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of her pastel pink shirt, adjusting the length of her maroon skirt. She nodded, taking the seat that I gave up. She picked up the pen and began writing as I head towards the exit of the apartment.

Cooking was the same as the climb to Madotsuki's apartment. Mindless. As I descended the steps to the community kitchen, I tuned everything out. Since the complex was so narrow and tall, the floors were built to have a single kitchen per floor for the tenants to share the use of. Madotsuki lived on the ninth floor, the only floor with a single room, so I always used the eighth floor's kitchen. I walked towards the fridge, opening it and peering in. No one bothered touching her food. No one ever put their food near hers, either. It was like they were afraid of anything that had anything to do with her. It made me feel worse for the poor girl, no one except me tried to see her in a normal light. All I could do was sigh. From the moment after I grabbed some leftovers that I had labeled "Madotsuki, 9-A", everything became automatic. Even when I made meals, my mind went blank. It was better to not think too much.

Once I finished, I found myself looking down at the reheated plate of lasagna. As I walked from the kitchen towards the lonely staircase that lead to Madotsuki's room, a tenant stood in my way. I stopped, my empty mind suddenly presented with a need to process information. I glared at the tenant, a large woman who had a sad expression on her bloated face. "What?" I asked, a bit too rudely. I was usually never like this until I came here. I hated virtually everyone here, except for the girl who hid from the world in a lone apartment on the ninth floor.

"You're still taking care of the landlord's niece?" She asked me. I nodded. "Yes, I am. Someone has to." I said, trying to move around her. The woman moved into my way. A scowl appeared on my face as my eyes narrowed at her. She wore a long fitted dress, one that someone her size probably shouldn't be wearing. She wore more makeup than she should've, too. "God bless you. That poor girl doesn't have anyone else helping her, it's good that she has someone looking out for her." She said. I nodded.

"Yeah. Well, the food will get cold, so excuse me." I said, finally getting around her. I wonder if she thought her words were supposed to mean something to me or Madotsuki. If that woman was so *** concerned, why didn't she go visit? Why doesn't she go and try and cheer up a girl who had nothing? But if anything, the words she said to me *** me off the most.

God bless you.

God bless you? God. Could there even be a God, with all things told?

I found my way back to Madotsuki's room after climbing that dark stairwell. Opening the door slowly, I walked into her room with the plateful of food. She was sitting at her television, having moved one of the pillows she had scattered around the floor so she could sit on it. There was a second one beside her, which she patted, her eyes barely open as she played the only game she owned. A game only called Nasu.

I sat down, handing her her plate of food. She traded me the remote for the food since Nasu didn't seem to have a pause menu. I picked up in the game where she left off, trying not to allow the strange little vegetables that vaguely resembled eggplants to hit the ground by eating them with the unnamed eagle. Madotsuki began eating slowly, picking through the plate of food.

After a while, I finally missed an eggplant and the game was over. I placed the remote down. There was a long silence as I watched the young girl eat her lasagna. "Mado. Aren't you unhappy?" I asked her, my voice solemn. Her fork stopped where it was, instead grazing the top layer of lasagna, pushing the layer of pasta aside as she plunged it into sauce and meat. She shook her head slowly. I frowned. That was a blatant lie if there ever was one. "You're happy like this? Taking all those pills, sleeping all day? Being alone all the time?" I asked.

She slowly lifted the fork to her mouth, placing it between her lips as she turned her eyes towards me with a nod. Her eyes were barely open, only slits of umber peeking out from under her eyelashes. A frown overwhelmed my expression. I guess there was no helping it, then. She finished her plate, placing it on my lap. "How about sometime I get you a VCR and some movies? That way you can actually watch something on your TV instead of only having this game to play?" I asked. Madotsuki didn't respond. I kept my gaze fixed on her, hoping she'd respond. Nothing as usual.

I stood up, placing the plate on the desk and glancing at the first line of her diary. She never wrote what she did during the day in this book. Only what she dreamed. I tried not to read the entries, but this line caught my eye.

Day 16, Month April
I like it better in my dreams. I don't feel bad when I'm asleep.

I turned my eyes from the diary, placing the plate down on the desk, sitting in her chair. I slid the plate over towards the TV set where she continued playing Nasu. She quickly got bored though, walking towards her bed but stopping prematurely at the corner of her desk. Madotsuki reached over, plucking a choice few pills from the ones scattered around the bottles, popping them into her mouth. She didn't even bother with getting a drink, she just swallowed them all dry.

"Goodnight." I said to Madotsuki, my tone bitter and distant as she laid down on her bed, pulling the sheets over herself. An arcing motion, a whooshing of wind and she was gone. Covered by her sheets and her dreams. I glared at those *** pills. Who could I blame? The psychiatrist? Madotsuki's aunt and uncle for sending her there? The pills? Madotsuki? She was trapped. Trapped in herself, in her dreams. In this apartment.

I looked to her dream diary, my eyes downcast. If only that accident had never happened, this vicious cycle would've never started. If only she hadn't lost her family. Maybe then she'd be able to smile again. To have lived a normal life.

I didn't bother reading her diary. I instead stood up, heading towards that glass door that lead to the balcony. I pushed it open a bit, slipping out onto the balcony and leaving it slightly ajar. I let out a sigh as I walked towards the balcony, leaning against the cold steel railing. What a lonely view she had here. No trees as far as the eye could see. Just a city clad in the shadow of this complex. I closed my eyes, reaching into my breast pocket. From within, I drew out a beaten pack of cigarettes. This was the only place where I smoked anymore. Madotsuki's apartment got to me. It was filled with nothing but bad memories.

When I came here, I couldn't help but think about Madotsuki's parents, her family. The people who passed on nearly four years ago. Looking into the pack, I saw crumpled cigarettes and my dark blue disposable lighter. I removed a cigarette and placed it to my lips, lighting it quickly and breathing in the sweet burning nicotine. It was a flavor I couldn't savor anywhere else. A cynical, beaten smirk appeared on my face. If Madotsuki was slowly wasting away here, why shouldn't I join her?

My thoughts gravitated back to that day. The day everything came to a resounding stop. Madotsuki was only eleven at the time. There was a cookout here, at this very apartment building. Back before it was falling apart. When Madotsuki's uncle actually took care of things. Back when he had a semblance of a human heart and soul. Madotsuki's entire extended family and all of their friends would come together at this apartment for cookouts long ago. It was always such a big, fun party. One cookout, Madotsuki was having trouble getting along with the rest of her family. She was never good at talking, always stuttering her words and becoming ashamed of herself when she messed up her sentences.

But because of this, kids were teasing and making fun of her. I remember looking over and seeing one kid in particular shove her to the ground when she tried to work her way into the group. Even though she knew the others were going to make fun of her and pick on her because she was a little different from them, she put on a brave face and kept trying. But she was thrown aside while they all went off and enjoyed themselves.

I inhaled on my cigarette. I guess this was the beginning of her troubles and the beginning of my indescribable urge to try and protect Madotsuki. I knew who she was, never really spoke to her. But after seeing her show of bravery be turned aside with a cruel gesture like that... it made me mad. I went over and told Madotsuki to cheer up. "Why?" She asked me, in her sniffling, stuttering voice. I told her, Because things always get better and the bad guys never win. To prove it to her, I went over to the kid and punched him dead in the face. He was much younger than me, so it wasn't really hard to hurt him and make him cry. The adults weren't happy with me, but after explaining, they weren't as mad. They didn't approve, but they weren't going to punish me either.

Madotsuki spent the rest of the party attached to me, stuttering and trying to talk to me as much as possible. It was kind of fun, being around someone who was so interested in everything about you. Once the party ended, I walked with her family to go home. They only lived a couple streets over and didn't bother driving. Madotsuki was refusing to leave unless I walked with them, so I decided to come with for the walk.

Her parents walked ahead of us while I talked to Madotsuki. She was a bright kid, almost as smart as me while nearly five years younger. It was dark out, night had fallen hours ago. The only thing illuminating the world around us was the bare moonlight of the celestial body that hovered softly behind a veil of clouds.

As we walked, I saw a bunch of flowers growing on the grass beside road. I kneeled down beside them, pointing them out to Madotsuki. I remember what I said to this very day. Everything about that entire day... I'll never forget it. "Mado, look. These flowers here only bloom at night." I told her. She kneeled down, making sure to keep her skirt tucked under her knees.

"They're like you. A flower that blooms at a time when nothing else can. I saw you trying your hardest to be a part of that group. As long as you keep trying your best, you can bloom even when no one thinks you can." Was what I said. As a kid, I didn't understand how profound my words were. I was just speaking what I saw, without thought. At that moment, Madotsuki reached out, touching the soft petals of the flower with a gentle hand.

The moment she touched that flower was the moment I heard the most chilling sound ever. Screeching of tires, the thudding of human bodies, bones snapping and cracking.

A flash of lights, screams of pain. Contorted metal and bones.

A driver who wasn't paying attention had hit Madotsuki's family. There was a thorough investigation. The police reported that the stoplight overhead had gone out, disabling the driver from knowing that he was supposed to yield around the blind corner that Madostuki's family was crossing through. The driver was speeding and completely shattered both her parents' spinal columns and skulls, but... he didn't face any repercussions for ending the lives of Madotsuki's family and by extension, her life.

Madotsuki was first placed in an orphanage while the courts did paperwork, looking for her closest relatives to live with. In the end, they chose her uncle and aunt who owned the apartment complex. They were given the option to take guardianship of their niece. They accepted, giving her one of their apartments and taking care of her, bringing her to school and everything. At first, Madotsuki was shaken from the sudden loss of her life, but she was trying her hardest to adapt to her new surroundings.

I lowered my face to one of my hands. I always wondered where to place the fault for Madotsuki's life being this way. And I just realized where it lay. It wasn't her uncle or aunt's fault. It wasn't the psychiatrist's fault. It wasn't the pills she took, either. The blame only fell on one person's shoulders.

Mine.

That night, by walking behind her family and showing her those flowers spared her from being a part of that horrible accident. Sure, I saved her life. But what kind of life had I given her? What kind of life was this? I'd never change my decision and put her in harm's way, but... I just wish I could've done something different to change the outcome. I wish I could have gone back and altered the course of that night.

I grit my teeth. This is why I promised her parents at their grave that I would take care of their daughter. This is why I always came here after work to check up on her, to make her dinners. To keep her company and try to bring some kind of happiness to her life. Because this was all my fault.