The time was 2:34am. My hands were shaking, heart pounding, I felt terrified. Have I been wrong this whole time? I thought to myself as I flipped through my childish study bible nervously reading as I went. I couldn't believe it; it all made too much sense. The facts were right there, how could I have missed such important details that would've effect my beliefs and possibly my life as a whole?!
Suddenly a certain verse caught my eye: Psalm 14:1 " the fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. I stared at the page blankly, a ashamed feeling growing in my gut. I'm such a fool. I repeated the verse constantly in my head. The ashamed feeling became worse and worse. The bible was making so much sense now, I felt ashamed that I just passed it off as illogical. I began to sob quietly laying my head on the side on my bed as I admitted it to myself quietly "I was angry at God...wasn't I?"
I slammed my fist in rage against my bed. I was mad at Him for all the wrong in my life. All the troubles that I had to face. He gave those to me to...no it can't be..! To test my faith?
I turned to look at my bible, abandoned on the ground open. I felt the tears clouding my vision as I soon closed them and bowed my head.
"Oh my father in heaven, is it true that you wanted to test me..as if I was preparing to fight for some kind of battle? Oh please Lord! Just give me a sign! In Jesus name I pray, amen."
Suddenly, I felt a rush of soothing warm going through my body. I wiped the tears out of my eyes and smiled weakly.
"God does exist"