Heartsick
Emma bounced out of bed, noting Regina still sleeping and trying not to wake her, she quietly slipped out of bed and made her way downstairs. There was no noise from Calon's room yet and Henry's alarm would wake him shortly, so she put the coffee on and just enjoyed the silence while it lasted.
Just as she heard Henry's door opening and his first steps down the stairs, she also heard Calon's first little cries. She loved that he made different noises for different needs, and she loved even more that she could recognise and understand all of them. Regina had never once made Emma feel like she was a secondary parent when it came to Calon, but it was in moments like this, she realised that she really was his mother. She passed Henry on the stairs, kissing his forehead as she went and entered Calon's room.
Calon sat against the bars of his crib, holding onto them and wailing softly, as if he'd had been forever locked in his tiny prison. Not a proper cry, but as Emma knew, it was a 'where is everyone, I'm lonely in here, someone come and cuddle me' noise. She scooped him up, kissing his cheeks and grabbing his giraffe. If he had his giraffe, it made changing his diaper a much easier job! Once that was done she headed back downstairs to Henry.
Halfway down the stairs she stopped dead and looked up to her bedroom door. It was very odd for Regina not to be up first. Even odder was that she was still not up, despite the noises of a family starting the day now echoing through the big house. She was just about to turn and go back into her bedroom when a loud crash came from the kitchen. "Henry, what was that!?" well if that didn't get Regina out of bed nothing would. Emma entered the kitchen to chaos. While getting a box of cereal out of the top shelf of the cupboard, he had managed to knock the carton of juice off the counter and then had slipped over in the spilt juice, taking his glass and cereal bowl with him. As Emma rushed into the kitchen with Calon, Henry looked up from the carnage he was lying in and one look at his Ma, sent them both into gales of laughter. Calon was put into his highchair and Emma pulled her eldest son up out of the mess. "Kid, I'm not sure I even want to know how you managed to do all this, but I do know that if your Mom comes down to this mess, she's gonna kill you. Then she'll kill me. Then she will punish us. Then she'll kill us both together." So after cleaning Henry up a little so that he didn't drip all over the place, they set to cleaning up the mess.
As they cleaned, Emma's mind drifted to Regina and where she was. Her first thoughts were envy. Envy that she had managed to sleep through all the noise and chaos and even more so, envy that she got to stay in bed and miss all the work. Emma looked up sharply. "Henry, keep an eye on Calon, I'm just gonna go up and check on your Mom. It's really not like her to sleep this late – especially on a school day".
Emma sprinted up the stairs, trying not to panic. She couldn't remember a time that Regina had ever slept in, even on weekends. She quietly eased the door open and there lay Regina, just as Emma had left her. The bedclothes were bundled around her, face turned into the pillow with just the top of her head visible. It was a wonder she could breathe under all of that. "Regina…. Regina honey?" Emma whispered as she gently shook her shoulder and ran her hand down Regina's side. Regina groaned and moved a little, but pushed her face further into the bed. Emma climbed over Regina and pushed the sheets down to see her face. She smoothed her hand across Regina's forehead and snatched it back quickly. Regina was on fire. Her face was pale but she felt so hot. Regina mumbled something at her and Emma shook her a bit harder now. "Regina! Wake up honey, tell me what's wrong!" Regina fought to open her eyes and she looked at Emma. Her beautiful deep brown eyes were glazed over and dull. "I don't feel so good Emma" Regina rasped weakly. Emma pushed hair back out of Regina's face and pressed her lips to her forehead. Whispering quietly Emma looked Regina in the eye "Oh baby, you don't look well and you're burning up. Where does it hurt?" Regina swallowed thickly, her throat obviously a problem. "I feel hot, then cold. My head is killing me and my throat hurts a lot. I'm just aching all over and I feel like death" and as she looked back up at Emma a single tear rolled down her cheek. Emma caught it and kissed her there. "Oh beautiful, I've never seen you ill before, but I promise I'll look after you until you're back on your feet." Regina moaned, "I'm not sure I remember being ill like this Emma. I'm sorry". Emma lay down fully on the bed and took Regina in her arms, cradling her and drawing her head against her chest… "Don't apologise Regina. You have nothing to be sorry for, you can't help getting sick. I'm going to look after you until you get better, then when you're all better, I'm going to spoil you." Regina looked up at her worried. "What about the boys?" Emma huffed out a laugh. "Regina, stop worrying, the boys will be fine. Their other mommy will look after them. It won't be as organised as you. They won't be as neat and tidy I'm sure. Henry will probably eat a fair amount of junk food and go to bed late, but I promise you, I will look after them and the house and do my best to do it in the way that you do. And I'll do everything I can to make you better love". Regina could barely keep her eyes open, so Emma kissed her on the nose and laid her back down on the bed. As she got off the bed, Emma pulled up the bedclothes and tucked her in. before she left the room, she dropped one last kiss on Regina's forehead "I love you, my Regina" she whispered.
Back in the kitchen Henry was busy trying to shove sloppy goo into Calon's mouth, while eating his own toast. Emma stood in the doorway watching her two sons, feeling proud. Henry was growing up fast and he had taken to big brother duties like a duck to water. He loved playing with Calon and reading him stories. He often helped to give him his bath. He hadn't helped with feeding before, but he had seen his moms doing it enough times to have a go at it himself. The only bit he avoided doing was diaper changing!
Henry looked up at his Ma and grinned. "Hey kid, thanks for helping with your brother." She sat down opposite Henry and took over the baby feeding. "Your Mom's not feeling very well kid, so you're stuck with me looking after you." Henry looked up and gasped, worry written on his young face. Emma laughed at his look. "Don't panic kid, it won't kill you, having me do stuff instead of Mom!" Henry looked down at the table. "I….I don't remember Mom ever being ill before. What's wrong with her?" He looked so young and so scared at that moment, Emma felt bad for laughing at him. "Come on Henry, Mom's been ill before, you've just been too young to realise until now". Henrys hand shot out and grabbed Emma's arm. "Honest Ma, I don't remember her ever, ever being ill before…." Emma got up and stood behind him, leaning over and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Listen up Henry" kissing the side of his head "Your mom has the flu or something. Sore throat, bad head, aching body. She's going to get better, especially with us looking after her. And I promise you Henry, she's bound to have been ill before. Everyone gets ill! Think about it Henry, think about how strong your Mom is, how stubborn your Mom is. And how your Mom has always put you first. She won't have allowed being ill to stop her." Henry nodded. He could imagine his Mom working through being ill and putting him first. Calon had had enough of being ignored so he started knocking over anything within his reach. Emma left Henry and picked Calon up.
"Right you two, we need to get ready for the day or you're going to be late for school Henry. And I need to organise someone to cover me at work for a day or two" Henry trudged up the stairs, never as keen to go to school as he was when Emma first met him – she was dreading him turning into a teenager!
Emma gave Calon the quickest of baths and then started ringing the sheriff's office volunteers. She found someone to cover for the first few hours. That would give her time to get Henry to school and then ring for cover for the next few days. Henry insisted on seeing his Mom before he left for school and Emma had been unprepared for just how upset he got at seeing his mother confined to her bed, looking so poorly. He was silent all the way to school and when they parked outside he just sat in the car, looking completely dejected. Emma knew what was wrong, she just knew she couldn't fix it for him and that upset her. This was the hard side of being a mother. This was the bit that sucked!
"Henry look at me" she pulled her face towards her. "I promise you Henry, that's the worst that Mom is going to look. I know it's scary, but she only gets better from here on. She needs lots of rest and for us to look after her. So if you get the chance today, can you make her a get well soon card and then when you come home, I want you to give her the biggest smile you have. That way she won't worry about us and she'll rest properly and get better quicker. Does that make sense?" Henry nodded and smiled sadly at his Ma. "I love you Ma". "I love you more, Henry".
Later, back at the house, Emma began to realise just how much she took Regina for granted. After cleaning up the breakfast mess, she started on sorting out the mess she had left in Calon's room that morning. All the while she was trying to keep the baby entertained. Then she remembered she still had to find cover for the office. Calon soon got fed up of her being on the phone and as it neared his nap time, he became more and more grizzly and annoyed. By the time Emma realised that he was late for his nap because of her phone calls, he was over tired and then fought being put to bed. Emma was ready to cry herself by the time his long eyelashes fluttered against his cheek and stayed there. Creeping from his room, Emma went on to her bedroom, to see how her girl was. Regina looked like she hadn't moved since she had left her that morning. She was still bundled up under the bed clothes. Emma felt like she wanted to crawl back in with her.
Instead she sat on the edge of the bed and touched her forehead. It was still very hot and Emma realised she was a little scared at what that actually meant. She has never really had to look after anyone before. Apart from the little colds that Calon had had since he started teething and that one time when Henry had got sick from eating food from a burger van, Emma had no experience of looking after someone who was ill. Certainly not on her own anyway. What did you do for a temperature? Should Regina be sleeping this much? Were there medicines to help with this? As soon as Calon woke from his nap, she would take him down to the pharmacy and get anything and everything that could help!
Regina started to stir, so Emma yanked her hand back. She was so lost in her thoughts she hadn't realised she was running her hand through Regina's hair. A groan signalled that Regina had awoken, but it was a little while longer before she could get her eyelids to cooperate and open. Emma was gazing at her, looking very concerned. Although it ached to move, Regina lifted her arm and cupped Emma's cheek. "Don't worry so, darling" Regina rasped "I'll get better I promise. Especially with you looking after me". Emma smiled. Regina smiled back. She couldn't understand why Emma looked so concerned, it was only the flu at worst. "Can I get anything for you Regina? Is there something that will make you better?" Emma sounded like a child as she asked what to do. Regina shook her head. "No Emma there's nothing. I'm just going to have to rest and this will pass. If you could get me some warm lemon and put some honey in it, it'll help a lot, but you and the boys just need to stay away from me so that I can get better and not pass this on, okay."
Emma nodded and released her hands from where they had been around Regina. "I just hate seeing you ill and not being able to fix it, beautiful", she looked longingly at Regina. Even pale and sick she was breathtaking. She would do anything for this woman. Emma kissed Regina's forehead and left her to sleep. The rest of the day was taken with picking Henry up from school, helping him with his ridiculously hard homework, cooking supper, and keeping the boys so entertained that they didn't go looking for their Mom. When Emma got into bed that night, she was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
Waking the next morning, she realised they had an extra guest in their bed. Sometime during the night, Henry had snuck in and was lying against Emma's side. She looked down at the top of his head and realised that he was awake and staring at Regina across Emma's chest. "Hey Henry" Emma whispered as she ruffled his hair, "worried about Mom?" "I'm sorry Ma, but I couldn't sleep last night, so I came in here. But I slept on your side so that I wouldn't disturb her" They were both looking over at Regina. She still had lots of bedclothes piled on her but they now only went up to her chest, so they were both able to look upon her face. Emma could see that he had a little colour to her cheeks, so she was hopeful that Regina would be feeling a little better when she woke. "Come on kid, up as quietly as you can so we don't disturb Mom". Emma and Henry slid out of bed and crept out of the bedroom, calling in to grab Calon on their way downstairs. Breakfast this morning was a lot less chaotic than yesterdays had been and Emma was pleased that she was able to do this without relying on Regina so much. Things would change when Regina got better. She had been letting Regina do too much for too long. They were partners, equals who shared their lives. When Regina had first found out she was pregnant with Calon, Emma had promised she wouldn't be on her own and that she would help her raise the boys. Yet Regina did nearly everything around the house, even though she was back in work.
She took honey and lemon up to the bedroom, hoping that Regina would be starting to wake up now. As she approached the closed door she could hear music or noise or something, coming from the bedroom. As she cracked the door open she could see Regina propped up slightly in bed watching the morning news on the TV at the foot of their bed. She grinned. YES! Regina was getting better! She had to stop herself from running into the room and throwing herself at Regina. Regina, ever aware, turned her head towards Emma and smiled at her. It was a tired smile, but it reached her eyes and she held out her hand for Emma to take. Emma grasped it tightly and climbed over her, much like she had done the morning before. She leaned over and put the cup of lemon on the nightstand and then laid her head on Regina's chest. Regina smoothed her hair as if comforting a small child. "How you feeling this morning beautiful?" Emma asked as she looked up into the eyes of her lover. Regina smiled indulgently. "I still feel pretty awful, but not so hot and not so achy. Stop worrying Emma. A few days from now, this will all be over and forgotten."
"No!" Emma shook her head and sat up. She crossed her legs and sat facing Regina, taking her hand between the two of hers. "No, I won't forget this. I know you think I'm daft for worrying about you so, but it's been scary. Because I've suddenly realised that you're not invincible. You've always been the strong one, you've had all the answers and you've held everything together. I've only been at this one day and I don't know how you do it! Things are going to change Regina. I want to do more around here. I'm sorry it's taken you getting sick to realise how much is on you. So when you're up and better we're going to have a chat about me doing more. I want an equal partnership with you."
Regina smiled at her. A loving smile. At times it felt like there were three children living in the house not two. She loved Emma desperately, but sometimes when she was picking up after her and Emma was stretched out in front of the TV, she felt more like a slave than a lover. But Emma had seen for herself that she needed to do more. And Regina loved her for it. "I really want to kiss you Emma, but I don't want to spread my germs." Emma leaned over Regina and kissed her neck. "I love you, beautiful. I know we haven't promised it yet, but in sickness and in health. I'll always love you Regina." She laid her head on the pillow next to Regina and cupped her cheek, just smoothing her thumb over the soft skin there. Their eyes were fixed on each other, but Emma was afraid to speak, her emotions were so close to the surface.
There was a crash again – this time from Henry's bedroom. Emma dropped her head to the pillow, the moment lost. "That'll be Henry 'helping' again, I'd better go beautiful". Regina nodded weakly and even though it was probably a stupid idea, Emma leaned forward and kissed her lips. "Anything I can get you while I'm out? Fancy something sweet….maybe some ice cream?" Regina's eyes lit up at the suggestion of ice cream. It was an incredibly well kept secret, only Henry and Emma knew, that the Mayor adored ice cream, especially choc fudge brownie flavour. Emma wanted to stay and just sit and stare at Regina, but she knew she had to get herself organised. Climbing back over Regina she said "Okay queen, I need to get Henry to school and on the way back I'll call and get some groceries. If you need me, your cell is on your nightstand, otherwise, rest up and Calon and I will be home soon". She gave Regina one last lingering kiss before she left the room.
Emma was getting into the swing of being mother. Henry was dropped at school, this time remembering his packed lunch. It even had healthy food that Regina would approve of in it. She had done the grocery shopping, including three different types of ice cream (well if you couldn't be spoiled when you were ill, when could you?) and she was now tackling the mountain of washing that had somehow built up over three days. How could two boys go through so many clothes? Calon was sitting on the kitchen floor watching his Ma sort through the whites and colours while chewing on his giraffe, when suddenly he burst into tears. He had been unsettled all morning, but Emma couldn't figure out just what was wrong with him. Perhaps he was coming down with the same thing as Regina. "Mom!" Emma almost yelled as she picked up Calon and held him to her chest. "You're missing your Mom aren't you little dude? Oh I'm sorry darling boy. I've kept you away from her so you wouldn't get what she's got, but I should have realised that you would miss her" she explained as she climbed the stairs. She burst into their bedroom and Regina beamed when she saw her boy – and Calon squealed in delight. And although it was a bad idea for Calon to get too close to Regina in case he caught her germs, it was a very good idea to reunite mother and son. Regina touched her forehead to Calon's as she held him close and both closed their eyes. Emma stood back arms wrapped around herself content to watch this beautiful scene before her. It was as if they had been separated for weeks not a day and a bit. Now that he was in his Mom's arms he settled quickly and was asleep moments later. As much as Regina was enjoying it, Emma realised that she was finding it hard to hold Calon when she was still quite weak, so Emma took back her now sleeping son and took him into his room for his nap.
Emma hesitated at the top of the stairs. She should go back down and finish the laundry that she was doing when Calon had started crying. But her heart was lying in that bed and, just like Calon; she was missing her and needed to be with her. She crept back in the bedroom and slid onto the bed. The movement roused Regina, but not enough to really wake up. Just enough to know that she was being gathered by Emma, pulled into her and held against her. Her head now lay on Emma's chest and she could hear her heartbeat. It was the place she felt safest. Emma felt her eyes grow heavy and gave into the warm feeling of sleeping next to her lover.
She didn't think she had slept for very long, but as she woke, she could hear Calon in his room. He was babbling to himself, but he wouldn't be content to amuse himself for much longer. Careful not to wake Regina again, Emma rolled over so that Regina lay on her back and Emma slid her arms free. Calon held his arms up to Emma as she entered the room and she gladly held him, giving him raspberry kisses on his neck and cheek. Most times she held him she took him for granted, but every now and again it would hit her that he was really hers and she was his mother. When he smiled at her, he smiled because there was his beloved Ma and he was happy to see her. When she gave raspberry kisses he giggled and squealed in a way that only happened when it was her doing it. She had missed all of this with Henry, and she was giddy with happiness, knowing that with Calon she had another chance.
"Come on little dude, your big brother will be home soon and we need to have some food ready for the growing boy!" Emma bounced him on her hip as she carried him into the kitchen. Still on the floor was all the laundry that she had been sorting earlier and hadn't finished. Calon had a fun few moments as she crawled around in it while Emma organised a snack for Henry (and a healthy one to boot – Regina was really rubbing off on her!). Once that was done, the laundry was swept away and Emma took Calon back upstairs, into hers and Regina's bedroom.
Regina was awake once more and she held out her arms for Calon with a delighted look on her face. Calon sat on her chest and pushed his hands into her face giggling with delight at seeing his Mom once again. Emma was moving around in the en-suite cleaning up when she heard simultaneous giggles from the bedroom. Sticking her head around the door, she saw Regina holding Calon flat to her chest with his arms around her neck, both with their eyes closed and wide grins. At the same moment, Henry quietly opened the bedroom door, obviously mindful of his mum resting. However when he saw his brother on the bed, he flung himself on the bed too and snuggled into his Mom. Emma came back out of the bathroom, to a perfect picture in front of her. Kneeling next to the bed, she ran her fingers through Regina's hair. "Hey beautiful" Emma whispered. Regina turned to look at her and Emma kissed her, first on the mouth and then running kisses up to her ear. "I love you, my Regina. You and the boys together on the bed remind me of the day Calon was born. I stood at the end of the bed and realised everything I ever wanted was there on that bed. Nothing's changed, beautiful and it never will." Regina looked her in the eye and said "every day with you just gets better and better. I love you my darling." They gazed at each other again for a moment before Emma leaned forward to capture Regina's lips once more. Henry cleared his throat to get their attention, "you know Ma, we are still in the room. Ma! You're gonna catch whatever Mom has. Ma!" "I could care less kid!" Emma said smiling against Regina's lips and continued kissing her love. It had been too long and she needed to feel Regina's lips against her own. Mindful of their sons however, they kept it quite chaste – just too long for Henry's liking! And Calon's too it seemed. Emma could feel her long hair being pulled, wrapped in tiny little fingers. Calon was unhappy at being so close to his mothers but not getting attention.
"Okay, okay, we'll stop!" Emma exclaimed as she broke off the kiss and unwrapped Calon from her hair. "So how about this for an idea? I'll get some pizza ordered, Henry you go downstairs and find a DVD for us to watch, maybe The Lion King, Calon loves that one. Calon you stay cuddled to Mommy and Mommy you just stay there resting and looking beautiful."
Fifteen minutes later, they were all lying on the bed, Regina and Emma with their sons between them, munching on pizza and watching a film. Regina and Emma's eyes met across the boys and they smiled. Regina's eyes were starting to get heavy. She still felt quite ill and while she loved having everyone in bed with her, it was starting to get very tiring. Emma sat up a little and ran her fingers through Regina's hair. "Go to sleep Queen, I love you". As Regina's eyes drifted shut, Emma whispered "I can't wait for you to be better, then I'll show you how much!"