Disclaimer : Oh, please. Who would believe it ?

Beta'ed by the wonderful JaimiePrufrock, who even found the title. Have I thanked you already ? ^^

Just Desserts

The shout – well, more of a war cry, actually – surprised him at first, but then he watched gleefully as Acting Captain Spock proceeded to brutally give Cadet Townie a whole new face. Take that, Townie; it'll teach you to not piss off Vulcans.

He saw from the corner of his eye his partner shooting him a worried look, nervously fidgeting with his phaser, and he negatively shook his head. In no way was he going to risk harming Captain Spock, not when he was doing such a good job choking Cadet Townie.

…Who was making strange strangled sounds. Alright, so maybe they would have to stop him. An inter-species murder was always a messy thing, and they couldn't afford to deal with it right now.

He had just grabbed his phaser – to incapacitate Cadet Townie, not Captain Spock, because he was not stupid enough to incur the Vulcan's wrath upon himself, thank you very much – when the older Vulcan – Ambassador Sarek? – decided to intervene. "Spock."

He stood there, finger on the trigger, while Acting Captain Spock slowly turned around with a broken look on his usually expressionless face. Trying to ignore Townie's rough coughing, he followed the Captain's slightly dazed eyes and his gaze fell on Uhura's shocked features. His finger spasmed on the trigger, and thank God the security was on, because he nearly shot the still dripping guy standing beside him.

Captain Spock broke the last stare he was giving at Townie. No, don't go…! His eyes narrowed as they followed the stumbling Acting Captain across the Bridge. Surely he was not leaving? The Vulcan was still on duty. If there was one thing he hated, it was a defecting crew member. His indignation was still growing when Spock stopped in front of doctor McCoy, seemingly fascinated by the floor. "Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command, based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log."

…

…

…What?

His partner gave him a blank look, and he realised that he had said it aloud. Gritting his teeth, he checked the security of his phaser again; he didn't want to be tempted to shoot someone. Maybe it was for the best that Uhura didn't hold Spock back, because the Vulcan would probably have been the first victim. In normal circumstances, this sudden need for blood would be worrying, but right now he couldn't care less.

He inhaled sharply when the short – and still dripping – man suddenly exclaimed something about the Starship. He looked at him incredulously. Hadn't this idiot realised that they were all doomed and it really wasn't the right time for jokes? Maybe he could shoot him instead of Spock. "Exciting," honestly…

He was opening his mouth to tell him that his health would be in serious danger if he continued to grin stupidly, when doctor McCoy beat him to it and started speaking in a cold, angry voice. "Well, congratulations, Jim. Now we've got no captain, and no goddamn First Officer to replace him."

When his partner whimpered and hid his face in his hands, he made his decision. He would apply for a new ship as soon as they were back to Earth. The entire crew was unfit to space-sail, and he refused to get contaminated by the ambient madness. Wait, WHAT was Townie doing, sitting in the Captain chair?

"Pike made him First Officer." He stared at the Asian helmsman, aware that his face was showing the horror he was feeling. This madness had started before they met that Romulan?

"You gotta be kidding me!" Thank you, doctor McCoy. Exactly what he would have said if his vocal chords were functioning. As it was, he was having difficulties remembering how to breathe, and lights were starting to appear in front of his eyes. Help, someone?

"Thanks for the support…"

He felt numb. His phaser was trembling in his hand. When Cadet Uhura returned to her station, he took the opportunity to put it back in its belt. His brain was trying to keep up with what was happening. His horrified face changed to one of dawning comprehension as he listened to Cadet – no, Captain Townie give instructions to the crew. His erratic breathing slowly calmed down, and he allowed himself a few seconds of stumbling thoughts before he silenced them and studied the new Acting Captain.

Townie was sitting in his chair as if he had been there his whole life. His steely blue eyes were staring straight through the screen in front of him, and his strong voice wasn't wavering. Despite his youth, Townie's posture was screaming confidence.

It was frightening.

"Kirk out." Townie cut the communication and got up. "We have work, everyone. Can someone bring a towel and some clothes for Mr. Scott?"

"Finally!" The man beside him sighed and dropped his hands. "Thank you, Captain."

Oh God, Townie was looking at him now. He turned and had nearly taken a step toward the exit before a purring voice called him back. "Cupcake? Make sure someone sends coffee here on your way back."

He clenched both hands by his sides and nodded curtly without turning back. His partner's gaping mouth was certainly better to look at than Townie's smirking one.

Resigning. He was resigning as soon as possible. Townie as Captain? A nightmare.

A/N : I love Cupcake. And you do too. So tell me how much in a review ^^