The blood has long since been washed from her hands and the bloodied clothes stripped away and brunt. The words of the exorcism permanently etched into her memory and the young man's last words are seared into her heart and will stay with her forever. Thank you, he said with his last breath and died in her arms, a feeling she won't soon forget, though she aches to. When it is done she barely has time to get out to the yard before she vomits in the dying grass. It's a terrible thing having someone die in your arms. Feeling a soul being ripped from a body, it shakes you in ways you never thought possible.
Dean found her on her knees, praying to a God that he didn't believe in. He touched her and he could feel her body trembling. He can't think of anything to say to comfort her. The words that come to mind are hollow and meaningless, you get used to it, so he holds her like she's never held before and he lets her cry.
The sad thing is you do get used to it. You get comfortable around death, and blood and sadness that hangs heavy in a room, so dense you could swim in it. It's in the job description. It hardens you, desensitizes you. You become a hardened, killing machine out for blood and vengeance for the loved ones and the family they took from you. A life you don't want to live, a life that he doesn't want for her.
He begs her to get out now before she becomes accustomed to it. She only shakes her head and tells him she's only just begun and when he looks her in the eyes he can see that a part of who she was is dead and gone. But that's just another one of the casualties of the job. Add it to the long list of things you'll avenge.
He tried to tell her that once you're in, it's for life. She nods like she understands but deep down he knows that no one can truly understand that until they've tried and God knows he has. They'll come after you, he says with his voice barely above a whisper, they'll come after your friends and that's the worst part because they have no idea it's coming. They don't stop 'til every drop of blood is spilled.