Disclaimer:This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling
September Correspondences
Dear Malfoy,
I am writing this letter to notify you that the prefect meeting will push through this evening at exactly 8 in the evening. I have already asked permission from Professor McGonagall to use one of the classrooms in the 2nd floor, West Wing of the castle since it is the nearest one to the Great Hall. I asked everyone to be prompt as to not waste time since we have a couple of agenda to discuss, including the plans for promoting interhouse unity.
Again, show-up on time. And yes, Malfoy, this means no funny business after dinner.
P.S. Tardiness will not be tolerated, even if (especially since) you are the head boy.
Regards,
Hermione Granger
Blaise,
Be a dear and break-up with Pansy for me, yeah? The bane of my existence (ofcourse I'm talking about the banshee who has an incredulously mop of frizz she calls hair) is breathing down my neck again. Apparently, we have to meet with the prefects this evening. And get this, she did not even notify me beforehand! The ridiculous control freak took it upon herself to choose the date, reserve a venue, and make a whole list of objectives without even consulting me! ME! This is ME we're talking about. I might be a prick to most people, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of fulfilling my obligations! I have been juggling schoolwork and running our Apothecary since I was 12! I know more about organizing than she does. And for fuck's sake, I'm head boy!. I ALSO GET A SAY ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS. Who does she think she is!? I am going to prove my worth, and I'm going to do it so splendidly that I'll have Granger begging me to mentor her before the holidays.
By the way, I'm serious about the whole Pansy thing. Do it or I'll hex you two ways 'til Sunday.
-Draco
Dear Malfoy,
Have you read the letter I asked Theodore Nott to pass to you? I need to know you've received it. Do send a reply if you've received it or not.
Regards,
Hermione Granger
Granger,
Yes.
-Malfoy
Blaise,
The bloody thing sent me another letter! I can not believe this! Stop ignoring me!
-Draco
Draco,
First of all, stop being a whiny git. You're acting like a needy girlfriend. I did not sign-up for this when I accepted your friendship. For your information, I was not ignoring you. I was revising my notes in Divination. Bloody Trelawney started mumbling a bunch of crap in class a while ago. It was so bloody fast, no one understood a thing she was saying. All of our notes look like Ancient Runes written by a retarded chicken.
Secondly, stop referring to Granger as it. She is a lass, and I know YOU out of all people know that. Don't make me site things you know will embarass the living daylights out of you. And again with the whining. Suck it up. You've been living and breathing the same air, sharing the same space, and doing the same things for the past 6 years (excluding the year of the War, ofcourse). Aren't you supposed to be used to the kind of personality she has? Type A witch that one is, and you can't do anything about that anymore than Potter could. No amount of ranting nor hexing will make her do anything different. So again, SUCK IT UP. I am not your mother. I will not condone your tantrums you little twat.
Lastly, WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO BREAK UP WITH PARKINSON!? I have plans, Draco. Plans that would not be realized if I suddenly become impotent as a consequence of meddling with things I should and don't even want to take part in. You might be more powerful and wealthier than any of us in Slytherin, but you don't have the kind of influence Parkinson has within the walls of Hogwarts. That bloody bird can find ways to make sure no one, not even Millicent Bullstrode, will lay her eyes on you for the rest of your life. So no. I would not end things with Parkinson for you. Grow some balls and do it.
I am not suicidal.
P.S. You're lucky to have me, not the other way around.
Your daddy,
Blaise
Dear Mr. Blaise Zabini,
Greetings. I know you are finding it odd that I'm writing to you since we are not quite acquainted with each other but the same cannot be said for you and Malfoy. I have asked the Slytherin prefects where their head boy is but all of them do not have any idea. It has been 30 minutes past 8 and we cannot start convening without him. Do you have any idea of his whereabouts? If you see him, please do tell him that I need him this instant.
Thanks.
Regards,
Hermione Granger
Draco you bloody fool!
Granger had just owled me! Where in the gods are you!? If she comes down to the dungeons and tortures me for information, I swear to my ancestors I'm going to destroy you. Bloody wanker. Move your fucking arse to wherever it is that you're supposed to be meeting!
DO IT NOW!
P.S. If it helps, she told me to tell you that she NEEDS you.
Your brooding friend,
Blaise
Malfoy,
How many times have I told you to not leave food in the common room, especially liquorice? My cat is intensely allergic to those things and I can't have her getting sick every fortnight just because you fancy eating your snacks while revising! This will be the last time I'm asking you nicely about this. If Crookshanks starts scratching her face in my bed pole until the wee hours of the night again, I am reporting you to the headmistress!
From,
Hermione Granger
Granger,
That thing has a name?
-Malfoy
Blaise,
I have finally found who has been eating my liquorice! It's that bloody sad excuse for a cat called Crookshanks. It's a million times uglier than that Hippogriff that attacked me in third year, I swear to Merlin. And it's bloody stupid too! Turns out it's actually allergic to my candy and yet it keeps on gobbling up my sweets. Granger's totally going bonkers about it. It's quite amusing, really. She was so mortified when Crookers started going bald for excessive shedding. I guess I might have to purchase just a tad more candy when we visit Honeydukes this weekend.
P.S. Remind me to smack you for the damned things you told me in your letters two weeks ago. None of those were funny.
P.P.S. Stop insinuating that I give a shite about Granger. I can call her whatever it is I want to call her! Or it! I can even not call her anything and just refer to her as "I" as in "invisible" or "irrelevant." I does not matter. I is an insufferable cow who has a bloody ancient stick stuck to I's arse.
P.P.P.S. What happened during the Yule Ball was no big deal. I just ran out of things to say that night because Pansy kept on making me drink the spiked-up pumpkin juice. It's not as if I found I alluring or anything. I looked like a mess like how I has always been.
Yours,
Malfoy
Draco,
Do you really not have any idea how idiotic you sound? "I"...really? That's the best thing you can think of to replace pronouns? And here I was thinking that you are the only lad among us lot who is actually in the same intellectual plane as Granger. Thank you for proving me wrong.
And please lay-off on the cat. Godrick's! Granger's going to make sure you'll receive the Dementor's Kiss for murdering her beloved pet, and you know she can do it. Have you forgotten that Potter and Weasley are already working as Aurors for the Ministry? We both know how protective they are about her. One floo-call from Granger and I swear to Salazar a battalion of Aurors will personally escort you out of the school grounds.
I have to ask, what have you done to Parkinson? I saw her snogging one of the lower years in the Common Room last Friday. I never thought you'd manage to stay alive after dumping her...you did dump her, right?
We have a lot of catching-up to do this weekend. Meet-up at Three Broomsticks, yeah?
P.S. Shut up. You totally fancy Granger. You just don't know how to express it like a proper, normal wizard coz you're loony.
P.P.S. Hell right you are mine. No homo. But I do own you.
The air that fills your lungs,
Blaise
Malfoy,
Ofcourse he has a name! I just told you! And please stop referring to my cat as "it." You are such a git!
Make sure you check the new rounds schedule for the prefects. That will be for the month of October. I've taken the liberty to draft one up since you seem to be preoccupied by Quidditch and whatever it is you do every night in your room which consists of ungodly noises.
I assume that you know how to cast silencing charms. Use it, Malfoy. I enjoy sleeping a full eight hours thank you very much.
Regards,
Hermione Granger
Granger,
It seems like I'm actually not the one who has been lacking in initiative here. I actually slipped a note under your door two days ago regarding the documents I have neatly stacked in our shared study table. You'll find there the following:
1. A schedule that I drafted for the next month. By the way, I consulted the prefects about the said schedule so that we won't have to revise it in our upcoming meeting. Takes up too much bloody time, to be quite honest
2. A survey I conducted regarding the changes we have implemented to create a more conducive environment for friendship among students from different houses
3. A list of the possible topics, complete with references, for our Potions essay
I am greatly disappointed at you, oh clever one. You of all people should be keeping ahead of things. You are after all, the brightest witch of our age, are you not? Maybe you have lost your touch since Potter and Weasel aren't by your side anymore. Such a shame, really. Tsk.
As for your Crookers, it's not my fault you aren't responsible enough to actually domesticate him. I won't be surprised if that bloody beast will go on a rampage some time soon and end up scratching your eyeballs out. Keep him on a leash, will you?
From your lovely roommate and very competent Head Boy,
Draco Abraxas Malfoy
Blaise,
Your friend is a prat! How have you not murdered him yet?
Regards,
Hermione Granger
Draco,
I think Granger wants to be friends with me.
Either that or the bludger has really done a number on me.
I'm confused as shite.
Help.
Sincerely,
Blaise
Granger,
YOU WROTE ZABINI!?
~Malfoy
Author's Note: Hello everyone! This is my first Dramione fic so I hope that you'll be forgiving when it comes to giving reviews. I originally wanted this to be a one-shot but I changed my mind since all the necessary formatting to make everything comprehensible isn't really aesthetically appealing. So for convenience sake, I'm going to make this a 10 chapter (at most) story. Sorry if this one's quite short. I'm still testing the waters here.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to leave a review (and please to recommend it to your friends if you have time).