Crack idea I had the other night. Heeheeheeeeeee *evil smile*

I have no idea why, but I thought of it and now it's not gonna go away until I torture all of you with it.

*even more evil smile*

Prepare for crack randomness, OOC moments like hell, and random prattle! IT'S ALL COMIN DOWN

ONLINE. (Possibly only chapter…) DATING.

"Tee-Tee, I really appreciate all this, honest I do," Jackson Frost said, trying to push his insistent friend's hands away from his shirt, "but the last time the guy was a stalker. It took me months to move somewhere he couldn't find me." He swatted her hand away from the blue bow-tie around his neck. He frowned down at her, calling back her attention, saying, "Tee, I don't think this is a good idea."

Getting up from her crouched position, Jack's best gal pal Tatiana huffed and brushed his white blonde bangs out of his face. He swatted her hands away again. "Jack, come on, just one more try- I found someone who I really think you'll like!" she argued, tucking his white shirt into his pale blue pants.

Jack swatted her hand away again. "That's what you said last time, Tee," he grumbled, "I'm sick of you setting me up with blind dates you find on the internet." She sighed and finished tucking in his shirt. "And why do I have to dress up so much for this? The tie's kind of excessive, don't you think?"

"If you don't wanna wear the bow-tie, then don't. I offered you the silk tie earlier," she said, grabbing a comb and brushing his hair free.

"And look like a cookie cutter businessman?" he said indignantly, "I try very hard not to look like that EVER, Tee! Especially not on dates!"

She groaned, rolling her big, wide eyes. Sometimes Jack forgot she wore purple contacts. The color fit her so much better than her natural blues. Her messy blonde hair was left hanging loosely down around her shoulders, it was actually kind of messy, while the hair she had died green was tied up in a sloppy ponytail on the top of her head. It looked really cute on her, though- the messy hair. No wonder she had a fiancée' already.

Sitting down, once the preening had been finished- Tatiana always was a bit of a mother goose- Jack grumbled, "Look, Tee, I just don't wanna have another situation like Bobbert… He's still sending me E-mails…!"

"Oh come on, Jack!" she implored, holding her hands out, "I really think you'll like this guy! I'm almost positive you'll hit it off!"

Standing up again, Jack brushed off his pants and said, "No thanks. I don't trust hitting it off with anyone you met online… Never again…"

As her blue eyed friend began to walk toward the door of her studio, Tatiana folded her arms across her chest, huffed, then smirked.

His fingers touched the doorknob.

"He's tall."

Knuckles twitched. Swallowing, Jack flexed his fingers experimentally.

He should just walk out.

Just walk out now.

He knew what was good for him. He should just leave.

"How tall?" he couldn't help his curiosity.

Tatiana smirked.

"Six foot, seven."

Spinning around, Jack scowled at his friend. "I fucking hate you," he hissed. Tall was his weakness. He'd agree to date anyone if they were taller than he was.

And Tatiana knew it.

And he hated her for it.

He fucking hated her.

"I hate that bitch," Jack grumbled, adjusting his bow-tie on his neck. The restaurant he was supposed to meet the mystery man at was a daunting sight. It made all of his clothes feel too tight. He loosened the tie a little before stepping in and talking to the man at the desk. Hell, this place was so fancy he could safely call the man a concierge.

Smiling shyly, Jack said, "Uh, table for two… Uh… Under Bunny…?" The last word came out as a bit of a question it was so shy and pathetic. Bunny had been the code word. Tatiana chose it after her boyfriend's nickname.

The small man nodded with a 'humph' and walked Jack to his table. Damn, this place was fancy. He felt underdressed just looking at the waiters and waitresses! Swallowing nervously, he wondered if maybe he should have worn the silk blue tie and not his little ice blue bow-tie. He felt like people were looking at him funny.

He sat himself down, swallowing nervously and glancing about the place a few times. God, even his glass for wine looked expensive!

Shivering with nerves, Jack just hoped he wouldn't screw this up. A bubbly looking blonde waitress approached him, smiling brightly the whole way. He smiled meekly back at her.

"Can I get you anything to get started?" she asked after introducing herself. Her name was Belle. Belle… Such a pretty name… Not at all like Jack… Jack was such an awkward name that jumped off the tongue and hung in the air.

"Well, uh, actually I'm waiting for someone," he said, coughing nervously.

"Oh, alright, I'll just get you a water then and I'll be back when your date gets here, okay?"

Jack only nodded. Blushing lightly at the term date. His waitress brought him a glass of water, ice cubes jingling in it, and Jack quickly gulped down half of it. He hoped he wouldn't have to pee during the dinner.

He sat there, running his fingertips over the edge of his glass for at least ten minutes. His date was late… He frowned to himself.

"Why did I ever listen to Ta-Tee…?" he grumbled, dipping his pinky into the water and then spinning it around over the rim.

He didn't notice anyone approach his table. Everyone seemed to ignore him completely. He had given up looking up hopefully whenever he heard a nearby set of footsteps. It was always a waiter or a couple or a little family… It looked like his date would never show…

"Sorry I'm late," a voice to his right said, "You must be Jack?"

Blinking, Jack turned his head and felt his jaw go slack.

Hello tall, dark, and handsome…!

Jumping to his feet, Jack took the tall man's extended hand and gaped at him. Slick black hair pushed over his head, spiking out behind his skull, shimmering golden-amber eyes smiled at him, and holy shit was he tall! Tee had been right, he had to be AT LEAST six foot, five! His knees felt weak: looking up into that handsome, chiseled face. A sharp, pointed nose and a long, thin chin- this man was one of the most attractive people he had ever seen!

Swallowing nervously, letting his hand fall back to his side, Jack fumbled with words. "Y-yeah, I'm Jack…"

The taller man smiled at him. "I'm Pitch," he said, bowing his head a little, "Tatiana's told me a little bit about you. But it's a pleasure to meet you in person."

Jack nodded, cheeks feeling hot as those piercing amber eyes looked at him. Pitch carefully made his way to his seat opposite Jack at the table, smiling warmly when Jack sat as well.

"I apologize again for being late," he said, "Lost track of time…"

Blushing sheepishly, Jack squeezed his shoulders close to his neck- he could practically feel his shirt touching his ears. "Oh, it's okay," he said, "I'm just happy you're here at all." Pitch smiled awkwardly and Jack felt like slamming his head into the table. That was probably a really rude thing to say.

The waitress was suddenly back. "Hi, can I get you anything?" she asked, smiling cheerily at Pitch.

The dark haired man blinked in surprise. "Oh, um," he cleared his throat, "May I just have water for now? I'm not quite ready to order… I just got here…"

"Okie dokie!"

Jack watched her scurry away. She had kinda rushed them… Had she been watching and waiting for the exact moment when Jack's date showed up? Creepy…

Looking back to Pitch, Jack blushed again, lifting his shoulders back up. God, he was handsome.

Jack was sure he must've looked like a gushing schoolgirl, which was unlike him, what with his shoulders raised, head bowed forward so that he was gazing at him from under his lashes, and toes curling inward, Jack was giving off all the physical signs of really being into a person. He practically radiated 'I like you'.

Belle gave Pitch his water and then practically danced off. The black haired man took a sip and then returned his attention to Jack. He blushed at seeing how intensely the blue eyed male was staring at him.

"What made you lose track of time?" Jack asked, pulling back after seeing how he had embarrassed the other man, "What made you late?" Just looking at this man he felt like he was the one. He could see the two of them bedded, married, raising children- just by looking into those eyes. And that was something that had never happened before. Even if he was attracted to someone it was never this intense.

Smiling shyly, Pitch said, "I was reading something for work and the next thing I knew it was five of eight…"

"What's your field?" the white haired man asked, brushing his bangs aside with a smile. Pitch's eyes followed his fingertips, but they quickly returned to Jack's face.

"Oh, um," Pitch seemed surprised Jack had asked. But he smiled and answered, "I'm a psychologist... Well, therapist, really… I help teenagers and young adults with their phobias and insecurities…"

"Really? Cool," Jack was impressed. That sounded like an interesting job in all honesty. What happened if he met someone who was afraid of therapists? That would probably suck.

"What about you?" Pitch asked, sipping more of his water, "What do you do?"

Smiling, Jack replied, "Well, I'm no therapist." Pitch smiled at the joke. "I work with kids," Jack said, "I work at a daycare center and sometimes I substitute teach with grade schoolers."

"You must really like little kids then," Pitch said, watching as the waitress shimmied through tables towards them.

"Little kids are the best," Jack said, following Pitch's gaze, "They're still small enough where you can play piggyback and they still believe in things like Santa and they'll want to play pretend and make-believe." Pitch smiled warmly at him at that. "Older kids don't do fun things like that…"

The waitress wasn't far away now.

"No, they don't," Pitch agreed, "the older children get; the more they think they're grown up…"

"You ever work with kids?" Jack asked curiously.

"No," Pitch said, "But I did have a daughter…" Jack felt himself deflate, "She was young and loved to play like that for years…"

The waitress interrupted them, asking them what they wanted to eat. Jack looked over his menu once more to be sure. He ordered a lobster pasta dish. Pitch ordered something with chicken and eggplant.

Belle nodded and hurried off.

Looking back at his date forlornly, Jack asked, "So you're straight?"

"No," Pitch replied. Jack felt his face light up. "I thought I was for a long time… Convinced myself, really… Enough to get married and have a child…" he explained, "But I never really felt any passion… And eventually I had to come out and face the truth…"

Jack tried looking sad for him, but it was difficult when he was doing cartwheels inside with joy.

"Did your wife re-marry?" he asked. Pitch nodded. "And what happened to your daughter?"

"She's in college now," Pitch replied, smiling a little. Jack smiled back.

"Oh, and, I'll pick up the tab," Pitch said.

Jack's whole body twitched. "What?" he squeaked, "No, you can't! I ordered one of the most expensive things on the menu! I thought I would be paying for it!"

Pitch laughed at how panicked Jack was. "It's okay, it's on me," he said, still chuckling, "After all, I made you wait for nearly half an hour. It's the least I can do…"

Jack blushed, but whispered a meek little okay and drank some more of his water. The two of them talked for a while longer about their lives and about their friends before Belle returned with their food.

The blue eyed man froze when he saw Pitch take a bite of his food. They had actually been eating for a little while, but he had finally decided to look up. Seeing Pitch's tongue and his lips close around the fork suddenly made Jack hot. Licking his lips hungrily, Jack wished it was him those lips were tasting. He wanted to kiss Pitch.

"Uh… Could I try a little of yours?" he asked, blushing a little. Pitch smiled and allowed it. He held out his forkful of food. Jack leaned forward, making sure to make the motion of taking the food as sensual as possible. He wrapped his tongue around the food, lowered his teeth, and then closed his lips around it- all while gazing at Pitch through half lidded eyes.

The tall man noticed instantly, and his cheeks darkened. "J-Jack," he whispered, watching the boy with his lips around the metal. Jack made sure to moan for him as he pulled back. He wanted Pitch to know exactly where he was headed.

Pitch blushed and looked away sheepishly.

"Wanna try a little of mine?" Jack offered, twirling noodles around his fork. Judging by the smirk Pitch sent him he knew what Jack was planning on doing. But he leaned forward and took the noodle in between his teeth. Jack quickly took the other end on his side and smirked.

The two slowly slurped together, closer, closer. Finally the fork was no longer needed. They inched closer, opening their mouths at the very end and capturing each other in a kiss. Jack moaned softly as he licked Pitch's tongue- he wanted to be sure he was tasting him and not the food.

"Mm- mmmm…" Jack moaned, lifting his hands up, he cupped Pitch's face, Pitch quickly did the same to him, and they French Kissed above their table.

When their lips parted, Jack moaned lowly feeling Pitch swipe his tongue across his one last time in the open air. "Aannhh…"

Pitch sat back down, Jack followed slowly, sighing happily at the new taste in his mouth. He gazed at Pitch dreamily, resting his chin on his elbow and staring. He didn't care if people had seen or heard them- that was fantastic! One of the best kisses he had ever had!

Sliding his foot out of his shoe, Jack stretched his leg out under the table and he tucked his foot under Pitch's crisp black pant-leg. He began running his foot up and down his calf muscle as slowly and sensually as possible. Pitch shuddered, letting a soft pant out as Jack pushed his shoe off and began rubbing his toes against the bottom of Pitch's foot. They played footsie like that for a while before it was obvious neither one of them was going to last like this.

Smiling, Jack asked, "Wanna head outside…? Maybe to your car so we can finish this…?" Blushing lightly, Pitch nodded. They walked up together to go pay, earning a few unhappy glances from heterosexual couples there that night. Not everyone approved of homosexuals, but Jack didn't give two shits what they thought.

They went outside, Pitch led Jack to a large black car in the back of the parking lot, and climbed into the backseat of Pitch's car. The very first thing they did after closing the door was pull their shirts open and the opposite male's pants down.

Jack pushed Pitch down onto his back, straddling his legs and freeing the tall man's erection from his underwear. Pitch watched him with dazed eyes as Jack took the length into his hand and felt it up a few times.

"Mm… Ten inches..." Jack mewled. Pitch was very well endowed- anyone would be lucky to find someone longer.

"My wife always made comments about that," Pitch said, moaning softly as Jack began pumping his shaft, "Used to call me a horse…"

Jack snickered. "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." Pitch nodded and let his head fall back. Jack bent forward, wiggling his legs back so he could get at the right angle, and he licked Pitch's head. The taller male shivered at the wet appendage, but moaned happily nonetheless.

Soon enough Jack was bobbing his head up and down like a madman. And Pitch was writhing and wiggling beneath him in ecstasy. Jack adored the breathy moans coming from him.

"Hanh, ha, Jaaaack," Pitch moaned, gripping the white locks tight.

Jack bobbed his head faster. It was invigorating to taste this. To feel Pitch's hot length burning in the back of his throat.

Sliding his lips off with a loud, purposeful pop, Jack hopped over Pitch's lap. He positioned himself above the unthinkably long erection and carefully used his hands to guide it in. Pitch helped too, lowering Jack's body down slowly.

It breached him wonderfully. Jack moaned happily as it inched its way in. Finally he slid all the way down, moaning again at feeling it touch deep inside him. He wasn't all the way in yet; Jack knew that- he could tell Pitch wasn't fully in him yet. But a few thrusts and he'd be stretched and willing enough to let it all in.

Jack raised himself up, then slid back down, slowly building up a tempo. He let a moan roll out as he began bouncing wantonly on Pitch's erection. He impaled himself over and over again, mewling helplessly as it forced its way in deeper with each downward bounce.

Soon he was a wailing, gasping mess with a rock hard dick up his ass. He choked at the intense pleasure coiling deep in his stomach. He was so hot. So close…

"Anh, anh, Pitch," the smack of skin greeted his ears. His vision blurred as he was bounced up and down. His prostate was pounded over and over again.

"Pitch, Piiitch…" his hands clutched the man beneath him. His ass slammed back down after every violent upward thrust from Pitch. His balls smacked into the stiff abs below. He moaned his lover's name as many times as he possibly could. Letting the world know exactly who was making him feel this way.

"More, Pitch…! Moore," his member throbbed. The coil in his stomach tightened. Oh, God, he was close. Sweat ran down his back, dripping down Pitch's dick and splashing off when he rutted upwards. Push, push, push. It was like the up and down of a never ending rollercoaster. And his ass was riding that rollercoaster alone.

"Anh, fuuuck, Piiitch…! I'm gonna come- oaaahhh!" he moaned loudly, probably alerting people heading back to their cars. Then again, the fact that the entire car was rocking back and forth with the force of Pitch's thrusts was more of a dead giveaway. His head pressed to Pitch's shoulder as he wailed. The coil pulled impossibly tight inside his stomach.

Then it snapped. Jack's eyes went wide and he screamed with his release.

"Oh, God, Piiiiiiiiitch!" His ass was gripped tight as the massive length slammed faster and faster into him. Disappearing into his lewd body with loud, forceful smacks and squelches. Jack screamed as his orgasm ripped through him.

"Ah-hh!" he gasped loudly when he felt Pitch pull him down, shoving in deep, ripping through a new ring of muscle no one had ever reached before, and his cock throbbed viciously in him. His eyes rolled back into his head. Finally all of his seed finished pouring out. Jack's ecstasy rippled through him in waves, each bringing a soft moan of content.

He smiled at the reek of sex in the car.

Tatiana smiled brightly when Jack held up a piece of paper in front of her. It had black numbers scrawled across it, with the word "Pitch" underneath.

"You hit it off with Pitch?!" she squeaked excitedly.

Jack nodded. "More than hit it off!" Tatiana squealed and hugged him affectionately. They spun around and around as she screamed about how happy she was. Jack only smiled so himself. He was looking forward to seeing this online date again.

Hahahahahahaha. That was perfect!

I don't understand why no one's done an online dating situation yet!

COME ON PEOPLE! I CAN'T DO IT ALL MYSELF! I NEED TO STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S IDEAS!