thirteen

thirteen- Easton, NJ

My stepmom doesn't understand me. Her boyfriend whatever the fuck his name is doesn't understand me. My so-called friends don't understand me. Always tryin to suck up. "Oh yeah, we know how it feels." No fuckheads, you DON'T know how it feels. Cos if you did, you'd put a bullet in your head. I'm just too pussy to do it. But don't you worry my so-called friends. I'll find a way to make y'all happy

Bitching about life - it's the new school fad. "I wanna kill myself, everyone hates me, oh boohoo, life isn't fair." Well why don't you try out my life shithead. I'll bet you wont last two days

sing us a song

a song to keep us warm

theres sucha chill

fourteen- Upper Falls, NJ

Mom got a new boyfriend today down at the strip. Says his name's Jonathan Moses, but everyone calls him Johnny Boozehound. Beat me so bad once, doc said I need a new liver. Mom just stood there like a stoned idiot crying her ass off. One of these days, I'm gonna get me a 9mm. Give Johnny some good ol brain surgery. Stupid motherfucker. Hell, why not include the missus. She don't do nothing cept bitch and bone the mailman

Ya know, drowning myself would be cool…nothin says "Get your shitty hands offa me" like a watery corpse. In the meantime, I've got some random fucking to do

pack and get dressed

before your father hears us

before all hell breaks loose

fifteen- Green Acres, NJ

The teachers say everyone's unique. But they also say everyone grows up equal. And all of us are god's children, as disgusting as that sounds

What fucking hypocrites. I guess that means god's children are fucktards, and his teachers the paid fucktards. If 15 years has taught me anything, and it hasn't – its never to live by a book…unless it's a freebasing manual

There's no god, and there's no satan. There's only this piece of worthless shit called me. And the Others. Fuck you jesus, I aint wastin the shift key on your crucifed ass. If you're so righteous, you woulda blown up the high school by now

you can laugh

a spineless laugh

we hope your rules and wisdom choke you

sixteen- Green Acres, NJ

Think I'm gonna hang myself tomorrow. Cuts aren't enough, I gotta go out with a bang. Then maybe the so-called friends will care - like they say they do. I can see through em like glass. Bitch and whine about how shitty life is, then go home to their 3-story houses and eat a giant cooked dinner

But first I'm gonna fuck me some white trash down the strip. The badges can handle me after that. Bye bye world, you piece of shit

wake from your dreams

the drying of your tears

today we escape

seventeen- Green Acres, NJ

FUCK FUCK FUCK! I chickened out, like the motherfucking pussy piece of SHIT I am…can't believe I got freaked by a fucking piece of rope and I can hear em laughing at me even in my sleep calling me a pussy, playing over and over like some shitty rap and WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING DIE

Fucking Naruto.

Thirteen more years of hell on this rock. Then I'm gonna blow all these miserable motherfuckers to pieces. Something that'll get on TV. Never paid much attention in physics, but thirteen years is enough time to rig something up. The bigger the better.Yeah that'll show you shitheads

Fucking Naruto. I'll be sure to blow his guts out fore anyone else. Tryin to "turn me around," you cocky piece of shit. You're first in line Naruto. Enjoy, you fag motherfucker

now we are one

in everlasting peace

Thirty- Philadelphia, PA

Some wise old man once said that you getyour brain deliveredat age 5. At 13, you learn to useit for lying, manipulation, and all sorts of nastiness. At 20, you finally realize you were using them for said lying, manipulation, and all sorts of nastiness. At 30, you finally start abandoning some of them. At 40, you know what's right and what's wrong. If you don't, go book yourself a seat in Hell. I've got ten years to get my morals in shape. And you know what? It's looking pretty good so far. Never thought I'd say that.

Too bad this wise old man was run over by a watermelon truck - apparently he wasn't wise enough to cross the street. Still, the sense in those words didn't get knocked out by flying melons.

Now that I look back, I think about what a jerk I was. To my stepmom. To my friends. To myself. To you.

It's been thirteen years. I remember your mom couldn't handle it. She took some whites and the cops saw her foam to death. Around the time I used to call her a crackheaded bitch. Now I'd do anything to say sorry, butis ittoo late?...

You know what, forget that. Nothing's too late, NOTHING. But I'm relieved you've forgiven me.

It's been thirteen years. I was thirteen once too.

I can't turn back time. But I can turn you around.

Just give me a chance.

Breathe keep breathing

Dont loose your nerve

Breathe keep breathing

I cant do this alone.

Uchiha Sasuke

-lyrics taken from Radiohead's "exit music"-