Total Drama Mania
Episode 1: Race to the Island - Part 1
On the outer edge of Lake Wawanakwa, stood Chris McLean, smiling like he was the Cheshire Cat, "Welcome back to Total Drama, we've got another thrilling season for you! This time we'll be joined by… wait for it… not thirteen… not twenty-six…"
"But sixty of your favorite contestants!" said Don as he ran into the shot, "What're you doing, Chris? You know the network said we're co-hosting this season."
"Yeah, yeah yeah. Network. Co-hosting. Blah-blah-blah." Chris said as he rolled his eyes, "Why don't you continue then, Mr. Co-Host?"
"I'd love to!" Don said, his voice dripping with it's usual half-snarky enthusiasm, "We're here on the edge of Lake Wawanakwa, awaiting the arrival of our sixty competitors. Once they arrive, they will embark on their first challenge, which some… may not survive!"
"Woo!" Chris said, very excited.
"Not literally… nobody's dying." Don told him.
"Awe." Chris sighed
"You are a sick, sick, evil, bad person."
"Yes, yes I am." Chris said without a hint of shame before pointing at one of the just now arriving buses, "and speaking of bad people; here are our contestants."
As the contestants stepped off the buses, the hosts began their introductions.
"From the first generation…"
"Owen, the lovable goofball and winner of Total Drama Island."
"Geoff, the party bro and runner-up of The Ridonculous Race."
"Katie, Sadie's BFF."
"Sadie, Katie's BFF."
Sadie: I've always just sort of been known as sharing a brain with Katie, and I love her so so so so much, but I've never gotten a second chance at this show before, I'm gonna have to be my own woman if I want a chance to win.
"Eva, the bodybuilder bully."
"Courtney, the type-A."
Courtney: In the past I've been known to be something of a… a… well… what's the word… well a bitch, but I'm ready to change that. I really grew a lot during Total Drama All-Stars, and I'm ready to be a better person, and honestly to be a good team player.
"Leshawna, the sassy sister."
"Harold, the dork."
Harold: I've already expertly shown off my mad skills, so now might just me my time to hone the maddest skill of all: winning a million dollars… awesome.
"Gwen, the loner and the runner-up of Total Drama Island."
Gwen: I've had an up and down ride on this show, and I'm ready to put all the Duncan-Courtney drama behind me and play a no BS-game to finally win this thing.
"Duncan, the delinquent and the runner-up of Total Drama Action."
Duncan: I'm fresh out of real prison for blowing up Chris's mansion just to prove I'm a bad boy. I did a lot of thinking in the slammer, and I think it's time I grew up and learned to get in touch with my nice side.
"Heather, the queen bee and the winner of Total Drama World Tour."
Heather: In the past I've been kind of mean and, well, bitchy… no that's it, that's the whole confessional.
"Ezekiel, former feral freakshow."
Ezekiel: I had a few rough years, eh, but after I tried to kill Chris on the hundred episode special, I went to therapy and after a lot of work they restored my sanity… mostly… I still have to kick my bad habit of… eating rats.
"There's super stalker Sierra, jaw-dropping Justin, and insanely insane Izzy.'
"Varsity klutz Tyler."
"Vogue ditz Lindsay."
"Gentle giant DJ."
"Washed-up TV host Blaineley."
Blaineley: Last time around on World Tour, I didn't particularly succeed… or try… at hosting the Aftermath or competing. But now, I'm here to give it my all!
"Lover boy Trent."
"Spicy Latino shcemer: Alenjandro, runner-up of Total Drama World Tour."
Alejandro: I sort of let my gameplay slack a little bit last time I played, I got distracted by my love for mi amor: Heather. But make no mistake, this time; this guy's still going all the way to the top.
"Deadpan snarkster Noah."
Noah: I've really done it all on reality TV. I've been eliminated early, eliminated late, travled around the world, and fell in love with my darling Emma. Now all that's left to do is win… and go a full day without smelling Owen's farts.
"And the… inanimate object… Mr. Coconut."
Mr. Coconut: …
Owen: Chris owed me a favor, hehehe, Owen-ed me a favor.
"From the second generation..."
"The Jersey Shore reject Anne Maria."
"Jerkish jock Jo."
Jo: This is a PG show, but for me there are two F-words I will not accept: failure and fu-
"Quiet giant B."
B: …
"Quiet giant B."
"Farmboy schemer Scott."
Scott: I've made, uh, questionable choices in the past, sabotoging my team, fighting a mutant shark and landing in a coma, and losing the girl of my dreams… Courtney. She's why I came back, to win back her heart… and maybe the million while I'm here, hehehe.
"Junior cadet Brick."
Brick: I intend to play this game with my usual priorities: honor, duty, loyalty, and um…. I think the last one is honesty. Yeah, that sounds right.
"Nerdy bubble boy Cameron, runner-up of Total Drama Revenge of the Island."
"Monopersonality Mike, runner-up of Total Drama All-Stars."
"Nice girl Zoey, winner of Total Drama All-Stars"
Heather: Those guys made the finals? Psh, almost makes me feel bad for having won… if anyone deserved to lose the money in a volcano it was one of those dweebs. Am I still bitter? Yeah.
"Egomaniac jock Lightning, winner of Total Drama Revenge of the Island."
Lightning: I'm sha-psyhed to be back! I'm ready to work hard, play hardest, win hardester… and after that Imma celebrate hardesterest!
"And daddy's girl turned former mutant Dakota."
Dakota: After my "elimimutation" back on Revenge of the Island, I had some rough years but I had my sweet Sam to support me. But I'm better now, daddy had to spend most of his money to get me de-mutated, but now I'm all human, besides that green streak in my hair. I'm a lot more down to earth now… literally too.
"And some more, sort of, veterans."
"Acrobatic wonder Svetlana."
"Crotechy old teenager Chester."
"Spelunker Manitoba Smith."
"And slick ladies' man Vito."
Vito: Aye, so the thing is, way back when Mikey boy hit that reset button, it didn't actually erase us forever. We suddenly appeared one day as our own people. So now I'm here to show Mike and the rest of the chumps that I was alwaaays the best personality.
"And mutated sentint shark Fang."
Scott: What!?
Cameron: Fascinating! Scientific studies I'd read for fun had indicated that a mutated Carcharhinus limbatus such as Fang was capable of human-level intellect… I guess this game will put that to the test!
"From the third generation!"
"The twins: wicked Amy and wicked nice Samey!"
"Beat-boxer Beardo!"
"World-wrecking wannabe Max!"
"Zombie apocalyps prepper Shawn, winner of Total Drama: Pahkitew Island."
"Farmboy/loverboy Rodney."
"Total loser and poser, Topher, the worst contestant and just the biggest phony, couldn't host a show if-" Chris was ranting until Don cut him off.
"Be professional for once, Chris. And now for my crew, the fourth generation!"
"Hopeless romantic Carrie."
"Bodybuilder sweetheart Ryan."
Carrie: When I was on the Ridonculous Race, my love life-
Ryan: -sort of got in the way of pretty much-
Carrie: -everything. So now I'm ready to focus on having a good time and maybe actually-
Ryan: -winning.
"Doofy dad Dwayne."
"Washed up tennis star Pete."
"And his rival Gerry."
"Spoiled brat Taylor."
"Lovesick lawyer Emma."
"Emma's kid sister Kitty."
Kitty: Me and Emma grew a lot closer on the Race, but I think it's time I step out of her shadow and be my own girl.
"Creepy goth Crimson."
Crimson: Am I excited to be back competing? I can hardly contain my excitement. Woo.
"Creepier goth Ennui."
"Surfer dude Brody."
"LARPer Tammy."
Harold: That girl Tammy, with her viking cosplay, total geek cred, and curvy features… I think I'm in love. Gosh.
"Human cannonball cadet MacArthur, winner of The Ridonculous Race."
"Meathead teen Lorenzo."
"Gym rat Stephanie."
Stephanie: My chances better not get messed up by my handsome idiot boyfriend. Ryan.. I'm watching you.
"And finally, the villanious ice dancing schemers, the devious Jacques…"
Jacques: I've been shining in doubles ice skating since before I could stand, but now its time for moi to shine, solo!
"...and the nefarious Josee."
Josee: It's time I finally get what I deserve.
All the contestants had arrived, and stood on the edge of the lake. Owen, Geoff, Katie, Sadie, Eva, Courtney, Leshawna, Harold, Gwen, Duncan, Heather, Ezekiel, Sierra, Justin, Izzy, Tyler, Lindsay, DJ, Blaineley, Trent, Alejandro, Noah, Mr. Coconut (in Owen's arms), Anne Maria, Jo, B, Scott, Brick, Cameron, Mike, Zoey, Lightning, Dakota, Svetlana, Chester, Manitoba, Vito, Fang, Amy, Samey, Beardo, Max, Shawn, Topher, Carrie, Dwayne, Pete, Gerry, Taylor, Emma, Kitty, Crimson, Ennui, Tammy, Brody, MacArthur, Lorenzo, Stephanie, Jacques, and Josee stood in anticipation.
"Gee, Chris. Who didn't you invite?" snarked Noah, with his usual sarcasm.
"You," Chris rolled his eyes, "that was Don's idea."
Don smiled with a twinkle in his pearly whites.
"Anyway, welcome to Total Drama Mania, our biggest season yet… for now."
"So um, how are all gonna fit in the cabins?" Lindsay asked.
"Good question." Tyler said, and Brody agreed. "No, great question." he said.
"Shushhhh. There will not be the sixty of you for long."
"What y'all talkin' 'bout, Chris?" said Leshawna.
"Let me explain the first challenge-"
"Your first challenge!" Don interrupted, as Chris glared at him. Don continued, "we're here on the edge of Lake Wawanakwa. As you can see, there are several modes of transportation on the shore there."
On the beach b the lake stood numerous modes of transport, both aquatic; rowboats, steamboats speedboats, canoes, surfboards, the Boat of Losers, and non-aquatic; a repaired Total Drama Jumbo Jet, some gliders, a hot-air balloon, and the Cannon of Shame.
Chris picked up the challenge explanation, "here's the challenge, you'll all race to reach Camp Wawanakwa. The first thirty to reach will be safe. If you fall in the water, you're out. If you're in the bottom half to reach the island. You're out."
"Out of a challenge, ooooh, I'm so scared." Duncan mocked Chris, Scott laughed.
"Losing is not a joke!" Josee said sternly.
"Oui!" Jacques agreed.
"Ya'll are sha-right!"
"Duncan," Don began, "in this challenge, when you're out, you're not out of the challenge… you're out of the game! Eliminated!"
The contestants gasped.
Lightning: Sha-what!?
Ryan: Losing is not an option.
Gwen: This could get ugly.
To be continued...