(AN: Time to work on the first four chapters again! I just wanted them to match in terms of consistency with other chapters. Enjoy!)
"Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa!"
A host wearing a blue cargo shirt, a white long-sleeved shirt underneath, brown cargo pants, and a rather unhealthy amount of hair gel, popped up from below the camera.
"I'm your host, Chris McLean." He started walking as he showed off the campsite.
"This beautiful campground..." he paused impressively, just as a six-pack lid floated in from the sea, attached to an oil-slicked seagull, "is located somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. At least, that's what I heard from our producers."
As he spoke, he headed across to the side of the dock where a sign read CAMP WAWANAKWA.
"But enough chit-chat, we're here to drop Season 1 of the hottest new reality television show, Total. Drama. Island!"
Chris grinned at his announcement, he knew he was going to love what was ensuing.
"Very shortly, 22 teenagers will be arriving to this awesome campground where they'll be competing in challenges, then facing the judgment of their fellow campers. Every 3 days, someone will be booted off, letting the rest get another chance to compete for this grand prize!"
As he said this, a tall, dark, muscular man walked down the dockside, carrying a metallic briefcase. "Chef Hatchet, if you'd please?" asked Chris.
Chef obliged, opening up the case. Inside was a monstrous load of bills, although some fluttered away in the breeze. "You see, these contestants will be competing for ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS!
"Stay tuned for our hottest new reality show: Total…Drama…Island!" Chris announced, as the cameras cut to black.
*cue the theme song*
Episode 1: Not So Happy Campers-Part 1
"We're back with Total Drama Island!" Chris said, all smiles. "Now, get ready to meet our batch of weird and wacky contestants!"
As Chef Hatchet closed the million dollar case, Chris heard a loud HONK coming from the distance. He peered over and looked. In the distance, he saw a boat with a contestant on it.
"Alright, here comes our first contestant now!" he grinned as he patted his hair down. As the boat reached the dock, he could see a camper wearing a pink shirt, unbuttoned, that showed his chest, mid-length shorts, and a gray cowboy hat.
"Geoff, nice of you to arrive!" he smirked as the camper came down the dock.
"Wooo! Chris McLean! Great to be here! But...where's all the sweet stuff promised in the brochure?"
Chris chuckled at the camper's look of dismay. "Oh, Geoff! Just wait until you see the sheer AWESOMENESS of this summer camp!"
He then turned and winked to the camera, "you see, the campers received a brochure in the mail sweet-talking this place up to be a swanky 5-star resort. If they're P.O'ed, that's probably why."
Another horn honk was heard from the horizon. Chris and Geoff looked and were able to see a tall man standing on the next boat. As the boat reached its destination, the man stepped off.
"DJ! My man!" Chris cried as he stepped off.
"Yo, Chris, great to be here, but...where's all the sweet stuff promised in the brochure?" D.J inquired as he joined Geoff on the dockside.
"At ease, DJ! Look! Another..." Chris's voice was cut off by a loud yell and a slender figure somersaulting off the boat. She landed with a loud THUD on the dock.
"Everyone, this is Izzy!" Chris said as she made her way to the other two contestants. "Yeah, Izzy, aka Escope, Explosivo or Brainzilla!"
Izzy chortled as she joined Geoff and DJ by the other end of the dock.
DJ looked at Geoff and blinked uneasily. "Sometimes, I wonder how crazy the world can be."
Geoff chuckled and murmured, "yeah, I agree. But hey, we gotta take it slow and easy man, deal with the cards we're given!"
Chris ignored the teens conversation and went to introduce the next contestant.
He was greeted with the coldest look that shades could offer.
"Everyone, this is Heather!" Chris said, shivering slightly.
Heather took her shades off and glared at the other three contestants. "Look, keep out of my way and I'll possibly consider letting you into the finals with me. I'm not here to make friends, okay? So shut up and give me plenty of room."
Izzy cackled at this. "Plenty of room, alright!" she cheered as she bumped Heather straight off the dock. "See? Plenty! Least for the rest of us."
She was greeted by a hand reaching up and grabbing her head, banging it into the dock as the drama queen thrust her way back up. "Next time, don't do that again, or I'll personally..."
She was interrupted by a horn honk as the 5th camper made his way down the ship. He looked rather dweeby, wearing a blue shirt with a hamburger on it, overlarge glasses and was carrying a red ant farm.
"Everyone, this is Harold!" Chris said as the nerd stood next to the other five, although Heather was warily eyeing his farm. "You do know I'm allergic to red ants, right? Keep that crap away from me!" she told him in a repulsed tone.
"Well, Heather, if you so insist, I'll keep my fire ants away from your luscious self. Gosh!"
Heather responded to this statement by slapping his ant farm into the water, while Harold solemnly watched it sink.
"That was uncalled for", he snapped to her.
"Well, you're uncalled for around here, dweeby! With your arrival, I've basically clinched the competition on my own!"
Chris interrupted the ensuing war going on by clearing his throat and saying, "everyone, this is Lindsay."
The guys took one look and swooned. Izzy purred ("aye, mamacita!"), while Heather glared. Standing in front of them was the most buxom contestant seen so far, also with long hair and a rather short skirt.
"Hello, Craig!" Lindsay smiled as she blew a kiss to him. "Hello, everyone else!" Heather glared at the new face. "Oh! Someone doesn't like me? I've never met anyone like that...um...what's your name?"
Heather muttered something along the lines of "don...ment...name to...dummies...", while Lindsay just blinked at her.
"O...kay? Now I'm confused..." she said as she stood by everyone else. Chris chuckled at Lindsay and looked for the next boat to arrive.
He didn't have to look long, as he heard another HONK and the next camper came off of it. "Gwen has just arrived on the island, everyone." Chris said as the gothic teen with blue/black hair walked towards him.
"Okay, Chris, I did not sign up for this crappy summer camp." Gwen grumbled as she turned the other way.
"As a matter of fact, Gwen, you did!" Chris chuckled, showing Gwen a stack of papers. "In your contract, 'member? Read the fine print, I always say!"
Gwen growled. "Whatever, I'm sick of this place, I'm leaving!" Chris gave her a look as she walked towards the dock.
"I hope you can swim, like, really far. Your ride just left!" Gwen grumbled and stood next to the soaked Heather.
"What are you looking at?" Heather growled. Gwen slowly backed away.
Izzy took a look at Heather, then comforted Gwen, "si, si, compadre, Heather's a muy crazy chica. She won't take mi amor, Lindsay, though! Oh, no no no, she won't!"
Gwen backed away further...and fell into the water. Great, she thought, now the crazy train's left the station...and I'm on it.
As Gwen got back onto the dock, dripping wet, the next camper had already arrived.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Eva" said Chris as an athletic female came off the boat, carrying a heavy duffel bag.
"Okay, Chris, I'm here to kick butt and take names. Seems I have a lot of butts to kick and names to take." she scowled as she made her way across the dock.
Izzy cackled at this statement, "Explosivo won't have any of your nonsense, Muscle Woman!"
Eva glared at Izzy, silencing her, although Gwen could hear mutters of something along the lines of Explosivo, tacos, and "boom-boom".
Chris introduced the next contestant in the meantime. "Everyone, our ninth contestant, Trent!" The new face's eyes widened.
"Oh crap, did he say ninth? As in, the number nine? I-I-II-I..."
Heather came over and slapped him. "Chill, drama queen! You're here to compete! Not angst about this number nine problem."
Harold gave him a more comforting welcome. "It's okay, Trent, we all have our strange perks. Heck, some of those perks can lead to some mojo mad skills!"
He finished his statement triumphantly as he pulled out something that looked like yo-yos.
"Uh..." Trent was about to comment on the absurdity of this situation, but Harold beat him to the punch.
"One of my many mad skills which include beatboxing, bass fishing, basket weaving, and card tricks, is using my num-yos with expert precision and flair!"
He started twirling them, only to hear a loud THWACK! behind him.
"And would his geekiness care to explain the ant farm I saw on the way here?" a voice said behind him. Harold looked back and gasped. A green-mohawked, overly-pierced, tall punk was behind him, grabbing his num-yos.
"Name's Duncan, and you didn't answer my question," he said, throwing Harold's num-yos back at him, hitting his kiwis.
"AUUUGH! My num-yos!" squeaked Harold before going down for the count.
Chris sighed at the chaos behind him and peered out again, looking for any sign of sanity. Another horn honking snapped him out of his reverie.
"Everyone, Courtney, Courtney, everyone!" he smiled.
"Why, thank you, Chris, would you be so kind as to help me off?" the young woman asked politely.
Chris obliged, and Duncan snickered as she came off the ramp.
"Would Princess like a massage, a special room, a 5-star dinner?" he said as Courtney came towards him.
She smiled coldly at him. "What Princess would want is a shot at the million, like everyone else here. Now shut it, or I'll shut you up forcefully!"
Duncan whistled sarcastically as Courtney stood beside Gwen and Eva.
Chris gave Duncan a look. "Dude, if you get all punchy-stabby, I am in contact with your parole officer, who can kick you off the show at any time, so watch it," he said sternly.
"Now, Noah's the next contestant to arrive!" The brown-skinned brunet came off the dock as well.
"Gee whiz, Mr. Host Dude, this is such a great place to stay."
Lindsay perked up at this. "I know, right!?" Noah gave her a look, then continued on his way. "Hey, Piercey, this the place?"
Duncan grabbed Noah's lower lip. "No, this is your mom's house, and we're throwing a major party."
Noah smirked, at least as best he could with the limitation imposed on him, "Fascinating, can I have my lip back, please?"
Duncan noticed Chris giving him another look and obliged. "Chris, Noah and I were having a little fun, come on! Chill!"
Chris gave Duncan one last look before hearing yet another honk on the horn in the distance.
"Everyone, Bridgette is here!" A surfer chick with a baby blue sweatshirt, bright blonde hair and a slender figure stepped off the boat, carrying a surfboard.
"Hey, Chris, hey everyone! Wow...I heard the beach was way better than this..." She sighed sadly as she placed her board down. "Hopefully there will be some good...surfing..."
Geoff came up alongside her and patted her back. "Hey, don't worry, Bridge, surfing or no surfing, we'll all have a good time together."
Noah piped up, "Yeah, if the killer animals don't get us first."
At this news, Bridgette tensed. "K-killer animals? Oh, no, I'm out, I'm so out!" She started running for the boat, tripped, and landed face first on the damp wood. "Oh, crap, I'm stuck here!" she moaned as she watched her only ticket back to civilization leave.
"Do'on't worry, ma'am, I'm here to help keep ya safe, eh?" said a rather heavy Canadian accented voice. A hand reached down to help her up, and she took it.
"Everyone, this is Ezekiel. He's lived a rather sheltered life, being homeschooledbyfreakyprairiepeople" Chris said, muttering the last part. "Only thing I gotta say, Zeke, is keep quiet, don't try to get yourself voted off too early, and I think you'll be okay".
Ezekiel took a spot by Gwen, who gave him a quizzical look. Something about him seemed...familiar. Was this like looking at herself?
"Ladies and germs, Katie and Sadie!" said Chris as two teens wearing matching outfits, mainly pink, got off the next boat.
"Ohmygosh, Sadie, look! A summer camp!" said the thin, tan one.
"Eee! I've always wanted to go to summer camp!" said the larger, less tanned one.
"Oh, Sadie, I hope we make the finals together!" squealed Katie.
"EEEEEEEEEEE!" went the both of them.
Noah groaned. "And would the Two Squealy Sisters care to not burst my eardrums, thank you very much?" he said, rubbing his ears.
Chris took out his earplugs that he used in situations like that. "Everyone, may I introduce Owen! My man!"
A portly blond wearing a white shirt with a blue maple leaf hopped off the boat, shaking the dock slightly. "Aw YEAH! Chris, it's so great to be here, Woo-HOO!" he shouted, shaking Chris's hand vigorously.
"Whoa, I'm digging the enthusiasm, big O! You'll go far in this competition, I'm sure!"
Owen then turned to the other competitors. "How's it goin'? I'm Owen!" He was greeted from scornful looks, to squees (from Katie and Sadie), to a smirk (from Noah). He walked over to the brunet and shook his hand vigorously, too. "Hey, little guy, what's your name?"
Noah cocked an eyebrow. "Well, Chubby Buddy, name's Noah, and I really do think that you're in the running for loudness, next to Tweedledum and Tweedleidiot here (he motioned to Katie and Sadie, who were thankfully oblivious to his remark)."
Owen gasped. "Oh YEAH! I made a new friend! Mom always said I had trouble making friends, I didn't know it could be so...EASY!"
Chris chuckled at Noah's and Owen's antics. "Everyone, Cody! The Codester! The Code-meister!" he said as the geeky brown-haired teen came off of the boat.
"Aw, hey Chris! I see the ladies have already arrived! Woo-hoo! This season's gonna rock!" cheered Cody as he stood next to Gwen.
"Hey, beautiful," he smirked at her, revealing the gap in his teeth.
Gwen gave him a look, "yeah, hey."
Chris gave Cody a look, similar to how he did Duncan, then introduced the next contestant. "Everyone, Justin!"
The competitors looked at what was probably the most beautiful man in the world. He smiled and winked as he got off the boat and high-fived Chris.
"Hey, Justin, I'm Owen, and I'm so happy to meet you!" Owen said as the hunk passed by. Justin responded by snapping his fingers and pointing at Owen, making him swoon.
Chris ignored Justin's sexy looks by introducing the next competitor. "Leshawna's in the house, everybody!" he said as a large, but attractive, African-Canadian stepped off of the boat.
"Hey, y'all! Leshawna's in the house! I'm going big, so you fools better go big or go home!" she said. Harold walked up to her. "Whoa. You're loud. And big. Can I say bl-"
He was cut off by Leshawna getting up in his face. "Oh, NO! You just did not say what I think you said, because if you did, I will be gettin' all up in yo' business, mm-hmm."
Another HONK punctuated the air as the twenty-first competitor got closer to the dock. He looked strange, almost like he didn't belong. He was wearing big glasses with clear lenses, gray shorts and a black shirt with yellow, red, blue and pink pony silhouettes on it.
"Everyone, this is Ben. Ben, this is everyone." said Chris. Ben got off the dock and was greeted with some of the strangest stares he had ever seen.
"Yeah, there was this farm girl named Beth who was supposed to come, but he was a last-minute entry. Seemed much more interesting for audiences. More to exploit." said Chris, who was scanning the horizon for any more boats.
"Yeah, um, hi." said Ben, giving everyone a quizzical look. "...what? I happen to like ponies, thank you very much."
He was greeted with a high-five from Harold. "Nice shirt, Ben, I'm really wondering what it's all about, though" he said.
However, the air was cut with a loud, derisive laugh. "Oh hohoho! Look at this! Dork and Dorkier! Man, I dunno which is more lame!" choked Duncan through his tears.
Chris cleared his throat to interrupt the laughter. "Ah -HEM! Everyone, I think we're all present and accounted for, so if you'll follow me..."
"OUT OF MY WAY! EXTREME SPORTS FAN COMING THROUGH!" There was one more competitor coming out on waterskis behind his boat.
"Everyone, Ty-" Chris was interrupted by the jock tripping on his waterskis and hitting face-first into the side of the dock. "Daah!" he cried, as he slowly sank.
"Ohmygosh! Hottie in peril!" screamed Lindsay, who picked up the final competitor and pulled him onto the dock.
"Anyways, everyone, this is Tyler," said Chris, "our final competitor showing up today!"
Everyone there weakly cheered. "Finally! We've been here for the better part of an hour!" groaned Heather, who received nods of assent from DJ, Geoff and Gwen.
Chris groaned. "Fine, I'll skip the photo-op! On to the campsite!" he beckoned to the other contestants, who followed him up to the camp bonfire.
"Everyone, welcome to the bonfire, where every 3 days, someone here will be eliminated from the losing team. The winning team, well, they'll win some sweet rewards and invincibility, meaning no one from that team will be voted off.
"Firstly, before I go over the rest of the campsite and the challenges ahead, we'll be splitting the 22 of you into teams of eleven."
He then pulled out two round cloth blankets, furled.
"So, Owen, Gwen, Cody, Justin, Ezekiel, Katie, Heather, Lindsay, Leshawna, Noah, and Trent, you guys will make...The Screaming Gophers!"
He threw one of the cloths at Owen, who unfurled it to show a green, toothed gopher glaring at them.
"Awesome!" said Owen, "I'm a Gopher!"
Chris smiled at Owen before showing the rest of the competitors their cloth.
"DJ, Bridgette, Duncan, Eva, Ben, Courtney, Harold, Tyler, Geoff, Sadie, and Izzy, you are...the Killer Bass!" he smiled brightly as the cloth showed an angry bass with fists ready to pummel out all competition.
"Wow," said Harold. "We get a fish and they get an awesome mammal? Lame!"
Duncan scoffed, "Look, as long as we get some decent victories in, we're golden, alright? Shut it, nerdling."
Chris looked in the distance and saw some smoke coming from the mess hall.
"Alright, before we head over to that smoky area, I'll show you the cabins, where we'll discuss sleeping arrangements!" he said happily.
The two teams trooped down to two shabby log cabins, giving them looks of awe or disgust.
"Campers, this is where you'll be sleeping", said Chris. "Cabins are divided by teams. Guys sleep on one side of the cabin, girls sleep on the other."
Duncan chuckled at the news. "Aw gee, Chris, I wanted to request a bunk under her," he said, motioning to Heather.
"Ugh, drop dead, you slimeball! When I win the million, you'll all be sorry," she grimaced.
In the meantime, the other competitors had started to call dibs on bunks and find bunkmates. Ben was setting up on a top bunk with Harold chatting to him from below. Geoff and DJ had already decided to be bunkmates, as did Bridgette and Courtney.
All of a sudden, they heard a shriek from the other cabin. Some ran over to see that Lindsay was cowering on her bunk from a rather nasty looking cockroach. "Someone, get it away from me!" she cried out in horror.
A silhouette appeared at the doorframe. "Never fear, Tyler's here!" yelled Tyler, while jumping overdramatically into the room, straight on top of the cockroach.
Everyone casually stepped back as he belly flopped right on top of the hardwood floor, knocking the wind out of him.
Noah tsked and patted his shoulder. "Hey, least the cockroach is dead, right?" Tyler weakly nodded and collapsed from the pain.
Chris clapped to interrupt the contestants bonding time. "Everyone, time to go to the mess hall! Chef has cooked up a delicious lunch!"
The teams headed down to the mess hall, all the while noticing a horrid stench coming from it, stronger and stronger.
They entered the mess hall and took their seats, Bass on the right-side table, Gophers on the left.
They then heard a loud shout coming from the kitchen, "ATTENTION, dorks! I'm Chef Hatchet, and welcome to lunch. You'll eat when I tell you to eat, you'll eat whatever delicacy I've made... (he motioned to some unidentified glop with wriggling things on top), and most of all, you'll finish whatever delicacy I've made! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"
Duncan scoffed. "Crystal," he said, chuckling.
The teams lined up in front of Chef and took their gruel. Ben took a look at his glop and sighed.
"This is going to be a long season, isn't it?" A voice entered his ear, loudly.
"Yup, eight weeks' worth of pain, torture, and most of all, ratings!" Chris said excitedly. "If you ever have a need to vent, there's a confession cam right there in that outhouse."
Gwen: Okay, so far, this place sucks. Crappy food, people I don't even want to be around...this million bucks better be worth it.
Owen: Hello, everyone, I have something very important to say. *he farts* Hahahahahahaha!
Ben: Well, I guess that this season's starting up. Hopefully I can make an impression on someone here, that's a start, right? Right?
Courtney: Well, everyone, this is my first confessional of the season. I can't wait to take the competition out and show them what I can do! Team Courtney 'til the end! *ahem* I'm sorry, did I go drunk with power again? Mom did say that was a problem...
Chris clapped once more as their lunch ended. "Everyone, your challenge starts in one hour! Get your swim trunks on, you'll need them!" he said, leaving to observe the challenge.
Lindsay got up and started to head back to the cabin, but a firm hand held her in place.
"Lindsay, I've developed a strategy! You, me and Katie, we'll form an alliance, we'll get into the final three, easily! What do you say, pal?" said Heather, putting on her best grin.
Lindsay thought about this, and then nodded, "okay!"
Heather: What Lindsiot doesn't know is that I'm definitely ditching her and the other idiot as late into the game as I can, so that I can win the million and keep it all to myself! Hello? It's called strategy? Maybe you should try it sometime.
Lindsay: Aw, Helga is sooooooo nice! An alliance with her and Keesha? I love the idea!
Katie: An alliance with Heather and Lindsay? Well...okay...but...I really miss Sadie!
Sadie: I feel so alone and outcast on this team! Oh, Katie, where are you? I miss you!
Izzy: *as Killer Bass icon floats next to her* Ooh, a fish! Ooh, look, wood! Well, okay, um, this team seems fun! I kinda wish I was on the other one, though, so that I can keep an eye on that Heather. Explosivo definitely thinks she's a muy caliente opponent! Might try to give her some karmic retribution for her soon-to-be evil ways! See, you need to think carefully about this game! It's called strategy!
As Chris left, Sadie turned to DJ with a concerned look on her face. "DJ, I'm scared. What if we get seriously injured or die doing this?"
DJ laughed and gave her a comforting pat. "Sadie, it's our first challenge, how hard it can be?"
Well, one hour later, both teams were on top of the 100 foot cliff, looking down in abject fear and terror. The air was silent, tense, but then-
"Oh. Sh*BLEEP*"
(AN: So that's the first chapter/episode. What did you think of the whole thing so far? I really hope I did alright, I've had this idea in my head for a while, and I decided to act upon it. Firstly, YES, I KNOW. I'm replacing Beth in this story with a version of myself. I've always wondered how I would fare in a competition like Total Drama. I am definitely also aware that I need to be careful when writing a stand-in character like this. Hopefully, I can pull through and make this a decent story.)
Screaming Gophers: Cody, Ezekiel, Gwen, Heather, Justin, Katie, Leshawna, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, Trent
Killer Bass: Ben, Bridgette, Courtney, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Geoff, Harold, Izzy, Sadie, Tyler
I will be introducing contestant elimination rankings after the first elimination. Look forward to it! I also will be updating the teams with their proper member counts, after eliminations, team switchings, etc.
Next up: Not So Happy Campers-Part 2