TITLE: Shadow and Sunrise
AUTHOR: SueB
EMAIL:
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: The characters in this story are the property of the estate of JRR Tolkien.
SUMMARY: Four-and-a-half year old Faramir is curious about Mordor, but none of the adults around him think he is old enough yet to learn about it. Then the nightmares start, and Boromir decides it's time for him to tell Faramir what he can.
Many thanks to my sister Sarah who was my beta and gave me lots of helpful suggestions!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is an expansion of an incident from Faramir's youth that I referred to in my earlier story, 'Contemplations.' It's written from the point of view of little Faramir, so I tried to use the vocabulary someone his age might have. Therefore, it's a little limited, and there may be quite a bit of repetition in the words I used, for which I apologize!
I looked around and couldn't find much information on just how much Gondor knew about Mordor and Sauron at this point in its history. If I've made any huge mistakes, please feel free to let me know so I can make this story as accurate as possible. Thanks!
This story will be permanently archived at www.sen-o-gwend.us
Enjoy!
Sue :)
SHADOW AND SUNRISE
Faramir couldn't understand why nobody would tell him the truth.
After all, it wasn't as if he were still little. He was four years old now, almost four and a half! He wasn't a baby any more, but they still treated him like one.
And it was such a simple question, surely they knew the answer. But as soon as he started asking it, all of the grown-ups acted like they didn't know what he was talking about.
But they did.
He knew they did.
Faramir couldn't remember exactly when he first noticed how dark the sky was over the river and across the big mountains. Probably he'd seen it all his life, but now that he was getting bigger and smarter, he saw that somehow it wasn't right.
After all, when he went to Uncle Imrahil's home by the sea with his Mother and father and brother Boromir, the sky there wasn't dark anywhere. It was big and blue, just like the ocean right outside Uncle's door. When they saw the sun rise there, Faramir had been amazed. He'd never seen the sun do that at home, because where the sun came up was always covered with those big ugly black clouds.
Then they came home to Minas Tirith, and Faramir looked some more at the big black clouds with the big red spot in them that looked like fire. Most clouds he'd seen floated off after a while, but these never moved, and they covered everything in a big dark shadow that didn't ever go away.
He didn't like the black cloud; he wanted the sky over his home to be wide and blue, just like at Uncle's. Mother had been happy there, a lot happier than at home. Faramir saw this, and thought maybe if they could just make the sky blue for her at home, she'd be happy there too, and not sad and sick all the time. She had been sick for months, too sick to eat with them, or read books to him and his brother, or any of the things they all used to do together, and he didn't know why. He only knew he missed her very much, and wanted her to be with them again.
So the day after they got home, he decided he'd ask Father what was in the land over the mountains, and where the cloud came from. Even though Father seemed sad so much lately, Faramir still felt he could ask. Maybe it would take father's mind off whaever was making him unhappy.
So, that night at dinner, he asked. It had been a boring dinner anyway, both Father and his big brother Boromir seemed awfully quiet. Mother wasn't with them.
Faramir cleared his throat. "Father?"
His father looked at him, sort of as if he were surprised to hear anyone speak. 'At least he doesn't look mad,' Faramir thought.
"Yes, Faramir?" his father said. He sounded tired.
Faramir took a breath. "What's that big black cloud over the mountains? The one that doesn't move?"
Father seemed even more surprised. Boromir did, too, and maybe a little scared, but Faramir didn't know why.
After what seemed like forever, Father simply looked at him and said, "It is from Mordor." He sounded even more tired than before.
This didn't really answer the question. Faramir frowned at the strange name. "What's Mordor?"
This time Father didn't even look at him. "It is the land across the mountains," he said, and Faramir heard his father's voice start to sound mad. "You need not know of it now."
Faramir hated it when people said things like this to him. He wasn't a child anymore! He was old enough and smart enough to understand things now, and he needed to know why their sky couldn't be blue, why Mother couldn't smile here like she did at Uncle's. Maybe there was something he could do to fix it.
"But, Father, what makes it glow red-"
"Faramir!" Father's voice was not loud, but it was very sharp, and now he was looking at Faramir most crossly. "Mind what I say. This is not yet a matter for you to be worried about. Be still and eat your dinner before it grows cold on your plate."
Faramir knew that voice; Father used it more and more, and it meant Faramir wasn't to make another peep. A little scared, Faramir fell silent and obeyed, eating his chicken - which really was getting cold - and still thinking about that cloud, and the place it came from, Mordor. Why didn't Father want to talk about it?
He heard a slight cough, and saw his older brother Boromir looking at their father.
"He's only curious, Father," Boromir said. "You know how smart Mithrandir says he is-"
But Father seemed just as mad as before. "Do not encourage him, Boromir," he said in a very stern voice. "And do not speak that name at this table. I hear enough of Mordor by day, I have no wish to discuss it at night, particularly with one far too young to comprehend it. He will learn of that land soon enough. Now eat."
Boromir sighed, and he and Faramir ate the rest of the dinner in silence. Faramir waited a few moments before picking his fork up again, wishing he could thank Boromir for trying to help. Boromir was just about the best big brother he could have asked for, and even if it didn't work, it made Faramir feel very good that his brother at least tried. Boromir was always there to help him, and it made Faramir very happy to think that Boromir loved him as much as he loved Boromir.
As he started to eat again, Boromir looked at Faramir, smiled just a little, and winked, after making sure their father wasn't looking. Faramir smiled back, knowing that his brother was just making sure Faramir was all right. He was sad that father seemed so angry, and he was still very curious about that dark land, but he knew better than to say anything else about it tonight.
He also decided not to ask his brother about it, even though Boromir was much, much older than he was - almost ten - and Faramir was sure he knew all about Mordor. If Father found out, he might get mad at his brother, and Faramir didn't want to get Boromir into trouble.
'Maybe I could ask Mother,' he thought as he ate.
After dinner, as always, Boromir took Faramir's hand and they followed Father to the master bedchamber to see Mother. The sun had just gone down outside, and the sky was turning from blue to purple as they climbed the long stone stairs.
Faramir held his brother's hand tight as they walked. He wanted very much to see Mother, but he didn't like how sad it made him feel. He thought maybe after they came back home, she'd be all right. She seemed so happy by the sea with their Uncle. But now it seemed like she wouldn't ever be well or happy again.
They came to the large door, and Father went in first, like always. As they waited, Boromir looked at Faramir and squeezed his hand. That always made Faramir feel more brave, and when Faramir looked up and saw how unhappy Boromir looked, he squeezed his hand back, hoping it might do as much for his brother as it did for him.
It did seem to help; Boromir smiled a little at him, and that made Faramir feel better, knowing that he had helped his brother.
But he couldn't smile.
Finally, the door opened, and their father brought them in.
The room was dim, lit only by a few candles and the glow of the twilight outside. A soft purplish light hung over everything, and as they walked to the bed Faramir thought it looked very quiet and beautiful.
Their Mother lay back in the large bed, propped up on lots of pillows, her skin very white, her long hair flowing over her shoulders. She smiled at them as they walked over, and Faramir thought she looked better tonight, bathed in that gentle light. She looked very peaceful, and now Faramir smiled a little. Maybe she was going to get well after all.
"Hello, my darlings," she said, and her voice was so quiet Faramir hardly heard her. She held her arms out, and since the bed was so high, Boromir bent down and lifted Faramir up so he could hug her first.
It wasn't a very tight hug, Faramir noticed as he put his little arms around her and buried his face in her neck, but it was as kind and gentle as it had always been, and he could still feel the love in it. Her hair smelled of flowers and soap, and her white nightdress felt very soft. He hugged her back so hard he had to squeeze his eyes shut, hoping she could feel his love, too, and how very much he missed her.
"Oh, Faramir, you're growing so fast!" Mother said to him, and Faramir could tell she was crying. She always cried when they came, and he didn't know why. He thought she'd be happy to see them. "You'll be as big as your brother soon."
She let him go and sat him beside her by the edge of the bed, with Boromir standing right by in case he slipped off. Faramir settled down and looked at her, seeing how big her blue eyes had gotten, and got suddenly scared. Why was she getting skinnier?
"Are you feeling better, Mama?" he asked, putting his hand on hers. It felt cold.
But she laughed a little and said, "I am now," in that same whispery voice that was not nearly as strong as it used to be. She smiled at him and stroked his cheek and smoothed his long red-gold curls. "Did you have a good day today?"
Now he could ask her if she knew about Mordor! But something stopped the words in his throat, and he just nodded and talked a little about playing in the nursery and drawing pictures with Boromir. Asking that question made people sad and angry, and he didn't want his mother to ever be sad again. He'd find out some other way, any other way.
When Faramir was finished talking, she smiled and kissed him, then turned to Boromir and hugged and kissed him while Faramir sat at the end of the bed and watched. Outside, the sky was turning dark purple and pink, a few stars appearing in the sky. Faramir watched them while his mother talked to Boromir; he liked looking at the stars because of how calm they made him feel. He wondered if the dark cloud was still glowing red, but there was no way to tell, because Mother's room did not face the east.
Then it was time to say goodbye, because Mother was growing tired. There was a last kiss and hug good-night, and Boromir lifted Faramir off the bed, set him on the floor and took his hand as they walked out. Faramir sniffed and wiped his nose, hating how sad he felt at the end of their visits with Mother and feeling like such a baby for crying. But Boromir looked like he was about to cry, too, he saw, and their father looked even sadder than before.
Confused and afraid, Faramir held his brother's hand very tightly as they walked back down the stairs, and noticed that Boromir was holding his hand tightly, too. He couldn't think of anything to say, but that seemed all right.
In the days that followed, Faramir tried everything he could think of to learn about the dark land, and the cloud, and if that was why Mother was so sick. But all anyone would tell him was that the land over the mountains was Mordor - which he knew already - and that he was too young to know any more. He'd asked his nurse, a few of the guards, the serving girl he visited in the kitchen who always gave him a cookie, and they had all said the same.
And they'd looked scared.
Not knowing why they looked scared was even worse than knowing, Faramir decided. Whatever it was, it couldn't be as bad as guessing.
That night, he'd laid awake for hours thinking what it could be. Maybe there were giant dragons there. But he'd never seen a dragon, and was pretty sure they were all gone anyway. If the country was full of them, surely he would have seen one by now!
Maybe it was nothing but a big land of fire. Faramir didn't like fire very much. He'd seen a servant get burned once at the hearth in the great hall, and it seemed awful. But if the whole land was on fire, how could anyone live there? And why would everyone be so scared of it? Fire couldn't cross mountains. And with all those clouds, it had to rain there sometime, and the fire would go out.
He tried to think of every horrible monster he'd heard of, in the stories Mother told him before she got sick, but nothing seemed so bad that even brave men like Father was afraid of them. And those were only stories, anyway, most of them.
If only Mithrandir were here, he thought, then he could just ask him. Faramir loved Mithrandir, the funny old man with the long beard and gray robes. He'd only met him a few times, but he seemed very kind and smart. He'd know what Mordor was. But Mithrandir wasn't there, and Faramir didn't know when he'd be back.
He thought of all those old scrolls Mithrandir had shown him when they visited the library together. All the books and papers they had there! The answer was in them, he was sure of it. But he couldn't read very well yet, and he couldn't go to the library by himself. And asking Father for permission seemed like a bad idea. He might get mad again.
So at night he lay in his bed in the nursery, and thought about it.
Over and over in his mind, he tried to think of the worst possible thing that could be living in that land across the mountains. No ogre or monster or dragon seemed bad enough.
Soon he found he couldn't sleep very well.
Then the nightmares started.
At first, they were just shadows and bad feelings, and he'd wake up whimpering and holding his blankets tight in fear. He and Boromir still shared the nursery, and Faramir was scared he'd wake his brother up. He didn't want Boromir to know he was afraid of dreams, so he just waited for the shaking to stop and try to fall back asleep as quick and quiet as he could.
But the days went by, and Faramir stared at the black cloud every chance he got, trying to see. Everyone looked at it, he noticed, and it seemed they were all afraid of it, even the soldiers who weren't afraid of anything. Faramir thought it was pretty strange that of everybody he asked, it was the soldiers who seemed most scared to tell him what was in Mordor.
They knew best, he thought, so why were they the most scared?
Every night the dreams got worse; monsters so horrible he couldn't even remember them later poured over the mountains and came for him. He woke up gasping for air and shaking so bad he thought he'd fall out of his small bed, certain he'd been killed and eaten. All day he was followed by an awful feeling of horror. He couldn't remember the nightmare, it was so bad, but the scared feeling never went away.
Then one night, he had a very clear dream. The lands over the mountains were full of bright burning water, only it was thicker, like the melted metal he's seen them work with at the blacksmith shop. It rose right to the tops of the peaks and spilled over, turning the mountains into melted rock, pouring over the fields and burning everything to cinders. He felt hot watching it, hotter than he'd ever been before, like his skin was burning right off. The air was full of smoke and the awful bright yellow-red glow of the hot thick sea of melted rock. It rolled across the big river, over the fields, and straight to the city, and Faramir couldn't run anywhere or keep from watching. A great wave of melted fire rose up, crashed over the wall, right toward him.
Then he saw his mother running in front of the fire; it swallowed her up, and Faramir screamed. He saw Boromir run to it, to try and save her; he disappeared into it too, and this time Faramir couldn't even cry out, he was so scared. His father followed his brother, and then Faramir screamed again, a terrible lonely feeling coming over him, the worst he'd ever had. Then the great wall of burning melted rock was on him, and with a horrible, painful roar it came down on his head and ate him whole.
All Faramir could feel was terrible pain, fear and heartbreak so sharp he could never describe it. The moment seemed to go on forever, hurting more every second. Surrounded by the heavy, glowing, searing heat, he screamed and screamed, even though there was no one left to care and the screaming didn't help. But there was nothing else he could do; it seemed to be crushing him, pressing in more and more on all sides, he couldn't breathe and it hurt so bad.
Then the heat started to go away, its bright terrible glow fading into soft blue darkness, and the hot burning rock that was crushing him to death became cooler and much more gentle, and turned into his brother's arms.
"Faramir! Faramir, are you all right? Wake up!"
As he woke up, he heard Boromir calling him, and his eyes opened wide. He was in the nursery, which was now dark except for the bright summer moonlight and starlight shining in through the big open windows. Everything was quiet, and not eaten by fire, and he was in his own bed.
Shaking, surprised, Faramir looked up at Boromir. His big brother was holding him close in his arms, his nightshirt and hair all messed around as if he had just tumbled out of bed and run over. He looked scared, his eyes big and green, but all Faramir could think was that he was alive, and the fire from Mordor hadn't killed him. And that meant Mother and Father were all right, too. It really was all just a dream.
But it hadn't felt at all like a dream, and he couldn't stop shaking, or feeling very afraid.
"Boromir?" he said, his voice all broken and full of tears.
His brother smiled at him a little, but he didn't look happy. "You were having a nightmare, little brother, a very bad one, I think," he said, still holding him. Faramir didn't want him to ever let go. "You were screaming, loud. Are you all right?"
Suddenly Faramir thought again of the fire killing everybody he loved, leaving him all alone, and even though he knew only babies cried, he couldn't help it. He wrapped his arms as tight as he could around Boromir's neck and started to cry, harder than he'd ever cried before. It made his throat hurt so bad, and his face felt very hot, and he knew Father would scold him for being weak, but none of that mattered. It had all been too horrible to think of without tears.
He cried and cried, the dream coming back even with his eyes tight shut, and it just made him afraid and want to cry even more. He hugged his brother hard, thinking how glad he was that he wasn't really dead, and loving him all the more because Boromir didn't seem to mind that he was being weak and crying. It felt like Boromir was hugging him just as hard, and he was stroking his hair and talking to him in a soft voice just like Mother had done when he was very little. It made him feel a lot better, to know Boromir was there and wouldn't let go.
Then after a while he didn't want to cry anymore, even though he still held on to Boromir, sniffing. His throat and head hurt now, and he felt very tired, like he could go to sleep right on Boromir's shoulder. Boromir was gently rubbing and patting his back, something else Mother did a lot, and didn't even seem to care that his nightshirt was now pretty wet from all the tears.
"Must have been a very bad dream," said Boromir in a serious voice. Faramir was resting his head against Boromir's chest now, and he nodded his head hard.
"You died," Faramir said with a loud sniff, wiping his nose on the long sleeve of his nightdress. "You and sniff Mother and Father, and it sniff swallowed up the whole city!" He sobbed a little, just once. "You were all gone, and it tried to get me, too!"
"That does sound bad," Boromir said softly, hugging him again. "What was it, a dragon?"
Faramir shook his head as hard as he could. "It was fire, from over the mountains," he said, and he couldn't stop his voice from shaking as he buried his face in Boromir's shirt again. "From Mordor!"
"Mordor?" Faramir couldn't see Boromir's face, but he thought his big brother sounded more worried than before.
Faramir nodded his head without lifting it. "This big sea of fire came over the mountains," he said, grabbing Boromir's damp shirt in his little fists as he saw the dream again in his mind. "It burned up all the fields, and all the walls, and you and Mother and Father. Nobody could stop it, and it was hot and I felt like I was burning up..."
He hiccupped and started to cry again, but it only lasted a minute. He thought it funny that Boromir didn't say anything, just rocked Faramir a little and patted his back until the tears passed.
"I'm sorry, little brother," said Boromir, and his voice sounded sad. "That does sound very scary. Even our bravest general would scream from a dream like that!"
Faramir sighed and wiped his eyes hard. "I'm sorry I cried," he mumbled, feeling silly now. "It was just a stupid dream."
"Oh, don't feel bad," Boromir said, rubbing his shoulder a little. "I'd sure cry if I had a dream like that."
Faramir looked up at him, surprised. He'd never seen his brother cry. "Really?"
But Boromir looked like he was telling the truth when he nodded his head. "Sure! If I ever dreamed I'd lost you, I'd cry so much, everything in this room would float right out the door from all the water."
He smiled, and Faramir smiled too at the idea of seeing such a thing, but he knew what Boromir was saying and loved him for it.
"You've got nothing to feel bad about," Boromir said, rubbing Faramir's back. He sighed and looked unhappy. "Father should have told you about what's in Mordor, so you wouldn't worry so much about it." He seemed to be thinking, then looked down at Faramir. "I'll tell you, if you want."
Faramir's eyes went as wide as he could make them. He was very sleepy now, but still as curious as ever. "Won't you get in trouble?" he whispered.
Boromir's lips went tight. "I'd rather get in trouble than let you have any more bad dreams," he said, in a voice that sounded like he really meant it. Then his face went soft and he looked right into Faramir's eyes. "But I'll only tell you if you really want me to, and then only some of it, all right? You might not understand all of it yet, and some of it is a little scary."
Faramir thought about it for a minute. It sounded bad, but the dream was bad, too, and nothing could be as bad as not knowing. If he knew, maybe he could help somehow, or at least make sure he could help when he got big enough.
He looked up at Boromir and nodded.
Boromir's face went very serious. "All right. Come on."
He stood and picked Faramir up in his arms, carrying him over to the large window. By the window was a rocking chair with a big soft cushion, where Faramir had sat lots of times with Mother or Boromir and looked at picture books. Now Boromir sat in it with Faramir on his lap, one arm wrapped around his little brother. They were both facing the window.
"Now," said Boromir quietly, pointing, "do you know the names of those big mountains?"
Faramir looked far away, to where the mountains sat silvery in the moonlight across the wide plains and the river. He thought but had to shake his head.
"They're the Ephel Duath," Boromir said, and Faramir thought that was a pretty funny name. "Or the Mountains of Shadow. They run all around the land of Mordor."
The second name of the mountains sounded a little scarier, and Faramir stared at them. They looked pretty quiet right now. "Have you ever been to Mordor, Boromir?" he asked in a whisper.
"No, but I've talked to soldiers who have," he said in a very respectful voice. "And they're the bravest men in Gondor, but you know, even they get scared of Mordor! So you shouldn't feel ashamed for being scared, too. It doesn't mean you're not brave."
Faramir felt better at this idea. "Did they say what was inside?" he asked, his nightmare coming back in his head. "Is it full of fire?"
His brother shook his head and rubbed his brother's arm. "Don't worry, little brother, it is not full of fire. From what they said, it's cold and dark and full of very boring rocks."
Faramir frowned. That didn't sound very scary at all. What was everyone so afraid of? "Then what makes that glow in the sky?"
"That's the old volcano, Orodruin," Boromir said, and he looked very serious again. "We call it Mount Doom. That's a very dangerous place; nobody I know of has ever gone there."
Faramir felt himself go a little cold. Mount Doom sounded pretty bad, he had to admit.
"Why is it so dangerous?" he asked, looking up at Boromir. "Does somebody mean live there?"
Now Boromir looked about as serious as Faramir had ever seen him. "Not at the mountain," he said, and Faramir felt Boromir hug him tighter, "but in Mordor, yes, somebody very mean lives there. He's why everyone is so afraid. He's the ruler of the land, and his name is Sauron."
"Sauron," Faramir said, thinking he should know the name by heart, since he seemed so important. "He must be a very bad man, to make everybody so scared of him."
For a few minutes it looked like Boromir didn't know what to say next.
"He is very bad," he said after a long time, "and I don't think he's a man, at least not a man like Father or Uncle. My tutor says he's a wizard like Mithrandir, but I think even he doesn't know very much about him. Nobody I know has even seen him."
This puzzled Faramir, who frowned. "Then how do they know he's there?"
Boromir chuckled and rubbed Faramir's hair. "That's a smart question! I've heard tell they figured it out by watching Mount Doom. Sauron fought with Elves and Men a long, long time ago, and lost, and disappeared for a long time, and the scrolls say that after he left the mountain went all cold and quiet for thousands of years. Now there's smoke and fire coming from Mount Doom again, and the wise men think that means he's come back."
"Oh," Faramir said. That made sense. "Is that why everyone's so afraid to talk about Mordor? Because Sauron lives there and they're scared of him?"
He saw his brother look worried, and it was a minute before he said anything. "Now, Faramir, this might get scary for you," he said slowly, looking Faramir right in the eye. "Are you sure you want to hear? You can say if you're getting frightened, I won't laugh or think you're weak. I just don't want to scare you."
Faramir thought hard about it. He was a little scared, he had to admit, but he didn't want to stop. He knew a little now, but he wanted to know a lot more. Nothing Boromir could tell him could be as awful as that dream.
He lifted his chin and looked right back at his brother. "You can tell me, I'm all right," he said, and was proud that his voice didn't shake.
"You're not scared?" Boromir asked. It sounded like a test.
Faramir sighed. "I am, a little," he said. He could never lie to Boromir. "But - I still want to know. Please, Boromir? I'll say if I get too afraid, I promise."
"Well...all right," Boromir finally said carefully, "but you tell me when you want me to stop."
"I will," Faramir said as firmly as he could, so Boromir would believe him and know it was all right.
"Very well," Boromir said with a nod, and sat back in the old rocker again, Faramir in his lap as they both looked out the window at the mountains. It felt to Faramir as if his brother was holding him a little tighter than before.
"Now, even though he's got his own land, Sauron wants all of Middle-earth, not just Mordor," he said quietly. "So he's been sending out armies to fight us, and all the free peoples. Everybody's scared because he's our enemy and we don't want him to win, and we're doing all we can to fight him off so we don't lose our homes. You've seen all those soldiers ride out through the big gate every few days? That's where they're going. To fight Sauron's armies."
Faramir thought about this. There was a lot going on in the city he didn't see, he knew, and maybe this was why. They didn't want him to know about all the fighting.
"So all our soldiers are fighting Sauron's soldiers?" asked Faramir.
Boromir nodded. "It's called a war," he said, again very serious. "It's been going on for a long time." Then it sounded to Faramir as if he was smiling a little. "But our soldiers are the bravest and strongest anywhere. One day we'll win, and then our home and all of Middle-earth will be safe."
Faramir thought about this; he'd played soldiers with Boromir, and knew what fighting was, and what an enemy meant. He tried to think of all the men he'd seen leaving the City, going out to do what he did with his little soldiers every day. It was hard to see it clearly in his head, since he hadn't been allowed to see a real battle yet, but he understood.
He'd been quiet for a long time, and all at once he saw that Boromir was looking at him.
"Are you scared?" Boromir asked. He sounded worried.
Faramir thought about it, then shook his head. He knew he wasn't afraid. "It's sad," Faramir said, once he figured out that that was how it made him feel.
His brother went quiet, too, then, and he seemed to be thinking.
Then Boromir looked down at him, and Faramir thought he must be all right because he was smiling just a little. "Since we are both fully awake now, was there anything else you wanted to know?"
Faramir looked out the window, too. "Where did that big black cloud come from? Is it smoke from the burning mountain?"
Boromir shook his head. "Not even Mithrandir knows that for sure, I think," he said. "I've heard some of the men say it's there because of Sauron's wickedness. They said if we don't stop him, the cloud will grow so big it'll cover the whole world."
Faramir thought about that and shivered. It was bad enough not to be able to see the sun here. What if the cloud went all the way to his Uncle's home by the sea? In his mind he saw the beautiful seashore all cold and dark, with no more sunrises forever, and felt like crying again.
"That's awful," he said, looking back at his brother. "Why is Sauron so mean?"
His big brother was quiet at first, then smiled a little and put both arms around him. "Now that, I cannot say," he said, giving him a squeeze. "Maybe he didn't have a far-too-curious little brother to hug, and I bet that would make just about anybody grouchy."
Faramir smiled, too, as Boromir ruffled his hair.
Then his brother sighed. "But other than that, I don't think anybody really knows, not even Father. They're just doing the best they can to keep him from hurting Gondor." Boromir didn't say anything for a minute. "I think that's about all I can tell you right now about Mordor. Next year you'll start learning from a real tutor, and as you grow up and get even smarter you'll learn all about it."
Faramir's smile went away as he looked out at the dark mountains again. He had just thought of one more question.
"Boromir?"
"Yes, little one?" His brother was still holding him with both arms, and was looking out the window too, his chin resting just by Faramir's ear.
"When you get bigger, are you going to be a soldier and fight Sauron, too?"
He heard his brother draw a long breath.
"Father says I'm to be a soldier one day, so that will happen for sure," he said. "And If we're still fighting Sauron, I suppose I'll be fighting him, too. But maybe by then it'll all be over."
A sad feeling came over Faramir at this thought. "But if it wasn't, you'd have to go away to fight him, wouldn't you?"
"I suppose, but you don't have to worry about that now," said Boromir quickly, giving Faramir a reassuring hug. It sounded like he was smiling. "I can't start training until I'm thirteen, and that's years and years away yet! We have lots of time to be together until then. And once Sauron's defeated, why, you'll never be rid of me."
Faramir looked up at him. "I don't want to be r...rid of you, Boromir," he said, and yawned. "Not ever."
Boromir picked Faramir up in his arms and carried him back over to his bed. "I don't ever want to be rid of you, either," Boromir said, "but I think now it's time for you to go back to bed, before we both get in trouble. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, just in case you have any more nightmares, all right?"
Faramir nodded, but he didn't think he'd have any more nightmares, because now he knew what was in that land across the mountains. The thought that Boromir might go away one day to fight scared him more than Mordor, and he wanted his brother close, just until he fell asleep.
Just as Boromir was putting him down into his bed, another question popped all at once into Faramir's head. "Boromir? Can I ask you one thing more?"
"Well...all right," Boromir said slowly, pulling the blankets up over Faramir, who was sitting up in the bed. "But just one, and then you've got to promise to go right to sleep."
Faramir nodded. "I will!" This was something he had to know.
His brother finished tucking Faramir in and knelt down beside the bed so he could talk to him. He was smiling a little. "And what one more thing would you like to know?"
Faramir felt too serious to smile. "If Sauron lost once, that means he can lose again, doesn't it?" Faramir asked.
"Of course!" his big brother said, his grin getting a little bigger. "And he will. Gondor's army will beat him back to his old mountain and lock him up there forever."
Faramir felt very hopeful. "And the dark cloud will go away so we can see the sun come up every morning?"
Boromir nodded. "I'm sure it will."
He waited before asking his last question. It was the most important one. "Then will Mother be happy again?"
His brother stopped smiling so much, and he looked down. "Yes, then I think Mother will be very happy," he said, so softly that Faramir almost didn't hear him.
Faramir smiled a little. "Then I hope we win soon," he said, thinking how nice it would be if Mother could get out of bed and be well again, so they could read and play together as they did before.
Boromir sighed, and looked up at Faramir. "So do I, little brother," he said, and Faramir thought he sounded sad. But then Boromir smiled again, gave him a quick hug, and stood up. "Now keep your promise and go to sleep. I'll be right here if you need me."
"I will," Faramir said, burrowing right down into his bed, happy now. "Thank you, Boromir. Good night!"
"Good night," he heard Boromir say, and then he buried his face in his pillow and closed his eyes.
Faramir found it wasn't too hard to go right back to sleep. 'Mithrandir would be proud of me', he told himself before his mind got too fuzzy to think, and smiled. The old wizard always said the best way to not be afraid of something was to find out all he could about it, and Faramir knew now that it was true.
Feeling much better, Faramir snuggled into his warm blankets, and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.
He woke up the next morning without having any more bad dreams, and as they were getting dressed for breakfast, he made sure to give Boromir an extra-big hug for helping him and being such a wonderful brother.
"Well, you did make me miss a lot of sleep , which is bad for a growing warrior like me," Boromir said with a big grin as he messed up Faramir's long hair. "But I'll forgive you, because I wager that's the last time it will happen. You're getting braver and smarter every day, and pretty soon you won't be scared of anything. Except maybe taking a bath!"
Then Faramir threw a pillow at him, and they both laughed.
At breakfast, Faramir made sure to behave himself before their father. He wanted to tell Father that everything was all right now, that he knew about Mordor, but since that would have gotten Boromir into trouble, he kept that secret to himself.
Boromir then went to his morning session with his tutor while Faramir went with his nurse to the courtyard to play with the other children, as he did every summer morning. Today they finger-painted, and he drew out a long line of light gray mountains standing tall over a green field. Over them he painted a wide blue sky and a big yellow sun just rising up between the peaks.
It was sort of smeary, but he smiled when he looked at it. 'That's what the sunrise will look like here one day,' he thought happily. He'd give it to Mother later on. Maybe it would help her feel better until she could see the sun rise over the City for real.
After their noontime meal, as Faramir played in the warm summer sunshine with Boromir, he looked over at the dark cloud and the red fire across the mountains and thought about everything Boromir had told him. It was a lot to think about, but he wanted to be sure he remembered it all.
Down below them, a column of soldiers was riding through the Great Gate out of the City. Even from way up high he could see their silver armor flashing in the sun. He watched them, and knew where they were going now, and it made him sad.
He didn't want Boromir to have to ride away with them someday.
'I wonder if I'll be a soldier, too?' Faramir thought, and the idea surprised him. He liked playing with his toy soldiers, but he never thought maybe he'd be one someday. He didn't think he liked to fight, at least not as much as Boromir did. The idea scared him a little.
As he stood by the wall looking at the soldiers riding off across the fields, he felt Boromir put his arm around his shoulder. Boromir was smiling at the soldiers, and Faramir knew he was proud and excited. Boromir wasn't sad at all to see them ride off, their armor shining, their heads held high. He thought it was glorious; Faramir had heard him say so before when they'd watched the soldiers go. He wasn't sure what that meant, really, but Boromir had looked happy when he said it.
But Faramir still felt sad to see them go.
He stood with his brother, not minding how hot the summer sun was on his face, or how the wind was blowing his long hair into his eyes. He just looked at the soldiers, and the mountains of shadow, and the black cloud with its fiery center.
'If I'm ever a soldier', he thought, 'I'll do all I can to make that cloud go away. Even if it's hard, I'll do it. Even if it hurts. Just so Sauron leaves and never comes back. Then Mother and Father will be happy, and the soldiers can come home, and Boromir won't have to leave us and fight.
'I'll fight Sauron himself if I have to. And I won't be afraid.'
Faramir watched as the soldiers rode away, still shining under the bright sun. They shone until they crossed the wide field, rode into the shadow of the black cloud, and disappeared.
THE END
Thanks for reading! Reviews always appreciated!
Sue :)
