Roadtrip

A Harry Potter fanfic

A/N- This started off in an English lesson as a joke someone threw into a conversation. I decided to write something about it to pass the time in English and a few other boring lessons after that. Anyway I have decided to share my creation with the world in the hopes that I bring a smile to everyone's faces. Awww, how sweet.

With thanks to everyone in English, most of whom will recognise themselves in this story.

The Beginning-

"Today," said Lord Voldemort in his "evil dictator" voice, " I have a very important announcement to make. Everyone listen." He waited for a while for his loyal death eaters to break off their various pursuits and listen to him. 10 minutes later he gave up on waiting and hit them all with an attention charm.

"I have had enough of that Potter brat. He can go chuck up for all I care. Just because some crazy old bat said that I have to kill him doesn't mean I have to NOW. I think that we could all do with a much earned break from death-eatering."

"What are you suggesting, O Lord-of-all-that-is-evil?" Bellatrix asked.

"More like Lord-of-the-hyphen," Wormtail hissed under his breath.

"What did you say?" Bella say, grasping her wand.

"Nothing, nothing," Wormtail hastily backtracked.

"Avada Kedavra!" Bella said, sweeping her wand over Wormtail. There was a flash of green light and a rushing sound along with someone tutting.

"Now Bella, why did you do that?" Voldemort asked his biggest fangirl.

"He smelt weird, and he was annoying me," Bella answered innocently.

"Oh well, no major loss there, on with the announcement. We're going on a," he paused for dramatic effect, "ROADTRIP!"

"YAY!" Narcissa squealed from a corner. Lucius looked around, puzzled.

"When did you become a Death eater?" he asked his wife.

"About two minutes after you did,"

"Oh" Lucius finished calmly, "That's nice,"

"So about this roadtrip," Bella asked, "Who's coming?"

"Me, you, Narki and Lucie, Sev, Greyback. Is Draco at school?" Voldie answered, ticking off his inner circle.

"Yes he is." Narki answered his question.

"Is he?" Lucius asked, again puzzled.

"Yes, he left home six months ago,"

"I knew something was different. I just thought you'd bought new curtains."

"ANYWAY, when do we leave?" Bella asked, stopping her sister mid thought.

"As soon as we're ready." Voldie answered.

"Knowing Narki that'll be in 5 years!"

Not quite 5 years later all the death eaters were packed ready to go on their roadtrip. The six death eaters stood outside Malfoy manor with all their luggage. Suddenly Voldie realised what they were missing:

"Erm, do any of you guys have a car?" he asked.

"No," was Bella's immediate reply.

"I wouldn't want anything so HUMAN!" Greyback was obviously very offended.

"Is that a yes?"

"NO"

"We do! We do!" Lucie shouted.

"No we don't we sold it 16 years ago,"

"Oh, We don't! We don't!" he shouted just as enthusiastically.

"I know someone who does." Snape said mysteriously, " He is old, has half moon spectacles and a long beard."

"You mean Santa's gonna lend us a car?" Lucius asked, whirling around as if to see the jolly christmas-gift giver behind him.

"No. Guess again."

"I hate guessing games," Lucius said moodily and stormed off to sit on a nearby bench.

"You mean Dumbledore don't you Severus." Voldermort said, growing tired of humouring his servant.

"Awww, you weren't supposed to guess yet." Snape said huffily and stormed off to sit next to Lucius.

"YAY!" squealed Narki, "We're going to Hogwarts!"