I in no way own the Harry Potter series. I would love reviews, but no flames please. Enjoy, I have many chapters to comes!
It was his seventh journey to King's Cross. The seventh time he watched Hogwarts fade into the background behind the grey tufts of smoke trailing the Hogwart's Express, the seventh time he gathered in a compartment with his friends after a long year, the seventh time he escaped death. However, it was the first time he ever felt completely content, completely safe on this journey. For the first time in seven years, Harry Potter was free from the burden of Voldemort. He had spent nearly a year away from Hogwarts, away from nearly everything he cared about to hunt down Voldemort's horcruxes, culminating in the final confrontation at Hogwarts. The battle literally "killed" him, but in the end it was Voldemort who lay dead, once and for all conquered.
So there he sat, for the first time in his life without a purpose, without a destiny, and he was completely fine with that. His arm warmly wrapped around Ginny as she wearily laid her head on his chest, he sighed as he watched Ron and Hermione silently holding hands in the seats across from him. He felt a surge of emotion as he thought about how close he came to losing them. So many had fallen, including Ron and Ginny's brother Fred. They had been spared…so had he. He vowed that his life would honor those who had given their lives, and as painful as it seemed, that meant going on with each new day without them.
Suddenly, the sound of Ron's voice woke him from his reverie. Standing over Ginny with a gentle hand on her shoulder he said, "We are almost there, so I was thinking we'd go check on Dad and Mom. You know since…Fred…she likes to have all of us near."
Her already red eyes began to water slightly at the mention of her slain brother, but she gave a brave nod toward Ron and picked herself pushed herself up from the chair.
Looking at Harry she said, "I'll see you in a few minutes." Ron left the compartment and Ginny turned to follow, but Harry quickly stood up and grabbed her arm to stop her. She turned back toward him, and he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, hoping to comfort her in this small way. When he pulled back she gave him a grateful smile before chasing after her brother.
The door slamming shut he turned to face Hermione and caught her looking at him with a small smile.
"What?" he asked, but his tone catching her smile.
She laughed before standing up and saying, "Oh nothing…just enjoying the amazing transformation from Harry the Warrior to Harry the Boyfriend."
He joined in her laughter. There had been precious little to laugh about during their nearly year long hunt. "What can I say, after 7 years of war my sensitive side needs some exercise."
Hermione chuckled at this. "I suppose it does." They continued to stand quietly across from each other before she continued, "So what's next for you Harry?"
Without hesitation he answered honestly, "I have no idea." He truly didn't. Voldemort was dead. His life for the first time was an empty page waiting to be written, not some prophecy or destiny. For once in his life, nothing was required of him, and it felt amazing.
Hermione smiled at his answer, "Me too." Harry was surprised at this answer. Hermione was always thinking ahead, planning the next move. She continued, "I'll spend the next few weeks with my parents…try to live of normal life…at least for a little while."
Without warning, guilt overwhelmed Harry. By being his friend, he'd taken ever chance she'd had at a normal life. Since age 11, she'd devoted her life to helping him along his destiny. In seven long years she had never left his side, no one, not even Ron could say as much. He watched quietly as she walked to the window and wistfully watched the passing landscape. Her brown locks flowed down her back, the curves of her waist and hips catching his gaze unwittingly. She was a beautiful girl…woman, really…from whom he had taken so much. She should have been Head Girl this year, graduating at the top of her class, with nothing to worry about except NEWTS and whether or not Ron would finally admit his feelings for her. How many lifetimes would it take to repay the lost time, childhood, innocence, and security?
"Hermione," his voice cracked, "I'm so sorry." The tremor in his brought her quickly to him.
"Harry, what…" she started, but he stopped her.
"No, I must get this out. Just listen," he said as she resolutely shut her mouth. He breathed a sigh as he continued, "For the past seven years you gave me the best of you. Your friendship, your loyalty, your knowledge, your safety…your very life. And I…I have given you nothing in return but an uncertain future. I have done nothing but put your life in danger for seven years. How could you ever forgive me? I can't…"
"Stop it right now," her voice tense with emotion. "I will not listen to another word. It is now your turn to listen." Unable to meet her intense gaze he looked to the floor.
"Look at me," she said roughly, but it was her gentle hand on his chin lifting his face to hers that gave him the courage to look into those chocolate orbs. They stared deep into his, giving him strength to hear her words. "Don't you dare apologize for things that have been my choice or dare to pretend that following you was anything but my choice. You've known me too long think that I'd sacrifice everything for a boy…a man who wouldn't do the exact same for me."
"You know I'd die for you Hermione," he cried, "but that is not the point, I asked everything of you…"
"Again, enough! YOU asked for nothing. I gave everything because you are my best friend and the strongest, most loyal, and genuine person I have ever known. If you can't give everything to a person like that than who can you give it to? " Her eyes blazed but quickly softened as her lips curled into a small smile. "The happiest day of my life was when you locked me inside a girl's bathroom with a mountain troll." He couldn't help but crack a smile at that. "Because then you saved me, and you've been saving me ever since. It's only fair that I get to save you every once in a while."
Her words touched his very soul. As much tragedy as he had faced in his life, she was proof that he was so lucky in so many ways. He felt his eyes water a little, but he blinked them away. He saw her fighting tears as well and began to chuckle at the two of them. She joined in to wiping away a few tears.
"There you go putting me in danger again…this time of being an over emotional girl," she quipped.
He laughed, but sobered quickly. He replied quietly, "It wasn't intentional…it never is."
Suddenly he felt her hand interlace with his, and give his a quick squeeze. She gave him a small smile and said simply, "I know."
They stared at each other in silence for a while, absorbing all that had been said. He found his guilt fleeting. She didn't regret him, so he would not regret what had become of both of them.
He found his sense of humor again, and giving her hand a slight squeeze teased, "I suppose you DO know everything."
She laughed and replied, "I do, and don't you forget it…."
Suddenly she was cut short by a giant lurch of the train halting to a stop. She was thrown backwards with Harry following. He felt his free hand instinctively circle her waist to protect her, while his other hand still gripped hers. Suddenly her back hit the compartment wall, while his body weight continued forward pressing against her. The train was now still and Harry found himself in a most precarious situation, a situation he had never dreamed he'd be in with Hermione. There he was, his body trapping Hermione to the compartment wall, his arm wrapped around her waist while his hand pinned hers to the wall above her head. Their faces were inches apart and they were both breathing heavily from the surprise movement. He could feel his face blush at the situation, and as Hermione's cheeks flamed in front of him he knew she was very aware of their position. It was a lover's embrace, an embrace of two people about to yield to passion. Definitely not a position to be found in with Hermione. He made the mental decision to extract himself from this position as quickly as possible, but glancing at Hermione, green eyes met brown and he couldn't bring himself to move. He saw Hermione's blush begin to increase but she made no effort to remove herself from under him. Their silence spoke with an
intensity deeper than any words. They were helpless against each other's gaze. He didn't understand why he was responding to Hermione in such a way, and he was pretty sure Hermione was just as clueless.
It seemed like they'd been frozen there forever, but he was sure it had been only seconds. As time passed he felt his face draw closer and closer to hers, his eyes never leaving hers. Suddenly Hermione spoke in a breathy voice he suspected she couldn't control, "There you go again, putting me in danger." He eyes seemed to tease him, but he could almost see a flame ignited in the chocolate expanse, a silent challenge.
He answered in a voice too low for his normal tone, which surprised him, saying, "Again…it wasn't intentional." Suddenly he saw her eyes darken, and before she turned her face away from his he could almost swear he saw…regret?
He saw her mentally steady herself before replying in a saddened tone, "I know…it never is." Without warning she pushed passed him, firmly, but not in a rude manner. Shocked, he silently watched her grab her things and head toward the door. When she reached the door she paused, and turning back to him gave him one last smile before saying, "Have a great summer."
With one swift movement she was gone, and he was left standing there alone. Slowly gathering his things, he suddenly knew exactly how he was going to spend the next few weeks. Figuring out when in the world just happened between him and Hermione.